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This is a list of non-mission dialogues in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

Carl Johnson

Being arrested

Note: The following lines did not exist in the beta version.

  • Do I look like a gangster? I’m a businessman! (when he's rich)
  • What, you ran out of donuts?
  • You can talk about this in the shower with your buddies! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • Fuck you po-po!
  • Enough now, po-po!
  • Just shut up!
  • I ain't scared of you, bitch!
  • I don't want y'all doing nothing funny to me at the station.
  • Well done, cop. Well done.
  • Ahhh, screw you, cop!
  • You like big man, huh? (when he's fat)
  • My tax money go to this shit!?
  • Shut up, bitch! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • Shut the fuck up, bitch! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • Shut up, po-po! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • Fuck you! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • Shut it, punk! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • I'll find you, fool! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • I ain't scared! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • You suck, asshole! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • You're boring me! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • You gonna fail me, calling you a bitch, bitch?!? (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • Fuck you, asshole.
  • I don't give a shit!
  • You can't stop me, punk-ass cop bitch!
  • Whatever motherfucker, you don't scare me!
  • You asshole! I'm too fat to run. (when he's fat)
  • Give me something to eat! (when he's fat)
  • I'd come quietly if y'all feeding me. (when he's fat)
  • I'll ruin your career for this! (when he's rich)
  • C'mon officer, I ain't no gangster! (when he's rich)
  • I can't run no more, po-po. (when he's fat)
  • Okay, okay! Shut up and give me something to eat. (when he's fat)
  • Do I look like I enjoy a foot chase? (when he's fat)
  • You're wasting your breath!
  • You got some spare donuts? I'm hungry. (when he's fat)
  • I don't give a shit. I'm bored, and hungry. (when he's fat)
  • Ah, shut up po-po. Give me a pizza. (when he's fat)
  • Can I get a pizza over here? (When he's fat)
  • Well done, you've caught a fat bastard. (When he's fat)
  • I'm tired of running! And I'm tired of your shit! (when he's fat)
  • Look, I'm fat and out of shape, unlike all you chumps. (when he's fat)
  • If I was in shape, y'all wouldn't catch me. (when he's fat)
  • I swear I didn't do shit. (when he's rich)
  • Officer, there must be some mistake. (when he's rich)
  • Sir, I fear you're making a terrible mistake. (when he's rich)
  • Please sir, I'm just a young man trying to get ahead in life! (when he's rich)
  • Officer, untie me this instant! (when he's rich)
  • Please officer, give me a break here! (when he's rich)
  • Do I look like a street criminal sir? (when he's rich)
  • Come on, sir! I'm an honest man! (when he's rich)
  • How on earth do you enjoy your job? (when he's fat)
  • Hey there's a lot of hoodlums out there. Why you gonna pick on me? (when he's rich)
  • Let me go, and we can both forget about this. (when he's rich)
  • I got money, officer. Take it! Make your wife happy! (when he's rich)
  • You ever get bored of your own voice? (when he's fat)
  • You got some donuts we can eat? (when he's fat)
  • You get job satisfaction, huh, one-time?
  • You just a punk, po-po!
  • You gotta understand, I don't give a fuck!
  • Yeah, well done. I bet you real happy with yourself now.
  • I'm being arrested by a bitch?! I can't believe that!
  • Ah, shut up, copper, please!
  • Let me go, bitch!
  • You motherfucking fool!
  • Tell it to your wife or your husband or whatever you got!
  • Police asshole!
  • I don't care about your bullshit, copper!
  • Hey, I'm walking away from this, one-time!
  • Really frightening! I'm really scared!
  • This makes you happy, doesn't it?
  • You better lock me up, 'cause otherwise you're dead!
  • You enjoy wearing that name tag, too?
  • You're wasting your grip!
  • Enough with this bullshit, po-po!
  • Oh, you real tough bitches, huh?!
  • You got a happy life for you, mister?
  • Ah, give me a break, one-time!
  • Whatever you say, Mr. J!
  • I don't give a shit!
  • Shit, I'm glad I don't pay no taxes!
  • I'll tell you what, one time, shut your fucking mouth!
  • Oh, you're big man!
  • Just don't get no ideas with that nightstick!
  • Please, dude, do what you want, but shut up!
  • Whatever you say, po-po!
  • Come here and say that, bitch!
  • I'll rip your head off, you fuck!

Threatening someone with a gun

  • Fat man's got a gun, bitch. (when he's fat)
  • You want a hole in you? (when he's fat)
  • Yeah, fat fool's packing, bitch! (when he's fat)
  • Who a fat fool now? (when he's fat)
  • Ain't that a surprise, I got a gun!
  • It's my constitutional right, bitch!
  • Welcome to America!
  • Sup now, baby?
  • See? I gotta gun!
  • You know what this is, huh?
  • You lost the will to live, yet?
  • Hey, what's cracking now?
  • Oh shit, I got a gat.
  • What's poppin' now?
  • I'm a businessman, and this is my business!
  • You want to get ventilated, huh?
  • You want some lead in you?
  • Do you want to look like Swiss cheese? (when he's fat)
  • Hey, do you want a hole in your hair? (when he's fat)
  • Oh yeah? That's right, I'm just a mark!
  • Now don't be an idiot!
  • I'm packing heat, fool!
  • Yeah, what you gonna do now, huh?
  • Hey, what were you saying?
  • You think I'm just a fat buster!? (when he's fat)
  • You better not calling me 'fat', fool. (when he's fat)
  • I'm just a fat bitch, huh? (when he's fat)
  • Oh, look. A gun.
  • You want this to get real ugly?
  • Stay cool.
  • You're gonna stay cool, now.
  • You happy now?
  • You want me to shoot you as well?
  • G's up, fool!
  • I didn't forget how to bust!
  • This is my business, playa!
  • CJ run things now!
  • What was you saying?
  • You think I'm fat, huh? (when he's fat)
  • Now you better shut up.
  • You wanna get slapped!? (when he's fat)
  • I'm fat, but I ain't slow! (when he's fat)
  • Hey, let me show you this!
  • Oh look, a gat!
  • You got a death wish!
  • You want a hole in you?
  • You want me to blast you!
  • You enjoying yourself!
  • Yeah, got a gun in your face huh!
  • You wanna get shut up huh!
  • You wanna get blasted fool!
  • Yes a gun!
  • You want this to get ugly?
  • I'm yo bitch huh?
  • Hey, guess what, it's loaded!

Running away from the police

One Star

  • My Moms told me not to get into cars with strangers, dude!
  • Come on, people are gonna think you're hard on me!
  • Hey, I didn't do nothing!
  • What are you trying to prove, one-time!?
  • Dude, I'm innocent!
  • You ain't gonna catch me, bitch!
  • Okay, let's keep on running.
  • Did you get bullied at school, officer!?
  • You got issues, officer!
  • Bully your wife, not me!
  • You got big issues there, officer!
  • You had fun back there?
  • Grove Street is positive, dude!
  • You look like a fool!
  • You run like a bitch!
  • I didn't do shit, man. Gimme a break! (there is an alternate version of this quote, but Carl says it louder.)
  • Do we have to keep running?
  • Can't you go chase somebody else?
  • Ahh, stop treating me like a bitch!
  • Does this really make you happy, officer!?
  • Look, I can run ALL day!
  • Why'd you bother to chase me? I'm faster than you!
  • Do I dress like a gangbanger, sir!? (when he's rich)
  • I'm a respectable businessman! (when he's rich)
  • Oh, give up, copper! (when he's fat)
  • Look man, I'm well dressed, but I ain't into dudes! (when he's rich)
  • This will ruin your career! (when he's rich)
  • To catch is me going to get real ugly for both of us! (when he's rich)
  • Give up, you fucking chumps! (when he's rich)
  • Officer, I do a lot of good in the community! (when he's rich)
  • Come on, officer! (when he's rich)
  • Your jealousy is pathetic, officer! (when he's rich)
  • You should've finished college, dude, and got a real job! (when he's rich)
  • I got an important job with waste disposal! (when he's rich)
  • This is pathetic! (when he's rich)
  • Officer, you really starting to annoy me! (when he's rich)
  • C'mon man, cut that shit out! (when he's fat)
  • Come on dude, give me a break! (when he's fat)
  • You prejudicing against fat people, huh!? (when he's fat)
  • I'm almost as fat and lazy as you, man! (when he's fat)
  • I ain't running no more, copper. (when he's fat)
  • I ain't big into this running shit, man! (when he's fat)
  • This is one way to lose weight, I guess! (when he's fat)
  • I ain't into this kind of exercise! (when he's fat)
  • I ain't no athlete. (when he's fat)
  • You're some kind of a fitness instructor? (when he's fat)
  • Can't you go chase somebody else? (when he's fat)
  • Do I look like I like running? (when he's fat)
  • If you keep chasin' me, I'mma lose my cool. (when he's fat)
  • You're gonna make me lose my temper, po-po. (when he's fat)
  • I know I need more exercise, but not like this! (when he's fat)
  • Make food, not war. That's my motto! (when he's fat)
  • Dude, I ain't into this running shit! (when he's fat)
  • I realize I didn't enjoy this. (when he's fat)
  • Give up! Pretend I outran you! (when he's rich)
  • This is harassment!
  • Hey man, you're creeping me out!
  • You must be a punk at school, huh?
  • Why are you chasing me? Your wife is lonely!
  • I ain't into the dude thing, man!
  • I'm in the Peace Corps, man!
  • I ain't no gangbanger!
  • I'm only running because you're chasing me!
  • I ain't no banger!
  • I'm innocent, po-po!
  • Grove Street ain't a gang!
  • Can't you chase a dude who wanna be chased?
  • You getting bored of this?
  • Is this your idea of fun?
  • IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A GOOD TIME?!
  • Come on dude, I'm innocent!
  • I think you should go and see a shrink, officer!

Two-Three Stars

  • You dick!
  • You ain't scaring me, and you ain't stopping me!
  • I'd give up now if I was you!
  • Come on, tough guy!
  • You want me to stop, huh?
  • You really want to fight me?!
  • Make your life longer, stop running!
  • I ain't into this shit!
  • You think I'm a give-up?
  • I don't want a nightstick up the ass!
  • Y'all want me to stop running?
  • Give me a break! (in an exhausting tone)
  • You like wearing a uniform, huh?
  • You really want this to get messy, huh?
  • You really want me to stop and start shooting at you?
  • Screw you!
  • You think you're hard, huh?
  • Come on, then! Let's do this!
  • I ain't backing down, bitch!
  • I'm about to lose my temper!
  • I ain't stopping, punk!

Four-Six Stars

  • I ain't your bitch, officer!
  • Cop asshole!
  • Bring it on!
  • Bitches!
  • It's on now!
  • Ain't you got nothing else to do?!
  • This gonna get real nasty, fool!
  • If I stop, you're dead!
  • You're a dickhead!
  • Punk-ass buster!
  • You got a job with a name badge, fool?!
  • You assholes!
  • You clowns!
  • You motherfuckers!
  • You're fucking with a maniac!
  • You want me?! Come get me!
  • Think about it! Stop running, fool!
  • I'm down for this shit!
  • GIVE ME A BREAK! (in a more aggressive tone)
  • Hey, go chase some other fool!
  • Don't make me turn around, fool!
  • Punks!
  • Hey, this could get very ugly in a minute!
  • Hey, this could get real ugly in a minute!
  • You won't catch me, fool!
  • You're really pissing me off!
  • You think you're hard, officer?!
  • You're getting on my nerves!
  • Don't make me stop running, fool!
  • Come on and get me, asshole!

