This is a list of non-mission dialogues in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.
Carl Johnson
Being arrested
Note: The following lines did not exist in the beta version.
- Do I look like a gangster? I’m a businessman! (when he's rich)
- What, you ran out of donuts?
- You can talk about this in the shower with your buddies! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- Fuck you po-po!
- Enough now, po-po!
- Just shut up!
- I ain't scared of you, bitch!
- I don't want y'all doing nothing funny to me at the station.
- Well done, cop. Well done.
- Ahhh, screw you, cop!
- You like big man, huh? (when he's fat)
- My tax money go to this shit!?
- Shut up, bitch! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- Shut the fuck up, bitch! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- Shut up, po-po! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- Fuck you! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- Shut it, punk! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- I'll find you, fool! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- I ain't scared! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- You suck, asshole! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- You're boring me! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- You gonna fail me, calling you a bitch, bitch?!? (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- Fuck you, asshole.
- I don't give a shit!
- You can't stop me, punk-ass cop bitch!
- Whatever motherfucker, you don't scare me!
- You asshole! I'm too fat to run. (when he's fat)
- Give me something to eat! (when he's fat)
- I'd come quietly if y'all feeding me. (when he's fat)
- I'll ruin your career for this! (when he's rich)
- C'mon officer, I ain't no gangster! (when he's rich)
- I can't run no more, po-po. (when he's fat)
- Okay, okay! Shut up and give me something to eat. (when he's fat)
- Do I look like I enjoy a foot chase? (when he's fat)
- You're wasting your breath!
- You got some spare donuts? I'm hungry. (when he's fat)
- I don't give a shit. I'm bored, and hungry. (when he's fat)
- Ah, shut up po-po. Give me a pizza. (when he's fat)
- Can I get a pizza over here? (When he's fat)
- Well done, you've caught a fat bastard. (When he's fat)
- I'm tired of running! And I'm tired of your shit! (when he's fat)
- Look, I'm fat and out of shape, unlike all you chumps. (when he's fat)
- If I was in shape, y'all wouldn't catch me. (when he's fat)
- I swear I didn't do shit. (when he's rich)
- Officer, there must be some mistake. (when he's rich)
- Sir, I fear you're making a terrible mistake. (when he's rich)
- Please sir, I'm just a young man trying to get ahead in life! (when he's rich)
- Officer, untie me this instant! (when he's rich)
- Please officer, give me a break here! (when he's rich)
- Do I look like a street criminal sir? (when he's rich)
- Come on, sir! I'm an honest man! (when he's rich)
- How on earth do you enjoy your job? (when he's fat)
- Hey there's a lot of hoodlums out there. Why you gonna pick on me? (when he's rich)
- Let me go, and we can both forget about this. (when he's rich)
- I got money, officer. Take it! Make your wife happy! (when he's rich)
- You ever get bored of your own voice? (when he's fat)
- You got some donuts we can eat? (when he's fat)
- You get job satisfaction, huh, one-time?
- You just a punk, po-po!
- You gotta understand, I don't give a fuck!
- Yeah, well done. I bet you real happy with yourself now.
- I'm being arrested by a bitch?! I can't believe that!
- Ah, shut up, copper, please!
- Let me go, bitch!
- You motherfucking fool!
- Tell it to your wife or your husband or whatever you got!
- Police asshole!
- I don't care about your bullshit, copper!
- Hey, I'm walking away from this, one-time!
- Really frightening! I'm really scared!
- This makes you happy, doesn't it?
- You better lock me up, 'cause otherwise you're dead!
- You enjoy wearing that name tag, too?
- You're wasting your grip!
- Enough with this bullshit, po-po!
- Oh, you real tough bitches, huh?!
- You got a happy life for you, mister?
- Ah, give me a break, one-time!
- Whatever you say, Mr. J!
- I don't give a shit!
- Shit, I'm glad I don't pay no taxes!
- I'll tell you what, one time, shut your fucking mouth!
- Oh, you're big man!
- Just don't get no ideas with that nightstick!
- Please, dude, do what you want, but shut up!
- Whatever you say, po-po!
- Come here and say that, bitch!
- I'll rip your head off, you fuck!
Threatening someone with a gun
- Fat man's got a gun, bitch. (when he's fat)
- You want a hole in you? (when he's fat)
- Yeah, fat fool's packing, bitch! (when he's fat)
- Ain't that a surprise, I gotta gun!
- It's my constitutional right, bitch!
- Welcome to America!
- Sup now, baby?
- See? I gotta gun!
- You know what this is, huh?
- You lost the will to live, yet?
- Hey, what's cracking now?
- Oh shit, I got a gat.
- What's poppin' now?
- I'm a businessman, and this is my business!
- You want to get ventilated, huh?
- You want some lead in you?
- Do you want to look like Swiss cheese? (when he's fat)
- Hey, do you want a hole in your hair? (when he's fat)
- Oh yeah? That's right, I'm just a mark!
- Now don't be an idiot!
- I'm packing heat, fool!
- Yeah, what you gonna do now, huh?
- Hey, what were you saying?
- You think I'm just a fat buster!? (when he's fat)
- You better not calling me 'fat', fool. (when he's fat)
- I'm just a fat bitch, huh? (when he's fat)
- Oh, look. A gun.
- You want this to get real ugly?
- Stay cool.
- You're gonna stay cool, now.
- You happy now?
- You want me to shoot you as well?
- G's up, fool!
- I didn't forget how to bust!
- This is my business, playa!
- CJ run things now!
- What was you saying?
- You think I'm fat, huh? (when he's fat)
- Now you better shut up.
- You wanna get slapped!? (when he's fat)
- I'm fat, but I ain't slow! (when he's fat)
- You got a death wish!
- You want a hole in you?
- You want me to blast you!
- You enjoying yourself!
- Yeah, got a gun in your face huh!
- You wanna get shut up huh!
- You wanna get blasted fool!
- Yes a gun!
- You want this to get ugly?
- I'm yo bitch huh?
Running away from the police
One Star
- My Moms told me not to get into cars with strangers, dude!
- Come on, people are gonna think you're hard on me!
- Hey, I didn't do nothing!
- What are you trying to prove, one-time!?
- Dude, I'm innocent!
- You ain't gonna catch me, bitch!
- Okay, let's keep on running.
- Did you get bullied at school, officer!?
- You got issues, officer!
- Bully your wife, not me!
- You got big issues there, officer!
- You had fun back there?
- Grove Street is positive, dude!
- You look like a fool!
- You run like a bitch!
- I didn't do shit, man. Gimme a break! (there is an alternate version of this quote, but Carl says it louder.)
- Do we have to keep running?
- Can't you go chase somebody else?
- Ahh, stop treating me like a bitch!
- Does this really make you happy, officer!?
- Look, I can run ALL day!
- Why'd you bother to chase me? I'm faster than you!
- Do I dress like a gangbanger, sir!? (when he's rich)
- I'm a respectable businessman! (when he's rich)
- Oh, give up, copper! (when he's fat)
- Look man, I'm well dressed, but I ain't into dudes! (when he's rich)
- This will ruin your career! (when he's rich)
- To catch is me going to get real ugly for both of us! (when he's rich)
- Give up, you fucking chumps! (when he's rich)
- Officer, I do a lot of good in the community! (when he's rich)
- Come on, officer! (when he's rich)
- Your jealousy is pathetic, officer! (when he's rich)
- You should've finished college, dude, and got a real job! (when he's rich)
- I got an important job with waste disposal! (when he's rich)
- This is pathetic! (when he's rich)
- Officer, you really starting to annoy me! (when he's rich)
- C'mon man, cut that shit out! (when he's fat)
- Come on dude, give me a break! (when he's fat)
- You prejudicing against fat people, huh!? (when he's fat)
- I'm almost as fat and lazy as you, man! (when he's fat)
- I ain't running no more, copper. (when he's fat)
- I ain't big into this running shit, man! (when he's fat)
- This is one way to lose weight, I guess! (when he's fat)
- I ain't into this kind of exercise! (when he's fat)
- I ain't no athlete. (when he's fat)
- You're some kind of a fitness instructor? (when he's fat)
- Can't you go chase somebody else? (when he's fat)
- Do I look like I like running? (when he's fat)
- If you keep chasin' me, I'mma lose my cool. (when he's fat)
- You're gonna make me lose my temper, po-po. (when he's fat)
- I know I need more exercise, but not like this! (when he's fat)
- Make food, not war. That's my motto! (when he's fat)
- Dude, I ain't into this running shit! (when he's fat)
- I realize I didn't enjoy this. (when he's fat)
- Give up! Pretend I outran you!
- This is harassment!
- Hey man, you're creeping me out!
- You must be a punk at school, huh?
- Why are you chasing me? Your wife is lonely!
- I ain't into the dude thing, man!
- I'm in the Peace Corps, man!
- I ain't no gangbanger!
- I'm only running because you're chasing me!
- I ain't no banger!
- I'm innocent, po-po!
- Grove Street ain't a gang!
- Can't you chase a dude who wanna be chased?
- You getting bored of this?
- Is this your idea of fun?
- IS YOUR IDEA OF A GOOD TIME?!
- Come on dude, I'm innocent!
- I think you should go and see a shrink, officer!
Two-Six Stars
- I ain't yo bitch, officer!
- You dick!
- I think you should stop with that shit!
- Cop asshole!
- Bribe-taking assholes!
- Ain't no one pay your ass off yet, huh!?
- Bring it on!
- You ain't scaring me, and you ain't stopping me!
- I'd give up now if I was you!
- Bitches! (Carl says it once in a loud tone, and another in a more aggressive tone.)
- It's on now!
- Ain't you got nothing else to do!?
- Come on, tough guy!
- You punk-ass po-po bitches!
- This gonna get real nasty, fool!
- If I stop, you're dead!
- You're a dickhead!
- Get the army, I'm a fucking maniac!
- Idiots!
- You want me to stop, huh?
- You really want to fight me?!
- Make your life longer, stop running!
- Punk-ass busters!
- I ain't into this shit!
- You think I'm gonna give up?
- You got a job with a namebag fool!?
- I don't want a nightstick up the ass!
- You want me to stop, huh?
- You assholes!
- You clowns!
- You motherfuckers!
- Give up, motherfuckers!
- You think I'm a bitch, huh!?
- You're fucking with a maniac!
- You motherfucking fool!
- You want me?! Come get me!
- You should stop blasting on me, fool!
- Think about it! Stop running, fool!
- I'm down for this shit!
- Stay the fuck away from me!
- Gimme a break! (at a 2-3 star wanted level, Carl says it in an exhausting tone. At a 4 star wanted level or higher, he says it in a more aggressive tone.)
- Aye, go chase some other fool!
- You like wearing uniforms, huh?
- You really want this to get messy, huh?
- You really want me to stop and start shooting at you?
- Don't make me turn around, fool!
- Punks!
- Screw you!
- It's on now, bitches!
- You think you're hard, huh?
- Come on, then! Let's do this!
- Hey, this could get REAL ugly in a minute!
- I ain't backing down, bitch!
- I'm about to lose my temper!
- I ain't stopping, punk!
- You won't catch me, fool!
- Hey, this could get very ugly in a minute!
- You're really pissing me off!
- Keep on with this shit, you'll be sorry!
- You think you're hard, officer!
- You can't stop me, too!
Car-jacking
- Welcome to San Andreas, fool.
- Remember, heroes get killed.
- Partner, this is straight jacking!
- Shit fool, you just got jacked!
- Let me drive for you.
- Give me this fucking car!
- Would you want to be a victim of a car jacking? Or a homicide?
- I'm having that!
- It's a robbery, don't make it a murder!
- Out now!
- Ain't this what they mean by "carpool"?
- I need that shit you driving!
- What'd you expect? It's America.
- Don't make me freak on you!
- You gonna have to walk now, sucker!
- I realize this ain't cool but forgive me.
- I'm having this!
- Hey forgive me, I don't know no better.
- Grove Street's having your car!
- Hey act cool now, it's just a robbery.
- Out, playa!
- Gimme that fucking vehicle!
- Hey, act cool and you still can live, playa.
- You don't wanna die, do you?
- I'm a loser, so hate me!
- Get outta the ride!
- This is car-jacking, playa!
- Don't take this personal, but you getting jacked!
- Get out the car!
- Get outta here punk!
- I'm sorry I had difficult childhood!
- Roll up outta here. NOW!
- That's MINE!
- Be cool, it's just a jacking.
- Gimme your whip fool!
- You could run, or get a beatin'. Easy choice, huh?
- Don't blame me; blame society.
- C'mon tough guy, I need your car! (when he's fat)
- It's a just a little robbery...
- Don't sweat it. It's just a jacking.
- Get out, playa!
- Fat man needs your car. (when he's fat)
- Come on buddy, get out of the car!
- Fat Carl wants your ride, peewee! (when he's fat)
- I'm afraid the fat man needs your car. (when he's fat)
- Now act cool. Run away! (when he's fat)
- I'm fat, but I ain't useless. (when he's fat)
- Caught slipping again!
- Hey, get out the car gangster.
- Heroes get popped, move!
- Blame society man!
- Get out the vehicle!
- Fuck around and I'll murder you, punk!
- Police! Get out of the car! (cop uniform)
- I'm investigating a murder and I need your car, honest! (cop uniform)
- I need this, police business! (cop uniform)
- Come on lady, I'm an undercover! I need your car! (cop uniform)
- Come on, get outta there!
- You've been slipping again, huh?
- Get out of the car, bitch!
- Let's move on.
- Go on fool, out!
- Don't make me shoot you homie!
- I need that vehicle!
- OUT!
- Come on, you need to exercise more!
- Excuse me, sir!
- I need your car homie!
- Come on, get out the car.
- Play cool and you're gonna be fine.
- I need the wheels, amigo.
- I'm harder than you. Don't make me prove it! (when he's fat)
- Don't sweat it. It's just a car.
- I don't do nothing but rob fools like you!
- Hey, I'm sorry!
- Can I borrow your car, sir?
- You ain't been hurt yet, so be cool!
- Ohh, you got car-slipping again!
- Get the vehicle up, now!
- I'm having this car!
- Hey, I'm just a street criminal, what can I say?!
- Hey, I'll take that!
- I'm jacking your sorry ass, punk!
- What can I say? I'm a bad man!
- You got the car of my dreams!
- Hey, it's just a car man!
- I know this seems bad, but it could've been worse!
- Homie, this is straight jacking!
- Make a fool happy!
- I'm jacking your sorry-ass car!
- I need this, I'm sorry!
- Now run or you'll get hurt!
- Chill, I'm just taking your car!
- I'm liberating your car, fool!
- Get out, punk!
- It's only a car crime, fool.
- My bad, homie!
- You got carjacked, fool!
- We both still cool, so run away!
- You've been robbed, but you still breathing!
- Give me that!
- I'mma need to borrow your whip, man!
- America's a cold place, baby!
- I'll take that.
- Come on, partner!
- This is straight jacking!
- Now you can buy a new one!
- Out of the motherfucking whip, bitch!
- You gettin' jacked!
- Dude, give me that ride!
- I know jacking a bitch ain't cool, but I need this whip!
- Out, fool!
- Out the car, homie!
- Don't take this the wrong way.
- Yeah, you got jacked, but you still breathing. Get on!
- You don't look like you need this!
- I know I ain't exactly a gentleman! (when the victim's a woman)
- I'm having your ride, dear!
- Hey, I'm ashamed of myself, already!
- My need is greater than yours, pal!
- Out now! (when he's rich)
- This nothing personal, I'm just a criminal!
- C'mon lady! I need the car! (when the victim's a woman)
- Mess with me, and I'll put you in the ground! (when he's fat)
- You got grappled, not capped. Keep it like that! (when he's fat)
- I like opening doors for ladies. Get out! (when the victim's a woman)
- Lady, I'm very sorry about this! (when the victim's a woman)
- Give me that ride, lady! (when the victim's a woman)
- Hey, I'm always told to help a lady out of the car! (when the victim's a woman)
- Forgive me, lady! (when the victim's a woman)
- Lady, this is nothing personal. Keep it that way! (when the victim's a woman)
- Out, lady! (when the victim's a woman)
- Come on, lady, get lost! (when the victim's a woman)
- Move! A gorgeous lady like you need a better car than this! (when the victim's a woman)
- Don't look at me bitch, get out! (when the victim's a woman)
- I need your ride, lady! (when the victim's a woman)
- I know you're a woman but I'm desperate! (when the victim's a woman)
- I need that car, lady! (when the victim's a woman)
- Forgive me but this is urgent!
- Come on, I'm in a hurry!
- Hey, it's just a jacking, so be cool! (when he's fat)
- I'm too fat to walk anymore, punk! (when he's fat)
- Don't let your ego get in the way of your survival! (when he's fat)
- Don't make me kick your head in! (when he's fat)
- Lady, I'm sorry I'm fat and lazy. (when he's fat)
- I know this doesn't help, but my family is messed up. (when he's fat)
- I need you whip, fool. (when he's fat)
- Hey man, it's just a car. (when he's fat)
- Relax, lady! Your insurance will pay, and you ain't hurt! (when he's fat)
- It's an ugly car anyway!
- Get out, playa!
- I need that vehicle!
Stealing a bike
- Gimme that fucking bike!
- Damn, you fell off?
- Gravity's a bitch, huh?
- Ain't that a shame; you've been knocked out the game!
