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ā€œ
9 inches, 7 houses, 28 cars... I've always been about the stats and I'm all in favor of anything that encourages my fans to watch me more closely. I love the fact that grown men now fantasize about me just as much as the young girls. It's a turn-on...
ā€” Ernesto, on Fantasyleaguebatswingers.com.

Ernesto Asaltacunas is a celebrity in the Grand Theft Auto series, who is mentioned in Grand Theft Auto IV and its episodes.

History[]

Background[]

Ernesto Asaltacunas, born in Santa Clara, Cuba, is the star power pitcher for the Liberty Swingers and has a history of dating adolescent girls, including thirteen year old heiress Jill Von Crastenburg. It is heavily implied that Asaltacunas is a rampant pedophile. He has been arrested on two occasions: in 2005 for a criminal sex act on a minor and then in 2006 for possession of a controlled substance (namely steroids). He was additionally caught with child pornography, although charges were later dropped, and was the central figure in a 2006 doping scandal involving the Liberty Swingers.

Events of Grand Theft Auto IV[]

Asaltacunas is mentioned on Our-own-reality.com in the opening story about Jill Von Crastenburg's sex tape, and later, after "Actions Speak Louder than Words", a story about him going out for dinner with his mother appears on the site.

Character[]

Influence[]

Asaltacunas is likely a parody of former New York Yankees baseball player Alex Rodriguez, who was also accused of steroid use and was a high-profile, well-paid player, befitting Asaltacunas' status. Asaltacunas might also partially parody twin brothers Jose Canseco and Ozzie Canseco, both Cuban baseball players who were once implicated in steroid use.

LCPD Database Record[]

LCPDDB-GTAIV-Header
A - E
F - J
K - O
P - U
V - Z
SURNAME
Asaltacunas
MugshotNoData-GTAIV
FIRST NAME
Ernesto
AGE
27
PLACE OF BIRTH
Santa Clara, Cuba
AFFILIATIONS
N/A
CRIMINAL RECORD
2005 - Criminal Sexual Act: Minor
2006 - Possession Controlled Substance: Steroids
NOTES
- Star Power Pitcher for the Liberty Swingers.

- History of dating very young girls.
- Believed to have had a relationship with teen heiress Jill Von Crastenburg.
- Caught in the possession of child pornography but charges were dropped.

- Central figure in a 2006 doping scandal at the Liberty Swingers.

Trivia[]

  • Asaltacunas means "Cradle Robber" in Spanish and is a slang term referring to people who date or have sexual relations with people under 18, referring to his pedophilia.

Navigation[]