Two-Six Stars (Gangsta)

  • I think you should stop with that shit!
  • Bribe-taking assholes!
  • Ain't no one paid your ass off yet, huh?!
  • BITCHES!
  • You punk-ass po-po bitches!
  • Get the army, I'm a fucking maniac!
  • Idiots!
  • Give up, motherfuckers!
  • You think I'm a bitch, huh?!
  • You motherfucking fool!
  • You should stop blasting on me, fool!
  • Stay the fuck away from me!
  • It's on now, bitches!
  • Keep on with this shit, you'll be sorry!
  • You can't stop me, dude!

Car-jacking

  • Welcome to San Andreas, fool.
  • Remember, heroes get killed.
  • Partner, this is straight jacking!
  • Shit fool, you just got jacked!
  • Let me drive for you.
  • Give me this fucking car!
  • Would you want to be a victim of a car jacking? Or a homicide?
  • I'm having that!
  • It's a robbery, don't make it a murder!
  • Out now!
  • Ain't this what they mean by "carpool"?
  • I need that shit you driving!
  • What'd you expect? It's America.
  • Don't make me freak on you!
  • You gonna have to walk now, sucker!
  • I realize this ain't cool but forgive me.
  • I'm having this!
  • Hey forgive me, I don't know no better.
  • Grove Street's having your car!
  • Hey act cool now, it's just a robbery.
  • Out, playa!
  • Gimme that fucking vehicle!
  • Hey, act cool and you still can live, playa.
  • You don't wanna die, do you?
  • I'm a loser, so hate me!
  • Get outta the ride!
  • This is car-jacking, playa!
  • Don't take this personal, but you getting jacked!
  • Get out the car!
  • Get outta here punk!
  • I'm sorry I had difficult childhood!
  • Roll up outta here. NOW!
  • That's MINE!
  • Be cool, it's just a jacking.
  • Gimme your whip fool!
  • You could run, or get a beatin'. Easy choice, huh?
  • Don't blame me; blame society.
  • C'mon tough guy, I need your car! (when he's fat)
  • It's a just a little robbery...
  • Don't sweat it. It's just a jacking.
  • Get out, playa!
  • Fat man needs your car. (when he's fat)
  • Come on buddy, get out of the car!
  • Fat Carl wants your ride, peewee! (when he's fat)
  • I'm afraid the fat man needs your car. (when he's fat)
  • Now act cool. Run away! (when he's fat)
  • I'm fat, but I ain't useless. (when he's fat)
  • Caught slipping again!
  • Hey, get out the car gangster.
  • Heroes get popped, move!
  • Blame society man!
  • Get out the vehicle!
  • Fuck around and I'll murder you, punk!
  • Police! Get out of the car! (cop uniform)
  • I'm investigating a murder and I need your car, honest! (cop uniform)
  • I need this, police business! (cop uniform)
  • Come on lady, I'm an undercover! I need your car! (cop uniform)
  • Come on, get outta there!
  • You've been slipping again, huh?
  • Get out of the car, bitch!
  • Let's move on.
  • Go on fool, out!
  • Don't make me shoot you homie!
  • I need that vehicle!
  • OUT!
  • Come on, you need to exercise more!
  • Excuse me, sir!
  • I need your car homie!
  • Come on, get out the car.
  • Play cool and you're gonna be fine.
  • I need the wheels, amigo.
  • I'm harder than you. Don't make me prove it! (when he's fat)
  • Don't sweat it. It's just a car.
  • I don't do nothing but rob fools like you!
  • Hey, I'm sorry!
  • Can I borrow your car, sir?
  • You ain't been hurt yet, so be cool!
  • Ohh, you got car-slipping again!
  • Get the vehicle up, now!
  • I'm having this car!
  • Hey, I'm just a street criminal, what can I say?!
  • Hey, I'll take that!
  • I'm jacking your sorry ass, punk!
  • What can I say? I'm a bad man!
  • You got the car of my dreams!
  • Hey, it's just a car man!
  • I know this seems bad, but it could've been worse!
  • Homie, this is straight jacking!
  • Make a fool happy!
  • I'm jacking your sorry-ass car!
  • I need this, I'm sorry!
  • Now run or you'll get hurt!
  • Chill, I'm just taking your car!
  • I'm liberating your car, fool!
  • Get out, punk!
  • It's only a car crime, fool.
  • My bad, homie!
  • You got carjacked, fool!
  • We both still cool, so run away!
  • You've been robbed, but you still breathing!
  • Give me that!
  • I'mma need to borrow your whip, man!
  • America's a cold place, baby!
  • I'll take that.
  • Come on, partner!
  • This is straight jacking!
  • Now you can buy a new one!
  • Out of the motherfucking whip, bitch!
  • You gettin' jacked!
  • Dude, give me that ride!
  • I know jacking a bitch ain't cool, but I need this whip!
  • Out, fool!
  • Out the car, homie!
  • Don't take this the wrong way.
  • Yeah, you got jacked, but you still breathing. Get on!
  • You don't look like you need this!
  • I know I ain't exactly a gentleman! (when the victim's a woman)
  • I'm having your ride, dear!
  • Hey, I'm ashamed of myself, already!
  • My need is greater than yours, pal!
  • Out now! (when he's rich)
  • This nothing personal, I'm just a criminal!
  • C'mon lady! I need the car! (when the victim's a woman)
  • Mess with me, and I'll put you in the ground! (when he's fat)
  • You got grappled, not capped. Keep it like that! (when he's fat)
  • I like opening doors for ladies. Get out! (when the victim's a woman)
  • Lady, I'm very sorry about this! (when the victim's a woman)
  • Give me that ride, lady! (when the victim's a woman)
  • Hey, I'm always told to help a lady out of the car! (when the victim's a woman)
  • Forgive me, lady! (when the victim's a woman)
  • Lady, this is nothing personal. Keep it that way! (when the victim's a woman)
  • Out, lady! (when the victim's a woman)
  • Come on, lady, get lost! (when the victim's a woman)
  • Move! A gorgeous lady like you need a better car than this! (when the victim's a woman)
  • Don't look at me bitch, get out! (when the victim's a woman)
  • I need your ride, lady! (when the victim's a woman)
  • I know you're a woman but I'm desperate! (when the victim's a woman)
  • I need that car, lady! (when the victim's a woman)
  • Forgive me but this is urgent!
  • Come on, I'm in a hurry!
  • Hey, it's just a jacking, so be cool! (when he's fat)
  • I'm too fat to walk anymore, punk! (when he's fat)
  • Don't let your ego get in the way of your survival! (when he's fat)
  • Don't make me kick your head in! (when he's fat)
  • Lady, I'm sorry I'm fat and lazy. (when he's fat)
  • I know this doesn't help, but my family is messed up. (when he's fat)
  • I need you whip, fool. (when he's fat)
  • Hey man, it's just a car. (when he's fat)
  • Relax, lady! Your insurance will pay, and you ain't hurt! (when he's fat)
  • It's an ugly car anyway!
  • Get out, playa!
  • I need that vehicle!

Stealing a bike

  • Gimme that fucking bike!
  • Damn, you fell off?
  • Gravity's a bitch, huh?
  • Ain't that a shame; you've been knocked out the game!
  • You ain't gonna cry now are you?
  • Off the bike!
  • I'm having that bike!
  • Go fuck yourself!
  • What? You expecting an apology?
  • The bike! NOW!
  • Sorry, I'm a criminal.
  • You got bike-jacked, fool!
  • Get off that bike!
  • I'm into jacking gang, baby!
  • Now don't make this get really ugly.
  • You just got jacked!
  • I'm a bike thief, idiot!
  • OFF!
  • Don't mind me!
  • Keep quiet and you won't get beat up over no bike.
  • You want a beating as well?
  • Gimme that bike!
  • Now run or die, punk!
  • Oops! Sorry about that.
  • Don't make this worse for yourself!
  • I'mma have to borrow this bike!
  • I want your bike!
  • I need your bike!
  • It's nothing personal, I'm just a criminal!
  • Sorry, but you're getting jacked!
  • I'm having this bike!
  • Shut up and get outta here! (when he's rich)
  • You don't wanna die, do you?
  • GET yo' ass outta here.
  • Hey, I need that bike!
  • At least you got jacked by a pro!
  • It's a tough neighborhood!
  • Give me that!
  • Off the damn bike, fool!
  • Get the fuck outta here!
  • I need to borrow this bike bitch!
  • Aw, what's wrong?
  • Didn't somebody tell you bikes are dangerous?
  • You okay? ...I hope not!
  • Aww, you fell of your bike!
  • Sorry about that. Now fuck off!
  • Give me that bike and fuck off!
  • Give me this, bitch!
  • You just lost your bike!
  • You wanna get FLATTENED!? (when he's fat)
  • Gimme that bike, peewee! (when he's fat)
  • At least I didn't break your neck! (when he's rich)
  • Ooh, that look painful!
  • YOU DON'T NEED THIS BIKE!

