Equanox is claimed as a "wonder drug" that combats dissatisfaction, lethargy, depression, melancholy, sexual dysfunction and "just about anything". However, it comes with a long list of side-effects. According to an article from the Liberty Tree, the drug was initially banned by the FDA for causing psychotic behavior in rats and being "synthetically like PCP, only more toxic".
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Man: After the divorce and losing little Tommy, life was letting me down. I couldn't focus on anything at work. After trying Equanox, I've been employee of the month three times in a row!
Man #2: I used to fall unconscious for hours at a time, but now with Equanox, I never need to sleep.
Announcer: Equanox is new, from Zaibatsu Pharmaceuticals. Ask your doctor about Equanox today. Equanox may cause nausea, loss of sleep, blurred vision, leakage, kidney problems and breathing irregularities. Do not take Equanox if you are operating any machinery, driving a car, pregnant, a child of low age, unhappy or if your family has a history of mental disorders. Equanox, softening life's harsh realities!
- The name "Equanox" comes from the words "equal" and "Equinox", the time of year when day and night are the same length.