Michael: |
Fuck you, Lester. You gotta let me in or what? |
Lester (Voice only): |
Gimme a minute. |
Lester opens the door to his house. Michael enters the house and greets Lester in his living room. |
Lester: |
I was wondering when you'd show up. |
Lester: |
Praise be! I guess you weren't very dead. You...need my help. |
Michael: |
How do you know? |
Lester: |
'Cause you came here. Why else would you? |
Michael: |
I haven't been a good friend for you, Lester. I know that. |
Lester: |
And you're gonna make it up to me by doing whatever I ask. Or rather, I-I mean... I need something done, you need to know something, so, why not help each other? |
Michael: |
I gotta make some dough. |
Lester: |
So you're back in the game? |
Michael: |
I guess. Look, Lester, about what happened before... |
Lester: |
I know you never mentioned my name. I know I'm not on any lists anywhere, I know you never betrayed me. As for you, you gotta figure that I never told anyone, that instead of gently decomposing in North Yankton, you're angrily decomposing in Los Santos with a shrink...and a wife who don't love you no more. |
Michael: |
Yeah...yeah, well. Since you put it like that... |
Lester: |
Hey, shut up a minute, I'm getting an EyeFind alert. That little college boy, sack of shit, phony fuck! |
Michael: |
Who? Jay Norris? |
Lester: |
Yes. That fuck is a lying bastard, I've read his fucking emails, he's a fucking cheat. |
Michael: |
I-I-I heard him say that he saved America... |
Lester: |
What, by outsourcing all the jobs?! By selling us little bits of plastic, restricted-access shit? Well now it's payback time, you lying turd. |
Michael: |
The hell are you talkin' about? |
Lester: |
You are about to get that white collar gig that you've always dreamed of, Mikey. |
Lester gives Michael a backpack. |
Lester: |
Here, that this err, fashionably retro, 'weird-for-a-45-year-old-man-but-I-cannot-let-go-of-the-1980s' bag, and dress yourself up like a billionaire math genius with low-level Asperger's. You better be ready for the minor glitch of your repulsive pseudo-messianic life. |
Lester: |
Get out of here! Call me when you're ready. We're about to put the Darwinism back in social Darwinism, and brother, it's gonna be fun. |
Michael: |
You fuckin' kiddin' me? I'm a bank robber, not a web designer. |
Lester: |
So, we'll go robbing...soon. I'll find something. Just like the old days. |
As Lester uses an inhaler, Michael leaves his house and heads to the Sub Urban clothing store in Alta. |
NOTE: The following text message will only appear if Michael doesn't have enough money to buy the required clothes. |
Lester (Text only): |
Seein as you're having some liquidity problems, I wired some money into your account. Should be enough 4 the getup. |
Michael: |
Ah, excuse me. I got this interview with this tech company. I'm thinking I need something, I don't know...geeky, youthful. |
Sub Urban Clerk: |
Lost your job and the world's moved on, huh? That's too bad. |
Michael: |
I didn't lose my job. |
Sub Urban Clerk: |
Of course. Got too old, got outsourced. Same thing happened to my dad. Now you gotta fit in with a different generation. What about...a vest and some cargo shorts? |
Michael purchases a vest and cargo shorts as part of his disguise. |
Sub Urban Clerk: |
*Tragic, but they'll do. *Dignity aside, I think that just might work. |
Sub Urban Clerk: |
Good luck at the interview. |
Michael: |
(not in subtitles) Bye. |
Lester (Voice only): |
Michael. |
Michael: |
I'm all dressed up. Now, you wanna run me through this thing? |
Lester (Voice only): |
The prototype is somewhere in the Lifeinvader office. Find it, and fit it with the device in your bag. |
Michael: |
They just gonna let me in? |
Lester (Voice only): |
Why wouldn't they, if you look the part? Hang around till someone opens the door and act entitled. |
NOTE: The following text will appear if Michael hangs up on Lester. |
Lester (Text only): |
Blend in with the hipster developer d bags, find the prototype, and fit it with the device in ur bag. |
Michael arrives at the Lifeinvader offices and hangs around the rear entrance to have a smoke. Rickie Lukens exits the offices. |
Michael lights Rickie's cigarette, then lights his own. |
Rickie: |
Oh, great. PM's pushing for more functionality, (chuckles) but we are maxed. I mean, if anything, we have to strip features, especially if we're planning on releasing a fully priced update a year later. Oh, my...you know, it's all this... |
Michael: |
Yeah, well, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do. You know? |
Rickie: |
Err, I mean, we're talking beta in Q4, maybe Q3. Look, milestones are one thing, but when design is changing its mind seemingly overnight, there's not much you can do about it...you know what I'm saying? |
Michael: |
Look, (sigh) my Union-allocated smoke break's about up, so... |
Rickie: |
Wait a minute, do I know you? |
Michael: |
Yeah, I think so. |
Rickie: |
I-I-IT temp, right? |
Rickie: |
You know, you gotta do something for me. |
Michael: |
Ah, you gotta put it in a ticket. |
Rickie: |
Err, no. I'd like to keep this one out of the database, if you know what I mean? |
Rickie and Michael enter the Lifeinvader offices. |
Rickie: |
I'm turning consultant when we release - consulting consulters. |
Rickie leads Michael to his computer on the second floor, which is riddled with pop-up ads. |
Rickie: |
Here you go. If you guys let me use the OS I requested, this wouldn't be a problem. |
Michael sits down at Rickie's desk and starts closing the pop-ups. |