Crashing into another vehicle

  • Did you buy your license?
  • Inbreeding makes you dumb, huh?
  • My car!
  • Ah, well done!
  • What kind of license you got?! A fishing license?!
  • Whats your poison: grin or gin?
  • You one serious fool!
  • Ah, for fuck's sake!
  • You buster!
  • Thank you, you moron!
  • My car! My fucking car!
  • You have a bad week, huh? I'll make it worse, for that!
  • I might be dressed okay, but I can still mess you up for that!
  • Your mama must be proud of your driving, fool!
  • You're out of your mind!
  • Fuck, you hit me!
  • Shit!
  • Damn! My whip!
  • Did you steal your license?!
  • You hit me! I'mma hit you back!
  • Idiot!
  • Homie, I ain't enjoying this, neither would you!
  • What in fuck's name are you doing?!
  • My ride! Fool!
  • Fuck you!
  • Ah man, you went smashing up my whip!
  • Ahhh, screw you!
  • Look where you going!
  • What you been drinking?!
  • How you allowed to drive if you blind?!
  • Ah! What you doing my wheels?
  • Oh, you asshole! My shit!
  • Can anybody in this state drive?!
  • You even got a license, huh!?
  • Oh homie, you're fucked up now!
  • You've been drinking brake fluid!
  • I ain't got time for this shit!
  • Real slick, homie!
  • You spend too long in the sun, moron!
  • Ahhh G!
  • I've seen some idiots in my time, but you're special!
  • You a comedian asshole?!
  • Ohh, shit!
  • You hit my car, dumbass!
  • Ah, this ain't exactly funny!
  • You better apologize before I get out and hit you!
  • You think that's funny?
  • You laughing, bitch?!
  • I ain't laughing, asshole!
  • What you on, fool?!
  • You're a complete fucking moron!
  • Buster!
  • Fantastic! You hit me!
  • Argh, I might get ugly on your ass, playa!
  • You're fucking with a psycho, bitch!
  • Ah, thanks! I really needed you to drive into me!
  • Well done. Brilliant driving!
  • Motherfucking bitch!
  • Asshole!
  • My whip, asshole!
  • Don't hit me again!
  • Come on, asshole!
  • Homie, you tryna fuck with me!?
  • Ahh, you really trying my patience, man!
  • You better be drunk!
  • Motherfucker!
  • You want me to smash you now?
  • Thanks dude. Thanks a lot!
  • You hit me!
  • My whip!
  • I'm straight mad now, fool!
  • You know what I did to get this ride, homie!?
  • I can't believe you hit me!
  • Who let you out of the mental home?
  • Ahh, my whip!
  • Are you mentally fit to drive?!
  • You better wake up in there!
  • Ah, man, thanks for that!
  • Fuck you, man!
  • You better stop treating me like a bitch, bitch!
  • I'm really losing my shit now!
  • You hit me fool!
  • Who let you drive!?
  • You fool!
  • Fool!
  • You fucked my car up!
  • Do I sound like I'm laughing, asshole?!
  • What are you doing?!
  • Don't hit my ride again, punk!
  • Thanks!
  • You ruined my look, friend!
  • My wheels, fool!
  • I'm not in the mood for your bullshit!
  • What's your problem?
  • You wrecked my shit!
  • I can't believe this shit!
  • Motherfucker!
  • You punk-ass bitch!
  • Punk-ass bitch motherfucker!
  • Damn!
  • You chump! You hit me!
  • How did you not see my car!?
  • What you want, fool?!
  • You mark!
  • Look out!
  • Ooh, I owe you one now, homie!
  • You're in bad luck! I'm in a shitty mood!
  • Get off the road!
  • You hit me, you fool!
  • Thanks man! I appreciate that!
  • I appreciate that. Thanks.
  • Are you a professional moron? Or just a gifted amateur?
  • Aw, I wanna immigrate from here!
  • I'll break your neck for that!
  • Man, we're gonna have some words about that!
  • I'll smash you up for that!
  • I'm gonna need you to apologize, bitch!
  • What wonderful driving!
  • Who let you out of the hospital!?
  • You wanna fight, asshole?
  • You smashed my car, fool!
  • You hit me, asshole!
  • You hit me, punk!
  • Thanks homie!
  • Ah man, how did you not see me!?
  • Come on, asshole!
  • Ah, fuck you too!
  • Aw, man!
  • Somebody gonna be mad at you for screwing up their ride.
  • You out your mind, moron?!
  • You trying to ruin my day, asshole?!
  • Get out the way!
  • My ride!
  • Dumbass mark!
  • Hey!

Falling from a building or airplane

  • Oh shit!
  • Damn!
  • What the fuck!
  • Bullshit!
  • I don't need this shit!
  • Oh motherfucker!
  • I hate gravity!
  • Shit, damn!
  • Aaaah!
  • Oh fuck, shit!
  • Noooo!
  • Aw hell naw!
  • Oh no!
  • Aaaah, no!

Being car-jacked

  • Get those dirty hands off me! (when he's rich)
  • I need to exercise anyway. (when he's fat)
  • How the fuck can you pull me around? (when he's fat)
  • Oh man, I hate walking! (when he's fat)
  • You ain't having my ride! (when he's fat)
  • You want a party, bitch!? (when he's rich)
  • Nobody jacks big CJ! (when he's fat)
  • You can't just car jack the fat man...! (when he's fat)
  • Hands off, you little bastard! (when he's fat)
  • Unhand my blubber, asshole! (when he's fat)
  • Oh man, I can't walk for shit! (when he's fat)
  • I do the jacking, I don't get jacked!
  • I might look rich, but I ain't some fool! (when he's rich)
  • Asshole!
  • I invented that, motherfucker!
  • Fool!
  • Not me, you dumb!
  • You're dead, motherfucker!
  • Ah man, you're fucked up! (when he's rich)
  • Ahh, you're such an asshole!
  • It's on now, fool!
  • Your life just took a very wrong turn.
  • Hands off, punk!
  • I like your style, heh, and you're gonna like mine when you see it.
  • Hey!
  • Not this crap again.
  • Think you hard, huh, playa!? (when he's rich)
  • No you don't!
  • Ahh, very funny!
  • You piece of shit!
  • Bitch!
  • NOT MY RIDE, PLAYA! (when he's rich)
  • Oh, you think this is funny?
  • GSF ain't your bitch!
  • Unhand me, bitch!
  • I need this car, man. I can hardly walk! (when he's fat)
  • You ain't get away with this, fool!
  • Not this car!
  • Nobody does that to Grove Street!
  • You're about to get dealt with!
  • You can't jack me!
  • Aw, what's wrong with this place?!
  • Hey, you fool!
  • What am I? Your step child!?
  • I ain't your buster!
  • Ah, come on man, that ain't cool!
  • Hey, fuck off, now!
  • I ain't your bitch!
  • You moron!
  • You can't jack a Grove Street!
  • My car, fool!
  • No you fucking don't!
  • You gonna regret that!
  • Oh, man!
  • HEY!
  • You gonna be put on the ground!
  • Hey, get off!
  • Okay! We got a problem here, playa! (when he's rich)
  • A fool like you can't jack me!
  • I've seen your face, sucker!
  • I guess I deserved this.
  • You dumb hog motherfucker!
  • NOT THIS RIDE, PLAYA! (when he's rich)
  • Hey, fuck off!
  • Get that back, now!
  • I ain't in the mood for this shit.
  • I need this car!
  • Get off me!
  • You should've killed me!
  • Incredible. A jacking with a deathwish!
  • Ohh, think you can jack a playa, huh? (when he's rich)
  • You gonna get messed up for that!
  • No one jacks me!
  • I can't believe you just did that!
  • You asshole trick!
  • Nobody jacks big daddy! (when he's fat)
  • You little asshole! Pick on somebody thinner! (when he's fat)
  • You!? Carjacking me!? (when he's fat)
  • Who you think you messing with!?
  • I ain't feeling this shit! (when he's fat)
  • I'm too fat for this shit! (when he's fat)
  • You little punk! (when he's fat)
  • I don't wanna be another crime statistic!
  • You motherfuck!
  • Ahh, where the police when you need them?
  • No no no!
  • Get your lil punk-ass off me!
  • Just because I look fine, I ain't a bitch! (when he's rich)
  • You callin' me a buster, punk!?
  • Hey, I invented that, fool!
  • Don't rip the clothes, dude! (when he's rich)
  • You're about to get whacked, playa!
  • What the fuck are you doing!?
  • Get off me, partner!
  • Ah man, you picked the wrong man to jack!
  • I do the jacking around here, bitch!
  • Nobody jacks me, playa!
  • Not now!
  • You wanna get murdered, huh!?
  • You think I'm a mark, mark!?
  • Man, what you jack a Grove Street for?
  • Do I look like a punk to you?
  • Ah, real smart! Carjacking a psychopath!
  • You gonna get slapped, fool!
  • You got heart. No brain, though!
  • Who do you think you're jacking, moron?!
  • Oh playa, you picked the wrong one to jack!
  • You shouldn't done that!
  • Fucking chump, get off me!
  • Not this playa, partner! (when he's rich)
  • What you think this is, bitch?!
  • You gonna regret that, dude. (when he's rich)
  • That's a decent technique, bitch! But mine's better.
  • Ah, man! You gotta be out your mind!
  • Ahh, you just fucked up big time.
  • You ain't having this whip, fool!
  • Wrong option, pal!
  • Get your fucking hands off!
  • Get off my car!
  • Nobody jacks CJ!
  • Fuck you!
  • Get your hands off me, buster!
  • I'll kill you, you fuck!
  • Get off me, mark!
  • I ain't got time for this bullshit!
  • You moron!
  • You punk!
  • I hope you do drugs, cause otherwise you're real dumb!
  • No, you don't!
  • You ain't getting my ride that easy, fool!
  • Oh homeboy, I've had enough for this! (when he's rich)
  • Do you know who I am, fool?!
  • You can't jack me!
  • Yeah, I appreciate that!
  • What you think I am, huh!?
  • Baby, you shouldn't done that! (when he's rich)
  • Ah, you obviously don't know who I am!
  • Oh, tough guy, huh?
  • I must be slippin', get jacked by a buster like you!
  • Do you know who I am!?
  • What you think you're doing?
  • We both know you're gonna regret this!

Fighting

  • Make it easy on yourself and run away!
  • Come on! Fight then!
  • Come on! Punch!
  • This gonna be easy bitch!
  • Oh, you real hard huh?
  • I warn you, I don't give a fuck!
  • You got scraps huh?
  • You got scraps huh bitch?
  • You think you tough?
  • Do you know who your fucking with?
  • Head up, you and me!
  • You're fucking with Carl Johnson! (when he has a 2-3 star wanted level)
  • You know who you up against?
  • You know who you messing with?
  • It's your funeral asshole!
  • You bitch!
  • You should back down and run away!
  • It's my constitutional right, bitch!
  • You little punk!
  • Run away fool!
  • You gonna back down soon?
  • Run away bitch!
  • Hey, even my brother had already called me a buster!
  • Come on! Show me what you got!
  • Toe to Toe fool!
  • Come on asshole, then fight!
  • You just a bitch!
  • You dead motherfucker!
  • Come on, fool, run away.
  • Is that the best you got?
  • Nobody punches CJ!
  • I'm your worst nightmare fool, so give up!
  • You think you can take me on, you punk?
  • Give up, homeboy.
  • Let's do it, come on!
  • Hey, I'm a positive role model!
  • Oh, you think your hard?
  • Don't hit me, I might cry.
  • Okay, just try not to hurt me!
  • Marquess of Queensberry rules only, baby.
  • You calling CJ a bitch?
  • You in a whole lot of trouble tough guy.
  • Go on, run away homie.
  • Let's go bitch.
  • Trust me, I don't give a shit.
  • Hit me then, homeboy.
  • You're fucking with a maniac!
  • Let's do it, come on.
  • It's on now!
  • Run away, save yourself!
  • I'm a man of peace, baby!
  • I'm trying to be a good person!
  • You punk-ass bitch! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • I ain't your bitch! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • What you think this is, bitch?! (when he has a 4-6 star wanted level)
  • I'm a well dressed maniac, fool! (when he's rich)
  • I ain't just some bitch you can slap about! (when he's rich)
  • It's on now, you and me! (when he's rich)
  • I may look good but I'm a maniac! (when he's rich)
  • I'm rich and fucking crazy! (when he's rich)
  • Just don't ruin my clothes! (when he's rich)
  • I wear nice clothes but I'm a killer! (when he's rich)
  • I'm well dressed but I still ain't a bitch! (when he's rich)

When he's fat

  • I ain't a fat bitch, bitch!
  • I'mma eat you, fool!
  • You can't take CJ out!
  • You lil bitch!
  • I'm gonna flatten you, fucker!
  • I'm big but I ain't slow!
  • You got a problem with the big man, huh!?
  • C'mon, fool, c'mon!
  • I'll put you to sleep, punk!
  • Who you callin' a fat slob?
  • I'mma put you to sleep, punk!
  • You got a problem with the big man, huh!
  • I ain't just a fat slob, asshole!
  • CJ, remember that name!
  • You think you can deal with the fat man, huh!?
  • I got weight on my side.
  • Let's go!
  • Stand still!
  • Hey, it's muscle under this fat, punk!
  • I'd rather do a drive-thru than a drive-by!

