The Home page of Our Own Reality.
our-own-reality.com is a news website on the Internet in Grand Theft Auto IV, The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony.
Description[]
Our Own Reality is similar to the Liberty Tree and Weazel News websites, however its reporting is limited to celebrity news and gossip.
Influence[]
The website is a parody of gossip news sources such as TMZ, and serves the purpose of being a satire on 2000s-era celebrity obsession. They parody the exploits of celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, Britney Spears and her 2007 breakdown, and Sean "Diddy" Combs among others. Elements are also taken from British (Kate Moss and the British royal family) and even Russian (billionaire Andrey Melnichenko and his marriage to model Aleksandra Kokotovic) tabloid culture.
Reports[]
| From the start of GTA IV Throughout The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Image | Headline | Transcript | References |
| BREAKING NEWS: Von Crastenburg Sex Tape!!! |
Lorem Ipsum... | Jill Von Crastenburg's sex tape posted on Electrictit.com. | |
| Is it December for January? | Condemning January Natasha Vasquez for having a small amount of cellulite. | ||
| King or Queen? Secret Royal Family Hermaphrodite Shocker!!! |
Fred Pemberton, a former gardener for the British royal family claiming one of its members is a hermaphrodite (it's implied that the website paid him to lie). | ||
| Wardrobe malfunction turns bloody!!! | Kirk Stapleton losing his tongue in a stage accident during the play The Flying Whore. | ||
| Muldoon marriage over in 20 minutes!!! | Samantha Muldoon's twenty minute marriage to Kirk Simplex. | ||
| Celebrity sighting!!! | January Natasha Vasquez walking down the street in San Fierro by herself. | ||
| After Actions Speak Louder than Words | |||
| Brucie Kibbutz will send Niko a link to the site, and tells him that as hard as he tries to get featured on the site, sending in workout photos and even sex tapes, they are only reporting on Tony McTony and Tyrone "Tower" Hancock) | |||
| Image | Headline | Transcript | References |
| BREAKING NEWS: Mini millionaire madness!!! |
Tony McTony planning to sue LC24 magazine for defamation, after they said he has a Napoleon complex. The article includes a short biography of him and his lifestyle. | ||
| From superstar to supersize... who is he again??? | Traci Wilson, once the MVP and 10-year captain of the American soccer team Liberty City Cocks, is now working at a Burger Shot in Los Santos. | ||
| Ernesto Asaltacunas goes to a restaurant!!! | Ernesto Asaltacunas having dinner with his mother. | ||
| In a HOLE lot of trouble? | Charles Martin, an Alderney Senator, is thought to have posed for a homoerotic "goatse" screensaver. | ||
| Beaver Saturation!!! | Crotch shots from the paparazzi becoming cliche. | ||
| Simon is cheating on Nigel!!! | The site trying to spread a rumor about an English gay celebrity couple, artists named Simon & Nigel. They presume Simon cheated on Nigel after a checkup from his dentist. They have also recently done art shows consisting of gruesome historical events, re-enacted with themselves dressed as gorillas (they are separately mentioned in I'm Rich as having done murals in Jill Von Crastenburg's home). | ||
| Celebrity blog shut down | Julian Glockwell, the co-star of the 1980s action show Angel and the Knight, quitting his poorly-received blog. | ||
| Streaker issues statement | A streaker from a Liberty City Penetrators game issuing a press statement that it was a very cold day, referring to his penis size. | ||
| After Tunnel of Death | |||
| Brucie sends a second email | |||
| Image | Headline | Transcript | References |
| BREAKING NEWS: McIntosh goes for a drive-thru!!! |
Kerry McIntosh crashing her car into a Wigwam Burger restaurant after checking out of rehab. | ||
| Furries bored of doggie style | Furries debate over realism vs. better positions during sex. (image shown of a woman in a Cluckin' Bell Chicken uniform) | ||
| 'The Tower' makes out with a hobo! | Tyrone "Tower" Hancock, a washed-up 1980s basketball star, French kissing a homeless man. | ||