[ ve ]Characters in Grand Theft Auto IV
ProtagonistNiko Bellic
Central charactersRoman Bellic | Little Jacob | Dimitri Rascalovā€  | Jimmy Pegorinoā€  | Bernie Crane | Darko Brevic
Main charactersMallorie Bardas | Vladimir Glebovā€  | Mikhail Faustinā€  | Brucie Kibbutz | Manny Escuelaā€  | Elizabeta Torres | Patrick McReary | Francis McReary | Gerald McReary | Derrick McRearyā€  | Kate McReary | Playboy X | Dwayne Forge | Ray Boccinoā€  | Phil Bell | United Liberty Paper contact | Jon Gravelliā€ 
Radio DJsBeatrix Fontaine | DJ Green Lantern | DJ Mister Ceeā€ | DJ Premier | FranƧois K | Roy Ayers | Femi Kuti | Gary Sheen | Jane Labrador | Jeffron James | Lazlow Jones | Marcel LeMuir | Roy Haynes | Ryan McFallon | Karl Lagerfeldā€  | Jimmy Gestapo | Iggy Pop | Bobby Konders | Juliette Lewis | Daddy Yankee | Carl Bradshaw | Vaughn Harperā€  | Ruslana Lyzhychko
Supporting charactersMichelle/Karen | Ilyena Faustin | Isaac Rothā€  | Kim Young-Gukā€  | Ray Bulgarinā€  | Jay Hamiltonā€  | Jim Fitzgeraldā€  | Johnny Klebitzā€  | Gordon Sargent | Michael Keaneā€  | Maureen McReary | Luis Fernando Lopez | Anthony Corradoā€  | Stevie | The Fixer | Tony Prince | Bryce Dawkins | Eugene Reaperā€  | Mohammed | Zorba Philippidisā€ 
Minor charactersAdam Dimayevā€  | Aiden O'Malleyā€  | Alejandra | Alonzo | Andreiā€  | Angela Allanā€  | Angie Pegorino | Anna Faustin | Anthonyā€  | Bennyā€  | Bledar Morinaā€  | Bobby Jefferson | Brett | Bucky Sligoā€  | Catch | Charlieā€  | Charles Matteoā€  | Christopher Tibbits | Chuck Williams-Jones | City Official | Clarence's Associateā€  | Dardan Petrelaā€  | Dave Bosoyā€  | Doctor Rosem | Eduard Borodinā€  | Felipe | Frankie Garoneā€  | Frankie Gallo | Jason Michaelsā€  | Jayvon Simsonā€  | Jermaine Andrews | Jimmy | John | John Barbosaā€  | Joseph DiLeoā€  | Joseph Kaplan | Kalemā€  | Karen (Lawyers) | Katerina | Lamon | Larissa Slalom | Lavar Davisā€  | Lenny Petrovicā€  | Lori Williams-Jonesā€  | Luca Silvestriā€  | Lyle Rivasā€  | Marco Bonnaroā€  | Markā€  | Marlon Bridgesā€  | Mickey | Mitch | Mori Greenā€  | Mr. Fuk's Rice Box manager | Muscovski | Oleg Minkovā€  | Peter Marchettiā€  | Priest | Salā€  | Sheila Staffordā€  | Shirleyā€  | Slimeball | Talbot Daniels | Teddy Benavidezā€  | Thai Prostitute | The Blackmailerā€  | The Doctor | The Haterā€  | The Kidnapperā€  | Kidnapper's Accompliceā€  | The Truck Driverā€  | Tom Goldbergā€  | Tom Rivasā€  | Tonyā€  | Tony Blackā€  | Trunchez Brothersā€  | Unnamed Russian Goon | Vasily | Vera | Mason Waylon | Wedding Assassin | Wilson Taylor Sr.ā€  | Unnamed Lost MC Bikerā€  | Sergei | Ed the Mate | Isaac's girlfriend | Westdyke Memorial Hospital Receptionist
GirlfriendsAlexandra Chilton | Carmen Ortiz | Kiki Jenkins
Random charactersBrian Meech | Mel | Real Badman | Hossan Ramzy | Sara | Pathos | Jeff Harlingford | Marnie Allen | Eddie Lowā€  | Cherise Glover | Cherise Glover's Boyfriend | Clarence Littleā€  | Gracie Ancelotti | Ilyena Faustin | Ivan Bytchkov
Petrovic MafiyaKenny Petrovic | Lenny Petrovicā€  |Mrs. Petrovic | Petrovic's Daughter | Antonā€  | Anton the Ratā€  | Borisā€  | Georgiā€  | Igor | Ivoā€  | Rami Yalon | Sergeyā€  | Vanya | Vasilā€  | Vitali | Yuri
Most Wanted criminalsAlonso Goralskiā€  | Antonio Rivetteā€  | Barry Lamoraā€  | Bert Rekerā€  | Christov Mahonvicā€  | Danny Hatmakerā€  | Darren Coveyā€  | Fernando Tisdelā€  | Freddy Paparoā€  | Frederick Harrisonā€  | Glenn Lushbaughā€  | Jimmy Kandā€  | Juan Haimoā€  | Keenan Burdettā€  | Leo Brodellā€  | Lino Friddellā€  | Marty Boldenowā€  | Maxwell Caughlinā€  | Mervin Eskuchenā€  | Noel Katsudaā€  | Phil Bacerraā€  | Preston Pecinovskyā€  | Rodrigo Stavnesā€  | Rodney McEniryā€  | Scott Guzowskiā€  | Sergi Szerbinā€  | Shon Kikuchiā€  | Simon Nashlyā€  | Tommy Francovicā€  | Tyler Pickrelā€ 
Mentioned charactersChan Jaomingā€  | Fifteen Man Squad | George Lawton | Hsin Jaoming | Huang Lee | Hugh Djas | Joe Lawton | Lester Arnold | Lester Leroc | Mallorie's Cousin | Marko | Mr. Wong | Niko's Brotherā€  | Phyllis | Rudy D'Avanzoā€  | Rudy D'Avanzo's Fatherā€  | Thomas Piretta | Wu "Kenny" Leeā€  | Zhou Mingā€ 
Other charactersRob | Vicki | Yusuf Amir | Troy Harder | Lola Del Rio | Jase | Milica Bellic | Roman's Child | Mila Tadic | Jerry Kapowitz | Horatio Humboldt | Gloria Hole | Steve | Kelly
Beta charactersAlyssa Funke | Bradly Narlock | Cletus Luzell | Dick Godley | Marcel Hevas | Marty Connor | Raymond Alberga | Tommy Francini | Wilbert Wetterer
ā€  denotes Deceased, Italics denotes a status determined by the player's choice
Characters in GTA IV | Category:Characters in GTA IV | Grand Theft Auto IV | Category:Characters
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