When he's robust

  • I'm gangsta.
  • I'm showstopper!
  • I ain't called Mr. Muscle for nothin'.
  • I'm big and fast.
  • Who you callin' a bendico?
  • You got a problem with Mr. Muscle Man, huh!
  • I ain't takin' this shit fool!
  • I got muscle on my side.
  • Yo ass is a waste of time, fool!

Killing pedestrians

  • Welcome to America!
  • Yeah, I'll shoot you in your face!
  • I'm a punk? Am I?
  • Welcome to San Andreas!
  • I don't give a fuck!
  • I'm a lunatic, fool!
  • I'm a well dressed maniac, fool!
  • Just don't mess up my outfit!
  • Bitches!
  • Welcome to Ganton, fool!
  • Bang, bang, bang!
  • Asshole!
  • You should of stayed at home.
  • You tricks!
  • Punk ass bitches!
  • You mark!
  • G.S.F. for life!
  • Screw you, asshole!
  • You should have stayed the fuck out of my way!
  • Aw not everybody having a good time huh!
  • Screw you!
  • Do I look like a dumb fool!
  • You think I'm a fool huh!
  • It's on now fool!
  • CJ and I don't give a fuck!
  • You want to fuck with me huh!
  • It's on!
  • Fuck you!
  • You really wanted this huh!
  • CJ you remember that!
  • You buster!wh
  • Who'd you think you fucking with!
  • You think I'm a punk huh!
  • Nobody fucks with CJ!
  • You wanna get dumped on huh!
  • You dickhead!
  • You wanna do this!
  • You wanna fuck with me!
  • Who you think I am fool!
  • Yeah fool!
  • I wonder why I left this place!
  • You wanna get bucked on huh!

Picking up money

  • Guess you won't be needing this now.
  • This should help keep my belly full. (when he's fat)
  • Lunch money. (when he's fat)
  • I should spend this on a good meal. (when he's fat)
  • You got anything else? (when he's fat)
  • Gimme that Grip!
  • Aww you so kind.
  • Ah, look at all these papers!
  • That's very kind of you.
  • Thanks, bitch!
  • Next time you should put it in the bank!
  • I'll never turn down paper.
  • I need this more than you, I think.
  • You've got a problem, fool!
  • Is that all you got?! Cheap fool!
  • Give me them dollars!
  • Come on, pay me! I'm a real criminal.
  • I'll take that paper.
  • That's going in my retirement fund!
  • Is this for me?
  • Gimme those chips!
  • I need that!
  • Yeah, them my ducats now.
  • This ain't too classy.
  • I like to share too, thank you.
  • You don't need it, now.
  • That's cool.
  • That's my cash now, fool!
  • Now don't move!
  • Just a little money for CJ!
  • Hey, pay a ni**a!
  • This it?
  • Send 'em ducats over here!
  • Ah, you don't need it no more, huh!?
  • With a mean bastard like you around here, crime really don't pay.
  • Hey, gimme that paper!
  • Hey, I'll have that now.
  • Thanks!
  • I guess it's true, you can't take it with you.
  • Ah, thanks!
  • Y'all don't need this no more!
  • Can I have this?
  • You don't need it now.
  • This the best you got?
  • Life's a bitch, huh?
  • You don't need it no more, huh?
  • Oh, you're too kind.
  • It's going to a good cause. Me.
  • Give me that!
  • Gimme them ducats!
  • That's GSF tax, fool.
  • Share, share, you like it!
  • Cheap punk, look at this!
  • Thank you, now stay down!
  • Thank you, now shut up!
  • Shouldn't've fucked with GSF, fool!
  • Now stay the fuck down!

When the police are crashing into him

  • I'm not laughing, cop asshole!
  • You're fucking me off!

Complimenting an NPC after they praised his...

...apparel

  • These clothes? Yeah, they're tight.
  • Just some old kicks baby.
  • Just some old shoes baby. But thanks.
  • Straight. Good looking.
  • Thank you. I love these shoes, you know?
  • Fo' sho, thanks.
  • Yeah, they gangster ain't they?
  • This how Grove street kick it.
  • Thanks gangster.
  • I'm glad you like it.
  • They ain't nothing.
  • I know these shoes are tight, huh?
  • Yeah, real nice, ain't they?
  • Cool, I appreciate that.
  • Yeah, these shoes are alright.
  • Yeah cool, I take care of my feet, you know?
  • Alright. Straight gangster. Know what I'm saying?
  • My G'ed up apparel? Yeah, straight.
  • Whatch you expect, huh?
  • I gotta be honest, I agree. Thanks a lot.
  • Thanks, I love my threads too.
  • My clothes? Cool. Thank you.
  • You know a playa when you see one, huh?
  • Thank you. That's a playa sayin' thank you.
  • I've got to wear these, I'm a playa.
  • Glad somebody appreciated the style of the large man. (when he's fat)
  • I agree. I look great. (when he's fat)
  • I know. I'm hot shit. (when he's fat)
  • Look at my face, not at my feet! (when he's fat)
  • Glad you like my big style. (when he's fat)
  • Fuck the shoes! What about my body? (when he's fat)

...tattoos

  • That's why I had them hit up on me.
  • Pure gangster, homie.
  • They just tat's fool. But I got the heart to back them up.
  • Yeah pretty gangster ain't they.
  • Yeah I'm a Grove Street gangsta, what you expect?
  • Yeah I hear you, cool.
  • The tattoos? You like it? Cool.
  • I know I love this work.
  • The ink? It's a'ight, I know.
  • The tattoo? You like it? Cool.
  • I'm dressed, but I'm still a G.
  • Oh, these old tats? They a'ight.
  • Hey, that's kind.
  • Ooh... You should get one like this. (when he's fat)
  • The art? Yeah it's cool. (when he's fat)

...haircut

  • The fade? It's straight gangster.
  • My cut? You real kind.
  • This cut? Awe thanks.
  • Awe, thanks G.
  • Yeah, good lookin'.
  • Nah the fade ain't too shabby.
  • My fade? I appreciate that.
  • This cut is just my style.
  • Yeah, I love this cut right there.
  • Yeah, I got a nice haircut man.

...muscles

  • Thanks, I've been lifting a lot of weights.
  • Yeah, I've been lifting a lot, you know.
  • I lift weights because I find life empty.
  • Yeah. Cool. Fo' sho. Thank you.
  • Yeah, I lift weights cuz I'm all empty inside.
  • Awe, thanks.
  • Straight.
  • Yeah, I've been working out.
  • Yeah, I've been down to gym a lot.
  • Yeah, I've been wasting my life down the gym.
  • Thanks. I look good, but I'm an asshole.
  • Oh... Thanks. I'd been hitting the gyms.

...hygiene

  • Yeah, I've just takin' up washing, G.
  • My smell? Cool.
  • Yeah, my cologne is tight.
  • My cologne, cool? Thank you.

...car

  • My wheels? Yeah its pretty nice.
  • My car? Thanks.

Negative remark to an NPC's compliment/neutral remark to an NPC criticizing his looks

  • Hey, hey. Just get lost.
  • Leave me alone, lady.
  • I'm asking nicely: go away.
  • Uh-huh. Thanks. Now get outta here.
  • Not now, woman, not now.
  • Come on, dude. Shut up. Please.
  • Give this playa some space.
  • Playa, you're ruining my hustle.
  • Trust me, lady, I really don't care.
  • Please, lady, I ain't got time for this!
  • Please, go talk to somebody else!
  • Sister! Go on, be cool. Shut up!
  • Thanks, but I'm real busy right now.
  • Leave me the hell alone.
  • Okay, man. Do me a favor, get outta here.
  • Hey man, ain't you got family to bore?
  • You're boring me to tears. Go away!
  • Playa, please. Bore somebody else.
  • Get away from me, girl!
  • Dude, enough now!
  • Don't sweat me bitch, I'm a playa!
  • Cool... Now shut up.
  • Hey man, get outta here.
  • Run along now.
  • Whatever, man. Get lost!
  • Go trip someplace else.
  • Please, dude, not now.
  • Do me a favor... Go away.
  • My God, you're boring me. Go away!
  • Dude. Go play with the traffic or something.
  • Hey, woman, get up outta here!
  • Dude, please, shut up!
  • Hey, girl, go moan someplace else!
  • Go tell this to your wife, please.
  • Lady, you are so boring.
  • Please, I ain't got time to be bored by you.
  • Hey, shut your mouth up!
  • Hey, go on and get outta here.
  • Hey, holler at somebody else.
  • Go, woman, outta my face.
  • Lady, you'd better get lost.
  • Girl, don't sweat me.
  • Hey, lady. That's great, but leave me alone. (when he's fat)
  • You starting to seriously bore me, dog. (when he's fat)
  • Stop sweating me. I'm already sweating. (when he's fat)
  • Please... You put me off the thought of food. (when he's fat)
  • Ah, enough man, this is real boring. (when he's fat)
  • Ah, please man, not now! (when he's fat)
  • Mr. Boring, give me a break! (when he's fat)
  • You ruining my appetite. Get lost! (when he's fat)
  • Hey, lady. Give it a rest. (when he's fat)