| Parker & Von Crastenburg catfight!!! | Cloe Parker and Jill Von Crastenburg fight and make up five times in a single evening at Maisonette 9, which included catfights and drunken bisexual behavior. One instigator was Crastenburg saying hello to Parker's ex-boyfriend, also at the club. | ||
| English 'ladette' takes dump outside nightclub | Katt Maguire pooping on the sidewalk outside a London nightclub (poop up for sale on Craplist.net for $300). | ||
| JNV's EXTREME WEIGHT LOSS!!! | January Natasha Vasquez beginning a crash diet (possibly anorexia) to better her career. | ||
| Another castle for the investment king | Kirk Simplex buying his 8th English castle. | ||
| Weazel to launch war channel | Weazel News launching a new channel, Weazel War, showing what Our Own Reality calls "US troops kicking ass around the world" 24 hours a day. | ||
| After Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend | |||
| Image | Headline | Transcript | References |
| BREAKING NEWS: Straight backatcha biatch!!! |
Tyler Dixon requesting $3 million dowry from Cloe Parker. Other elements of their relationship are discussed; Cloe is the mother of a three-month old black baby which she normally lacks proper caution in caring for (reference to criticisms of Britney Spears' parenting skills, Dixon is also a parody of Spears' ex-husband Kevin Federline). Dixon claims the child is his, even though he is white and he met Cloe only two months before the baby was born. Cloe's billionaire father also stated that he sorely disapproves of Dixon. | ||
| Waning with the Stars Shocker!!! | Cherise McCormic, a 1980s celebrity featured on Waning With The Stars, may have faked being a drug addict to appear on the show. | ||
| Shortage of British judges for US talent shows | Reality shows struggling to find "cranky" British judges, a reference to singing judge Simon Cowell. | ||
| Fat Bitch! | Condemning Jill Von Crastenburg for a small amount of cellulite | ||
| To Brucie Kibbutz | In response to Brucie Kibbutz' persistence (see above), the staff of the website briefly mock him and demand he leave them alone. | ||
| Pete - what kind of name is that for a famous kid? | Tony McTony being criticized for giving his newborn son Pete McTony "too normal a name". | ||
| Governor race takes to the chatrooms | Liberty Governor candidates John Hunter and Michael Graves participating in an immature online flame war to appeal to younger voters. | ||
| Muldoon 'finds religion' 3 times in a week!!! | Samantha Muldoon switching religions 3 times in 1 week, eventually deciding on the Epsilon Program. | ||
| After the final mission | |||
| Image | Headline | Transcript | References |
| BREAKING NEWS: Bryce Dawkins - You got MALE!!! |
Bryce Dawkins exposed as being homosexual after a photo turns up of him kissing "a MALE fitness instructor". Dawkins aggressively denies that he is gay, but goes to a rehab clinic for reasons he would not elaborate on (strong rumors say the facility treats sex addictions). The photo does not feature Bryce's kiss, but only Bryce's image next to a gay-looking man who is not his boyfriend Bernie Crane. Though the text description matches Bernie (fitness instructor living in a lavish apartment), it is more than possible that Bryce had several boyfriends. | ||
| Samantha Muldoon buys another baby! | Samantha Muldoon adopting a 14th child. | ||
| Shear Lunacy! | Tyler Dixon getting his ponytail shortened slightly | ||
| McTony: A microscopic maniac!!! | Tony McTony severely beating a stripper from The Triangle Club during sexual intercourse. Several of McTony's girlfriends, defended McTony and said she "had it coming". McTony was only punished with 3 days of community service. | ||
| 'Like' voted word of the year! | "Like" being voted word of the year, followed by "whatever" and "totally". | ||
| POPPING boffo box office | A very positive review of the dance film "Popping". | ||
| More Madness From McIntosh!!!! | Kerry McIntosh chasing a paparazzi who peeped into her bathroom with a kitchen knife. | ||
