- "I have a buyer for a piece of military hardware that is being taken through town. Pick it up for me..."
- ― Colonel Cortez
Sir, Yes, Sir! is a mission in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City given to protagonist Tommy Vercetti by retired army colonel Juan Cortez from his yacht docked in the Ocean Bay Marina in Ocean Beach, Vice City.
Cortez has a buyer who wants a "piece of military hardware", (a tank), which is being taken with a military convoy to Fort Baxter Air Base. He wants Tommy to steal it and drive it to a lock-up in Little Havana. Tommy drives to the convoy and steals the tank (which stops at a doughnut shop) and drives it to the lock-up before the tank self destructs while being chased by the cops.
In order to complete the mission the player must:
- Go and acquire the piece of military hardware that is being taken through town.
- Find a way to steal the tank!
- Drop the tank off in the Colonels lockup before it self destructs.
- Drive the tank into the garage.
- Get out of the tank and walk out of the garage.
Post mission phone call
Kent Paul: Alright me ol'china! It's Paul. I might have a little result for you, but I need to speak to you in person. I'm enjoying a little R&R at the Club Malibu. Reckon you're gonna owe me a favor or two after this, sunshine. I'll see you later.
- The name is a reference to a soldier's response to a superior officer in the military.
- This mission provides a good way to steal a Rhino and keep it for later use. Players simply need to buy the Hyman Condo safehouse, jack the tank then drive there and store it in the big garage. It will explode and fail the mission - save and let the garage door close to repair it.
- It's recommended to steal the tank as soon as possible to shorten the distance needed to reach Hyman Condo. Shooting the turret backward while driving will also increase the Rhino's speed to allow it to reach Hyman Condo faster.
- To eliminate chase vehicles while increasing Rhino escape speed, point the turret to the rear and repeat fire.
- The troops in this mission only carry Ruger assault rifles, unlike the soldiers patrolling Fort Baxter Air Base that wield the deadly M4 assault rifles or the six-star wanted level soldiers that wield MP5s, although they will still kill the player due to a fairly large number of soldiers present if the player cannot get in the tank in time.
- This is the only mission a soldier is in the turret using a machine gun.
- The self-destruct security protocol Delta India Echo timer is triggered when entering the tank and will destroy a stolen tank - killing the operator.
- Despite Cortez telling Tommy to call him immediately after getting the tank, Tommy never does so.
- The self-destruct security protocol 'Delta India Echo', spells out 'DIE' in the NATO phonetic alphabet.
- If a soldier kills another soldier, they will still attack the player.
- Before the self-destruction the security protocol tells the player ”Prepare to die, Communist scum!” It is probably a reference to the soviet-phobic paranoia in the 1980s. (such as the 1984 movie Red Dawn)
- If the player hesitates too long, the tank will eventually park in the Viceport Military Warehouse, failing the mission.