Negative remark to an NPC after they've criticized his looks

  • Won't you shut your bitch mouth, punk!
  • Won't you fuck off, punk!
  • Go tell daddy, bitch!
  • Yeah, and you just a punk ass bitch.
  • ...And you're a fool, so we straight!
  • Ah, screw you, punk!
  • My God, you're one ugly bitch!
  • Do me a favor, go jump under a train!
  • Go bounce on your daddy's knee, bitch.
  • What are you, a trick or a ho?
  • Lady, please! Go somewhere out of my sight!
  • Yeah? But you're dating a ho, trick!
  • Yeah? But I ain't never seen a talking horse before!
  • At least kids don't cry when they see my face, bitch!
  • What you doing walking around without a bag on your face!?
  • Put on some make up, lady. A LOT of make up!
  • Hey, somebody lost the dog?
  • You ain't exactly slick, fool.
  • Where your pimp, bitch?!
  • I had a dog once that looked a lot like you.
  • You're an ugly dude.
  • And I don't wanna be like you, ugly and a punk.
  • You're terrifying the children!
  • Yeah, you're stupid and ugly, bitch!
  • Yeah. At least my woman don't look like no pig.
  • At least I look like the right gender, bitch!
  • You're scaring the kids!
  • Heh, look at you. Real playa, huh?
  • Lady, you should wear a bag over your head!
  • Wow, a camel that speaks!
  • Go away. I don't like talking to witches.
  • No wonder you ain't got no man, bitch!
  • Your parents must be ashamed of you, fool!
  • You're disgrace, fool!
  • You know what? Fuck you.
  • You should wear a bag on your face!
  • You're ruining the neighborhood! Get out of here!
  • You gotta start looking after yourself better!
  • No wonder you're all alone, bitch!
  • You pathetic, bitch.
  • Yeah? But you look like an asshole so we even.
  • Ain't you got a hole to stick your head in?
  • No wonder you're sad and lonely, woman.
  • Yeah? And you're one ugly bitch.
  • Hey, it's a zombie running about!
  • Go crawl back under a rock!
  • Wow, I just seen for myself ugliest woman in the world!
  • Wow, horse that walks on two legs! (when he's fat)
  • Shouldn't be you're on all fours? (when he's fat)
  • Get some self-respect, woman!
  • You're lame, little peewee! (when he's fat)
  • Whatever you say, you sad bitch. (when he's fat)
  • You're an eyesore, woman!
  • Heh, you ain't exactly a playa.
  • Shut up, you annoying asshole. (when he's fat)
  • Look at you, little asshole. (when he's fat)
  • You pathetic. Look at you!
  • You should eat more, fool. (when he's fat)
  • Shut your mouth and bang your mama. (when he's fat)
  • Little peewee fool! (when he's fat)
  • Hey, I eat fools like you. (when he's fat)
  • Hey little man, go be little someplace else! (when he's fat)
  • Yeah? I bet you still wet the bed. (when he's fat)
  • Yeah? Well, you're a little loser. (when he's fat.
  • Ah, shut up, ugly bitch! (when he's fat)
  • And you're a very ugly lady! (when he's fat)
  • Yeah? Well, you're repulsive. (when he's fat)
  • Yeah? Well, you make my skin crawl. (when he's fat)
  • Yeah? Well, you a dick so we both suffer. (when he's fat)
  • You're incredible! ...Incredibly boring.
  • Well why don't you go and join the line to bang your mama!
  • Whatever, bitch!
  • Lady, you crapping my style with your ugly face!
  • Lady, you're a miserable ugly person!
  • Lady, shut up!
  • Get lost lady, you got a few problems of your own!
  • Get out of here, bitch!
  • I ain't interested in your shit, bitch!
  • That's amazing, a talking dog!
  • Come here and say that, bitch!
  • You talk well for somebody who's inbred!
  • Shouldn't you wear a bell around your neck!?
  • Give me some space, buster.
  • You got a deep voice for a bitch.
  • You got hair on your face but you still a bitch.
  • Hey, I've seen harder-looking puddings than you!
  • Yeah, you're ugly, but your personality is even worse!
  • Mind your own fucking business, lady!
  • Yeah? Well you need plastic surgery, bitch!
  • Ugly bitch!
  • Move on, bitch!
  • Leave me the hell alone... bitch!
  • You chump, look at you!
  • Shut your mouth, punk!
  • Look at you, you're awful!
  • Shut up, little bitch.
  • You're an embarrassment, fool.
  • You just a bitch!
  • Ahh, man, forget you loser!
  • Shut it, cocksucker!
  • Like I give a fuck about what you think!
  • Fuck you, buster!
  • Yeah, me!? Look at you, pathetic bitch!
  • Who the fuck you think you're talking to, bitch!?
  • Fuck you, punk-ass bitch!
  • Screw you, asshole!
  • And you're such a nice woman, bitch!
  • I know a plastic surgeon can help your ugly ass!
  • Get your ugly ass outta here!
  • Bitch you're making me mad!
  • Go sleep with your sister, fool!
  • Thanks. And you're hideous!
  • Yeah? Well, you look like a man. (to a woman)
  • Wouldn't you go play on the freeway or something?
  • Yeah? Well I hope you die alone!
  • Whatever, dude. At least I ain't inbred or something!
  • At least people don't get confused about my species!
  • Yeah? Well you make babies cry when they see your face!
  • Yeah? At least I wasn't conceived in a test tube!
  • You watch your bitch-ass mind, trick!
  • Go fuck off, bitch!
  • Go play with traffic, dude!
  • Get outta here, whore man!
  • Whatever you say, asshole.
  • Hey. Give your mother's one for me, homeboy!
  • Tell it to your daddy, bitch!
  • Go fuck yourself. It's all you're gonna ever get!
  • Well you sound like a moron, so we both suffer.
  • Hey. You're too ugly to speak to me, lady.
  • Ain't you got children to go terrify?

Accepting a prostitute visit

  • Moms, I'm so sorry about this.
  • I thought you never asked!
  • You read my mind, lady. Get in!
  • Okay then, I like to party.
  • You don't have no VD do you bitch?
  • Sure baby, I like to party!
  • Okay then, I'm gonna show you a good time.
  • Oh, for sure, get in!
  • Sure, I like to party, why not?
  • Hey, as long as you're clean, I'm down.
  • Yeah, I'd like a good time...

Rejecting a prostitute visit

  • No thanks, I'm clean. I wanna keep it like that.
  • Hey, a man's got a need, but I ain't that desperate!
  • No thanks, I'm just gonna get another broken heart.
  • You ain't my type. See, I like woman.
  • No way.
  • N-O! Now, can you spell?
  • Look at me, look at you. No!
  • Hey, I don't need to pay for a friendship.
  • I ain't into animals, lady!
  • Oh please, on another planet, girl.
  • You can't afford me, girl!
  • Me, pay you? Get the fuck outta here.
  • You and me? No way.
  • No way, ho.
  • HELL NAW!
  • You ain't quite my style, lady.
  • I ain't into bestiality, woman.
  • No, I like clean woman.
  • Ah baby, I can do better than you. No offense.
  • You gotta be kidding me!
  • Get the fuck outta here!
  • Hey, I'mma tryna cleaning my act up, lady.
  • I ain't into animals, lady!
  • Hey, I'll pay you to get lost. How's that?
  • N-O.
  • Get outta here, little bitch. (when he's fat)
  • You must be trippin', I don't need to pay for it. (when he's fat)
  • No, I'd rather spend my money on food. (when he's fat)

Recruiting gang members

  • They told me you was a buster, prove me wrong.
  • I'm gonna put in some work, you down?
  • You want to represent the set, homie?
  • Homie, let's go roll down on some bustas.
  • For the Grove dude, we're gonna put some work in.
  • C'mon dude, roll wit' me.
  • C'mon man, we're families.
  • C'mon, Grove Street 4 Life dawg.
  • Let's roll homie, Families.
  • Families 4 Life homie, you down?
  • Prove you ain't no Balla or no buster homie.
  • You down bitch, or what?

Responding to enemy gang members' questions

Positively

  • Yeah that's right homie.
  • Yeah bitch, kiss my ass!
  • Yeah punk. Why?
  • Yeah punk ass bitch, for sure!
  • Yeah sucker.
  • Yeah now show me some respect bitch.
  • I am hell for you homie. Families.
  • Families, fool.
  • The original hood motherfucker, Orange Grove.
  • Orange Grove Street Families.
  • Families. Orange Grove Families.
  • OGS punk. Hear that?
  • You ain't got it yet? OGS bitch!
  • 4 Life, busta. 4 Life!
  • OGS in the house bitch.
  • OGS 4 Life bitch.
  • Orange Grove 4 Life, motherfucker.
  • The Grove, fool.
  • The Grove, perpetrator. What'cha gonna do about it!?
  • What's it to you, buster? The Grove.
  • I'm from the Grove, homeboy.

Negatively

  • No-uh.
  • No, sir.
  • Nah-uh. Nah.
  • Chill, homie. I ain't into this shit.
  • I ain't no gangbanger.

Winning at the casino

  • YES! I won!
  • Cee-Jayy!
  • Show me some money!
  • Look at me now!
  • We shutting down Cluckin' Bells, tonight! (when he's fat)
  • Look at me and weep, assholes. I won. (when he's fat)
  • Look at me and weep! (when he's fat)
  • I win!
  • What a surprise, I won again. (when he's fat)
  • Look at that, I won!
  • Oh yeah!
  • Give me some money!
  • Ain't no stopping me now, suckers! (when he's rich)
  • No stopping the playa! (when he's rich)
  • Hell yeah!
  • Look at that!
  • CJ on fire! (when he's fat)
  • Yeah, I can't wait to celebrate with a meal. (when he's fat)
  • Big daddy wins again! (when he's fat)
  • Look at that, I won!
  • Carl Johnson, remember that.
  • Pay the big man! (when he's fat)
  • Now I can have a good meal! (when he's fat)
  • My arteries are thick as my wallet, now! (when he's fat)
  • Pay the gangsta!
  • What's up, me!? I'm up!

Losing at the casino

  • Fuck you and your casino!
  • Well, look at that.
  • Y'all cheating!
  • Give a playa a break!
  • What is this shit!?
  • You're cheating! I know it!
  • That's completely utter bullshit.
  • What the fuck?
  • Damn!
  • I can't believe this, man!
  • Oh, shit.
  • Damn you! (when he's fat)
  • Come on, give me a break! (when he's rich)
  • Oh shit, I lost. (when he's rich)
  • Ohh shit, look at that! (when he's rich)
  • This straight bullshit! (when he's rich)
  • Hey, I'm a playa, not a paya! (when he's rich)
  • Look at this bullshit!
  • That's straight bullshit!
  • Argh, look at that shit! (when he's fat)
  • I'm so upset I gotta eat. (when he's fat)
  • Oh shit, my breakfast money! (when he's fat)
  • Oh damn, I lost my waffle money. (when he's fat)
  • I can't believe that, I'mma have to eat to commiserate. (when he's fat)

Singing

  • Warm it up Kane! Warm it up CJ! Warm it up Kane!
  • Girl you dropped a bomb on me!
  • Express yourself! Because I'm from Grove Street!
  • Never gonna get it, never gonna get it, beyatch!
  • Young hearts be free tonigh...! Aww, what was it...
  • Rollercoaster...! Wahoo hoo hoo!
  • Ain't nuttin but a G thang, bab-ay...
  • Two loc'ed out ni**as going crazy...
  • Move your body, move your body...
  • Take your time and let me love you good...

