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For the business in Grand Theft Auto V, see Rusty Brown's Ring Donuts, which replaced Glory Holes Bakery in the final version of the game.

The Glory Hole Theme Park is an amusement park located in San Andreas, presumably opened in 1985. It is advertised on the in-game radio in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, and in Grand Theft Auto IV, it has its own accessible website, gloryholethemepark.com.

Description

The theme park seems family friendly, with a mascot named Larry Lion and his pride parade greeting young children at the gates on Main Street, the entrance of the theme park. The main attraction seems to be the Monster Woody Roller Coaster, constructed out of wood due to complaints about the other rides. The Flaming Scream machine was reopened during GTA IV as seen on the website, since an incident on the ride. Other rides and attractions noted were The Spitting Cobra, The Coffeegrinder, Bucking Bronco, Roman Shower, Log Flume and the Galley Wacker.

Rusty Brown's Ring Donuts are sold in the food court along with Buttered Corn, Devil's Raisins and Yogurt Shot. The only noted shopping attraction is a shop named Kings and Queens, a unique store that features custom conceal kits, makeup and jewellery, hormones and wigs, amongst other items not mentioned.

In GTA Liberty City Stories, Head Radio is the "official station" of the theme park and holds a competition to win the chance to "visit San Andreas and the Glory Hole Theme Park". In ad 2 from Head Radio, a Glory Hole Theme Park commercial and the theme song from GTA San Andreas can be heard playing in the background. In addition, K-DST host Tommy Smith claims he is affiliated to the theme park as well.

Commercials

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Commercial #1

Transcript
Man: San Andreas just can't get enough of the Glory Hole Theme Park!
Chorus: Glory Hole! Where strangers become friends! Glory Hole! There's no need to know names.
Man: It's the place for magic and adventure! We all like speaking rodents, to entertain and educate our kids, and now with Gerry Gerbil the kids have someone they can really relate to!
Gerry Gerbil: Kids! Come and play! I've got puppies to show you!
Kids: Yay! Giant speaking rodent!
Woman: Go on kids, have fun! I know it's safe. Gerry's wearing a latex body suit.
Girl: See you later, mom! We're off to have fun with strangers!
Chorus: Glory Hole! It'll hurt, but it's worth it.
Man: Ride the log flume! (splash) Live the adventure of the flaming scream machine! (zap) Glory Hole Theme Park!
All: Glory Hole!
Man: Open every day till 3 AM! Come live the mystery!

Commercial #2

Transcript
Man: Come live the mystery!
Crowd: Glory Hole!
Chorus: Glory Hole! Where strangers become friends! Glory hole! You don't need to know names!
Gerry Gerbil: Cool off in our water sports park! (splash) I’ll show your kids a great time! It's something they'll never forget and talk about for years to come! Especially at therapy sessions!
Man: It's the place for magic! And adventure!
Chorus: Glory Hole!
Woman: Leaving me free to shop and get lipo!
Gerry Gerbil: Who's ready for the incredible Gerbil's Voyage?
Boy: Gerry! Can we come too?
Gerry Gerbil: This is a journey you must undertake alone. It can be dark and scary, but she'll shriek with delight.
Chorus: Glory Hole! It'll hurt, but it's worth it!
Girl: What's that hole in the wall for?
Gerry Gerbil: You wait and see. You'll be amazed! (mutters "fuck this...")
Chorus: Glory Hole!
Man: Glory Hole Theme Park! Open every day till 3 AM!

Trivia

  • A "glory hole" is a hole in toilet stalls and adult arcade booths used for anonymous sexual activities, such as masturbation or oral sex.
    • In addition, the names of rides and other attractions are laden with sex terminology. For example, most of the rollercoaster names are nicknames for a penis, if not other sexual innuendos.
  • One of the theme park's mascots, Gerry the Gerbil, and the second advert in San Andreas are likely references to "gerbiling", a rumoured but most likely apocryphal sex act involving inserting small live animals (usually gerbils but also mice, hamsters, rats and various other rodents) into the human rectum to obtain stimulation.
  • Given its advertising and potential location in San Andreas, it is likely that Glory Hole is based on the Six Flags chain of theme parks and resorts, with additional influence from the Disneyland chain of resorts.

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