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Fernando's New Beginnings 2

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Fernando's New Beginnings is a program created by Fernando Martinez that is advertised on the radio in Grand Theft Auto III.

It is designed to "bring the passion back to your marriage" by having husbands sleep with other women, because they no longer wish to sleep with their wives. As said by Fernando himself in Grand Theft Auto III on Chatterbox FM in 2001, to host Lazlow, "People ask me, Fernando, does this only work for men? It can work for the women too." The women have to work for Fernando "to bring the passion back". The phone number is "cinco-cinco-cinco nueve-dos-nueve-dos" (555-9292 in Spanish). Lazlow realizes that the business is just a brothel and tells Fernando to "stop pimping out my listeners".

Fernando's New Beginnings was originally meant to be called 'Man Marriage' before Fernando had a change of heart.

The format that Fernando introduces his company is a clear reference in how businessman George Zimmer advertises his company, The Men's Warehouse on radio and TV spots. Remarkably in the punchlines Hello, I'm Fernando Martinez, founder of Fernando's New Beginnings and I guarantee it!.

Commercial Transcript

  • Fernando Martinez: Has your marriage gone stale? Has the spark gone out of your love life? Looking to add a little adventure to the monotony of monogamy? Hello, I am Fernando Martinez, founder of Fernando's New Beginnings, a revolutionary new way of saving your marriage. We understand how two kids and a mortgage can take the passion out of your life. With our three-step program, you'll rediscover romance guaranteed!
  • Phil: Hi! My name's Phil. I got three kids, two cars and a mortgage. My love life was going stale, even before my wife's car accident. Then I found New Beginnings. Thanks to Fernando, I'm still married, but on Wednesday afternoons, I meet Barbra at the motel by the turnpike.
  • Fernando Martinez: See? The passion she is back, Phil's marriage is saved and his kids will have a daddy to look up to. Call New Beginnings today cinco-cinco-cinco nueve-dos-nueve-dos (555-9292). It will be a miracle, I guarantee! Fernando's New Beginnings: We turn an ending into a new beginning!

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