- "I have a buyer for a piece of military hardware that is being taken through town. Pick it up for me..."
- ― Colonel Cortez
Sir, Yes, Sir! is a mission in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City given to protagonist Tommy Vercetti by retired army colonel Juan Cortez from his yacht docked in the Ocean Bay Marina in Ocean Beach, Vice City.
Cortez has a buyer who wants a "piece of military hardware", (a tank), which is being taken with a military convoy to Fort Baxter Air Base. He wants Tommy to steal it and drive it to a lock-up in Little Haiti. Tommy drives to the convoy and steals the tank (which stops at a doughnut shop in Little Havana) and drives it to the lock-up before the tank self destructs while being chased by the cops.
In order to complete the mission the player must:
- Go and acquire the piece of military hardware that is being taken through town.
- Find a way to steal the tank!
- Drop the tank off in the Colonels lockup before it self destructs.
- Drive the tank into the garage.
- Get out of the tank and walk out of the garage.
Post mission phone call
Kent Paul: Alright me ol'china! It's Paul. I might have a little result for you, but I need to speak to you in person. I'm enjoying a little R&R at the Club Malibu. Reckon you're gonna owe me a favor or two after this, sunshine. I'll see you later.
- These methods are popular to complete this mission:
- Engage the convoy early. Intercept the convoy before it reaches the doughnut shop, and kill all soldiers before taking the tank. Bring RPGs with the fast reload ability and a good sniper rifle, these are highly recommended. Once reaching the convoy, remain as far away as possible within firing range, preferably from behind barricades or atop buildings or the bridge. Ripple fire the rocket from maximum long range to detonate all the escorting Barrack OL's, then take out the sniper rifle and shoot the turret gunner off the top causing the driver to abandon the tank. After eliminating the entire escort simply drive the tank to Cortez's lock up (or save garage.)
- Wait at the doughnut shop. When the convoy arrives the tank driver will be ordered to purchase donuts and will reply "Sir, yes sir!" (hence the name of the mission) then run into the doughnut shop - temporarily abandoning the unlocked tank leaving the right door hanging open. The player, without firing a shot, may simply run to the tank then drive to the Cortez lockup. This method is easy and surprisingly quick.
- Block the convoy's route. This method may not work all the time. Park any vehicle in the convoy path. When the convoy arrives, the commander will order someone to drive the vehicle away (he will also answer, "Sir, Yes Sir").
- A well placed shot with a sniper rifle through the view-port will kill the driver who then falls headless out the left door, while his companion remains.
- Take advantage of the moment while the convoy is temporarily halted to run up to the tank and use a melee weapon such as a chainsaw to bash at the door. Eventually, the driver will leave, letting the player to jack the vehicle.
- Kill the gunner on top of the tank. Simply kill the gunner on top of the tank, and when the driver exits the tank, quickly get in before the convoy begins shooting at Tommy.
- Ambush the destination. Fly a helicopter to the military warehouse destination. Prepare The ambush:
Before starting, steal a large truck rig such as the Packer automobile carrier to block the warehouse door, they will ram it so place it carefully across both sides of the warehouse door or the Rhino will be able to ram it and enter - failing the mission.
Start the mission.
Run around the guard spawn with a running chainsaw through the wall, killing all occupants before the convoy arrives.
Move the chopper to the warehouse roof, crouch and wait with RPG rocket launcher and sniper rifle pointed up the road.
When the player opens fire, the convoy disburses in alarm. Remove the head of the tank driver early with a well place shot through the front view-port as it attempts to enter the warehouse. Change attack angle at leisure by boarding the chopper and moving among rooftops to eliminate all escorts - chase vehicles and troops. Drive the tank to the Diaz lockup or to a save garage before the D.I.E. timer expires.
- The name is a reference to a soldier's response to a superior officer in the military.
- This mission provides a good way to steal a Rhino and keep it for later use. Players simply need to buy the Hyman Condo safehouse, jack the tank then drive there and store it in the big garage. It will explode and fail the mission - save and let the garage door close to repair it.
- It's recommended to steal the tank as soon as possible to shorten the distance needed to reach Hyman Condo. Shooting the turret backward while driving will also increase the Rhino's speed to allow it to reach Hyman Condo faster.
- To eliminate chase vehicles while increasing Rhino escape speed, point the turret to the rear and repeat fire.
- The troops in this mission only carry Ruger assault rifles, unlike the soldiers patrolling Fort Baxter Air Base that wield the deadly M4 assault rifles or the six-star wanted level soldiers that wield MP5s, although they will still kill the player due to a fairly large number of soldiers present if the player cannot get in the tank in time.
- This is the only mission a soldier is in the turret using a machine gun.
- The self-destruct security protocol Delta India Echo timer is triggered when entering the tank and will destroy a stolen tank - killing the operator.
- Despite Cortez telling Tommy to call him immediately after getting the tank, Tommy never does so.
- The self-destruct security protocol 'Delta India Echo', spells out 'DIE' in the NATO phonetic alphabet.
- If a soldier kills another soldier, they will still attack the player.
- Before the self-destruction the security protocol tells the player ”Prepare to die, Communist scum!” It is probably a reference to the soviet-phobic paranoia in the 1980s. (such as the 1984 movie Red Dawn)
- If the player hesitates too long, the tank will eventually park in the Viceport Military Warehouse, failing the mission.