Mary Williamson is an unseen character in Grand Theft Auto IV and its episodes.
History[]
Background[]
Williamson is a journalist for the Liberty Tree.
Events of Grand Theft Auto IV[]
Williamson writes many articles for the Liberty Tree's website www.libertytreeonline.com.
Online Articles[]
McTony Sues Over Napoleonic Slur[]
Little man, big temper
“Diminutive playboy and internet millionaire, Tony McTony, today announced plans to sue LC24 magazine because they had referred to him as Napoleonic. The bling-wearing little man is, he claims, five foot three. Napoleon, his lawyer points out, was only five foot two. Plus Mr. McTony objects to the idea that he has any complexes. He commented, "I am a complex man, but I ain't got no complex - why should I when I am perfect? Complexes is for people who want to sleep with their mommas. I mean, I love my moms, but I never went there". We will keep you posted on developments down there.”
Dragonbrains On The Sidewalk[]
Geek rage on increase?
“A man in period dress was found literally headless after a brawl outside a Dukes movie theater that was showing the movie Dragonbrain. Fans of the movie franchise often dress as their favorite character from the movie and speak in Middle English. Police say the fans argue over movie minutia within the smallest point of trivia sometimes leading to violent conflict. The assailant in the altercation is still being sought by police, but witnesses say he was dressed in a jester costume and playing a lute when he got involved in an argument with the victim about whether it was a realistic plot point that a dragon could breed with a horse. The argument turned violent with the jester seizing the victim's sword and fatally wounding him. Police are requesting any court jesters in the area to come forward voluntarily so that they can eliminate them from their inquiries.”
Club Owner Appeals For Vice[]
Don't turn us into a strip mall, says Prince
“Nightlife king, "Gay" Tony Prince spoke out yesterday after he had two clubs closed by the city. He said that the city should not try to turn itself into a version of the Midwest. Mr. Prince, who has run clubs in the city for 25 years, been to rehab 5 times, and also incarcerated for tax evasion, commented, :I don't have a traditional family. I don't care about family values. That's why I live and work in Liberty City. If I wanted to go to bed at 8pm and worry about noise and hate people who weren't identical to me, I would go and live in Ohio. Nothing against Ohio. I just used it as an example. Liberty City is supposed to be threatening and dangerous and challenging. Right now, it's about as challenging as a dog show." The LCPD spokesman we interviewed noted, "Mr. Prince's clubs were violating 8 city ordinances, and were undoubtedly places where drugs were being consumed. He is lucky he is not back in jail."”
Eris CEO Pete Vassal In Steroid Shock[]
Another celebrity enters rehab
“Keep-fit fanatic and chief executive and founder of Eris Sportswear, Pete Vassal, has been checked into rehab after admitting a chronic addiction to steroids. Mr. Vasssal, the man famed as having the best abs of anyone running a BAWSAQ company, attributed his fitness to a punishing exercise regime. Now it emerges that Mr. Vassal also was a serious 'juicer', consuming a wide variety of steroids and doping products, including the deadly bull shark testosterone, a form of the male hormone so strong it induces terrifying rages and mood swings in all who take it. Mr. Vassal had only recently spoken out against performance-enhancing drugs in sport.
Steroid Scandal Rocks Baseball As Swingers Team Admits Low Dosages[]
Head coach may go
“Team owners are considering firing the Swingers head coach as the steroid scandal grows. Some key players weren't taking steroids at all while others were only taking 50% of the maximum dosage. "This is absolutely unacceptable," said a statement from the team's owners, "The Swingers are here to play baseball and win games. Coaches are expected to push players to the limit, both physically and pharmacologically." Most fans agree after the several seasons of poor performance by the Swingers organization.”
Aisle Have Some of That![]
Is romance dead?
“Given that her first marriage lasted just two hours and her ex-husband walked away with over half a billion dollars, few were shocked when famous-for-being-rich celebutante Cloe Parker demanded that her former backing danger and now fiancée sign an extensive pre-nuptial agreement. However, the pony-tailed backing dancer caught everybody by surprise when he responded yesterday with a dowry request for a staggering $3 million. "I've been in all the celebrity news lately and I'm as famous as she is right now - two can play at that game," he quipped in an interview on meTV last night, "I just want to get all thus money stuff out of the way so I can focus on getting a reality TV show and blog made about my life."
Kerry McIntosh Demands Refund From Rehab[]
Star arrested for DUI and possession
“Kerry McIntosh was barely 12 steps out of rehab last night when she was arrested for DUI and possession of a controlled substance, believed to be a small amount of cocaine. Once the police were made aware of Kerry's celebrity status, she signed some autographs and was released with a warning. According to a statement issued by her agent, McIntosh has decided to sue the rehab center in Los Santos, claiming that she is just as messed up as when she arrived four days earlier. Lenny Tinderman, who runs the $60,000-a-night treatment center and is an active alcoholic himself, told reporters, "Miss McIntosh checked out two hours early, against all our advice. If she cannot complete the program, we cannot take responsibility for the repercussions." In a posting on the supermodel's blog, Kerry told fans that she is now on her way to a new rest facility in the Bahamas, "An enema and a game of tennis and I'll be back on track. If I'm going to face my demons, I want to do it with an ocean view".”