- You ain't gonna cry now are you?
- Off the bike!
- I'm having that bike!
- Go fuck yourself!
- What? You expecting an apology?
- The bike! NOW!
- Sorry, I'm a criminal.
- You got bike-jacked, fool!
- Get off that bike!
- I'm into jacking gang, baby!
- Now don't make this get really ugly.
- You just got jacked!
- I'm a bike thief, idiot!
- OFF!
- Don't mind me!
- Keep quiet and you won't get beat up over no bike.
- You want a beating as well?
- Gimme that bike!
- Now run or die, punk!
- Oops! Sorry about that.
- Don't make this worse for yourself!
- I'mma have to borrow this bike!
- I want your bike!
- I need your bike!
- It's nothing personal, I'm just a criminal!
- Sorry, but you're getting jacked!
- I'm having this bike!
- Shut up and get outta here! (when he's rich)
- You don't wanna die, do you?
- GET yo' ass outta here.
- Hey, I need that bike!
- At least you got jacked by a pro!
- It's a tough neighborhood!
- Give me that!
- Off the damn bike, fool!
- Get the fuck outta here!
- I need to borrow this bike bitch!
- Aw, what's wrong?
- Didn't somebody tell you bikes are dangerous?
- You okay? ...I hope not!
- Aww, you fell of your bike!
- Sorry about that. Now fuck off!
- Give me that bike and fuck off!
- Give me this, bitch!
- You just lost your bike!
- You wanna get FLATTENED!? (when he's fat)
- Gimme that bike, peewee! (when he's fat)
- At least I didn't break your neck! (when he's rich)
- Ooh, that look painful!
- YOU DON'T NEED THIS BIKE!
Crashing into another vehicle
- Did you buy your license?
- Inbreeding makes you dumb, huh?
- My car!
- Ah, well done!
- What kind of license you got?! A fishing license?!
- Whats your poison: grin or gin?
- You one serious fool!
- Ah, for fuck's sake!
- You buster!
- Thank you, you moron!
- My car! My fucking car!
- You have a bad week, huh? I'll make it worse, for that!
- I might be dressed okay, but I can still mess you up for that!
- Your mama must be proud of your driving, fool!
- You're out of your mind!
- Fuck, you hit me!
- Shit!
- Damn! My whip!
- Did you steal your license?!
- You hit me! I'mma hit you back!
- Idiot!
- Homie, I ain't enjoying this, neither would you!
- What in fuck's name are you doing?!
- My ride! Fool!
- Ah man, you went smashing up my whip!
- Ahhh, screw you!
- Look where you going!
- What you been drinking?!
- How you allowed to drive if you blind?!
- Ah! What you doing my wheels?
- Oh, you asshole! My shit!
- Can anybody in this state drive?!
- You even got a license, huh!?
- Oh homie, you're fucked up now!
- You've been drinking brake fluid!
- I ain't got time for this shit!
- Real slick, homie!
- You spend too long in the sun, moron!
- Ahhh G!
- I've seen some idiots in my time, but you're special!
- You a comedian asshole?!
- Ohh, shit!
- You hit my car, dumbass!
- Ah, this ain't exactly funny!
- You better apologize before I get out and hit you!
- You think that's funny?
- You laughing, bitch?!
- I ain't laughing, asshole!
- What you on, fool?!
- You're a complete fucking moron!
- Buster!
- Fantastic! You hit me!
- Argh, I might get ugly on your ass, playa!
- You're fucking with a psycho, bitch!
- Ah, thanks! I really needed you to drive into me!
- Well done. Brilliant driving!
- Motherfucking bitch!
- Asshole!
- My whip, asshole!
- Don't hit me again!
- Come on, asshole!
- Homie, you tryna fuck with me!?
- Ahh, you really trying my patience, man!
- You better be drunk!
- Motherfucker!
- You want me to smash you now?
- Thanks dude. Thanks a lot!
- You hit me!
- My whip!
- I'm straight mad now, fool!
- You know what I did to get this ride, homie!?
- I can't believe you hit me!
- Who let you out of the mental home?
- Ahh, my whip!
- Are you mentally fit to drive?!
- You better wake up in there!
- Ah, man, thanks for that!
- Fuck you, man!
- You better stop treating me like a bitch, bitch!
- I'm really losing my shit now!
- You hit me fool!
- Who let you drive!?
- You fool!
- Fool!
- You fucked my car up!
- Do I sound like I'm laughing, asshole?!
- What are you doing?!
- Don't hit my ride again, punk!
- Thanks!
- You ruined my look, friend!
- My wheels, fool!
- I'm not in the mood for your bullshit!
- What's your problem?
- You wrecked my shit!
- I can't believe this shit!
- Motherfucker!
- You punk-ass bitch!
- Punk-ass bitch motherfucker!
- Damn!
- You chump! You hit me!
- How did you not see my car!?
- What you want, fool?!
- You mark!
- Look out!
- Ooh, I owe you one now, homie!
- You're in bad luck! I'm in a shitty mood!
- Get off the road!
- You hit me, you fool!
- Thanks man! I appreciate that!
- I appreciate that. Thanks.
- Are you a professional moron? Or just a gifted amateur?
- Aw, I wanna immigrate from here!
- I'll break your neck for that!
- Man, we're gonna have some words about that!
- I'll smash you up for that!
- I'm gonna need you to apologize, bitch!
- What wonderful driving!
- Who let you out of the hospital!?
- You wanna fight, asshole?
- You smashed my car, fool!
- You hit me, asshole!
- You hit me, punk!
- Thanks homie!
- Ah man, how did you not see me!?
- Come on, asshole!
- Ah, fuck you too!
- Aw, man!
- Somebody gonna be mad at you for screwing up their ride.
- You out your mind, moron?!
- You trying to ruin my day, asshole?!
- Get out the way!
- My ride!
- Hey!
Falling from a building or airplane
- Oh shit!
- Damn!
- What the fuck!
- Bullshit!
- I don't need this shit!
- Oh motherfucker!
- I hate gravity!
- Shit, damn!
- Aaaah!
- Oh fuck, shit!
- Noooo!
- Aw hell naw!
- Oh no!
- Aaaah, no!
Being car-jacked
- Get those dirty hands off me! (when he's rich)
- I need to exercise anyway. (when he's fat)
- How the fuck can you pull me around? (when he's fat)
- Oh man, I hate walking! (when he's fat)
- You ain't having my ride! (when he's fat)
- You want a party, bitch!? (when he's rich)
- Nobody jacks big CJ! (when he's fat)
- You can't just car jack the fat man...! (when he's fat)
- Hands off, you little bastard! (when he's fat)
- Unhand my blubber, asshole! (when he's fat)
- Oh man, I can't walk for shit! (when he's fat)
- I do the jacking, I don't get jacked!
- I might look rich, but I ain't some fool! (when he's rich)
- Asshole!
- I invented that, motherfucker!
- Fool!
- Not me, you dumb!
- You're dead, motherfucker!
- Ah man, you're fucked up! (when he's rich)
- Ahh, you're such an asshole!
- It's on now, fool!
- Your life just took a very wrong turn.
- Hands off, punk!
- I like your style, heh, and you're gonna like mine when you see it.
- Hey!
- Not this crap again.
- Think you hard, huh, playa!? (when he's rich)
- No you don't!
- Ahh, very funny!
- You piece of shit!
- Bitch!
- NOT MY RIDE, PLAYA! (when he's rich)
- Oh, you think this is funny?
- GSF ain't your bitch!
- Unhand me, bitch!
- I need this car, man. I can hardly walk! (when he's fat)
- You ain't get away with this, fool!
- Not this car!
- Nobody does that to Grove Street!
- You're about to get dealt with!
- You can't jack me!
- Aw, what's wrong with this place?!
- Hey, you fool!
- What am I? Your step child!?
- I ain't your buster!
- Ah, come on man, that ain't cool!
- Hey, fuck off, now!
- I ain't your bitch!
- You moron!
- You can't jack a Grove Street!
- My car, fool!
- No you fucking don't!
- You gonna regret that!
- Oh, man!
- HEY!
- You gonna be put on the ground!
- Hey, get off!
- Okay! We got a problem here, playa! (when he's rich)
- A fool like you can't jack me!
- I've seen your face, sucker!
- I guess I deserved this.
- You dumb hog motherfucker!
- NOT THIS RIDE, PLAYA! (when he's rich)
- Hey, fuck off!
- Get that back, now!
- I ain't in the mood for this shit.
- I need this car!
- Get off me!
- You should've killed me!
- Incredible. A jacking with a deathwish!
- Ohh, think you can jack a playa, huh? (when he's rich)
- You gonna get messed up for that!
- No one jacks me!
- I can't believe you just did that!
- You asshole trick!
- Nobody jacks big daddy! (when he's fat)
- You little asshole! Pick on somebody thinner! (when he's fat)
- You!? Carjacking me!? (when he's fat)
- Who you think you messing with!?
- I ain't feeling this shit! (when he's fat)
- I'm too fat for this shit! (when he's fat)
- You little punk! (when he's fat)
- I don't wanna be another crime statistic!
- You motherfuck!
- Ahh, where the police when you need them?
- No no no!
- Get your lil punk-ass off me!
- Just because I look fine, I ain't a bitch! (when he's rich)
- You callin' me a buster, punk!?
- Hey, I invented that, fool!
- Don't rip the clothes, dude! (when he's rich)
- You're about to get whacked, playa!
- What the fuck are you doing!?
- Get off me, partner!
- Ah man, you picked the wrong man to jack!
- I do the jacking around here, bitch!
- Nobody jacks me, playa!
- Not now!
- You wanna get murdered, huh!?
- You think I'm a mark, mark!?
- Man, what you jack a Grove Street for?
- Do I look like a punk to you?
- Ah, real smart! Carjacking a psychopath!
- You gonna get slapped, fool!
- You got heart. No brain, though!
- Who do you think you're jacking, moron?!
- Oh playa, you picked the wrong one to jack!
- You shouldn't done that!
- Fucking chump, get off me!
- Not this playa, partner! (when he's rich)
- What you think this is, bitch?!
- You gonna regret that, dude. (when he's rich)
- That's a decent technique, bitch! But mine's better.
- Ah, man! You gotta be out your mind!
- Ahh, you just fucked up big time.
- You ain't having this whip, fool!
- Wrong option, pal!
- Get your fucking hands off!
- Get off my car!
- Nobody jacks CJ!
- Fuck you!
- Get your hands off me, buster!
- I'll kill you, you fuck!
- Get off me, mark!
- I ain't got time for this bullshit!
- You moron!
- You punk!
- I hope you do drugs, cause otherwise you're real dumb!
- No, you don't!
- You ain't getting my ride that easy, fool!
- Oh homeboy, I've had enough for this! (when he's rich)
- Do you know who I am, fool?!
- You can't jack me!
- Yeah, I appreciate that!
- What you think I am, huh!?
- Baby, you shouldn't done that! (when he's rich)
- Ah, you obviously don't know who I am!
- Oh, tough guy, huh?
- I must be slippin', get jacked by a buster like you!
- Do you know who I am!?
- What you think you're doing?
- We both know you're gonna regret this!
Fighting
- Make it easy on yourself and run away!
- Come on! Fight then!
- Come on! Punch!
- This gonna be easy bitch!
- Oh, you real hard huh?
- I warn you, I don't give a fuck!
- You got scraps huh?
- You got scraps huh bitch?
- You think you tough?
- Do you know who your fucking with?
- Head up, you and me!
- You're fucking with Carl Johnson! (when he has a 2-3 star wanted level)
- You know who you up against?
- You know who you messing with?
- It's your funeral asshole!
- You bitch!
- You should back down and run away!
- It's my constitutional right, bitch!
- You little punk!
- Run away fool!
- You gonna back down soon?
- Run away bitch!
- Hey, even my brother had already called me a buster!
- Come on! Show me what you got!
- Toe to Toe fool!
- Come on asshole, then fight!
- You just a bitch!
- You dead motherfucker!
- Come on, fool, run away.
- Nobody punches CJ!
- I'm your worst nightmare fool, so give up!
- You think you can take me on, you punk?
- Give up, homeboy.
- Let's do it, come on!
- Hey, I'm a positive role model!
- Oh, you think your hard?
- Don't hit me, I might cry.
- Okay, just try not to hurt me!
- Marquess of Queensberry rules only, baby.
- You calling CJ a bitch?
- You in a whole lot of trouble tough guy.
- Go on, run away homie.
- Let's go bitch.
- Trust me, I don't give a shit.
- Hit me then, homeboy.
- You're fucking with a maniac!
- Let's do it, come on.
- It's on now!
- Run away, save yourself!
- I'm a man of peace, baby!
- I'm trying to be a good person!
- You punk-ass bitch! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- I ain't your bitch! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- What you think this is, bitch?! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
- I'm a well dressed maniac, fool! (when he's rich)
- I ain't just some bitch you can slap about! (when he's rich)
- It's on now, you and me! (when he's rich)
- I may look good but I'm a maniac! (when he's rich)
- I'm rich and fucking crazy! (when he's rich)
- Just don't ruin my clothes! (when he's rich)
- I wear nice clothes but I'm a killer! (when he's rich)
- I'm well dressed but I still ain't a bitch! (when he's rich)
When he's fat
- I ain't a fat bitch, bitch!
- I'mma eat you, fool!
- You can't take CJ out!
- You lil bitch!
- I'm gonna flatten you, fucker!
- I'm big but I ain't slow!
- You got a problem with the big man, huh!?
- C'mon, fool, c'mon!
- I'll put you to sleep, punk!
- Who you callin' a fat slob?
- I'mma put you to sleep, punk!
- You got a problem with the big man, huh!
- I ain't just a fat slob, asshole!
- CJ, remember that name!
- You think you can deal with the fat man, huh!?
- I got weight on my side.
- Let's go!
- Stand still!
- Hey, it's muscle under this fat, punk!
- I'd rather do a drive-thru than a drive-by!
When he's robust
- I'm gangsta.
- I'm showstopper!
- I ain't called Mr. Muscle for nothin'.
- I'm big and fast.
- Who you callin' a bendico?
- You got a problem with Mr. Muscle Man, huh!
- I ain't takin' this shit fool!
- I got muscle on my side.
- Yo ass is a waste of time, fool!
Killing pedestrians
- Welcome to America!
- Yeah, I'll shoot you in your face!
- I'm a punk? Am I?
- Welcome to San Andreas!
- I don't give a fuck!
- I'm a lunatic, fool!
- I'm a well dressed maniac, fool!
- Just don't mess up my outfit!
- Bitches!
- Welcome to Ganton, fool!
- Bang, bang, bang!
- Asshole!
- You should of stayed at home.
- You tricks!
- Punk ass bitches!
- You mark!
- G.S.F. for life!
- Screw you, asshole!
- You should have stayed the fuck out of my way!
- Aw not everybody having a good time huh!
- Screw you!
- Do I look like a dumb fool!
- You think I'm a fool huh!
- It's on now fool!
- CJ and I don't give a fuck!
- You want to fuck with me huh!
- It's on!
- Fuck you!
- You really wanted this huh!
- CJ you remember that!
- You buster!wh
- Who'd you think you fucking with!
- You think I'm a punk huh!
- Nobody fucks with CJ!
- You wanna get dumped on huh!
- You dickhead!
- You wanna do this!
- You wanna fuck with me!
- Who you think I am fool!
- Yeah fool!
- I wonder why I left this place!
- You wanna get bucked on huh!
Picking up money
- Guess you won't be needing this now.
- This should help keep my belly full. (when he's fat)
- Lunch money. (when he's fat)
- I should spend this on a good meal. (when he's fat)
- You got anything else? (when he's fat)
- Gimme that Grip!
- Aww you so kind.
- Ah, look at all these papers!
- That's very kind of you.
- Thanks, bitch!
- Next time you should put it in the bank!
- I'll never turn down paper.
- I need this more than you, I think.
- You've got a problem, fool!
- Is that all you got?! Cheap fool!
- Give me them dollars!
- Come on, pay me! I'm a real criminal.
- I'll take that paper.
- That's going in my retirement fund!
- Is this for me?
- Gimme those chips!
- I need that!
- Yeah, them my ducats now.
- This ain't too classy.
- I like to share too, thank you.
- You don't need it, now.
- That's cool.
- That's my cash now, fool!
- Now don't move!
- Just a little money for CJ!
- Hey, pay a nigga!
- Send 'em ducats over here!
- Ah, you don't need it no more, huh!?
- With a mean bastard like you around here, crime really don't pay.
- Hey, gimme that paper!
- Hey, I'll have that now.
- Thanks!
- I guess it's true, you can't take it with you.
- Ah, thanks!
- Y'all don't need this no more!
- Can I have this?
- You don't need it now.
- This the best you got?
- Life's a bitch, huh?
- You don't need it no more, huh?
- Oh, you're too kind.
- It's going to a good cause. Me.
- Give me that!
- Gimme them ducats!
- That's GSF tax, fool.
- Share share like!
When the police are crashing into him
- I'm not laughing, cop asshole!
- You're fucking me off!
Complimenting an NPC after they praised his...
...apparel
- These clothes? Yeah, they're tight.
- Just some old kicks baby.
- Straight. Good looking.
- Thank you. I love these shoes, you know?
- Fo' sho, thanks.
- Yeah, they gangster ain't they?
- This how Grove street kick it.
