“I like you, big boy. Maybe you can help. Maybe you can prove you a man. Huh? Take out the boat. Show me you got some big cojones, and not some little bitty chiquita ones.”
Tommy Vercetti receives a call on the mobile phone he stole from Leo Teal from Umberto Robina. After he tells him that he killed Leo, Umberto suggests that he drive to the Café Robina in Little Havana. In the café, Umberto confronts Tommy and questions his masculinity. Tommy insults him right back, and Umberto tells him to prove himself by proving he can drive a boat.
The Mission[]
Rico, a member of the Cubans, accompanies Tommy to watch him.
The boat must be driven through a series of checkpoints, including some sections through narrow canals, and a few ramps. Losing speed, lack of boat handling and patience can make Tommy lose time and eventually fail the mission. As some of the checkpoints are in the air above the ramps which requires the boat to be driven with enough speed, good handling and patience.
The checkpoint race must be completed in three minutes or the mission is failed. The mission is also failed if the boat is destroyed.
Mission Objectives[]
In order to complete the mission the player must:
Go through the first checkpoint to begin the test.
You have three minutes to get round the course.
Reward[]
The reward for completing this mission is $1,000 and the missions Cannon Fodder and Juju Scramble are unlocked.
Hey, easy Papi, this man's for me. You, you the boy? Oh yeah, you the boy. I think so, you know?
Tommy:
No, I don't think I do.
Umberto:
Oh yeah? You come here, tough guy. You think you can take me on? You think you can play stupid with me?
Tommy:
No, I think you're playing plenty stupid enough for both of us.
Alberto:
Hey, he call you dumb, son.
Umberto:
And I call him a little girl, Papi. Look at him, all dressed up like that. What is this, ladies night? You some kind of tough guy, you dress like a woman? You got on panties like a woman too, huh?
Tommy:
What you got against women? You prefer men, big boy?
Umberto:
I like women! I like all women! I love my mother, chico!
Tommy:
Alright, alright, I'll take your word for it. Relax.
Umberto:
Can you drive, amigo?
Tommy:
Yeah... like a woman.
Umberto:
(laughs) Very funny. I like you, big boy. Maybe you can help. Maybe you can prove you a man. Huh? Take out the boat. Show me you got some big cojones, and not some little bitty chiquita ones.
Tommy leaves the café and heads to a dock in Leaf Links, where he meets Rico, a Cuban gang member.
Rico:
Hey, I'm Rico. You the man with the big cojones?
Tommy:
Tommy Vercetti, let's go.
Rico:
OK, man, treat her like a woman.
Tommy and Rico get into a Speeder. Tommy must race across Leaf Links and Vice Beach within 3 minutes, while going through narrow canals and jumping ramps along the way.
Rico:
*(2nd checkpoint) Amigo, you the man, man. *(5th checkpoint) Call yourself a man, man? *(10th checkpoint) You a little scaredy kitten, baby boy, go cry to your mommy! *(16th checkpoint) Not bad, you're a real man. *(23rd checkpoint) Man, you the man, man! I like you, man. I like you a lot. *(24th checkpoint) Any time, man. 'cause you got cojones, and all my friends, they got big cojones.
Tommy beats the clock and arrives back at the Leaf Links dock.
Rico:
You got big cojones, amigo.
Rico sails away in the boat.
Post-Mission Phone Call[]
Auntie Poulet: Tommy, 'nuf dead man been chattin' about you, my dear. Thought you might need something to make you feel better. So Auntie Poulet make you some stew, aye? Come by me kitchen some time, ok Tommy?
Walkthrough[]
Tommy enters the Café Robina in Little Havana to find the man that called him approaching him immediately after seeing him enter.
An older man wants to welcome Tommy, but the other man tells him to stay put and that he'll handle him.
The man asks Tommy if he's "the boy" and says that he thinks he is.
Tommy says that he thinks the man has mistaken him for someone else, but the man is having none of Tommy's excuses.
He asks Tommy if he actually thought he could get away with playing stupid with him.
Tommy tells the man that he doesn't have to play stupid at all, since the man's stupidity is enough for both of them.
The older gentleman tells the man that Tommy just called him stupid.
The man responds by calling Tommy a little girl, also identifying the old man as being his father.
The man finds Tommy's attire laughable and compares it to women's clothing.
The man finds it funny how Tommy considers himself a tough guy, but wears women's clothing.
Tommy asks the man why he finds something being womanly such a bad thing, and asks if he prefers men over women.
The man takes great offence at this and says that he loves women and his mother.
Tommy steps down of the argument.
The man asks Tommy if he can drive and maybe help out his gang.
Tommy answers saying that he can drive "like a woman" referencing the man's previous insults.
The man says that he likes Tommy and finds his jokes funny, before telling him to go to a small dock in Leaf Links and prove his worth by driving a boat.
The man says that Tommy is going to prove his masculinity with this challenge. Tommy then walks out to go to the dock, while the man returns to his duties.
Tommy arrives at the dock and is met by a Cuban gang member.
The beginning of the checkpoint course.
The middle of the course.
The ending of the course.
The Cuban gangster tells Tommy that he was impressed by Tommy and sails off.
Mission passed.
Video Walkthroughs[]
Gallery[]
Tommy meets Rico at the bridge to begin the challenge.
The song that can be heard playing in the background during the opening cutscene is "A Gozar Con Mi Combo" by Cachao. The song is also featured on the in-game radio station Radio Espantoso.
If the player equipped a machine gun before triggering the mission, it can be used to kill Rico when they get out of the boat (it does not affect the storyline).
Umberto asking Tommy if he dresses like a woman is a nod to the beginning of Scarface, where the police officers ask Tony Montana the same question.
If the player kills the golfers that always spawn in the Leaf Links part where you jump over collecting the second checkpoint, the player will get a $100 bonus.
In The Definitive Edition, when Alberto says "Hey, he call you dumb, son," the old man in the middle (named Pepe in the game files) is moving his mouth to speak instead of Alberto. This is an oversight by Grove Street Games.