Police

Los Santos Police

  • Nobody touches my mother. Not even my daddy.
  • Nah, I prefer half and half to skimmed milk.
  • Tell my wife I banged her sister.
  • My squad car!
  • I'm getting old here!
  • I'm gonna fart if you don't move!
  • You dick!
  • You psychotic dick!
  • I told him "Chill out", then I broke his arm.
  • I'll take of this! Take care of my fish!
  • LSPD, freeze!
  • We should get bigger guns and more bullets!
  • Police! Move!
  • This is the police! Move!
  • Nowhere to run ass-dick!
  • LSPD! Stop!
  • You! Stop!
  • Don't move! Do not move!
  • Come on, move!
  • LSPD! STOP!
  • You won’t run out on me son!
  • He's getting away!
  • Sarge, I said "I won't do it" and I got promoted.
  • I can't believe you hit my car!
  • You blind shitbag!
  • Ah, my squad car!
  • Awww, no...
  • Duck! Get your heads down!
  • Come on! Fight! Fight!
  • I'm going in, I got a score to settle!
  • This guy's mine.
  • Take this guy out.
  • Let me at the bastard!
  • I'll get him, it'll be therapeutic.
  • I've been sober for over a year!
  • This guy's jerked me around for the LAST time.
  • Target the bastard!
  • You're busted, buddy!
  • Come on pal! I got a wife and kids!
  • Mister, I've had a really bad day.
  • Eat shit!
  • You piss-stain! Stop!
  • Give up bud! Stop!
  • I got a clear shot on him!
  • LSPD! Get out of the way!
  • Move! I'm a damn cop!
  • I’ve got the homeboy in my sight!
  • My dad was a cop.
  • I won't shower at the stationhouse.
  • I'm gonna give you the nightstick for that!
  • That psycho's shooting at us!
  • Might as well draw bull’s-eye on your head boy!
  • I'm gonna put you in a hospital pal!
  • I'm just doing my job pal.
  • Kill this asshole!
  • Stop with the running, pal!
  • You're mine, pal!
  • Stop running you girl!
  • Look at me pal; you're dead.
  • You'd better stop now, bud!
  • You happy now, son?
  • All right, all right you're coming with me!
  • You're gonna shut up now asshole?
  • You think you're smart, huh?
  • Leave me alone!
  • I hope you die!
  • People like you make me sick!
  • Get outta my life, asshole!
  • I'm not letting you screw my life again!
  • Want trouble? I'll give you trouble!
  • Come on then, asshole!
  • You don't know jackshit!
  • Don't make it harder than you have to stupid!
  • Oh, great. Jail. Another booze-free zone.
  • You've got too far this time, sonny!
  • Send reinforcements!
  • Let's end your family tree right now!
  • I ain't going solo with this maniac!
  • Should've come quietly!
  • You think you're a tough homie, huh?
  • OK, I got you!
  • You know your rights.
  • You know the routine!
  • Oh, you're one of them gangbangers huh?
  • One move and i'll cap you right here!
  • Stay down, asshole!
  • Can't just one guy let me arrest 'em peacefully?
  • Now freeze, you piece of shit!
  • Don't even think about it!
  • Don't move a muscle!
  • Don't make this any worse for yourself, asshole!
  • You! Stop it now!
  • You're mine, buddy, mine!
  • Don't annoy me again!
  • Another crackhead for the cells!
  • Careful now, you want PCP?
  • Give me any trouble, i'll shoot you in the head!
  • You wanna die?! You wanna die?!
  • Now freeze, you piece of shit!
  • You're not getting away, buddy!
  • I oughta bitch slap you!
  • HIT ME, GIRLIE!
  • LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! (While in shootouts)
  • Move and i'll murder you!
  • Move and i'll shoot!
  • Gotcha! Haha!
  • You're under arrest, shithead!
  • You have the right to remain silent, mister.
  • Tired of all you shitheads!
  • I think this is the start in the dry out period!
  • You still think that was a good idea?
  • Don't move!
  • You're coming with me!
  • I can kill you any time, I'm a cop!
  • Remember, I call a backup!
  • Come on, come on!
  • This is the LSPD, stop!
  • This guy's mine!
  • Hey, stop!
  • I'm gonna kick your ass!
  • I'd kick you if my pants weren't so tight!
  • Officer. I need a backup! (also cops say this quote, when CJ was seen in police impound garages)
  • You're mine now, kid!
  • End of the line, scumbag!
  • End of the road, kid!
  • I'm sick of doing this, i'm hungry!
  • You're under arrest!
  • Hands where I can see them!
  • Hold it right there!
  • You've gone too far this time, sonny!
  • Hold it!
  • Time to visit the big house!
  • Get out!
  • You got a problem with authority?
  • I've been training for this all morning!
  • Get your hands off me!
  • Oh yeah? You'll love jail, it's dry!
  • Look out!
  • Oh great, jail, another booze-free zone.
  • We all have the right to remain stupid.
  • Easy boy, don't give any attitude!
  • Don't worry, we all die at the end!
  • Yeah, life is a bitch and then we die!
  • Bring it on!
  • Why don't you guys stop reproducing?!
  • You don't wanna push me again!
  • Watch it buddy!
  • Okay, you know the drill!
  • You are under arrest!
  • Let's do this nice and easy, missy!
  • Let's get this over with!
  • Just let me arrest you.
  • Put them where I can see them!
  • Here we go again...
  • Okay kid, fun's over!
  • All right, spread them!
  • Bagels kick donuts' ass.

San Fierro Police

  • Watch where you going!
  • Sorry, my fault, entirely!
  • Did you hurt yourself?
  • Yeah, let’s connect!
  • Did your mother drop you as a child?
  • Hey, watch it!
  • Hey, I just polished these shoes!
  • When you see this badge, step the hell aside!
  • Police, out of my way!
  • Let’s see what you got, boy!
  • Take it like a man!
  • Bruise yourself for pain!
  • When I kick your ass, I’m gonna fuck it!
  • Careful, I know how to use this stick!
  • Move it or loose it!
  • I’m gonna take you down!
  • First i'm gonna beat you up, then i’m gonna beat you off!
  • Do you wanna bump up? Come on; Show me what you’re hiding down there!
  • Stop, I can help with your anxiety!
  • Man to man, like nature intended!
  • Prepared for a beating!
  • You wanna bump up, huh?
  • I’m gonna violate your ass!
  • Come on, pal, one fist or two?
  • How can I help you? Please stop!
  • I’m actually a social worker in a uniform!
  • Let me help you, I’m a social worker!
  • I can help you crying out with my help!
  • Did your daddy kiss you?
  • Fighting is never the answer!
  • I just wanna know why you’re so unhappy!
  • No problem, i can wait!
  • Whenever you're ready!
  • Take your time, no rush!
  • Wait, bro!
  • Come on, we can get on the bottom with this!
  • Why you wanna hit me?
  • Stop, we can hold hands and talk about it!
  • The police are your friends!
  • I’m licensed by the state!
  • I'm a police officer, not a marathon runner!
  • I'm too young for this shit!
  • Hold it, I’m also a social worker!
  • Slow down!
  • Stop, you’re just troubled!
  • This is one fast bastard!
  • Didn’t your mommy love you?
  • Come, let’s open a constructive dialogue!
  • I feel your pain!
  • You have a death wish, punk?
  • Slow down!
  • I can make this look like a suicide, you know?
  • You’re leaving me no choice; I got to kick your ass!
  • You can’t escape!
  • This better not be a toy gun, cause i am shooting your ass!
  • Your hands go up, we don't shoot!
  • You ain’t losing me, asshole!
  • I’m dragging your ass to jail!
  • I’m right behind ya, buddy!
  • I’m going to terminate this chase at any cost.
  • I can cancel in your therapy on Thursday!
  • Get away, the cops are after you!
  • You're in my sights!
  • I never miss, asshole!
  • I never miss, twice!
  • Careful, I heard Five-O is in the house!
  • Carjacking is just a cry for help!
  • By running away, you diss me!
  • Therapy can turn you into a productive citizen!
  • Inside every criminal is a scared little child!
  • My wife puts up a better fight!
  • Slow down, damn it! I just ate!
  • Is something wrong? can I help?
  • Glad you're not wasting any gas in the car!
  • I love your not polluting escape method!
  • My nickname on the force is Clean Harry!
  • I'm sticking my pistol in your mouth!
  • I smell the fear of a criminal!
  • I’m on your ass, daisy!
  • Come on, let’s talk about this!
  • This badge does not break for no one!
  • What will shooting me solve?
  • Don't frighten him, come on we can help him!
  • Attacking authority figure, I like it!
  • You can’t escape!
  • Hey, that's public property!
  • Yeah crush that gas-guzzler, right on, smash that polluting vehicle!
  • Did your parents ever crash your toy car?
  • Smash the car, man, I hate America anyway!
  • Hey, that's a legitimate expression of frustration!
  • Those sneakers better not be from child labor!
  • You see me coming, don’t ya?
  • I’m on the edge, asshole!
  • Hey! I'll book you for resisting arrest!
  • You gotta be America's dumbest crook!
  • Not on my watch, buddy! Not on my watch!
  • You just crossed my thin blue line, asshole!
  • I’m gonna slap you good!
  • I got a good cellmate for you, he loves to cuddle!
  • Get your bitch and switch!
  • 10-15, prisoner in custody!
  • Drop your pants, honey!
  • Drop in the name of the law!
  • You like guys in uniform or something?
  • Wanna grab my pistol?
  • Let’s wrestle to submission!
  • Wrestle me, honey!
  • Let’s hope we don’t have to hurt him!
  • You have the right to remain gorgeous!
  • Gotcha, honey!
  • I am taking you down, sugar!
  • You won't lose me, honeybunch!
  • You wanted to be caught!
  • You're going down, handsome!
  • Let me tell you my hourly therapy rate.
  • Whoo, check his weapon!
  • About time, you son of a bitch!
  • Don’t move a muscle!
  • I got you punk, stay down!
  • What are you doing?
  • You’re going downtown!
  • My ex-wife drives better than that!
  • What the hell are you doing?
  • You better pay a price for that!
  • Son-of-a-bitch!
  • Hey!
  • Tell me about your childhood.
  • I could read you your rights, but why bother?
  • Assume the position, honey!
  • Say hi to Virgil in cellblock D!
  • Let me see that smirk now, cowboy!
  • You have the right to remain silent!
  • You have the right to talk to a therapist!
  • We can work out therapy schedules later!
  • Thought you can get away with breaking the law?
  • I got you, son of a bitch!
  • You're going straight to the station, asshole!
  • We're gonna have so much fun with you at the station!
  • You know what I can do with my baton?
  • You were a handful!
  • Sucks you got caught, San Andreas prisons are a travesty!
  • Promise you'll call me if you feel suicidal!
  • Fight the power, comrade!
  • You're going down.
  • You weren't gonna get away!
  • Violence only breeds more violence!
  • Not so cocky now!
  • Take a rest, flyboy!
  • Did your parents fight a lot?
  • I'll bust you out at midnight, comrade!
  • This must be so hard for you!
  • Something's going right! For once...
  • You know your rights! Right?
  • At last I got you, you shit!
  • You got prison bitch written all over you!
  • You're busted, sucker!
  • Get down and stay down!
  • At least you didn't get away from me!
  • You're busted, asshole!
  • Well hot dog, I got him!