- Thanks gangster.
- I'm glad you like it.
- They ain't nothing.
- I know these shoes are tight, huh?
- I'm dressed, but I'm still a G.
- Yeah, real nice, ain't they?
- Cool, I appreciate that.
- Yeah, these shoes are alright.
- Yeah cool, I take care of my feet, you know?
- Alright. Straight gangster. Know what I'm saying?
- My G'ed up apparel? Yeah, straight.
- Whatch you expect, huh?
...tattoos
- That's why I had them hit up on me.
- Pure gangster, homie.
- They just tat's fool. But I got the heart to back them up.
- Yeah pretty gangster ain't they.
- Yeah i hear you, cool.
- The tattoos? You like it? Cool.
- I know I love this work.
- The ink? It's a'ight, I know.
- The tattoo? You like it? Cool.
...haircut
- The fade? It's straight gangster.
- My cut? You real kind.
- This cut? Awe thanks.
- Awe, thanks G.
- Yeah, good lookin'.
...muscles
- Thanks, I've been lifting a lot of weights.
- Yeah, I've been lifting a lot, you know.
- I lift weights because I find life empty.
- Yeah. Cool. Fo' sho. Thank you.
- Yeah, I lift weights cuz I'm all empty inside.
- Awe, thanks.
- Straight.
- Yeah, I've been working out.
- Yeah, I've been down to gym a lot.
- Yeah, I've been wasting my life down the gym.
...hygiene
- Yeah, I've just takin' up washing, G.
- My smell? Cool.
- Yeah, my cologne is tight.
- My cologne, cool? Thank you.
...car
- My wheels? Yeah its pretty nice.
- My car? Thanks.
Negative remark to an NPC after they've criticized his looks
- Won't you shut your bitch mouth, punk!
- Won't you fuck off, punk!
- Go tell daddy, bitch!
- Yeah, and you just a punk ass bitch.
- ...And you're a fool, so we straight!
- My God, you're one ugly bitch!
- Go bounce on your daddy's knee, bitch.
- What are you, a trick or a ho?
- Lady, please! Go somewhere out of my sight!
- Yeah, but you're dating a ho, trick!
- Yeah? But I ain't never seen a talking horse before!
- At least kids don't cry when they see my face, bitch!
- What you doing walking around without a bag on your face!?
- Put on some make up, lady. A LOT of make up!
- Hey, somebody lost the dog?
- You ain't exactly slick, fool.
- Where your pimp, bitch?!
- I had a dog once that looked a lot like you.
- You're an ugly dude.
- And I don't wanna be like you, ugly and a punk.
- You're terrifying the children!
- Yeah, you're stupid and ugly, bitch!
- Yeah, at least my women don't look like no pig.
- At least I look like the right gender, bitch!
- You're scaring the kids!
- Heh, look at you. Real playa, huh?
- Lady, you should wear a bag over your head!
- Wow, a camel that speaks!
- No wonder you ain't got no man, bitch!
- Your parents must be ashamed of you, fool!
- You're disgrace, fool!
- You know what? Fuck you.
- You should wear a bag on your face!
- You're ruining the neighborhood! Get out of here!
- You gotta start looking after yourself better!
- No wonder you're all alone, bitch!
- You pathetic, bitch.
- Yeah? But you look like an asshole so we even.
- Ain't you got a hole to stick your head in?
- No wonder you're sad and lonely, woman.
- Yeah? And you're one ugly bitch.
- Hey, it's a zombie running about!
- Go crawl back under a rock!
- Wow, I just seen for myself ugliest woman in the world!
- Wow, horse that walks on two legs! (when he's fat)
- Shouldn't be you're on all fours? (when he's fat)
- Get some self-respect, woman!
- You're lame, little peewee! (when he's fat)
- Whatever you say, you sad bitch. (when he's fat)
- You're an eyesore, woman!
- Heh, you ain't exactly a playa.
- Shut up, you annoying asshole. (when he's fat)
- Look at you, little asshole. (when he's fat)
- You pathetic. Look at you!
- You should eat more, fool. (when he's fat)
- Shut your mouth and bang your mama. (when he's fat)
- Little peewee fool! (when he's fat)
- Hey, I eat fools like you. (when he's fat)
- Hey little man, go be little someplace else! (when he's fat)
- Yeah? I bet you still wet the bet. (when he's fat)
- You're incredible! ...Incredibly boring.
- Well why don't you go and join the line to bang your mama!
- Whatever, bitch!
- Lady, you crapping my style with your ugly face!
- Get lost lady, you got a few problems of your own!
- Get out of here, bitch!
- I ain't interested in your shit, bitch!
- That's amazing, a talking dog!
- Come here and say that, bitch!
- You talk well for somebody who's inbred!
- Shouldn't you wear a bell around your neck!?
- Give me some space, buster.
- Hey, I've seen harder-looking puddings than you!
- Yeah, you're ugly, but your personality is even worse!
- Mind your own fucking business, lady!
- Yeah, and your face needs plastic surgery, bitch!
- Ugly bitch!
- Leave me the hell alone, bitch!
- You chump, look at you!
- Shut your mouth, punk!
- Look at you, you're awful!
- Shut up, little bitch.
- You're an embarrassment, fool.
- You just a bitch!
- Like I give a fuck about what you think!
- Fuck you, buster!
- Yeah, me!? Look at you, pathetic bitch!
- Who the fuck you think you're talking to, bitch!?
- Fuck you, punk-ass bitch!
- Screw you, asshole!
- And you're such a nice woman, bitch!
Accepting a prostitute visit
- Moms, I'm so sorry about this.
- I thought you never asked!
- You read my mind, lady. Get in!
- Okay then, I like to party.
- You don't have no VD do you bitch?
- Sure baby, I like to party!
- Okay then, I'm gonna show you a good time.
- Oh, for sure, get in!
- Sure, I like to party, why not?
- Hey, as long as you're clean, I'm down.
- Yeah, I'd like a good time...
Rejecting a prostitute visit
- No thanks, I'm clean. I wanna keep it like that.
- Hey, a man's got a need, but I ain't that desperate!
- No thanks, I'm just gonna get another broken heart.
- You ain't my type. See, I like woman.
- No way.
- N-O! Now, can you spell?
- Look at me, look at you. No!
- Hey, I don't need to pay for a friendship.
- I ain't into animals, lady!
- Oh please, on another planet, girl.
- You can't afford me, girl!
- Me, pay you? Get the fuck outta here.
- You and me? No way.
- No way, ho.
- HELL NAW!
- You ain't quite my style, lady.
- I ain't into bestiality, woman.
- No, I like clean woman.
- Ah baby, I can do better than you. No offense.
- You gotta be kidding me!
- Get the fuck outta here!
- Hey, I'mma tryna cleaning my act up, lady.
- I ain't into animals, lady!
- Hey, I'll pay you to get lost. How's that?
- N-O.
Recruiting gang members
- They told me you was a buster, prove me wrong.
- I'm gonna put in some work, you down?
- You want to represent the set, homie?
- Homie, let's go roll down on some bustas.
- For the Grove dude, we're gonna put some work in.
- C'mon dude, roll wit' me.
- C'mon man, we're families.
- C'mon, Grove Street 4 Life dawg.
- Let's roll homie, Families.
- Families 4 Life homie, you down?
- Prove you ain't no Balla or no buster homie.
- You down bitch, or what?
Responding to enemy gang members' questions
Positively
- Yeah that's right homie.
- Yeah bitch, kiss my ass!
- Yeah punk. Why?
- Yeah punk ass bitch, for sure!
- Yeah sucker.
- Yeah now show me some respect bitch.
- I am hell for you homie. Families.
- Families, fool.
- The original hood motherfucker, Orange Grove.
- Orange Grove Street Families.
- Families. Orange Grove Families.
- OGS punk. Hear that?
- You ain't got it yet? OGS bitch!
- 4 Life, busta. 4 Life!
- OGS in the house bitch.
- OGS 4 Life bitch.
- Orange Grove 4 Life, motherfucker.
- The Grove, fool.
- The Grove, perpetrator. What'cha gonna do about it!?
- What's it to you, buster? The Grove.
- I'm from the Grove, homeboy.
Negatively
- No-uh.
- No, sir.
- Nah-uh. Nah.
- Chill, homie. I ain't into this shit.
- I ain't no gangbanger.
Winning at the casino
- YES! I won!
- Cee-Jayy!
- Show me some money!
- Look at me now!
- We shutting down Cluckin' Bells, tonight! (when he's fat)
- Look at me and weep, assholes. I won. (when he's fat)
- Look at me and weep! (when he's fat)
- I win!
- What a surprise, I won again. (when he's fat)
- Look at that, I won!
- Oh yeah!
- Give me some money!
- Ain't no stopping me now, suckers! (when he's rich)
- No stopping the playa! (when he's rich)
- Hell yeah!
- Look at that!
- CJ on fire! (when he's fat)
- Yeah, I can't wait to celebrate with a meal. (when he's fat)
- Big daddy wins again! (when he's fat)
- Look at that, I won!
- Carl Johnson, remember that.
- Pay the big man! (when he's fat)
- Now I can have a good meal! (when he's fat)
- My arteries are thick as my wallet, now! (when he's fat)
- Pay the gangsta!
- What's up, me!? I'm up!
Losing at the casino
- Fuck you and your casino!
- Well, look at that.
- Y'all cheating!
- Give a playa a break!
- What is this shit!?
- You're cheating! I know it!
- That's completely utter bullshit.
- What the fuck?
- Damn!
- I can't believe this, man!
- Damn you! (when he's fat)
- Come on, give me a break! (when he's rich)
- Oh shit, I lost. (when he's rich)
- Ohh shit, look at that! (when he's rich)
- This straight bullshit! (when he's rich)
- Hey, I'm a playa, not a paya! (when he's rich)
- Look at this bullshit!
- That's straight bullshit!
- Argh, look at that shit! (when he's fat)
- I'm so upset I gotta eat. (when he's fat)
- Oh shit, my breakfast money! (when he's fat)
- Oh damn, I lost my waffle money. (when he's fat)
- I can't believe that, I'mma have to eat to commiserate. (when he's fat)
Singing
- Warm it up Kane! Warm it up CJ! Warm it up Kane!
- Girl you dropped a bomb on me!
- Express yourself! Because I'm from Grove Street!
- Never gonna get it, never gonna get it, beyatch!
- Young hearts be free tonigh...! Aww, what was it...
- Rollercoaster...! Wahoo hoo hoo!
- Ain't nuttin but a G thang, bab-ay...
- Two loc'ed out niggas going crazy...
- Move your body, move your body...
- Take your time and let me love you good...
Police
Los Santos Police
- Nobody touches my mother. Not even my daddy.
- Nah, I prefer half and half to skimmed milk.
- Tell my wife I banged her sister.
- My squad car!
- I'm getting old here!
- I'm gonna fart if you don't move!
- You dick!
- You psychotic dick!
- I told him "Chill out", then I broke his arm.
- I'll take of this! Take care of my fish!
- LSPD, freeze!
- We should get bigger guns with bigger bullets!
- Police! Move!
- This is the police! Move!
- Nowhere to run ass-dick!
- LSPD! Stop!
- You! Stop!
- Don't move! Do not move!
- Come on, move!
- LSPD! STOP!
- You won’t run out on me son!
- He's getting away!
- Sarge, I said "I won't do it" and I got promoted.
- I can't believe you hit my car!
- You blind shitbag!
- Ah, my squad car!
- Awww, no...
- Duck! Get your heads down!
- Come on! Fight! Fight!
- I'm going in, I got a score to settle!
- Let me at the bastard!
- I'll get him, it'll be therapeutic.
- Hey, I've been sober for over a year!
- This guy's jerked me around for the LAST time.
- Target the bastard!
- You're busted, buddy!
- Come on pal! I got a wife and kids!
- Eat shit!
- You piss-stain! Stop!
- Give up bud! Stop!
- I got a clear shot on him!
- LSPD! Get out of the way!
- Move! I'm a damn cop!
- I’ve got the homeboy in my sight!
- My dad was a cop.
- I won't shower at the stationhouse.
- I'm gonna give you the nightstick for that!
- That psycho's shooting at us!
- Might as well draw bull’s-eye on your head boy !
- I'm gonna put you in a hospital pal!
- I'm just doing my job pal.
- Kill this asshole!
- Stop with the running, pal!
- You're mine, pal!
- Stop running you girl!
- Look at me pal; you're dead.
- You happy now, son?
- All right, all right you're coming with me!
- You're gonna shut up now asshole?
- You think you're smart, huh?
- Leave me alone!
- Don't make it harder than you have to stupid!
- Send reinforcements!
- Let's end your family tree right now!
- I ain't going solo with this maniac!
- Should've come quietly!
- You think you're a tough homie, huh?
- OK, I got you!
- You know your rights.
- You know the routine!
- Oh, you're one of them gangbangers huh?
- One move and i'll cap you right here!
- Stay down, asshole!
- Can't just one guy let me arrest 'em peacefully?
- Now freeze, you piece of shit!
- Don't even think about it!
- Don't move a muscle!
- Don't make this any worse for yourself, asshole!
- You! Stop it now!
- You're mine, buddy, mine!
- Don't annoy me again!
- Another crackhead for the cells!
- Careful now, you want PCP?
- Give me any trouble, i'll shoot you in the head!
- You wanna die?! You wanna die?!
- Now freeze, you piece of shit!
- You're not getting away, buddy!
- I oughta bitch slap you!
- HIT ME, GIRLIE!
- LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! (While in shootouts)
- Move and i'll murder you!
- Move and i'll shoot!
- Gotcha! Haha!
- You're under arrest, shithead!
- You have the right to remain silent, mister.
- Tired of all you shitheads!
- I think this is the start in the dry out period!
- You still think that was a good idea?
- Don't move!
- You're coming with me!
- I can kill you any time, I'm a cop!
- Remember, I call a backup!
- Come on, come on!
- This is the LSPD, stop!
- This guy's mine!
- Hey, stop!
- I'm gonna kick your ass!
- I'd kick you if my pants weren't so tight!
- Officer. I need a backup! (also cops say this quote, when CJ was seen in police impound garages)
- You're mine now, kid!
- End of the line, scumbag!
- End of the road, kid!
- I'm sick of doing this, i'm hungry!
- You're under arrest!
- Hands where I can see them!
- Hold it right there!
- You've gone too far this time, sonny!
- Hold it!
- Time to visit the big house!
- Get out!
- You got a problem with authority?
- I've been training for this all morning!
- Get your hands off me!
- Oh yeah? You'll love jail, it's dry!
- Look out!
- Oh great, jail, another booze-free zone.
- We all have the right to remain stupid.
- Easy boy, don't give any attitude!
- Don't worry, we all die at the end!
- Yeah, life is a bitch and then we die!
- Bring it on!
- Why don't you guys stop reproducing?!
- You don't wanna push me again!
- Watch it buddy!
- Okay, you know the drill!
- You are under arrest!
- Let's do this nice and easy, missy!
- Let's get this over with!
- Just let me arrest you.
- Put them where I can see them!
- Here we go again...
- Okay kid, fun's over!
- All right, spread them!
San Fierro Police
- Watch where you going!
- Sorry, my fault, entirely!
- Did you hurt yourself?
- Yeah, let’s connect!
- Did your mother drop you as a child?
- Hey, watch it!
- Hey, I just polished these shoes!
- When you see this badge, step the hell aside!
- Police, out of my way!
- Let’s see what you got, boy!
- Take it like a man!
- Bruise yourself for pain!
- When I kick your ass, I’m gonna fuck it!
- Careful, I know how to use this stick!
- Move it or loose it!
- I’m gonna take you down!
- First i'm gonna beat you up, then i’m gonna beat you off!
- Do you wanna bump up? Come on; Show me what you’re hiding down there!
- Stop, I can help with your anxiety!
- Man to man, like nature intended!
- Prepared for a beating!
- You wanna bump up, huh?
- I’m gonna violate your ass!
- Come on, pal, one fist or two?
- How can I help you? Please stop!
- I’m actually a social worker in a uniform!
- Let me help you, I’m a social worker!
- I can help you crying out with my help!
- Did your daddy kiss you?
- Fighting is never the answer!
- I just wanna know why you’re so unhappy!
- No problem, i can wait!
- Whenever you're ready!
- Take your time, no rush!
- Wait, bro!
- Come on, we can get on the bottom with this!
- Why you wanna hit me?
- Stop, we can hold hands and talk about it!
- The police are your friends!
- I’m licensed by the state!
- I'm a police officer, not a marathon runner!
- I'm too young for this shit!
- Hold it, I’m also a social worker!
- Slow down!
- Stop, you’re just troubled!
- This is one fast bastard!
- Didn’t your mommy love you?
- Come, let’s open a constructive dialogue!
- I feel your pain!
- You have a death wish, punk?
- Slow down!
- I can make this look like a suicide, you know?
- You’re leaving me no choice; I got to kick your ass!
- You can’t escape!
- This better not be a toy gun, cause i am shooting your ass!
- Your hands go up, we don't shoot!
- You ain’t losing me, asshole!
- I’m dragging your ass to jail!
- I’m right behind ya, buddy!
- I’m going to terminate this chase at any cost.
- I can cancel in your therapy on Thursday!
- Get away, the cops are after you!
- You're in my sights!
- I never miss, asshole!
- I never miss, twice!