Michael: |
Ah, you've been at it on this PC. Huh, got any antivirus software? |
Rickie: |
I think so. Behind this junk, on the left. Clicked an NSFW link, bro, bit me on the ass. |
Michael: |
Yeah, not safe for work, uh-huh. You know, my son's computer runs into the same kind of problems. I'll close the pop-ups, see what I can do. |
Michael launches the AntEater anti-virus program. |
Michael: |
*There it goes. *Scanning... |
The anti-virus program scans the computer and gets rid of all the pop-up ads. |
Michael: |
And that should do it. Why don't you try and keep things strictly "safe for work" from now on? |
Rickie approaches Michael while playing air guitar. |
Rickie: |
Hey, have you seen the prototype in the demo room? When Norris unveils it at the keynote, minds are gonna blow! |
Michael heads to the demo room and finds a briefcase containing the Lifeinvader Phone prototype. |
Michael removes Lester's device from the backpack and puts it into the phone prototype. |
Michael puts the prototype back into the briefcase and leaves the demo room. |
Rickie: |
*Dude, when it blue screens again, you're my guy. *Making history, dude. Hey, and we couldn't do it without the little guys! |
Michael: |
(not in subtitles) Bye now. |
Michael leaves the Lifeinvader office and heads back home to watch the keynote. Along the way, he calls Lester. |
Lester (Voice only): |
Hey, Michael, hold on, hold on...domed! I domed ya! |
Michael: |
Lester? The thing's in the prototype, I'm going home to watch the keynote. |
Lester (Voice only): |
Teabag time, my friend! |
Michael: |
Lester, did you hear me? Are you playing that game? |
Lester (Voice only): |
Yeah, yeah, sorry, phone is rigged. What's your problem, you don't like shooters? |
Michael: |
They're all the same. Besides, you know me, I'm a movie guy. Classic Vinewood. |
Lester (Voice only): |
Classic Vinewood ended 30 years ago. Now, it's just superheroes, romantic comedies and remakes, none of which interest me. |
Michael: |
Hey, I believe this country can still make interesting movies. There's no better way to define American life than a two-hour plot in which the hero looks good and defeats evil. |
Lester (Voice only): |
Ah, whatever you say...enjoy yesterday. Anyway, just call the device after he's unveiled it, and then we'll talk. |
Tracey: |
(chuckles) Oh my God, you guys are so lame! |
Tracey: |
No, I'm watching Fame or Shame! |
Michael: |
Tough fucking tits! Gimme that... |
Michael snatches the remote from Tracey, who then leaves the lounge, roaring in frustration. Michael then changes the TV channel to Weazel News, currently broadcasting a Lifeinvader keynote event at the Vinewood Bowl. |
Announcer: |
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Jay Norris to the stage! |
The crowd is heard cheering as Jay Norris enters the stage. He tests the microphone for feedback. |
Jay Norris: |
Hey. This company has come a long way since we started it in my parents' pool house in East Carraway. Today, you're about to witness a new phase. Full on, weapons grade, red alert, world domination! |
The crowd applauds and cheers. |
Jay Norris: |
We have put a billion people's private data in the public domain, and we have milked every penny we could in the process. We have one of the youngest work forces in the world! An average age of only 14.4 years, that's not just impressive, it's revolutionary! |
The crowd applauds and cheers again. |
Jay Norris: |
Today, right here, we're about to make the next step! Prepare to witness...the future. |
Crowd: |
Dock! Dock! Dock! Dock! Dock! |
Jay Norris makes a docking gesture with his fingers, then pulls out the Lifeinvader Phone. |
Jay Norris: |
The Lifeinvader mobile device. Yes, we have invented something no one else has ever thought of. A small personal computerized device. Now you're able to stay docked twenty-four seven. On the bus. You can dock. On the subway. Stay docked. You can be docked in at home, and at the same time, you're docking with some kids at the public pool. We went to the guys at Fruit Computers and we told them we wanted to make our hardware as compatible as possible... Now you can dock your Lifeinvader to an iFruit or any other device, and it'll take all the data off and reformat it into Lifeinvader-friendly information. |
While Jay Norris showcases the phone, Michael decides to call him. |
Jay Norris: |
Huh, hold on a second. I think someone's trying to dock with me. |
Jay Norris answers Michael's call. |
The phone explodes against Jay Norris' head, killing him and shocking the crowd. The security tell the cameramen to stop filming before the broadcast cuts to a "Signal Lost" technical difficulties screen. |
Michael: |
Oh! Ach! Oh, Jesus! Whoa, Lest...whoa! |
As the TV turns off, Michael gets up from the couch. Soon, he calls Lester. |
Lester (Voice only): |
(not in subtitles) Ha-ha! |
Michael: |
Lest, that was heavy! You watching the news? |
Lester (Voice only): |
I don't have to, I'm watching the markets. I'll be trading pure alpha 'till close. |
Michael: |
Alright. Hey, about that other thing, you know, the score? |
Lester (Voice only): |
Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Let's do it. Put on a suit, look somewhat professional and meet me at my warehouse off the LS Freeway. Oh, and I'm about to email you a link for the exchange. You can put in some trades of your own. |
Michael: |
I'm trying to stay off the day trading, but maybe I'll take a look. |
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