Las Venturas Police

  • Kicking names and taking ass! Oh wait.
  • If I die, tell my wife she's a bitch!
  • If I don't survive, tell my wife she's a bitch.
  • You're under arrest asshole!
  • Fun's over, buddy!
  • You ain't so tough now, huh?
  • Pull the trigger pussy!
  • I serve my community by kicking ass!
  • YOU MOVE IN! I have kids!
  • There's no cameras around to catch this beating.
  • Wake up chickenshit!
  • Look at this lucky ass!
  • Move your vehicle!
  • Get out of the way!
  • You're gonna have to move!
  • Move, police!
  • 'scuse me!
  • MOVE!
  • Come on! Move!
  • Hey, this is official police business!
  • Hey!
  • You're wrong, I'm right. I'm the cop!
  • Go ahead; you don't have the balls!
  • You wanna play rough?
  • HEY! BEAT IT!
  • I got the visual on the suspect!
  • Some guy's fooling around with my wife.
  • She's a goddamn cheating wife.
  • Goodbye Angela!
  • The Venturas crime dog has a rabbit in sight!
  • My beautiful squad car!
  • That guy's trying to kill me!
  • He's trying to kill us!
  • Your head's gonna get busted for this!
  • Come on tough guy!
  • That's it buddy, you're dead!
  • Come on! There's cops everywhere!
  • GO!! GO!! We got this kid!
  • You think you could get away from me?!
  • Show's over buddy, give up!
  • You are surrounded! Give up!
  • You've been messing with the wrong cop!
  • Just try punk, just try it.
  • You're about to be in a world of pain, boy!
  • You little asshole!
  • I got a 11-54 in front of me!
  • One false twitch and you're a 998!
  • You lose your glasses?
  • You see this badge?
  • Damn it! I need some help!
  • Great, now you're making me run?
  • You think I need some evidence?
  • I got a plan, cover me!
  • Ow! My coffee!
  • My car is signing your death warrant!
  • I'm a cop you asshole!
  • Cop killer!
  • Don't be a hero Martinez, stay down!
  • What the hell?!
  • 11-82 in progress!
  • You can't hit a police car!
  • Psycho at the wheel!
  • INCOMING!!
  • You think I'm the good guy? I'm the bad guy!
  • Nice work kid!
  • Eff you this is a police car!
  • San Fierro needs more guys like you.
  • Don't expect a reward, kid!
  • Hey! Look over there!
  • Hey! Look behind you!
  • MOVE IN!
  • What's this wise ass trying to do?
  • This little chase is making me angry!
  • We're all over like stink in shit!
  • Smile you son of a bitch!
  • You're MINE!
  • Don't move a goddamn muscle!
  • You're going down asshole!
  • You're gonna have a whole lotta fun inside, pal!
  • Hey, we're blocked in here!
  • YOU!! MOVE!
  • You're pushing your luck.
  • Have a look at your heart while it's still beating!
  • Get down, GET DOWN!
  • Feel like committing suicide by cop?
  • Gimme some help over here!
  • I don't believe this guy!
  • Eat the concrete, punk!
  • 10-15, prisoner in custody!
  • He's down!
  • AWWW!
  • Hey watch it!
  • I'm gonna enjoy this!
  • Don't lean on me, I lean on you.
  • OK, we'll settle this the hard way.
  • You looking for a attitude adjustment shitsmere?
  • I don't know anybody called Miranda!?
  • Let's settle this!
  • I'd wish I shot ya!
  • Just try it!
  • Just try punk, just try it!
  • Put the damn gun now son!
  • You won't get away from me!
  • You're trapped!
  • Looks like we got the last lap boy!
  • We're gonna blow your legs!
  • Time for a screen test, asslip!
  • Anything you say, you better talk!
  • This makes my whole day worthwhile.
  • You're gonna die!
  • You will regret that!
  • Where do you think you're going?
  • PIECE OF SHIT!
  • Damn it, shithead!
  • Suspect is under control!
  • Shithead!
  • This ain't a good day for you!
  • Thats it!!!
  • MOFO!
  • Nice try dickface!
  • Yeah, yeah!
  • Give it to me baby! Give it to me!
  • Choke on this asshole!
  • Never arrested a corpse before!
  • I oughta pop you right now!
  • Anymore of your bullshit and I'll blow you away!
  • Cuff and stuff this malabastard!
  • You could have been killed!
  • I'm immortal!
  • I spy with my little eye!
  • I'm in pursuit!
  • You're going down pal!
  • Mano a mano, you're surrounded!
  • Dog turd!
  • Don't move, Adam Henry!
  • Five arrests today and you're number six!
  • Don't move a Goddamn muscle!
  • MOVE IT WISE ASS!
  • Hey fender lizard, move it!
  • I got him spotted! I got him spotted!
  • Cover my ass goddammit!
  • WHOA! Man down! Man down!
  • Freeze, douchewipe!
  • Much obliged, citizen.
  • Suicide by cop? Is that what you're over?
  • God if I lost him...
  • I need backup!
  • I need backup to establish a perimeter!
  • Surrender!
  • Let's make this a D.R.T: dead right there!
  • Let's go boys!
  • Your luck just ran out!
  • You've just met the Ventura crime dog!
  • End of the line, punk!
  • You're going away for a while!
  • It's over, you chump!
  • Pull over, you freak!
  • Party time's over, buddy!
  • I'm on your ass, boy!
  • We're gonna have some fun with you, boy!
  • You're in my world now!
  • You're under arrest, buddy!
  • Stay down, gangbanger!
  • Where did you take your first shower?
  • Nowhere to run!
  • You're going down, punk!
  • Up against the wall, punk!

Countryside Police

  • Police, move!
  • Excuse me, please!
  • Out of the way!
  • Don’t you push me there!
  • Take the boat out fishing this weekend.
  • Pardon me!
  • Get back here!
  • Come back here, you’re under arrest!
  • Stop running away, boy!
  • I will kill you, boy!
  • My daddy told me about guys like you!
  • You’re getting yourself in a whole heap of shit!
  • You think I didn’t kill bigger bands than you, pal?
  • I’m a racist, boy!
  • The judge's gonna strangle you up!
  • You have violated a number of laws!
  • Hogtie 'em, take you in!
  • Don't move an inch!
  • Don't even think about it!
  • Drop your weapons now!
  • Don't even think about it, boy!
  • Stop right there!
  • Freeze, you're under arrest!
  • Freeze, boy!
  • Give up, boy!
  • You don’t hit cops in my town, boy!
  • You're lucky I didn't kill ya yet, boy!
  • Freeze right there!
  • It's a night in jail for you!
  • Freeze, dirtbag!
  • After I'm done, you wish you was dead!
  • I’m gonna mess you up, boy!
  • Hands up where I can see 'em!
  • Don't struggle, we got you now!
  • Out of your little mind, boy!
  • Time for a visit to the station!
  • Gonna lock you away from decent folks!
  • Stop now!
  • Where your big city ways now boy?
  • We've got different laws out here for you, boy!
  • Ain't nobody know your here, son!
  • You have the right to shut the hell up!
  • Everything by the book!
  • I can hardly wait to put you in!
  • You await your death, boy!
  • You're a long way from home, boy!
  • Get out now, you're under arrest!
  • Think you can mess with the country, boy?
  • That's beyond a misdemeanour boy!
  • I see you, boy!
  • You're officially under arrest!
  • You're gonna be real sorry, son!
  • You think you’re tough now, boy?
  • Your ass is mine, son!
  • You are under arrest!
  • You disgust me!
  • I’m on to kill you!
  • Think you can mess with the country boy?
  • Hey, dumb bastard, look at me!
  • You should play nice, boy!
  • Right in my sights!
  • I’m gonna put my pistol in your mouth!
  • Yeah, boy, happy now?
  • Put your hands behind your head!
  • Fella, you picked the wrong county.
  • You're under arrest, boy!
  • Stand still, you!

Police boat

  • This is the coastguard, stop your vessel!
  • Please stop, and we'll board your vessel!
  • Stop your vessel, tough guy!
  • Vessel, this is the San Andreas Coastguard - Why do you want attention?
  • Vessel, why do you want attention?
  • You, stop your fucking boat!
  • Stop that boat now!
  • We want to intercept your vessel; stop!
  • Stop!
  • You, stop your vessel now!
  • Just stop, wise guy, before we blow a hole in you!
  • You're gonna need to stop, now!
  • Stop, or we'll open fire on your vessel!
  • This is the coastguard - stop your vessel!
  • Hey, you, this is the Coastguard, stop right now!
  • You in that boat, stop - now!
  • This is the Coastguard - we need to talk!
  • You're getting yourself in whole heap of shit, boy!
  • This is the San Andreas Coastguard - we need you to stop, right now!
  • You think we can't see you, dipshit!? Stop your vessel!
  • Hey guy, I'm gonna make this prick stop - you stop!
  • Hey you, stop right now!
  • This is the Coastguard, asshole, stop, or we will kill you!
  • We want to make a maritime intercept, stop!
  • Declare your attention, or we'll put a hole in your vessel!
  • Tough guy, this is the coastguard - fun's over!
  • Stop! This guy is really annoying me! Stop, you turd!
  • Asshole, stop, or you get suck!
  • Hey you, this is the coastguard, stop!
  • There he is! There he is! You, stop!
  • I see him, he's trying to swim away!
  • You, get outta there right now!
  • Where you gonna swim to, tough guy?
  • You really want to drown, huh?
  • We've got a suspect in the water. Repeat: A man in the water!
  • We’ve got a man overboard!
  • We've got a suspect trying to swim away!
  • There is someone in the water! Over there! We see you, moron!
  • You can't escape!
  • He tries to swim away!
  • There he is, in the water!
  • We’ve got a suspect in the water!
  • Prison ain't so bad, fool, get out of the water!
  • We got a man overboard! A man overboard!
  • Oh, you think you're a fish now, huh?
  • Someone taught you to swim, huh?
  • I thought you couldn't swim?
  • There he is! In the fucking water!
  • Get out of the fucking water, right now!
  • Suspect overboard!
  • Where you gonna swim to?
  • Let's let that asshole drown!
  • Give up, you dumb moron!
  • Get out of the water - you can't escape!
  • Come on, get outta here, asshole!
  • You ain't going nowhere, we got the highest sky on you!

Police helicopter

Like in Grand Theft Auto III, the pilots can get into arguments over the microphone.

  • We got a clear visual on suspect and are about to open fire.
  • Co-Pilot: I see her, she's beautiful... Pilot: He's, over there! He's a guy!
  • Co-Pilot: Hey, if I kill him, do I get a medal? Pilot: You get two!
  • We got a clear shot on the suspect. You! Stop right now!
  • We got a clear line of sight on the suspect!
  • Suspect is about to be apprehended with extreme force.
  • This is aerial support - suspect is about to get terminated!
  • You’re going down, hard man, right now!
  • Give up, the game’s up.
  • You still think you’re hard, huh?
  • We’re the police, moron! We’ve got helicopters!
  • This is aerial support - we’ve got a visual on the suspect.
  • This is the aerial unit - we've got a clear visual on suspect!
  • Put your hands up, it’s over!
  • Pilot: There he is! Kill him, John! Co-Pilot: I always do the fucking killing!
  • Co-Pilot: Why do I have to do all of the shooting?! Pilot: 'Cause I'm a pacifist! Kill him!
  • Suspect is trying to escape, we'll soon stop that!
  • We got a visual on the suspect.
  • We've got a headshot on you. Stop!
  • This is helicopter support - we’re about to neutralize all visible threats.
  • Co-Pilot: Hey, I can see my house from here- Pilot: Dave, will you shut the hell up... You, stop!
  • Ho-ho-hold this thing steady and I'll shoot him in the head! Stop!
  • *chuckle* You’re in trouble now, bad boy!
  • This is chopper support - suspect is in sight!
  • Suspect is about to be terminated!
  • This is heli support - I’m about to take the suspect down!
  • This little party is about to get shut down.
  • You’re mine, tough guy!
  • You! Stop! Or we will kill you!
  • I've got a headshot on you, tough guy!
  • We're the good guys, you little chump!
  • Pilot: Shoot that asshole! Co-Pilot: I’m trying, I’m trying!
  • Co-Pilot: You, stop! Pilot: Just shoot him, you pussy!
  • Suspect is escaping; repeat: escaping!
  • You can’t escape, asshole!
  • Pilot: This is aerial support- Co-Pilot: I think he knows that by now!
  • You! Stop running! Now!
  • It’s time to shut you up, asshole!
  • Pilot: Fun time is over, kid... Co-Pilot: Oh, you’re so dominating!
  • Co-Pilot: Jim, you see anything? Pilot: Over there! Shoot him!
  • Co-Pilot: Where is he? Pilot: Over there, you dick, count them!
  • You’re about to get taught to respect the law, pal!
  • We've got a clear sighting on suspect!
  • We can fill this guy full of holes!
  • Pilot: You can start praying now, suspect! Co-Pilot: Oh, you sound really butch!
  • Pilot: Matt, stop photographing those women and shoot the bastard! Co-Pilot: Hey, shut up!
  • Co-Pilot: I'm gonna kill this guy! Pilot: Make sure it's the right guy this time!
  • You're gonna try and screw with the police, huh? Asshole...
  • Stop!
  • Co-Pilot: Stop! Now! Right now! Pilot: Oh, just shoot him!
  • Look at the birdie! It's dying, asshole!
  • Co-Pilot: I'm out of bullets! Pilot: Don't worry, I got extra!