- Careful, I heard Five-O is in the house!
- Carjacking is just a cry for help!
- By running away, you diss me!
- Therapy can turn you into a productive citizen!
- Inside every criminal is a scared little child!
- My wife puts up a better fight!
- Slow down, damn it! I just ate!
- Is something wrong? can I help?
- Glad you're not wasting any gas in the car!
- I love your not polluting escape method!
- My nickname on the force is Clean Harry!
- I'm sticking my pistol in your mouth!
- I smell the fear of a criminal!
- I’m on your ass, daisy!
- Come on, let’s talk about this!
- This badge does not break for no one!
- What will shooting me solve?
- Don't frighten him, come on we can help him!
- Attacking authority figure, I like it!
- You can’t escape!
- Hey, that's public property!
- Yeah crush that gas-guzzler, right on, smash that polluting vehicle!
- Did your parents ever crash your toy car?
- Smash the car, man, I hate America anyway!
- Hey, that's a legitimate expression of frustration!
- Those sneakers better not be from child labor!
- You see me coming, don’t ya?
- I’m on the edge, asshole!
- Hey! I'll book you for resisting arrest!
- You gotta be America's dumbest crook!
- Not on my watch, buddy! Not on my watch!
- You just crossed my thin blue line, asshole!
- I’m gonna slap you good!
- I got a good cellmate for you, he loves to cuddle!
- Get your bitch and switch!
- 10-15, prisoner in custody!
- Drop your pants, honey!
- Drop in the name of the law!
- You like guys in uniform or something?
- Wanna grab my pistol?
- Let’s wrestle to submission!
- Wrestle me, honey!
- Let’s hope we don’t have to hurt him!
- You have the right to remain gorgeous!
- Gotcha, honey!
- I am taking you down, sugar!
- You won't lose me, honeybunch!
- You wanted to be caught!
- You're going down, handsome!
- Let me tell you my hourly therapy rate.
- Whoo, check his weapon!
- About time, you son of a bitch!
- Don’t move a muscle!
- I got you punk, stay down!
- What are you doing?
- You’re going downtown!
- My ex-wife drives better than that!
- What the hell are you doing?
- You better pay a price for that!
- Son-of-a-bitch!
- Hey!
- Tell me about your childhood.
- I could read you your rights, but why bother?
- Assume the position, honey!
- Say hi to Virgil in cellblock D!
- Let me see that smirk now, cowboy!
- You have the right to remain silent!
- You have the right to talk to a therapist!
- We can work out therapy schedules later!
- Thought you can get away with breaking the law?
- I got you, son of a bitch!
- You're going straight to the station, asshole!
- We're gonna have so much fun with you at the station!
- You know what I can do with my baton?
- You were a handful!
- Sucks you got caught, San Andreas prisons are a travesty!
- Promise you'll call me if you feel suicidal!
- Fight the power, comrade!
- You're going down.
- You weren't gonna get away!
- Violence only breeds more violence!
- Not so cocky now!
- Take a rest, flyboy!
- Did your parents fight a lot?
- I'll bust you out at midnight, comrade!
- This must be so hard for you!
- Something's going right! For once...
- You know your rights! Right?
- At last I got you, you shit!
- You got prison bitch written all over you!
- You're busted, sucker!
- Get down and stay down!
- At least you didn't get away from me!
- You're busted, asshole!
- Well hot dog, I got him!
Las Venturas Police
- Kicking names and taking ass! Oh wait.
- If I die, tell my wife she's a bitch!
- If I don't survive, tell my wife she's a bitch.
- You're under arrest asshole!
- Fun's over, buddy!
- You ain't so tough now, huh?
- Pull the trigger pussy!
- I serve my community by kicking ass!
- YOU MOVE IN! I have kids!
- There's no cameras around to catch this beating.
- Wake up chickenshit!
- Look at this lucky ass!
- Move your vehicle!
- Get out of the way!
- You're gonna have to move!
- Move, police!
- 'scuse me!
- MOVE!
- Come on! Move!
- Hey, this is official police business!
- Hey!
- You're wrong, I'm right. I'm the cop!
- Go ahead; you don't have the balls!
- You wanna play rough?
- HEY! BEAT IT!
- I got the visual on the suspect!
- Some guy's fooling around with my wife.
- She's a goddamn cheating wife.
- Goodbye Angela!
- My beautiful squad car!
- That guy's trying to kill me!
- He's trying to kill us!
- Your head's gonna get busted for this!
- Come on tough guy!
- That's it buddy, you're dead!
- Come on! There's cops everywhere!
- GO!! GO!! We got this kid!
- You think you could get away from me?!
- Show's over buddy, give up!
- You are surrounded! Give up!
- You've been messing with the wrong cop!
- Just try punk, just try it.
- You're about to be in a world of pain, boy!
- You little asshole!
- I got a 11-54 in front of me!
- One false twitch and you're a 99A!
- You lose your glasses?
- You see this badge?
- Damn it! I need some help!
- Great, now you're making me run?
- You think I need some evidence?
- I got a plan, cover me!
- Ow! My coffee!
- My car is signing your death warrant!
- I'm a cop you asshole!
- Cop killer!
- Don't be a hero Martinez, stay down!
- What the hell?!
- 11-82 in progress!
- You can't hit a police car!
- Psycho at the wheel!
- INCOMING!!
- You think I'm the good guy? I'm the bad guy!
- Nice work kid!
- Eff you this is a police car!
- San Fierro needs more guys like you.
- Don't expect a reward, kid!
- Hey! Look over there!
- Hey! Look behind you!
- MOVE IN!
- What's this wise ass trying to do?
- This little chase is making me angry!
- We're all over like stink in shit!
- Smile you son of a bitch!
- You're MINE!
- Don't move a goddamn muscle chump!
- You're going down asshole!
- You're gonna have a whole lotta fun inside, pal!
- Hey, we're blocked in here!
- YOU!! MOVE!
- You're pushing your luck.
- Have a look at your heart while it's still beating!
- Get down, GET DOWN!
- Feel like committing suicide by cop?
- Gimme some help over here!
- I don't believe this guy!
- Eat the concrete, punk!
- 10-15, prisoner in custody!
- He's down!
- AWWW!
- Hey watch it!
- I'm gonna enjoy this!
- Don't lean on me, I lean on you.
- OK, we'll settle this the hard way.
- You looking for a attitude ajustment shitsmere?
- I don't know anybody called Miranda!?
- Let's settle this!
- I'd wish I shot ya!
- Just try it!
- Just try punk, just try it!
- Put the damn gun now son!
- You won't get away from me!
- You're trapped!
- Looks like we got the last lap boy!
- We're gonna blow your legs!
- Time for a screen test, asslip!
- Anything you say, you better talk!
- This makes my whole day worthwhile.
- You're gonna die!
- You will regret that!
- Where do you think you're going?
- PIECE OF SHIT!
- Damn it, shithead!
- Suspect is under control!
- Shithead!
- This ain't a good day for you!
- Thats it!!!
- MOFO!
- Nice try dickface!
- Yeah, yeah!
- Give it to me baby! Give it to me!
- Choke on this asshole!
- Never arrested a corpse before!
- I oughta pop you right now!
- Anymore of your bullshit and i'll blow you away!
- Cuff and stuff this malabastard!
- You could have been killed!
- I'm immortal!
- I spy with my little eye!
- I'm in pursuit!
- You're going down pal!
- Mano a mano, you're surrounded!
- Dog turd!
- Don't move, Adam Henry!
- Five arrests today and you're number six!
- Don't move a Goddamn muscle!
- MOVE IT WISE ASS!
- Hey fender lizard, move it!
- I got him spotted! I got him spotted!
- Cover my ass goddammit!
- WHOA! Man down! Man down!
- Freeze, douchewipe!
- Much obliged, citizen.
- Suicide by cop? Is that what you're over?
- God if I lost him...
- I need backup!
- I need backup to establish a perimeter!
- Surrender!
- Let's make this a D.R.T: dead right there!
- Let's go boys!
- Your luck just ran out!
- You've just met the Ventura crime dog!
- End of the line, punk!
- You're going away for a while!
- It's over, you chump!
- Pull over, you freak!
- Party time's over, buddy!
- I'm on your ass, boy!
- We're gonna have some fun with you, boy!
- You're in my world now!
- You're under arrest, buddy!
- Stay down, gangbanger!
- Where did you take your first shower?
- Nowhere to run!
- You're going down, punk!
- Up against the wall, punk!
Countryside Police
- Police, move!
- Excuse me, please!
- Out of the way!
- Don’t you push me there!
- Take the boat out fishing this weekend.
- Pardon me!
- Get back here!
- Come back here, you’re under arrest!
- Stop running away, boy!
- I will kill you, boy!
- My daddy told me about guys like you!
- You’re getting yourself in a whole heap of shit!
- You think I didn’t kill bigger bands than you, pal?
- I’m a racist, boy!
- The judge's gonna strangle you up!
- You have violated a number of laws!
- Don't move an inch!
- Don't even think about it!
- Drop your weapons now!
- Don't even think about it, boy!
- Stop right there!
- Freeze, you're under arrest!
- Freeze, boy!
- Give up, boy!
- You don’t hit cops in my town, boy!
- You're lucky I didn't kill ya yet, boy!
- Freeze right there!
- It's a night in jail for you!
- Freeze, dirtbag!
- After I'm done, you wish you was dead!
- I’m gonna mess you up, boy!
- Hands up where I can see 'em!
- Don't struggle, we got you now!
- Out of your little mind, boy!
- Time for a visit to the station!
- Gonna lock you away from decent folks!
- Stop now!
- Where your big city ways now boy?
- We've got different laws out here for you, boy!
- Ain't nobody know your here, son!
- You have the right to shut the hell up!
- Everything by the book!
- I can hardly wait to put you in!
- You await your death, boy!
- You're a long way from home, boy!
- Get out now, you're under arrest!
- Think you can mess with the country, boy?
- That's beyond a misdemeanour boy!
- I see you, boy!
- You're officially under arrest!
- You're gonna be real sorry, son!
- You think you’re tough now, boy?
- Your ass is mine, son!
- You are under arrest!
- You disgust me!
- I’m on to kill you!
- Think you can mess with the country boy?
- Hey, dumb bastard, look at me!
- You should play nice, boy!
- Right in my sights!
- I’m gonna put my pistol in your mouth!
- Yeah, boy, happy now?
- Put your hands behind your head!
- Fella, you picked the wrong county.
- You're under arrest, boy!
- Stand still, you!
Police boat
- This is the coastguard, stop your vessel!
- Please stop, and we'll board your vessel!
- Stop your vessel, tough guy!
- Vessel, this is the San Andreas Coastguard - Why do you want attention?
- Vessel, why do you want attention?
- You, stop your fucking boat!
- Stop that boat now!
- We want to intercept your vessel; stop!
- Stop!
- You, stop your vessel now!
- Just stop, wise guy, before we blow a hole in you!
- You're gonna need to stop, now!
- Stop, or we'll open fire on your vessel!
- This is the coastguard - stop your vessel!
- Hey, you, this is the Coastguard, stop right now!
- You in that boat, stop - now!
- This is the Coastguard - we need to talk!
- You're getting yourself in whole heap of shit, boy!
- This is the San Andreas Coastguard - we need you to stop, right now!
- You think we can't see you, dipshit!? Stop your vessel!
- Hey guy, I'm gonna make this prick stop - you stop!
- Hey you, stop right now!
- This is the Coastguard, asshole, stop, or we will kill you!
- We want to make a maritime intercept, stop!
- Declare your attention, or we'll put a hole in your vessel!
- Tough guy, this is the coastguard - fun's over!
- Stop! This guy is really annoying me! Stop, you turd!
- Asshole, stop, or you get suck!
- Hey you, this is the coastguard, stop!
- There he is! There he is! You, stop!
- I see him, he's trying to swim away!
- You, get outta there right now!
- Where you gonna swim to, tough guy?
- You really want to drown, huh?
- We've got a suspect in the water. Repeat: A man in the water!
- We’ve got a man overboard!
- We've got a suspect trying to swim away!
- There is someone in the water! Over there! We see you, moron!
- You can't escape!
- He tries to swim away!
- There he is, in the water!
- We’ve got a suspect in the water!
- Prison ain't so bad, fool, get out of the water!
- We got a man overboard! A man overboard!
- Oh, you think you're a fish now, huh?
- Someone taught you to swim, huh?
- I thought you couldn't swim?
- There he is! In the fucking water!
- Get out of the fucking water, right now!
- Suspect overboard!
- Where you gonna swim to?
- Let's let that asshole drown!
- Give up, you dumb moron!
- Get out of the water - you can't escape!
- Come on, get outta here, asshole!
- You ain't going nowhere, we got the highest sky on you!
Police helicopter
Like in Grand Theft Auto III, the pilots can get into arguments over the microphone.
- We've got a clear vision on our suspect and we’re about to open fire.
- Co-Pilot: I see her, SHE'S beautiful!
- Pilot: HE'S over there!! He's A GUY!!
- Co-Pilot: Hey, when I kill him, do I get a medal?
- Pilot: You get two!
- We've got a clear shot on the suspect. You, STOP RIGHT NOW!
- Suspect is about to be apprehended with extreme force.
- This is aerial support - the suspect is about to get terminated.
- You’re going down, hard man, right now!
- Give up, the game’s up.
- You think you’re hard, huh, asshole!
- We’re the police, you moron, we’ve got helicopters!
- This is aerial support - we’ve got a clear vision on our Suspect.
- Put your hands up, it’s over!
- Pilot: There he is, shoot him!
- Co-Pilot: Why do I have to do all of the shooting?!
- Pilot: Because I'm a pacifist! Kill him!
- Suspect is trying to escape - we have to soon stop that.
- We had a headshot on you, tough guy. Stop!
- This is aerial support - we’re about to neutralize all visible threats.
- Co-Pilot: Hey, I can see my house from here-
- Pilot: Dave, will you shut the hell up!
- You, stop!
- Ho...hol...hol...hold this thing steady and I'll shoot him in the head!
- You’re in trouble now, bad boy.
- This is chopper support - suspect is in sight.
- This is heli support - I’m gonna put the suspect down!
- This party is gonna be shot down!
- You’re mine, tough guy!
- You! Stop, or we will kill you!
- We are the good guys, you little chump!
- Pilot: Shoot that asshole!
- Co-Pilot: I’m trying, I’m trying!
- Co-Pilot: You, stop!
- Pilot: Just kill him, you pussy!
- Suspect is escaping, repeat: Escaping!
- You can’t escaping, asshole!
- Pilot: Stop! Police!
- Co-Pilot: I think he knows that by now!
- You! Stop running! Now!
- It’s time to shut you up, asshole!
- Pilot: Playtime is over, kid!
- Co-Pilot: Oh, you’re so dominating!
- Pilot: Jim, do you see anything?
- Co-Pilot: Higher! Shoot him!
- Co-Pilot: Where is he?
- Pilot: Over there, you dick, kill him!
- You’re going to respect the law, pal!
- Hey, stop, or we will kill you!
- We’ve got a clear sighting on our suspect!
- We can fill this guy full of holes!
- Pilot: You can stop running now, suspect!
- Co-Pilot: Oh, you’re so really butch!
- Pilot: Man, stop photographing those women and shoot the bastard!.
- Co-Pilot: Hey, shut up!
- Co-Pilot: I'm gonna kill this guy!
- Pilot: Make sure it's the right guy this time!
- Stop!
Motorcycle police
- Don’t make this a 998!
- I'm going to call the police! I believe in sharing.
- You have a last request?
- You are going down!
- I’m ready when you are, pussy!
- I’m gonna get that bastard!
- Bring it on!
- You wanna fight a cop?
- He's my color, back off!
- No need for backup, boys!
- Officer, requesting backup!
- Easy there!
- I need backup here!
- Hey!
- Let’s see what you got!
- Careful, partner!
- Where'd you learn to throw a punch?
- This one’s mine!
- I’m going after it!
- I’m gonna hum with you!
- Ah, you want some of this?
- I wanna be alone with my bitch!
- It's county blues for you, chump!
- I'm going hunting, alone!
- Hands behind your back, son!
- Tell it to the judge, homeboy!
- You're going to jail, mack-daddy!
- I'm gonna kick your mack-daddy ass!
- Stay out of insurance, bitch!
- You're coming downtown!
- I'm sure you already know this feel!
- This can go one of two ways!
- Start naming names, asshole!
- Tell it to the judge, playa!
- Time for good old-fashioned police brutality!
- I'm taking you in!
- You people never learn!
- Mr. Johnson, you are under arrest!
- We've got ourselves a Johnson kid!
- We got you now, CJ!
- Keep quiet and come with me!
- You're going down, my man!
- You're the rabbit in the hole!
- Give it up, CJ!
- Save the energy for the prison, you'll need it!
S.W.A.T
- I'm gonna take you out asshole!!
- You're gonna die!!!
- You yellow bastards! Stop
- YOU PIECE OF SHIT! GET BACK HERE!
- Take him down once and for all!!
- Holy shit!! Get down!!
- Move in move in move in!!
- Look out below!!!
- Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
- I ain't walking away from this shithead!
- You're gonna die asshole!
- Return fire! I'm going in!
- Eat dirt!
- I hate this bit.
- Comin' in hot!
- S.W.A.T team coming in!
- We're all over your ass homeboy!
- I'm gonna drop him!
