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Feeding the family is my job as a mother. Daddy earns money and goes away with his secretary and mommy provides dinner and keeps a brave face on things, even though her heart is breaking. Where are my pills?
— Jan Brown

Jan Brown is a character that can be heard on Vice City Public Radio in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. She is voiced by Maureen Silliman.

Jan is a conservative mother of at least two (Patrick III[1] and Jono[2]) and believes in the nuclear family,[3][4] the reason she stays with her cheating husband.[5][6] She heads up the Moms Against Popular Culture group[7] and is against, amongst other things nudity,[8] hippies,[9] video games,[10] slang words[11] and culture in general. She describes her life as 'Looking down on others'.

She teaches her two children at home, in particular teaching history.[12] However, she has limited knowledge in both history[13] and biology.[14] She works hard at helping her children, saying that by using history and biology, she works out what's best for her children and ignores the interests of others.[15]

Her mental state is in question and stems from her father ordering her to kill a pig for dinner when she was a child.[16] She is also on medication. [17] This has passed on to her children, with her son Jono killing a post man[18] and Jan saying that when her children are hungry, she hands them a spear to catch their food.[19]


  1. Jan Brown: "I mean, what I heard my son Patrick III" (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  2. Jan Brown: "Yesterday, my youngest Jono, killed the postman, but at least he was trying." (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  3. Jan Brown: "It's about putting the family first." (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  4. Jan Brown: "Well, since I'm a happily married mother, I know the family unit is the basis of all society" (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  5. Jan Brown: "And if you don't like it, find your own husband and stay away from mine, okay?" (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  6. Jan Brown: "Now, even when my husband is working late, or away on an extended business trip to Hawaii with his secretary..." (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  7. Maurice Chavez: "We also have Jan Brown, leader of Moms Against Popular Culture, or MAPC..." (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  8. Jan Brown: "My adorable kids have learned that it's wrong to be naked" (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  9. Jan Brown: "I mean - I mean, I saw the hippies... What a load of claptrap" (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  10. Jan Brown: "What is it, The Degeneratron? What a crock of shit!" (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  11. Jan Brown: "I heard him (Patrick III) using slang words in the house the other day. Rad and cool and stick it... I mean, I beat him to within an inch of his life, and he will never make that mistake again. American should be spoken properly!" (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  12. Jan Brown: "Now I teach my kids history to give them perspective" (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  13. Jan Brown: "Last night I telling them about how Magellan sailed around the Strait of Magellan and met some friendly natives that gave him supplies. Um, then he had to kill all of them..." (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  14. Jan Brown: "If you look at nature, you'll see many species that eat their children to protect them. This is especially true of hamsters." (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  15. Jan Brown: "Now, my morality comes from looking at history and biology and working out what's best for my kids and screw anyone else." (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  16. Jan Brown: "My daddy taught me how to slaughter a pig. That's very useful information. Oh sure, I was a little nervous at first, but he put me in a room with a fork and a fat sow and told me he'd be back in an hour for some fat back and hog jowls. As a mother, I'm proud to say I throttled the life out of that little piggie." (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  17. Jan Brown: "Where are my pills?" (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  18. Jan Brown: "Yesterday, my youngest Jono, killed the postman..." (from the Morality show on VCPR)
  19. Jan Brown: "When my children are hungry I give them a spear and send them off to the park to catch their own food." (from the Morality show on VCPR)