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Mori:
Now listen to me, Luis. I got a wager for you.
Luis:
I ain't having no monster measuring contest with you, bro. I keep telling you I ain't into that creepy shit.
Mori Kibbutz about to tell Luis Lopez about his deal

This Ain't Checkers is a mission in the episodic content The Ballad of Gay Tony, given to the protagonist Luis Fernando Lopez by Mori Kibbutz.

Description[]

Mori explains to Luis that they must go to the Algonquin heliport to get onboard a helicopter. The two drive to the heliport in Mori's Buffalo, while Mori says that this competition is for "high roller cats" only. Upon arrival, they are given parachutes and are lifted up above South Algonquin, receiving instructions on the fundamentals of the race.

Walkthrough[]

Once the cutscene ends, the player must pull the ripcord on the parachute and commandeer a boat idling at the dock below, near Happiness Island. After reaching a boat, the player must guide the boat through a series of checkpoints until they reach land in Westdyke. The player must then choose one of four cars, each equipped with nitro that must be skillfully used to drive to the finish line in Middle Park. Once the finish line is reached, a cutscene will play, ending with Mori making up excuses for why he lost, going so far as to say someone sabotaged his car.

Mission Objectives[]

In order to complete the mission, the player must:

  • Get in the car.
  • Go to the heliport.
  • Get in a boat.
  • Drive to shore.
  • Get in a car.
  • Drive to the finish line.

100% Objectives[]

Complete the mission in 7:30
Take 0% Damage
Land in one of the boats after freefalling.
Was always in first for the duration of the race.

Video Walkthrough[]

GTA_The_Ballad_of_Gay_Tony_-_Mission_15_-_This_Ain't_Checkers_100%_(1080p)

GTA The Ballad of Gay Tony - Mission 15 - This Ain't Checkers 100% (1080p)

Glitches[]

  • A glitch occurs with the waypoint in this mission after the player chooses a car. Instead of following along with the player, the pink line will still start from the beach where the cars were located.

Trivia[]

  • The mission's name may refer to a quote from the film Training Day "This shit's chess, it ain't checkers!".
  • The helicopter and its occupants will despawn immediately after the cutscene.
  • Pulling the ripcord before being in first place will instantly prevent the player from obtaining the "Always First" scoring mark.
  • The Bullet GT waiting at the final portion of the race has a unique lime green colour, it is possible to save it after the mission.
  • Mori will be seen driving in his Buffalo and Squalo if the player does not choose them because he owns them. Similarly, the other vehicles appear to be owned by the other competitors. The Blade, Floater, Comet and Bullet GT are owned by the other NPCs, while the Smuggler and F620 are always left for Luis.
  • This mission is the second opportunity in the game to get Mori's uniquely red Buffalo without failing the mission. The first chance is on the mission Kibbutz Number One.
  • There is a glitch that will cause the final cutscene to be completely skipped if reaching the goal with the nitro activated.
  • The brakes of any car will visibly overheat if they are used while the nitro is also activated.
  • When replaying the mission, Luis will always drive the F620.
  • Mori will almost never win the race without Luis intentionally stopping the other racers, in part due to his vehicle choice being inferior in both top speed and acceleration. However, the Comet will usually win if Luis does not. If Luis is driving the Comet, then the Bullet GT will win in place of the Comet.
  • If Luis loses the race and the player chooses the replay option, the game will start Luis at the part where the racers choose their cars (instead of at the mission start).
  • In fact Mori didn't checkmate Brucie. Brucie could make his king save by moving bishop to a white square, blocking the rook's attack. However, this may be another example of Mori belittling his brother.

Navigation[]

Navigation
[ ve ]Missions in The Ballad of Gay Tony
IntroductionI Luv LC
Tony Prince
(Gay Tony)
Part 1Practice Swing | Chinese Takeout
Part 2Bang Bang | Blog This!... | Frosting on the Cake | Boulevard Baby | ...Blog This! | Not So Fast | Ladies' Night
Part 3Ladies Half Price
Part 4Departure Time *
Mom's House
Adriana Yanira LopezMomma's Boy
Armando & HenriqueCorner Kids | Clocking Off
Yusuf Amir
Part 1Sexy Time | High Dive | Caught With Your Pants Down
Part 2For the Man Who Has Everything
Mori Kibbutz Kibbutz Number One | This Ain't Checkers | No. 3
Ray Bulgarin Going Deep | Dropping In | In the Crosshairs
Rocco Pelosi Party's Over
Side MissionsDrug Wars | Triathlons | L.C. Cage Fighters | Club Management | Random Encounters
Missions in The Ballad of Gay Tony (Category) | Missions | Beta Missions | Side Missions (Category)
* denotes the final story mission.
Crossover missions:
Grand Theft Auto IV | The Lost and Damned |Both