- Mother: I love you!
- Incoming fire!!
- Stop! Stop! You shit!
- Watch out below!!
- Aw shit! I'm stuck!
- Target spotted: Get down here boys!
- Get your weapons down before this gets worse!
FBI
Army
- KILL EVERYTHING!
- Mano a mano!
- Two by two!
- Come to daddy!
- Blow him away!
- KILL THAT IDIOT!
- I'M GONNA FUCKING TEAR YOU APART!
- Watch yourself!
- You went personal, huh?
- One and one, ha!
- Oh no you don't!
- Advance!
- Go, go, go!
- Get out!
- Why am I so jumpy?
- Man, I'm getting the heebie-jeebies.
- WE HAVE WOUNDED!
- Where's that menace?!
- Chew him up!
- FIRE AT WILL!
- Cut her down!
- TAKE HIM OUT!
- NEUTRALIZE THE TARGET!
- Let her rip!
- INTRUDER!
Gangs
Grove Street Families
- Come on Carl, relax!
- Aw shit! The car's on fire!
- Time for no kicks, Carl!
- What's with that motherfucking hooptie Carl?
- That clothes is not gangsta, Carl.
- You deaf or something Carl?
- Hey CJ man, I like the threads.
- Los Santos is cold in a motherfucker!
- Oh we upside-down now, bitch-ass!
- Family violence, yeah!
- Kick back Carl, damn!
- Bang bang ballsack, how do you like that?!
- See you round, homie.
- Still banging dude! Still bangin'!
- Take that, ballsack!
- Who's the bitch now homie?
- Oh that shit is whack, homie!
- You never seen no gangsta?
- Guh...thanks man...! (coughs)
- These kicks insult me personally.
- Ass touchers can't see us!
- I ain't drinking that bullshit!
- Where's that ho ass sister of mine?
- We families positively sir! We just protecting the hooood, officer!
- Screw you vagina holes!
- Sherm is my ho-MAY!!
- CJ I'll jack you a better car!
- Get these bizzals in yo jizzals!
- Any of y'all seen sheefa?
- Come on CJ, why you doing that?
- Is this a Balla bar?
- What is going on man? Move out of the way!
- Hey, watch it homie!
- Hey playboy, watch that!
- Hey CJ! What'cha doing?!
- They are all mine!!
- Where did you get your license from?
- I can't go back to jail!
- You must be smokin'!
- My grandmama drive faster than that!
- CJ you're a maniac, man!
- It's on motherfuckers!
- Hey man! Who did that to your hair?
- Why do you do that shit?
- Bangin' and more bangin'. Bang, bang!
- You need to kick your barber's ass!
- Aw no no no! Damn! Look what you did to my ride!
- Hey man! Watch it!!
- I ain't scared of you! Don't let me get mad, officer!
- You are IGNORANT!
- Hey baby! Right over here, baby!
- Don't be eyeballin' me fool!
- Florida fucker!
- I'll kick yo ass man!
- You gone to tear da car up!
- Who taught you how to drive?
- That car is do-do!
- Hey yo hair is whack!
- Hey man! Look at me when you die!
- I'm a maniac! I can't be stopped!
- Hey man, pass the blunt!
- What up boy?
- Ryder was right about you CJ!
- I want the best CJ!
- Grove Street OG coming through!
- Can I get my drink on?
- Man, how come you can't see me?
- Wait a second!
- CJ, who's been drawing on you?
- Am I invisible over here?
- Shit! I'm suckin' a roach!
- My motherfucking car, look at it!!
- You hit me fool!!
- Aw man, my shit!
- Aw you hit me! You motherfucking fool!
- You're in dog shit man, I don't give a shit!
- Bay-sucking fools!
- South-side fools!
- Suck on my 9, Ballas!
- I want the best motherfucker.
- What is this shit you're drinking? Not exactly premium liquor it is.
- Keep up your speed, CJ!
- Aw man, we're on fire!
- Aw man, we're stuck in the burning bucket! Oh shit!
- Fool! You hit them! Look out!
- CJ nooooooo!!!
- Now we're rolling CJ!
- Kilo Tray's lookin' for trouble.
- A Johnson boy in a hooptie? A fat bastard!
- Hey nice ride CJ!
- Hey man, respect the ink dude!
- Slammin' ride CJ!
- Looking popped holmes!
- Trippin' cartoons CJ!
- Aw man!! You asshole!
- Dumbass car!
- Aw man! Shit, it's all broke!
- Aw man, this is good weed.
- CJ, you're ruining my buzz here.
- You've been messin' with the Grove!
- We need a car!
- Yo we got enough CJ!
- Hey! Chill, motherfucker!
- Get your fucking hands off me!
- Oh man! That fucker's in my car!
- That's my brother's ride!
- No man, got better shit to do.
- I was just complimenting CJ!
- Man that ain't cool!
- What's up holmes?
- Man! Life is beautiful!
- Northsides go home!
- Who rolled this piece of shit man?!
- You tryin' to kidnap me fool?!
When Carl drives fast
- Shit! Slow down homie!
- Slow your row CJ!
- Slow down, for goodness sake!
When Carl drives recklessly/crashes the car
- Glad it ain't my ride.
- CJ, I warned you!
- You can't drive for shit!
- Shit, you drive like a motherfucker!
- Open your eyes, CJ!
- CJ, you drive like a bitch.
Fighting
- Ball-ass bitches!
- Bitch-ass lowlife, Ballas!
- We gotta spray these Balla fools!
- You're going down Balla bitch!
- You want some of this bitches?!
- Varrios goats!
- ASS-tecas have been lying down!
- Ballas gonna cry to moms!
- Vagos eat my shit!
- VLA are gonna bleed!
- Die VLAs!
- Die LSVs!
- Vagos die!
- LSVs die!
- LSV killa!
- VLA killa!
- Vagos vamoose!
- Vagos eat shit!
- Death to Varrios!
- Death to Aztecas!
- VLA are gonna fade, man!
- Go back to your ugly Varrios!
- Vagos can't see me!
- Those aztecs fools.
- Hey Aztecas!
- Come on Ballas, let's go!
- Vato fools!
- Those Aztecas are all mine!
- Take that ya LSV bitch!
- Az-dicks!
- Hey Ballas! What's up now?
- Ball-LESS!
- I'm not scared of no ASS-lickers!
- Hey Ballas cocksucka!
- Cover me!
- Duck homie!
- Heads down! Duck!
When CJ activates flying cars cheat with GSF members.
- WOOO!! Now we're movin'!
- WOOO!! We're flyin'!
- Aw shit, I ain't got no wings CJ! This car is flying!
- We're upside-down!
Ballas
- I'll shoot everybody in this bitch!
- Hey you better be watching yourself fool!
- Can't anybody ride like us?
- Hey dude don't bang, he perpetrate!
- Hey man cover my back!
- Don't make me get out of this car!
- Man, I break no rule!
- Aw shit!
- Watch it fool!
- Don't roll to my hood! You know nobody rolls in my hood!
- Everybody duck down!
- Hey the season is over now!
- Hey the game is over now busta!
- Hey baby! Hey baby!
- Hey man, don't look at me like that!
- Oh you just gonna do it like that huh?
- Hey get your hands off me!
- Hey man, back off me fool!
- I was straight down fool!
- I'm a catch you fool!
- Hey car-jack mart! Hit the bitch!
- Hey, let's frush these busters!
- Why you gotta do that?
- Say man, gimme all your moonlight now!
- Get down man I see you. You can run but you can't hide!
- Man, fuck that bitch warren!
- Hey it's on now!
- Hey good looking man!
- Hey taxi! Slow up fool!
- Hey taxi! I need some love!
- Hey man this is a B-ride, you got a ticket?
- You need to take that back on the other side now!
- We is law abiding citizens!
- Another wasted fool.
- Damn C.R.A.S.H. always around the hood.
- Give me some real shit man. What's happening man?
- You're too close. Give me 5 feet man.
- I'm big when I'm sitting on my wallet.
- OG coming through, OG coming through!
- Kick rocks, punk bitch.
Fighting/Shooting
- Don't let my stature fool you!
- Get some you young trick!
- Big balls is bad for your health!
- There he is! Get him!
- Imma tear you up!
- Catch his ass Ballas!
- There he is! There he is!!
- His tyres! Shoot his tyres!!
- Fuck this shit, I'm a hero around this motherfucker!
- Imma be a hero on this one, dog!
- Watch out. Imma be the hero today!
- I'm going in!
- Everybody move in!
- Hey yo, stop that fool!
- Move forward, Ballas. Move forward!
- We'll beat you with a few more!
- Man, got a chicken up his ass!
- Represent yourself chickenboy!
- Cover me homie, I'm going in!
- Somebody trip that motherfucker!
- I've got them pinned down!
- Imma rush in now, I've got this little bitch!
- That's him right there!
- I told you Grove Street was busters!
- Run, motherfucker, Run!
- Get back here and fight, bitch!
- Show me that you're a man!
- Blast 'em Grove Street punks!
- What's up, Grove Street!?
- That's Grove Street over there! Catch him!
- I've got this mark, don't worry about it.
- Slow down.
- He can't move.
- Hey where you going? I wanna be friends!
- Hey where you going? Come back here!
- Put some cover on me. Watch my back!
- Come back here you lil' buster!
- I love my hood!
- Got this fool covered. Go ahead rush in!
- Roll him up. I've got your back.
- I've got you back. I'm dumpin' on this fool!
- Ballas will get you!
- Ballas and Grove. Let's go at it!
- Cover my ass! Get that motherfucker!
- Step on up, motherfucker!
- Beat it!
- Screw you!
- Say bye-bye to your teeth!
- Kill yo ass!
- Imma remove your ugly face, fool!
- This is how I use to beat yo' mama!
- Put 'em up. Put 'em up!
- I'm gonna tank 'em!
- I'm a motherfucking Balla OG!
- Take that huh! Motherfucker!
- You hit like a girl nigga. I thought you had something!
- Bring it on, dickweed!
- Did you like your face?
- Fool, you going home in a pinebox.
- These youngsters think they tough!
- You can't fade no Balla OG.
- Can't hurt me, i'm a real Balla.
Seeing CJ on their turf
- Grove Street Families suck ass!
- Grove Street mamas suck my dick!
- Grove wear snitch jacket!
- Suck my dick Grove bitch!
- Grove Street are slippin' man!
- Look at those Grove Street fools!
Asking CJ
- Hey, transformer?
- State your clique!
- What's your team?
- What's your colors?
- Where's your flag, man?
- You got a clique?
- You from around here?
- Step up, lil' g?
- Who you claimin'?
- Who you kicked for?
- Who you down with?
- You bangin' fool?
- Where you from, homie?
- Where you from, fool?
- Where you from, punk?
- Where you from? Speak up!
- Where you from? We're killers over here.
- Where you from and be careful what you say!
- What's your gang, homie?
- Which set you claiming?
- Which set you claiming, youngster?
- Which set you from, fool?
- Which hood you representing?
- Oh you're from the backside?
- You know, I've never seen you before?
- Do I know you from somewhere, homeboy?
- Hey fool, you bangin'?
- Hey fool, do you gangbang or what?
- Hey fool, where you from?
- Hey witty, you bangin'?
- Hey homie, where you from?
- Hey hardman, where you from?
- You look like a gangbanger homie?
- It looked like you're bangin' to me?
- I'm an OG Balla cuck?
- I'm a Balla homie. Are you?
- Hey man, we victorious!
- What hood you ridin' for killah?
- Say man, what hood you're from?
- We're the notorious Ballas fool?
- Yeah Balla 4 Life. What about you?
- You're on the wrong side, homeboy?
- Wrong color, wrong block?
- Wrong hood?
San Fierro Triads
- Fuckhead!
- Muttonchops!
- So Sorry.
- Hey!
- Don't get too close to big money.
- Get away from me.
Driving
- Do we have to torture you?
- Did your brain just stop working?
- You got brain freeze or something?
- Out the way, mutton-head!
- Off the road, idiot!
Fighting
- Damn mutton-fool
- Your children are going to miss you!
- We're gonna cut you up!
- We're gonna slice you up!
- We're gonna slice your face off!
- You goin' down, fuckhead.
Criticizing CJ's apparel
- Have you got the red eye disease?
Shooting
- Keep his damn head down!
- Gimme a clip on this motherfucker!
- Hope you liked your face!
Da Nang Boys
- How's it goin'?
- Watch it! (bumping into someone)
- I need a hit of your shit.
- Hello, fine lady! (to female pedestrians)
- You like my noodle? (to female pedestrians)
- Hello, sexy honey! (to female pedestrians)
- Hello, like shopping? (to female pedestrians)
- Oh yeah, baby! (to female pedestrians)
- Gimme some more of that! (to female pedestrians)
- Hey, dude.
- Oh, shit now I hungry! (after smoking a joint)
- You always drink good shit.
- Hey, brother!
- American girl talk too much.
- I gonna go Canada.
- Tastes good, remind me of prison.
- This your wallet? (bumping into someone)
- You want me to shoot you? (when stuck in traffic)
- I studied astrology in prison.
Telling CJ to leave their turf
- What is this shit, who are you?
- Someone drop you off here, girlfriend?
- You wanna be a gangsta?
- You got to be from L.S.
- L.S bastards smell like you!
Commenting on CJ's apparel
- Nice pants, man.
- Those are ugly shoes!
- Where you get your super shoes?
- Why you wear so funny shoes?
- I shit on your car!
- My dad had a cool shirt like that.
- I want a car like that someday!
- You need new clothes!
- You look like homeless.
Fighting
- No more playing!
- Who taught you how to fight?
- I gonna kill you!
- Oh, I love fighting!
- You dead now!
- You wanna fight prison style?
- You end up in my dinner, chicken!
- Run while you can!
- Cover me!
Clerks
Ammu-Nation
- Everything a patriot could want!
- Ice your wife or stop a truck, I got what you need.
- They all lost their serial numbers.
- I don't do big military orders.
- You hard yet?
- Best not to mention where you got this, okay?
- If the cops ask, you didn't get it here, ok?
- I didn't sell you this, right?
- Have fun!
- Hope you kick some ass!
- The choice of the professional.
- All top-quality pieces!
- See ya again soon!
- All virtually legal and above board.
- Don't you just love the smell of gun oil?
- I can meet all your home defense needs.
- I have a piece for every occasion.
- Guns and ammo. All top-quality.
- No ID required, friend.
- Everything you need to get even!
- I got everything a real patriot could want.
- Ain't my business what you do with it.
- You can legally own a gun.
- It's all fresh outta the crates.
- Works well in a crowded area.
- The revolution is coming!
- There are cultists everywhere, friend.
- The wars are coming, you hear?
The Well Stacked Pizza Co.
- What do you want?
- Chewy crust or sweaty crust, your choice sir!
- Oh? Uh, what would you like?
- What would sir like?
- Everything's well stacked, sir.
- Choose a blend of cheese and fat, sir.
- Here you go, enjoy!
- We're out of napkins.
- We stack 'em high, sir!
- Here! Next!
- Nice n' cheesy does it!
- Enjoy your meal, sir!
- Have a nice, cheesy day!
- Have a well stacked day!
- Watch it, it's hot!
- Kifflom gets a discount here.
- Come on, just pick something!
- What would you like, sir?
- You want a pizza or what?
- That's a nice slice of Epsilon for you!
- Fuck off, I ain't serving you!
- I ain't serving you with that attitude!
- You're joking, right? Get outta here! (When CJ is throwing up or when he doesn't have enough money)
Cluckin' Bell
- Yummy doodle-doo, how may I serve you?
- Cock-a-doodle-cluck, welcome.
- Cock-a-doodle-doo, what do you want?
- Cock-a-cluckle-doo, please place an order.
- Cluck, cluck, how may I serve you?
- Enjoy a-doodle-doo!
- Cluckity fuck, please place an order.
- It's all processed chicken ass.
- How may I further degrade myself sir?
- Well, aloh-a-doodle-doo.
- Don't choke on the bone fragments.
- Hope you choke a doodle-doo!
- The chewy bits aren't harmful, sir.
- You might be lucky to find a feather.
- If you come back; you're a moron.
- Get out of here, you're embarassing yourself!
- Get outta here! (When CJ is throwing up or when he doesn't have enough money)
- Believe me, you've got better shit to do! (When CJ is throwing up or when he doesn't have enough money)
Burger Shot
- What does sir desire?
- I'm proud to welcome you to Burger Shot!
- What would you like sir?
- Which delicious meal would sir like?
- How may I serve you?
- I enjoy serving you sir.
Serving food
- Please enjoy your meal.
- Hope we see you again, sir!
- Slurp my burger, sir!
- I have enjoyed serving you, sir!
- Munch your way to bliss, sir!
- Have a wonderful day!
- Do come back again!
- Please enjoy your meal!
When freaked out
- We cannot serve the mentally-deficient, sir!
- Get professional help, sir!
- Have some sense and go home!
- I hope you're being self-conspicuous of yourself, sir!
- Please consider leaving, sir!
- Sir, I can't serve you.
- What did I do?!
- Please, no!
- Maniac!
- Don't orphan my kids!
- You monster!
- Oh god, my face!
- My eyes, agh, my eyes!
Clothing shops
Female
- Try our clothes in the changing room!
- When CJ enters the shop
- It's exhillerating to have you here, sir.
- Welcome to my humble shop!
- Ooh! A customer!
- Come in, come in!
- Hello!
- Hey, hi, welcome!
- Hi there!
- Welcome, sir, welcome!
- After CJ purchases a product
- Thank you, sir!
- Good choice, sir!
- Always the pleasure, sir!
- If CJ attacks or aims a weapon at the cashier
- I'm calling the police!
- Get out of here, you maniac!
- When CJ leaves the shop
- Have a nice day, sir!
Male
- Well hello, gorgeous!
- Have a nice day, honeybum!
- It looks great on you.
- We also have a wide selection of thongs.
Trainers and masters
Los Santos boxing trainer
- Yo, you wanna learn some new moves?
- Man you're an embarassment! Get yourself some muscles first! (when CJ has low muscle or is skinny.)
- Fine man, but the streets are mean dude!
- Alright, but I'll know you'll be back!
- Hey, you wanna go on a round with me?
- You charge at him and batter your opponent!
- (to the boxers) That's right, keep breathing!
- Don't give the opponent the time to recover.
San Fierro kung fu master
- So, you wish to become a warrior!
- You are weak like flat weed! Get yourself some strength! (when CJ has low muscle or is skinny.)
- Observe with the eyes, young student, and you will learn!
- The warrior's path shall bring you back!
- Would you like to spar with your master?
Las Venturas streetfighting teacher
- You want to see some new moves?
- Come back if you change your mind, man!
- Alright man, pay attention!
- Want to have another round with me?
Pedestrians
Indian pedestrian
- (farts) My ass is stinking!
- Shit cock bastard head!
- Smell my fingers!
- You fucking shitface!
- Aeyyy!
- I kill you!
- Dumb bastard!
- You shit!
- I'll get you!
- Take this, you dick!
- You want some of this?
- I studied martial arts in Kathmandu!
Croupier
- Place your bets!
- Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen!
- An offer of credit has been made, Sir.
- The house is prepared to offer you credit, Sir.
- The house regonizes _ credit rating.
- Sorry, Sir, you don't have enough funds.
- No more bets, please!
- No more bets, ladies and gentlemen, please.
- No more bets, people.
- You win!
- You win, Sir, well done.
- Congratulations, Sir.
- Thank you, Sir, have a nice day.
- Thank you for playing, Sir.
- Jackpot!
- Another win for Sir!
- Blackjack!
- Blackjack! House Exclusive!
Samoan pedestrian
- Get out of the way!
- Move that piece of shit!
- Komo. (Asshole)
- Shit! I'll kill you!
- Ufa. (Fuck you)
- You better move!
- Shit! Come on, watch it!
- Polo (Balls). Kae (Shit). Komo (Asshole).
- Easy!
- Stay back asshole!
- What the...
- You better not do that again.
- Man, you crazy?
- Watch out!
- A last guy challenged me as a quadrapalegic.
- Last time I arm wrestle someone, I ripped his arm off.
- This fresh record from Verona Beach was still hoes!
- Ain't no cops holding me down.
- Cops are such pussies.
- Momos (Shits) with guns. Anyone wants to take me out here, I can fight anybody anytime.
- Man, where did you get your fit. The thrift store?
- Man, you're asking for trouble with that outfit.
- I wouldn't walk around looking like that man.
- You better look out for the fashion popos.
- Another working pillow for the hood.
- Man you need to hit the gym.
- Man you have to lay off the fast food.
- Man don't you give a shit about yourself?
- Shower's over this way komo (asshole).
- Hey komo (asshole) take a shower.
- Hey man take a shower, man you stink.
- Hey don't walk away from me pukio (asshole), I'm talking to you.
- What, you didn't answer? You didn't hear me?
- Man you got some style, that's pussy mega style there.
- Stylin' bro.
- Looking good bro.
- Hey homie, looking good.
- Hey homie, you've been hitting the weights?
- Hey man, you've been hitting iron?
- Sweet colombus, that is fresh. Some dope ass clothe.
- Where did you get that clothe? Is that Renegade you're wearin'?
- Shit! No! Damn! My bike!
- You better run now!
- Polo lou Kama (Your father's balls), I'm gonna kick your ass for this!
- Man, you're dead.
- How are you going to pay for my car?!
- Now you going to have to pay for my car!
- Kae! (Shit!) Komo! (Asshole!) Ufa! (Fuck you!) You're dead!
- Look out!
- Damn! Oh shit!
- Man, hook me up with a bag. Make it two bags, I'm under a lot of stress.
- Holy moly, you're dead, komo (asshole!)!
- You ain't got a chance!
- You trying to check me on, pukio (asshole?)?
- Game over, pukio! (asshole!)
- Man, this is your funeral, pukio! (asshole!)
- You like hospitals? You must like hospitals!
Purple 31 pedestrian
- Fool are you on sherms?
- You bitch-made busta!
- I mess with girls and guys, so?
- Im about to start trippin'!
- Get yo stupid ass movin'!
- I drink all your booze under the table!
- Move, punk bitch!
- Those fool oughta get blasted!
- I gotta check this mark!
- Who's this busta ass mark?!
- Excuse me mark!
- When I slap you, don't trip!
- I love violence!
- On our first date, we should go to Ammu-Nation!
- Fool, I said raise up!
- I love lip gloss! And break you off a tip!
- Better you than me!
- Well he say he's taking me to Ventura.
- You up in here smell bangin'.
- Jackin' bitches, that's yo M.O.?!
- I'm startin' to feel a little faded.
- A bitch ain't got time for this shit!
- Tryin' to fill a bitch up?!
- Man that's just triffling!
- 'Gon bail in a wheelchair when I'm done!
- Don't hold back me though, loc!
- I done KO Meteor Man! (?)
- I'm down for my hood!
- You 'bout to get beat by a bitch!
- Think a female can't squab, loc?
- Get 'em up, you perpetrator!
- Let's scrap, you old busta!
- East Santos bitches can't see me!
Mexican prostitute
- I had porn for breakfast.
- Shit on a shingle!
- MOVE THAT PIECE OF SHIT!
- Do you like Japanese school girls?
- Do you like Bangkok?
- Take a shower ese.
- Holy macaroni!
- Big gun pencil dick sabes!
- Molest you later!
- What comes with the aftertaste of poosy?
- The ladies like to rub the tatas on your tats moreno.
- You think you have the bolas for me borardo.
- Goddamn piss swimmer!
- You smell like my ass man!
- You drive like a mujer!
- I buy a round for all the boys!
- Bende hamas!
- MOVE IT! Le's go!
- Cabrone!
- Que paso loco.
- Pussies are like porridge.
- You smell like pasulo!
- Carre I hate this weather.
- You better not walk away from me, puto!
- Nice ink!
- Ah! The boobies are out today!
- Pendejo (Berk), that was my car!
- Chale!
- Baboso!
- Shit! My finger! AHH!!
- I need some smoke, I need to get whacked!
- Have you got some whack-whack!
- Game over, pendejo! (berk!)
- Get off me pendejo! (berk!)
- What you doing man?!
- HEY! My porno's in there!!
- You better hope I don't find you!!
- Hey! Nobody takes away my porn!!
- Hey! I want my money! That's for the big show!
- Chale! No way!
- Forget it man!
- Hey there, chula!
- Shit, I was gonna get some pussy!
- Pussy's great for Ammu-Nation!
- I love the cock. I love the Zebra bar.
- Baboso cabbie!
- Keep going man. I want that cabucha!
- Carifa!
- You got big bolas! Keep the change!
- You like young girls too?!
- You think you got the huevos (balls) for me?
- You ready, joto? (faggot?)
- You want some of me, maricon? (faggot?)
- Mariposa! (Faggot!)
- Aqui estoy (I'm here), shit muncher!
- You gonna die now, pendejo! (punk!)
- Time's up, amorcita! (faggot!)
- You're going down, joto! (faggot!)
- I'm gonna fill you up!]
Refined pedestrian
- You smell like shit sir.
- Who cut the cheese?
- You smell like Copenhagen.
- My old tailor is in a box at home.
- Whoopsie daisy!
- Might I sniff you again, sir?
- Excuse me! Your vehicle seems to be in the way!
- You are creating an incident!
- You are not moving when you should be!
- Please forgive me!
- No broken bones!
- Quality tailoring makes the man!
- Trust funds for everyone!
- This weather is dissapointing.
- I love to travel! France is so lovely!
- A tattoo is for heathens.
- You smell exquisite.
- You remind me of spring!
- Tattoos remind me of my service day.
- What do you think you're doing?!
- I'm on my way to the symphony!
- Maniac!
- Menace!
- You're sick! You're dangerous!
- I need something to keep me polite.
- Your devotion to fitness is admirable.
- I would like to get stoned.
- Oh my! Please be more gentle!
- Take more money for petrol!
- I'll call the constable!
- This property isn't yours!
- You want a donation?
- You fool!
- Greetings sir, how do you do sir?
- Do you enjoy the programme "law"?
- I find Ammu-Nation supplies me well.
- You are a gentleman and a scholar.
- Perhaps in another colour, this supports my purposes.
- Chauffeur! Taxi!
- Let's hit the road!
- With haste, young man!
- Now hurry, and off the way we go!
- The stickiest of the icky please.
- My motorised penny farthing!
- Oh dear.
- Poor swine!
- Your finest narcotics please.
- That's the way the cookie crumbles!
- If you excuse me: I must ask for my vehicle back!
- Yes! Truly unfortunate!
- Absolutely not!
- How do you madam?
- Enjoy yourself sir!
- Sprunk taste like dirt.
- Oh my word, no.
- Public transportation is rubbish!
- You sir are a menace!
- I regret stepping into this contrivance!
- My blind wolfhound drives better than you!
- Oh my goodness!
- Did you notice that person?!
- You've killed the poor person!
- My solicitor has been informed! I shall alert the authorities!
- Violence is a last resort.
- You have forced me into action!
- Regrettable, but necessary.
- Reason, obviously won't work here.
- There's only one way to solve this.
- I am prepared to fillet you!
- You have forfeited the rules of fair play.
- I can scrap!
DJ
- Everyone is tryin' to rip me off.
- Come on man!
- I got places I wanna be!
- No way homie, I'm on to you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hey when you back up, the people say beep!
- My two-wheeled baby!
- When they set up a needle, you set up a production sequel.
- I should get big muscles like yours!
- Pencil dick asshole!
- Corporate gangsta!
- Oh you can take it, I need all the the insurance money.
- Stop rhymin' and start runnin'!
- What?! Stop what are you doing?! My recs are in there!
- I'm a kill you now!
- Yeah, you be sorry now!
- Holy remix!
- Bless my diamond stylus!
- Street means body armour!
- Hey! Hey! This car is also my home!
- Homey, I ain't afraid of your major label bullshit.
- Great spinnin' 2 inches!
- These city streets ain't safe!
- Stop! That's my house! Uh, I mean my car!
- When I get famous, you'll be sorry!
- Didn't you realise I'm the prince of the dicks?
- Pick it up baby bop, come on!
- Aw, you got some nice moves there!
- No homie, you can keep the change!
- Oh no! My house! I mean my car!
- Be careful, this car is also my home.
- Gon' get my music over my dead body! (?)
- Nobody tries to steal my music!
- Oh, you wanna die? Sure!
- My fists are as strong as my beats!
- You want beats? I give you beats!
- Yeah, you got one foot in the grave already!
- Give it up, shithead!
Old bathroom pedestrian/hotdog vendor
- World of Cog has the best toilet paper!
- AH! MY LAWN! MY HEART! MY EYES!
- Hurry it up! I wanna take a leak!!
- Not now! I wanna take a dump!
- GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
- GET THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE OUTTA HERE!
- MOVE! You're between me and the john!
- All I want to do today is sit on the john.
- Your girl's got no nose!
- You gotta wipe your ass too, youngster!
- SHIT ON A STICK!!
- Show some respect dummy!
- Get off the road, I wanna take a piss!
- Uuuugh... my heart!
- Johnson respect, dummy!
- This street is too small!
- What?! Yo shit don't stink.
- Crack my head, crack yo head!
- You be careful now.
- What in damnation is going on?!
- Ain't cha got self control?!
- I soiled myself because of you!
- That car will be your coffin!!!
- I took a good dump this morning!
- You ain't gettin' away dummy!
- I can't even masturbate anymore!
- Hey! I'm an old man!
- Underwear is overated man!
- You thieving dummy!
- You goddamn dummy!
- Man, I need some tits to squeeze.
- Is your aftershave made from faeces?! (belches)
- Your cologne is very sophisticated!
- MOVE THAT BUCKET!
- The urinals in this joint smell good!
- Get that piece of garbage outta here!
- OW! What the...
- I've been to every public bathroom in the city.
- Your tattoos are giving me the runs!
- Man this weather SUCKS!
- Careful dummy!
- Cool it meathead!
- This is bullshit!!
- Shit!!!
- LOOK OUT!! WATCH OUT!!
- AHHHHH!!! Not my time!
- I need something extra special!
- Feet don't fail me now!
- Look out! I've got a heart condition!
- Shiiiiit!
- GET BACK HERE YA THIEVING DUMMY!!
- You can't take a coffin from a old man!!
- You gotta be faster than that boy!!
- This is supposed to be a nice city!
- How's it hangin' bro?
- My ass still hurts in that Indian food.
- I love Cluckin' Bell on Tuesdays.
- Burger Shot has some quality meat.
- Damn no respect kids!!
- Let me outta here already!!
- Have you been to Rusty Brown's?
- You've reached the end of days!
- Get ready for an ass whoopin'!
- I'll eat you and spit you out!
- I'll show you how it's done!
- No tomorrow for you!
- I eat dummies for breakfast!
- You ain't even gonna have an ass to kick!
- I'm still young enough to whoop ya!
- Your time here is up!
Orange 12 pedestrian
- Come on fool. Kick me a Logger.
- I ain't no alcoholic, I'm a weed head.
- Steal one drink and a bartender starts trippin'.
- I ain't nursin' no drunk.
- Do Loggers come in a 40 ounce?
- I prefer Chronic.
- Man, stop playin' with me!
- Don't you know what road rage is?
- Honk means get the hell on, man!
- Is you high?
- You're like my asshole, always holdin' up shit.
- Move bitch!
- I'm too high for this shit, move!
- You playin' with me? Stop playin'.
- Don't push me.
- I've come to the edge, man.
- Man, don't be runnin' up on me.
- Raise up, mark.
- Can't you see I'm busy bein' high?
- All that aggression.
- You on sherms, too?
- Go smoke some cigar.
- You're Madd Doggin' me, man.
- Get your hands out my pockets!
- I'm a get me a Happy Farmer Kit.
- That esse put dust in my weed.
- I smoke cause it gives me peace of mind.
- Them white boys had me on Crystal Meth.
- Weed, money, same difference.
- Gonna shoot me over $200, man?
- I smoke cause it gives me knowledge.
- You still wearin' prison issue, man?
- You spend clothes money on crack, huh?
- It's laundry day, huh?
- You so fat, you jumped in the air and you got stuck.
- Back of your neck look like a pack of hot dogs.
- Did someone die in your mouth?
- Do you shower in do-do?
- Man, you stink.
- Why you got to be like that?
- Man, why you tryin' to fade me?
- Nice outfit, high roller.
- Came up on some nice clothes, boy.
- Can't find them threads at no swap meet.
- You swollen as shit man.
- You lift weights? I lift joints.
- Smells good, boy.
- Where can I buy your smell?
- Ya smell good, man.
- Now I got to steal another bike.
- Gimme drugs! I'll forget about the bike.
- Stolen bikes don't have no insurance.
- I'm the one supposed to drive high, not you.
- Now I got to steal another car.
- I would call the po-po.
- You got enough weed to fix this?
- I'm too high for this shit.
- Damn!
- What the hell?
- I'm movin'!
- Aw, you trippin'.
- Stay off the crack, man.
- You on one.
- Scandalous!
- Say, man, what's on special?
- I don't smoke all the time.
- I need the good shit, man! The good shit!
- Gimme the proper, man.
- I'm a lick you like Mr. Whoopee.
- I'm a soak you up like a biscuit.
- You, me, weed - what a threesome.
- Stoned with a stone cold jab.
- My heart don't pump no Sprunk.
- I'm a beat ya like you stole somethin'.
- Knockin' you out, and smokin' your money.
- I hate getting stole on.
- Another one, damn it.
- I can't loose man, hit me!
- I feel my card comin', hit me!
- Feelin' lucky, hit me!
- Come one, dealer!
- Gimme another one!
- Hit me!
- Bitch!
- Dealer, you cheatin'!
- I ain't got enough left for a sack.
- That ain't count.
- I said "Stay", not "Hit".
- Man, I'm cool, no more cards.
- This hand is righteous.
- No more, I'll ride with this hear.
- No more, dealer.
- I'll stay.
- No, I'll stay.
- Yes!
- We dealers stick together, you know.
- Man, I can't be faded, man.
- Did you think you could beat me?
- All praise due to the weed!
- Santos fools runnin' the casino, man.
- Do it again.
- I let you win that time, man.
- Hell yeah, let's go smoke and celebrate.
- Spend yo winnin's on a sack.
- We played Russain roulette.
- My P.O. don't know I left Los Santos.
- Hey, lemme borrow some of ya chips.
- Let me borrow some of ya chips.
- I got all ya'lls money!
- Did it on one coin too!
- The slots love me!
- One yank, made all that bank.
- Man, I was just playin' with ya.
- Man, stop playin', the po-po watchin'.
- Calm yo ass down.
- How you gonna draw down on your homie?
- I thought we was homies?
- This fool is trippin'!
- Man, I stole this first!
- Damn, I'm slippin'.
- Come on, man. Ain't we the same set?
- Man, you on one.
- Wait, man, the rollers is watchin'.
- I'm a civilian, man.
- How you gonna run up on me?
- Damn, you scandalous!
- Oh, busta!
- Stupid ass mark!
- My homies gonna find you!
- Bitch!
- You ain't a G!
- You know we enemies now, right?
- Yeah, boy, you better bail!
- I just got to steal another one. Shit.
- Why you drive off, mark!
- Man, I will kick your ass! You hear me?
- Forget you! I'm a go smoke.
- Fine!
- Fine! You can't have none of my endo.
- Why you trippin', man?
- I just stole this money from ya mamma!
- You just gonna smoke it up.
- Hold up, man, the rollers is watchin'.
- Yeah, but I can't fade it, man.
- Fo sho.
- That's some mark ass shit.
- The bomb, man.
- Oh, that's right!
- And it's tight, man!
- Nah, but it's crackin' though, huh?
- Not yet, man
- Nah, man, nah.
- Oh, no.
- Man, you blowin' my high.
- Get out my face, trick.
- Hey little mamma.
- What's poppin'.
- Hey, baby, you don't remember me, do you?
- Hey, man, where the weed at?
- What's happenin', homeboy?
- What's up dog?
- Call me with some Chronic, aight?
- Later!
- I gotta bail, in a minute.
- Later homie.
- Lemme go find some Chronic. Later.
- You know about that Happy Farmer Kit?
- You been to Sha-La's yet?
- Ever smoke weed from San Fierro?
- You tried that grub at Cluckin' Bell yet?
- Hey, you visit that Blotto shop?
- Some fat sherm is makin' me tweak.
- Weed spot is dry as hell man.
- Man, I've got some Northern Lights, straight from Canada.
- Got me nice and sprung!
- I ain't feelin' nothin'.
- A second chance at life?
- That shit look painful.
- Do it hurt?
- Walk it off!
- Well your draws don't smell too bad.
- I dun spent all my duckets on weed.
- Damn! This is the bomb!
- Should I buy a dub, or should I buy this?
- I can't fade this, man.
- How much is this shit again?
- Can I pay for this with bud?
- I can refund this tomorrow, right?
- Yeah, my money smell like weed, so!?
- You know I'm about to kick your ass, right?
- Come on fool, get off!
- Stop that shit!
- You're ruinin' my high, man!
- I ain't got no money!
- How about I pay you Saturday mornin'?
- You drive like you on drugs.
- I know you can see me!
- Taxi!
- You got ran the hell over!
- Scrooch over, let me hit someone too.
- Forget drive-by's. You drive over!
- Take me to the drugs, pronto!
- I got to pay you in bud.
- Drive! I'm clockin' here!
- Thanks, man!
- I'm a go get high now.
- Righteous!
- If I ever need speed for weed, you the one.
- Here's some extra, go on, get high.
- Extra chump change for some Cheeba.
- Am I high, or did we switch drivers?
- That's my dealer you jacked, man!
- Say, drop me off at the weed spot.
- That Chronic got me, man.
- Man, why you want to steal this bucket anyway?
- Now how will my dealer do the drop off?
Quantum Man
- When will you villains learn?
- Taste the sweet anvils that are my fists.
- If you give me money, I'll give a super blowjob.
- I forgot to sew pockets on my tights.
- Quantum Man can be your drinking buddy!
- My superhearing has detected an emergency!
- You villains never learn!
- Oh! That tickles! Taste my wrath!
- You dare to aim at citizens?!
- Quantum Man never shrinks from battle!
- Must...catch...bullets!
- Stop! In the name of justice!
- I have no choice but to agree.
- Agreed, good citizen!
- SILENCE! Evil one! Your deeds has come to an end!
- Be vigilant!
- Why thank you good citizen!
- I only use my powers against supervillains.
- Hello good citizen!
- You are risking everything in combat!
- I have powerful thighs.
- My super-speed is no match for you!
- You dare aim at Quantum Man?!
- Panic not good citizens! FLEE!
- I dare you to immobilize that firearm!
- This planet is insane!
- I am Quantum Man, I have come to the universe to protect the innocent!
- Hello female citizen!
- Hello sir!
- Have you seen the regular reaction?
- Glory thee to this powerful moment!
- In the name of subnotomic!
- On my world, I was known as a bum.
- STOP! In the name of justice!
- There is no reasoning with people!
- I must agree with the gravity of this universe.
- My compliments good lady.
- Please excuse me citizen.
- I must return to crime patrol. My duty calls.
- Hello there sir!
- Dark forces are gathering here.
- Your timing was inplecible.
- Do you know what you've done?!
African-American hippie
- Fight the power, brother!
- Let's be peaceful, brother!
- They don't want us expanding our minds.
- Relax! I'm only pulling out my wallet!
- Brother I have no beef with you.
- You see a black man trying to drive?
- I believe I have a right to self-defence.
- I know who you are pig!
- I'm gonna beat the Uncle Tom outta you!
- You gonna do drive by Uncle Tom?
- Always a sellout pulling a trigger!
- I'm late for Dr.Ackbar's knowledge.
- Stop harassing me 5-0!
- Get a good life snitch!
- I like message reps!
- Jack Howardson making pigs look cool!
- Don't eat to die brother! EAT TO LIVE!
- Clean the lies from your lives!
- The revolution needs brothers like you!
- Capitalism breeds accidents!
- Capitalism breeds car crashes!
- Legalise it and we'll advertise it!
- My people love it.
- You need to be corrected brother!
- Please brother! Stop the violence!
- Unhand me you sellout!
- Thieving Uncle Tom!
- Brainwashed bastard!
- Of course but I won't discuss it openly!
- Kiss my ass snitch!
- Traitor!
- Beware the beast sister!
- Beware the beast brother!
- Crack dealers destroy our community!
- The New World Order has enslaved our people!
- My fine African garments!
- Your driving lacks street knowledge!
- Stay in the driving seat brother!
- Now we're both victims of capitalism!
- Those garments are attrocious brother.
- Look at that strong black brother, now that's an fine African warrior!
- Brothers in the drivers seats intimidate you?!
- You're acting kinda strange.
- Violence breeds more violence fool!
- You're too old for the man!
- Rejecting messager, but consisting the message.
- No more crime please uncle brother!
- I only deal with revolutionaries.
- Heard much about the New World Order?
- Capitalism breeds violent deaths!
- You know anything about the crack conspiracy?
- Too strong and too black to die!
- Look at that! They're hatin' me!
- The revolution is coming, I'm wearing my best African garments.
- The ancestors sent me back!
- San Fierro is waking up to the truth!
- TAXI!
- You're not a government agent are you?
- Jacking cars is what they want you to do!
Kifflom backpacker
- Kifflom, brother uncle!
- Are you looking for spiritual answers?
- Kifflom! Kifflom!
- Can I interest you in religion?
- Dinosaurs are a lie! FACT!
- Cris Formage saved my life!
- Epsilon protect me!!
- Put me up brother uncle!
- Something big is happening in American religion.
- You should read our literature!
- Can I talk to you about religion?
- Kifflom! Kifflom be praised!!
- Don't corrupt me! I'm saved!
- Kifflom and Krant!
- Before I read the tract, I was lost.
- Careful, brother uncle.
- Careful, careful.
- Do you need spiritual guidance?
- Find out!
- Have you ever taken a karate lesson for free?
- Have you thought about the answers to the universe?
- I bring a message of peace.
- I haven't been with my parents since I've joined the fellowship.
- I haven't spoke to my parents since...
- I lie with nine of my sisters every week.
- Join our fellowship.
- No, it's a terrible lie.
- Kifflom! Krant! Help!
- On the road take care in the woods of darkness.
- Partner sharing is a integrated part of Cris's vision.
- The world's beautiful, and so are you.
- Yes, it's all thanks to epsilonism.
- They should all read the Epsilon tract.
- Kifflom, sister aunt!
- Have you read the Epsilon tract?
- Biology is a LIE!
- I love the sexual side of Epsilonism!
- Epsilonism doesn't allow this!!
Construction worker
- Out of the way, man!
- Hurry up, I gotta get to the site!
- Come on, I got work to do!
- Move it, asshole!
- Buy American, you piece of shit!
- I don't got all day here!
- Move it or lose it, moron!
- This ain't a parking lot, asshole!
- I'm gonna be late for my bowling league!
- What's your problem, pal?
- Got some sort of disorder, buddy?
- Tourettes, huh?
- Watch where you're walking, moron!
- You want me to shoot you with my nailgun?
- Yeah, just try that again.
- Do you want a black eye?
- Easy!
- Hey!
- Watch it!
- You in a rush?
- You pushin' me, buddy?
- What's your problem, buddy?
- My bowling team's in first place.
- Foreman takes all the credit.
- Got this new table saw.
- Bowling is such an intellectual game.
- Fell off the scaffolding last week.
- I wouldn't even wear that on the site!
- You look like shit!
- What the hell are you wearing?
- Who paid you to wear those clothes?
- Woah, fatty!
- You're gonna give yourself a heart attack!
- My god, you sure are fat!
- You are a fat bastard!
- Dude! Take a shower!
- Try some deodorant, buddy!
- And I thought I smelled bad!
- My god, you stink!
- Very flashy!
- You sure know how to dress!
- I like those clothes!
- You must be in construction too, huh!
- Gee, I wouldn't mess with you!
- You a trainer or something?
- Nice cologne, bro!
- Bet you get a lot of ladies with that cologne!
- Maybe I should try that cologne!
- I wish I smelled that good!
- You been to that new 24/7?
- You tried using a belt cinder?
- You ever do it yourself?
- Have you checked out that new Willard dealership?
- Have you ever tried bowling?
- I oughta kick your ass!
- Bring it on, buddy!
- Yeah, this's gonna be fun!
- I'm gonna mess you up!
- I needed a release all day!
- Come on, asshole!
- Let's see what you got, douchebag!
- Go ahead, make me hurt!
Ex-convict thug
- Why you touchin' my beer?
- Don't make me kick your ass!
- You can take me - I like it better in jail anyway(!)
- You know who I am chump?
- Raise up little bitch!
- You wanna die little bitch?
- Raise up little bitch.
- In the pen, we play strip football.
- I'm a Rusty Brown doughnut eatin' gangsta!
- Nice wheels for a chump.
- I'm taking bike repairs out your ass!
- I'm taking car repairs out your ass!
- I'm taking repairs out your ass!
- I'm too big for little sales, sir!
- Watch out, punk!
- Stupid mark!
- This shit better be good, punk.
- In jail, being on top ain't gay.
- You're a sissy with a silly ass car.
- Don't make me repeat myself! Move!
- Nice car asshole!
- Is that yo mama's car?
- That is one ugly ass car!
- I made a fool drink piss.
- Those steroids make your dick do WHAT?
- I just stole that bike too!
- I just stole that car too!
- I just stole this thing too, I hope yo mama's a mechanic!
- I like that car little bitch.
- Please sir! I'll be a good little thug!
- Who pulls me out of my car?!
- You sneaky punk! It's your funeral!
- Big mistake, bitch!
- It's your funeral, chump!
- This is my vehicle, punk!
- Run if you want to live mark!
- Show some respect, punk!
- That dead body made my day.
- Jackin' my homie? I should jack you!
- Taxi! Bring yo ass over here!
- I'm a make you wash my drawers!
- Bail before I make your heart fail.
- I'm a give that fat ass a spanky!
- Smoke, sterm, steroids give it here.
- This shit better be good punk, any bad tricks I'll kill you.
- Damn I missed out on all the fun!
- Another 187 haha!
- This murder put me in the mood!
- It's on now, lil' man!
- I love squabblin'!
- It's lights out for you, chump!
- I'ma make you wash my drawers!
- You must wanna die, lil' man!
- I kill you wit' my bare hands!
- Come get knocked out like yo' mama!
- You wanna scrap wit' a killa', fool?
- You boxin' wit' a booty bandit, punk!
- Let's work up a sweat, lil' man!
- Yeah, let's go head up!
- Time for a donation, chump.
- Fool, you jackin' a straight killa!
Bikini woman
- Get your fat body off the beach.
- You smell like shit.
- I'm special, asshole!
- Wow, you smell hot!
- My thong, asshole!
- Go pick somebody fat instead!
- Look at that guy!
- Hey you, you looking good!
- Nooooo! My hair!!
- You can't shoot me!! I'm American!!
- Hey fatty!
- Hey porky!
- Hey lardy!
- I'm fighting the war on fat.
- Get the hell out of my shadow.
- Good luck losing the weight.
- Stop staring at me!!
- I'm not broken, am I?
- Stop it you asshole!
- Go hit a fat person!
- Screw you dick!
- I thank God for not making me fat.
- Stop molesting me!
- You are disgustingly fat!!
Mohawk punk
- He got nothing on me!
- Hey this is bullshit! Where are the charges?
- Man, get out of the way!
- OUT OF THE WAY!
- Something's gonna be very wrong with you!
- Everyone knows me at the casinos!
- You call that a car?
- Yo, yo, yo, yo!
- That tattoo is FIERCE!!
- OPEN YOUR EYES MAN!!
- Man, I got this detailed!
- Damn idiot!
- Nooooooooo!!
- What are you retarded?!
- Can we just talk this out!
- WA-HA-HO!!!
- AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
- I was done dealin' with diapers, I'm gonna kick your ass!
- Oh what do you think you're doing?!
- Oh this is not cool man!
- You got no witnesses?
- You wanna see a trick pal?
- What are you, some kind of joker?
- Hey watch your shoes man!
- Man I just invented this trick!
- You wanna bet on that?
- What's the matter with you?
- Unlike you I got somewhere to be!
- Man some people...!
- Come on man, let's beat the phones!
- Ho ho, I'm feelin' lucky today!
- Man, that is a rolling disaster!
- Nice car pal!
- Now that car is cool!
- BLIND OR SOMETHING?!!
- Hey LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY BIKE!!
- Oh you're blind as a bat!
- Oh what did you do?!
- OOOHH!!!
- You call that driving?!
- AAAHHH!!!
- You better not screw me man, I need some of that stuff.
- Man, I hope you like knuckle sandwiches!
- Oh watch where you point that!
- Oh this is not working out!
- I won't have any insurance!!!
- MAN I JUST STOLE THAT CAR BACK!!!
- GIMME THAT!!
- I need this more than you do!
- Awesome!
- N.O.!
- Go fly a kite!
- Forget you!
- Have you played craps?
- Yo, the police are hassling me all the time!
- I don't believe this!
- Look at the tag on that!
- Hey TAXI!!!
- HEY WATCH OUT MAN!!! OH GOD!!!!
- HEY THIS AIN'T DRIVING MAN!! THIS IS HUNTING!!
- Have you driven a Hustler?
- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!
- I'm gonna crush your skull man!
- You ever gamble!
- Man, I'm banned from three casinos!
- Man looks better on the windows!
- UH!! I'M GONNA DIE MAN!!!
- Playin' cards are gonna make me a millionairre!
"Old Cletus" vagrant
- What do you mean I can't use the bathroom? I gotta take my personal business somewhere.
- Hey, you need a bodyguard player. I can protect anyone around here.
- Something died in my underpants.
- I once had a dream, but it died in San Andreas.
- Two words for your gun: "Screw" and "you"!
- When I find that chihuahua, I'm gonna kill it!
- Have you ever been to that Glory Hole Theme Park?
- I was world heavyweight champion in 68.
- I had crabs the size of a baseball.
- The liverwurst was green, but I ate it anyway.
- Now you got the cooties, jackass!
- You ever suck the fudge of a Rusty Brown's ring doughnut?
- I shouldn't have eaten that taco...
- Tag! You're it!
- I hate this place.
- Woof! Woof!
- Excuse moi asshole!
- Has anyone seen my lizard?
- I can't masturbate anymore.
- When will I find true love...
- Jumping Jehosophat! I'm not ready to die!
- Are you, go ahead shoot me!
- OK, OK, don't shoot me.
- You mugging me? Do I look like your daddy to you?
- Hello there missy!
- Good day, sweetheart!
- Have you sniffed that icky-icky?
- Burger Shot burgers are tasty, even in the dumpster!
- My stomach is rumbling.
Rich Hispanic Woman
- Thinking I'm smarter than everybody I know. (talking to oneself)
- Everybody wants to be like me.
- It's so great to be rich and beautiful...
- Do I look cheap to you?
- Excuse me!?
- That's as far as you get with me.
- Get your ass back here now!
- Don't tell me you just didn't see me!
- These shoes are so expensive... (talking to oneself and being bumped into)
- Did I say you could touch me?
- I'm expecting an apology! (being bumped into)
- You better say you're sorry.
- You're lucky my man isn't here, cabron.
- Finally, a man who knows how to dress like one. (responding positively to CJ's apparel)
- That's a fine ride! (responding positively to CJ's car)
- I wouldn't mind being seen with you!
- You look like a cheap slob!
- This area has a dress code, you know.
- Did you buy your shirt at Binco's? (responding negatively to CJ's apparel)
- You buy that at Binco's?
- You look shit!
- This is so wrong!
- Are you going to hold me up!?
- Take your ghetto shit back to Ganton! (if being carjacked)
- You best just to step off!
- Get him off me!
- Ándale! (when waiting for traffic to move)
- Chinga tu madre (fuck your mother), I ain't got time for this!
- I will not stand for this shit!
- My foot!
- Where did you get that cut!? (responding positively to CJ's haircut)
- I like a man who's not afraid to shop!
- Finally, a man who dresses like one.
- You're not worth it. (if CJ negatively replies to her compliments)
- It's the bestest! (talking to a pedestrian)
- It's the worst!
- Ever been to the block where I grew up?
- This area is really coming up!
- Have you ever driven a Pfister? (talking to other pedestrians)
- That chihuahua shit is nasty!
- I ain't interested in Herr Gruber's Spa.
- Hey chica!
- Hi cutie!
- Hey baby!
- Hey chico!
- It sucks!
- It's terrible!
- It's the worst! (responding to pedestrians)
- Bye bye, girlfriend!
- Isn't my dress cute?
- Hey! Taxi! (looking for a taxi)
- Right here's good. (being dropped off at her desired destination)
- Watch where you're going! (if nearly hit by a car)
- Gaah!
- Diva!
- Watch it!
- Whatcha!?
- That's it!
- What the---!?
Depressed Black Woman
- I'm having a breakdown in here!
- This is just like Inversion Therapy!
- I'm CRACKING up in here!
- These things are sent to TEST us!
- You gotta get outta my way!
- MOVE!
- Please, move!
- Come on, I'm late for therapy!
- Hey, look out!
- Excuse you.
- Push a girl? Very clever.
- Do I look invisible?!
- I've got enough problems without you pushing me!
- Pushing a woman around?
- How impressive!
- Look where you're going, bully!
- The world is a terrible, terrible place.
- Guilt has ruined my life.
- Wealth has so many responsibilities.
- I just want to help people, and myself.
- Oh, I know how it is to suffer.
- The world hates people like me!
- Mr. Fontaine is a genius!
- I like shopping, and designer clothes...
- Shopping really helps my self worth!
- I blame my father...
- Those shoes... they're wonderful!
- Love the hair, m'brother.
- Those shoes are out, Mister!
- You must hate yourself in shoes like that!
- SICK bastard!
- FILTHY bastard!
- He wrecked my car! He hates me!
- Why does this always happen to me!?
- He's trying to kill me!
- Call my therapists! Any of them!
- I'm moving to Ohio!
Black Young Businesswoman
- You hit like a bitch!
- Females have got squabbles too, sucker!
- Excuse me...
- Beating up girls, right!? (if provoked)
- I firm with stunt doubles, asshole!
- You stepped on my Shodi! (bumped into)
- The studio might give me a promotion! (talking to pedestrians)
Drug dealers
Mexican
- I've seen your face officer!
- Fuck you holmes! Keep your damn hood!
- Junkies are pussies.
- These Junkies, Their pathetic!
- I sell drugs to children.
- I've been with your wife officer.
- Holmes, you need some rich man's eye? I got what you need.
- I ain't a drug dealer! I got a wife and 13 children!
- Don't look at me asshole!
- What are you looking at puto?
- I do with your wife officer!
- Who d'you think you're messing with?
- You want a little pick-me-up?
- You know this beer makes me want to piss.
- You push me, you want to die?!
- I love making junk things bad!
- Please officer! This is discrimination!
- Come back here puto!
- ASSHOLE!
- Come back and fight ese!
- I'll be back asshole!
- Who the fuck do you think you are ese?!
- I heard you the first time, fuck off!
- You're too proud ese!
- You're a pathetic junkie!
- Look at that asshole!
- I live the American Dream!
- I ain't a drug dealer! I'm a war veteran!
- I remember you! I know who you are!
- Oh no! That's real bad news!
- This is gonna be bad for business!
- If you have it, I'm gonna be your priest!
- I need some better customers.
- I know who you are, drug fiend!
- I'll see you in half an hour I guess.
- Customers are such losers.
- Have you ever heard of inflation?!
Black
- I gotta call my lawyer!
- Got some sticky-icky-icky homie!
- So this is the best shit man! Government issue!
- Ay, I rather slang than bang homie.
- Yo man! Why you stressin' me!
- Man! Damn! My ProLaps!
- Man! You should've smoked me CJ!
- Hey man, it's my block now!
- Man, you half dead CJ!
- Man, you half dead homie!
- You bitch made punk! You dead!
- Hey man, you tryin' to check me punk?!
- Now what's up bitch!
- CJ I'm gone! I'm gone!
- Hey, I didn't know this was your hood homie!
- Hey I don't want no problems Big CJ, haha.
- Nothing stopping me from coming up!
- Man, fool, I don't know you.
- Man you pushing me up or something?
- Hey man, see you later dawg. See ya later.
- Man, I ain't the one homie!
- I'm supposed to be dead dawg?!
- I should turn my life around?
- Sherm! Sherm! Get 'em sherm!
- I ain't GOTS to do a damn thing!
- What the hell you want mark?
- What da hell?!
Caucasian
- Excuse moi, asshole!
- I'm gonna cut you a new smile!
- This is shit man, and you know it!
- I'm gonna mess your ghetto ass up!
- This stuff is the shit!
- ASSHOLE!!
- Get a life!
- Get a fucking life!
- Come on man! Take the cash man! Let me go!
- Gotta cut this shit with washing powder.
- Gotta get my next shipment cut from San Fierro (3D Universe)
- I hope I'm not watching my house.
- Hey you got the wrong guy!
- Man you're deluded!
- Do you know who my dad is? I'm connected, ASSHOLE!
- Whatever sport!
- OK, I read you loud and clear.
- Okay man chill!
- Take it to someone who cares.
- Go screw a raccoon.
- This shit's weapon grade!
- Watch this stuff, its rocket fuel man!
- You want sliced?!
- You think you're something huh?!
- Oh you wanna do the "nasty dance" huh!
- I can't believe this shit!!
- I want my lawyer!
Rednecks
Bone County
- How come they don't allow donkeys in this bar?
- Adam and Eve was brother and sister.
- I'm telling you, horse is the new pork.
- I'm telling ya man cousins is legal, this is crazy!
- Move you dumb retard!
- So the donkey walks into a bar...
- Hey! I ain't got all day!
- You stinking piece of shit! MOVE!
- Next time I punch your face.
- You inbred or something, you can't see me?
- What do you mean change my socks?
- What a rustbucket!
- What a piece of shit car!
- I'm gonna get myself a monster truck!
- HEY! You look out!
- Hey! This is my pa's car!
- You damn Yankee!
- When d'you learn to drive?!
- Come on, punch me!
- He's got a gun!!
- Who the hell do you think you are?!
- HEY! Get off!
- Hey get back here! Where do you think you're going?!
- You've been messing with the wrong guy!
- I was gonna introduce you to my sister.
- Heck no. No.
- Hey I ain't got all day buddy!
- Pardon me!
- Hey come on man! Look out!
- What do you think of this here chrome shotgun?
- Ma and pa were past cousins.
- Donkey's afraid of a big fat man.
- Whoa man, you sure is fat.
- Oh you rude bastard.
- NOT MY BIKE!
- Oh geez! That was my favourite bike!
- Hey! I just stole this car!
- You're dead donkin' me buddy!
- Oh come on asshole!
- Out of my way!
- Come on! Gimme your best shot!
- Come on, I'm gonna break your nose!
- HELP! I'm being shot at!
- Beat it tough guy! I ain't afraid of ya!
- Bastard jacked me!
- Oh, ma's gonna be so mad!
- Hey that varmint son'bitch stole my car! Oh how am I going to get home?
- Oh pa's gonna whup me for this one!
- This here car's mine! So out you go boy!
- Watch your step on the way out! Hee hee!
- Hey I was just bein' friendly!
- You got something against donkeys?
- Hey leave me alone!
- Well hello there miss!
- Hello donkey lips!
- Have you ever lived in a trailer park?
- Sprunk an' scotch is my favourite drink.
- Cover your eyes donkey!
- This store is fancy!
- Oh I want me some of these!
- Oh, I think I'm gonna puke...
- Are you insane?!
- Step on it buddy, I'm in a mood.
- That was fast. Here's some change.
- My cousins are gonna get you for this!
- See ya later donkey hater!
- I'm the victim in this here situation!
- Now get the hell out!
- I was tryin' to be nice!
- Hey we was just talkin'!
- These bar stools sure are squishy.
- Hey let's get a move on!
- I'm gonna get angry!
- Pardon me.
- Hey mister!
- See ya later pretty lady!
- Have you ever raised donkeys.
- Dude, Burger Shot is disgusting.
- Lordy Lordy!
- I wonder if they got this in yellow?
- Would you ring me for this?
- Hey there!
- Hey that was cool!
- Sonny Jim, I'm in a rush!
- Good job, here's the change.
- Please mister, let me go!
- I'll never see my donkey again!
- You city folk are so rude.
- Yeah it's the Devil, oh it's disgusting, I can't bear it.
- I got no time for you man.
- See you later.
- Have you ever tried licking a Rusty Brown?
- Incest is a beautiful thing!
- I just love the countryside.
- I think you just killed that person!
- Howdy!
- I just can't bear the city.
- You seen my life! You've seen my donkey too?
- There is no way I'm payin' for that!
- Hey it's about time!
- Somebody help me! Hey, this guy's touchin' me!
- I'll let you touch me if you let me go!
Countryside
- Wow son, you're a big boy.
- Careful piggy!
- Grandpa got caught in the pig pen, I love a squealer.
- Why are you driving like that?
- Ya hit my car! What did you do that for?!
- Oh yeah! You're real funny kid!
- Go screw your own pigs! You ain't having her!
- Get away from my home!
- Howdy, partner!
- Hello she-male!
- Have you ever shot a dog?
- Inbreeding ain't so bad.
- Did piggy make it?
- This guy's insane! This must be judgement day!
- Dude, can I get out of here?
- Move it, numbnuts!
- Move!
- Move your ass!
- Come on move!
- Open your eyes, boy!
- Mama and papa are close cousins.
- Those little curly tails freak me out.
- Some peope say swine is fat.
- I love that car, is that real?
- Don't shoot! I don't wanna die!
- Keep yer dirty hands off me!
- ARGH, off! Get off me!
- You can't just carjack me!
- You ain't robbin' me piggy!
- Oh yeah?!
- Have you liked pink pigs?
- Have you shot a dog?
- I have a fat hog.
- What's money? Is that a gun? It's useless.
- Woah, hey!
- Watch it!
- You're mine, piggy!
- I cannot wait a minute!
- My mama showed me how to fight!
- I'm gonna make you real sorry!
- You're gonna regret the day you came here!
Girlfriends
Katie Zhan
- Hey Carl! (When starting a date)
- Hey ya, CJ!
- Hey CJ!
- Those Epsilon nutjobs freak me out. (talking to CJ)
- Necrophilia is too far, even for me.
- OG Loc? "OG Joke" is more like it.
- Madd Dogg is my favorite rapper.
- You should come down to the dojo more often.
- I love to work in the ER, it gives me a thrill.
- I've been a nurse for three years now!
- Oh yeah, wow! (When CJ crashes his car)
- Shit that was good!
- Man, this gets me so hot!
- CJ, you're insane, I love you!
- You're the worst driver ever, I love it!
- You're mad, CJ, I love it!
- That's it, CJ, push it, faster!
- Come on CJ, push it!
- Faster, you little wimp! Faster!
- I'm so hot right now!
- Oh baby, the car could blow up at the moment! (when car is on fire)
- I love it, we're on fire!
- Oh Carl, I hurt, but I love it!
- So close to death yet so alive...
- Use your eyes!
- How rude!
- Hey!
- Watch yourself! (bumped into)
- Wake up!
- Hey, look where you're going!
Denise Robinson
- Wassup, Romeo? (when starting a date)
- Hey there. (when starting a date)
- I'm hungry, let's eat!
- Good call on the meal!
- Loved that food, Romeo.
- Take me away from all of it.
- Take me back to my crib.
- I had three kids but i gave them away.
- I wanna open a beauty shop one day.
- Carl, i ain't just a cheap fling.
- I ain't just some hood rat, CJ.
- I've always been into gangbanging.
- Cool around here!
- Ain't it great around here, CJ?
- Relax, you busta. (when crashing the car)
- CJ, my nails! (when crashing the car)
- I don't wanna die yet! (when crashing the car)
- We should blast on some fools since we're here.
- Let's go dump on some bustas, come on!
- Can you take me home, baby?
Michelle Cannes
- Cars are the only thing i care about, man.
- My first car was a Perennial.
- Started racing bikes when i was twelve.
- CJ, you're a dream date.
- I'm free falling for you!
- Look at this place, it's a hole!
- CJ, you're a maniac!
- CJ, you're crazy!
Barbara Schternvart
- Hello again, Mr. Johnson. (when starting a date)
- Crime figures have shot up all over the state.
- You don't get much drug-related crime out here in the desert.
- This whole desert's crawling with CIA.
- I could shoot you and no one would say a thing.
- I got two kids and my job to hold down.
- My husband called me a control freak.
- Not that many men would go out with a female cop.
- We had a plane crash over by The Big Ear.
- See what happens when you push it? (when crashing the car)
- You're breaking the law, slow down! (when driving too fast)
- There, you see, you can behave well.
Helena Wankstein
- Isn't it really spiritual around here?
- I went to a private school, we're in a slum.
- Is this where you take a nice girl?
- In my own awful way, i love you.
- Come on, a little quicker would be nice. (when driving too slow)
- What are we waiting for? (when driving too slow)
- Are you on drugs? (when driving too slow)
- Take me home, baby.
- I'm a very unhappy person.
- Slow down! (when driving too fast)
- I don't wanna die in a traffic accident! (when driving too fast)
- I'm a lawyer, slow down! (when driving too fast)
- Stop doing that or i'll shoot you in the head. (when crashing the car)
- If i'm honest, Carl, i'm using you.
- I've made so much money out of divorce.
- Calm down, you asshole. (when crashing the car)
Other
Biker
- You think I'm bad at knitting?!
- Careful asshole!
- Here I come! Ready or not!
- Is that coff designer ink?
- City tattoo artists are gettin' good!
- I'm coming after you jerkoff!
- Nobody touches my bike!
- Oil cans make good flower pots.
- What're you doing out here?
- Eat my leather!
- Hope you like the taste of black leather!
- Violence isn't the answer man.
- YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT!!!
- I'm gonna find you!
- That was a price for my old lady!
- Forget it, no way man.
- Hello, little lady.
- Howdy partner!
- Adiós, amigo!
- You like the tits on those Venturas waitresses?
- Burger Shot was made from roadkill.
Los Santos taxi driver
- Why did I take this route?!
- Green means "go"!
- You're on with this car crash bullshit!
- I got a nephew with LSPD.
- Gun rhymes with run! You see? That's why I don't stop you little thugs!
- I'm so sick of these Los Santos gang wars and it's so easy they turned it so bad.
- These honks be honking in praise, you know?
- Watch the road!
- I just bought this taxi!!
- I just collected a lot of sprunk cans for this car!
- I'm pressing charges!
- I'm gonna put my shoe up your poop shoot!
- No liquor thanks, I'm on duty.
- Sprunk on the rocks.
- Gotta go! Gotta go! I don't feel too bulletproof! And then they go bangin' again!
- Oh no! This is where I get off! Boy, this is not the wild west!
- I feel shame for your mother!
- HELP!! LSPD!! You demon bastard! My cab!
- You revived me? Those gangbangers do this?! What the hell is going on here?
- Get ready for an ass whoopin'!
- You think this is a parade!
- You blew your chance for friendship.
- Bangers and jackers! The future of Los Santos!
- I don't bang son, relax.
- Mouth to mouth? Hey, don't look at me.
- You got a glass jaw, baby gangsta!
- Papa don't take no jive!
- Come here, I wanna tell ya somethin'!
- Gettin' served by an old man!
- Turn the other cheek, boy!
- The bones are brittle but the jab is stiff!
- Knockin' you out and crackin' a Sprunk!
Specific pedestrian (not appearing normally)
This pedestrian appears in an Flat-top haircut with goatee, wearing a light blue hoodie, a pair of ivory pants and black low-tops. They won't appear on streets in normal occasions. He may also comment on Carl himself, but some strategies must be used to do so.
- Come on, man, move!
- Move, homie!
- Ahh, this fool!...
- Raise up dude!
- Damn you ruin my ride!
- Make it a step!
- Ah, man...
- Hey, chill out, homie! (when bumped into)
- Easy, partner, watch out! (when bumped into)
- Watch out fool! (when bumped into)
Trivia
- Some central or main characters have quotes when Carl bumps into them or attacks them to make them retaliate, but they are not displayed on-screen. If they are in a flipped or incinerating vehicle, or the vehicle CJ is driving gets crashed or is controlled with a high speed, especially during a certain mission, they will shout out something. These characters at least include Sweet, Ryder, Big Smoke, Cesar Vialpando, The Truth, OG Loc, T-Bone Mendez, and some mission targets.
Grand Theft Auto dialogues by game | |
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GTA 2 | GTA III | GTA Vice City | GTA San Andreas | GTA Advance | GTA Liberty City Stories | GTA Vice City Stories | GTA IV | GTA Chinatown Wars | GTA V |