Motorcycle police

  • Don’t make this a 998!
  • I'm going to call the police! I believe in sharing.
  • You have a last request?
  • You are going down!
  • I’m ready when you are, pussy!
  • I’m gonna get that bastard!
  • Bring it on!
  • You wanna fight a cop?
  • He's my color, back off!
  • No need for backup, boys!
  • Officer, requesting backup!
  • Easy there!
  • I need backup here!
  • Hey!
  • Let’s see what you got!
  • Careful, partner!
  • Where'd you learn to throw a punch?
  • This one’s mine!
  • I'll take this punk!
  • I’m going after it!
  • I’m gonna hum with you!
  • Ah, you want some of this?
  • I wanna be alone with my bitch!
  • It's county blues for you, chump!
  • I'm going hunting, alone!
  • Hands behind your back, son!
  • Tell it to the judge, homeboy!
  • You're going to jail, mack-daddy!
  • I'm gonna kick your mack-daddy ass!
  • Stay out of insurance, bitch!
  • You're coming downtown!
  • I'm sure you already know this feel!
  • This can go one of two ways!
  • Start naming names, asshole!
  • Tell it to the judge, playa!
  • Time for good old-fashioned police brutality!
  • I'm taking you in!
  • You people never learn!
  • Mr. Johnson, you are under arrest!
  • We've got ourselves a Johnson kid!
  • We got you now, CJ!
  • Keep quiet and come with me!
  • You're going down, my man!
  • You're the rabbit in the hole!
  • Give it up, CJ!
  • Save the energy for the prison, you'll need it!

S.W.A.T

  • I'm gonna take you out asshole!!
  • You're gonna die!!!
  • You yellow bastards! Stop
  • YOU PIECE OF SHIT! GET BACK HERE!
  • Take him down once and for all!!
  • Holy shit!! Get down!!
  • Move in move in move in!!
  • Look out below!!!
  • Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
  • I ain't walking away from this shithead!
  • You're gonna die asshole!
  • Return fire! I'm going in!
  • Eat dirt!
  • I hate this bit.
  • Comin' in hot!
  • S.W.A.T team coming in!
  • We're all over your ass homeboy!
  • I'm gonna drop him!
  • Mother: I love you!
  • Incoming fire!!
  • Stop! Stop! You shit!
  • Watch out below!!
  • Aw shit! I'm stuck!
  • Target spotted: Get down here boys!
  • Get your weapons down before this gets worse!

FBI

Army

  • KILL EVERYTHING!
  • Mano a mano!
  • Two by two!
  • Come to daddy!
  • Blow him away!
  • KILL THAT IDIOT!
  • I'M GONNA FUCKING TEAR YOU APART!
  • Watch yourself!
  • You went personal, huh?
  • One and one, ha!
  • Oh no you don't!
  • Advance!
  • Go, go, go!
  • Get out!
  • Why am I so jumpy?
  • Man, I'm getting the heebie-jeebies.
  • WE HAVE WOUNDED!
  • Where's that menace?!
  • Chew him up!
  • FIRE AT WILL!
  • Cut her down!
  • TAKE HIM OUT!
  • NEUTRALIZE THE TARGET!
  • Let her rip!
  • INTRUDER!

Gangs

Grove Street Families

  • Come on Carl, relax!
  • Aw shit! The car's on fire!
  • Time for no kicks, Carl!
  • What's with that motherfucking hooptie Carl?
  • That clothes is not gangsta, Carl.
  • You deaf or something Carl?
  • Hey CJ man, I like the threads.
  • Los Santos is cold in a motherfucker!
  • Oh we upside-down now, bitch-ass!
  • Family violence, yeah!
  • Kick back Carl, damn!
  • Bang bang ballsack, how do you like that?!
  • See you round, homie.
  • Still banging dude! Still bangin'!
  • Take that, ballsack!
  • Who's the bitch now homie?
  • Oh that shit is whack, homie!
  • You never seen no gangsta?
  • Guh...thanks man...! (coughs)
  • These kicks insult me personally.
  • Ass touchers can't see us!
  • I ain't drinking that bullshit!
  • Where's that ho ass sister of mine?
  • We families positively sir! We just protecting the hooood, officer!
  • Screw you vagina holes!
  • Sherm is my ho-MAY!!
  • CJ I'll jack you a better car!
  • Get these bizzals in yo jizzals!
  • Any of y'all seen sheefa?
  • Come on CJ, why you doing that?
  • Is this a Balla bar?
  • What is going on man? Move out of the way!
  • Hey, watch it homie!
  • Hey playboy, watch that!
  • Hey CJ! What'cha doing?!
  • They are all mine!!
  • Where did you get your license from?
  • I can't go back to jail!
  • You must be smokin'!
  • My grandmama drive faster than that!
  • CJ you're a maniac, man!
  • It's on motherfuckers!
  • Hey man! Who did that to your hair?
  • Why do you do that shit?
  • Bangin' and more bangin'. Bang, bang!
  • You need to kick your barber's ass!
  • Aw no no no! Damn! Look what you did to my ride!
  • Hey man! Watch it!!
  • I ain't scared of you! Don't let me get mad, officer!
  • You are IGNORANT!
  • Hey baby! Right over here, baby!
  • Don't be eyeballin' me fool!
  • Florida fucker!
  • I'll kick yo ass man!
  • You gone to tear da car up!
  • Who taught you how to drive?
  • That car is do-do!
  • Hey yo hair is whack!
  • Hey man! Look at me when you die!
  • I'm a maniac! I can't be stopped!
  • Hey man, pass the blunt!
  • What up boy?
  • Ryder was right about you CJ!
  • I want the best CJ!
  • Grove Street OG coming through!
  • Can I get my drink on?
  • Man, how come you can't see me?
  • Wait a second!
  • CJ, who's been drawing on you?
  • Am I invisible over here?
  • Shit! I'm suckin' a roach!
  • My motherfucking car, look at it!!
  • You hit me fool!!
  • Aw man, my shit!
  • Aw you hit me! You motherfucking fool!
  • You're in dog shit man, I don't give a shit!
  • Bay-sucking fools!
  • South-side fools!
  • Suck on my 9, Ballas!
  • I want the best motherfucker.
  • What is this shit you're drinking?
  • Not exactly premium liquor, is it?
  • What is this bullshit ya' smoking?
  • Keep up your speed, CJ!
  • Aw man, we're on fire!
  • Aw man, we're stuck in the burning bucket! Oh shit!
  • Fool! You hit them! Look out!
  • CJ nooooooo!!!
  • Now we're rolling CJ!
  • Kilo Tray's lookin' for trouble.
  • A Johnson boy in a hooptie? A fat bastard!
  • Hey nice ride CJ!
  • Hey man, respect the ink dude!
  • Slammin' ride CJ!
  • Looking popped holmes!
  • Trippin' cartoons CJ!
  • Aw man!! You asshole!
  • Dumbass car!
  • Aw man! Shit, it's all broke!
  • Aw man, this is good weed.
  • CJ, you're ruining my buzz here.
  • You've been messin' with the Grove!
  • We need a car!
  • Yo we got enough CJ!
  • You bumped into me, homie? Where you from?
  • Use your motherfucking eyes next time!
  • Hey! Chill, motherfucker!
  • Get your fucking hands off me!
  • Oh man! That fucker's in my car!
  • That's my brother's ride!
  • No man, got better shit to do.
  • I was just complimenting CJ!
  • Man that ain't cool!
  • What's up holmes?
  • Man! Life is beautiful!
  • Northsides go home!
  • Who rolled this piece of shit man?!
  • You tryin' to kidnap me fool?!
  • Hey, you pushin' me?
  • Hey man, pass the joint!
  • Yo, gimme some love, homie.
  • Pass the blunt.

When Carl drives fast

  • Shit! Slow down homie!
  • Slow your row CJ!
  • Slow down, for goodness sake!

When Carl drives recklessly/crashes the car

  • Glad it ain't my ride.
  • CJ, I warned you!
  • You can't drive for shit!
  • Shit, you drive like a motherfucker!
  • Open your eyes, CJ!
  • CJ, you drive like a bitch.

Fighting

  • Ball-ass bitches!
  • Bitch-ass lowlife, Ballas!
  • We gotta spray these Balla fools!
  • You're going down Balla bitch!
  • You want some of this bitches?!
  • Varrios goats!
  • ASS-tecas have been lying down!
  • Ballas gonna cry to moms!
  • Vagos eat my shit!
  • VLA are gonna bleed!
  • Die VLAs!
  • Die LSVs!
  • Vagos die!
  • LSVs die!
  • LSV killa!
  • VLA killa!
  • Vagos vamoose!
  • Vagos eat shit!
  • Death to Varrios!
  • Death to Aztecas!
  • VLA are gonna fade, man!
  • Go back to your ugly Varrios!
  • Vagos can't see me!
  • Those aztecs fools.
  • Hey Aztecas!
  • Come on Ballas, let's go!
  • Vato fools!
  • Those Aztecas are all mine!
  • Take that ya LSV bitch!
  • Az-dicks!
  • Hey Ballas! What's up now?
  • Ball-LESS!
  • I'm not scared of no ASS-lickers!
  • Hey Ballas cocksucka!
  • Cover me!
  • Duck homie!
  • Heads down! Duck!

When CJ activates flying cars cheat with GSF members.

  • WOOO!! Now we're movin'!
  • WOOO!! We're flyin'!
  • Aw shit, I ain't got no wings CJ! This car is flying!
  • We're upside-down!

Ballas

  • Screw you, CJ!
  • I'll shoot everybody in this bitch!
  • Hey you better be watching yourself fool!
  • Can't anybody ride like us?
  • Hey dude don't bang, he perpetrate!
  • Hey man cover my back!
  • Don't make me get out of this car!
  • Man, I break no rule!
  • Aw shit!
  • Watch it fool!
  • Don't roll to my hood! You know nobody rolls in my hood!
  • Everybody duck down!
  • Hey the season is over now!
  • Hey the game is over now busta!
  • Hey baby! Hey baby!
  • Hey man, don't look at me like that!
  • Oh you just gonna do it like that huh?
  • Hey get your hands off me!
  • Hey man, back off me fool!
  • I was straight down fool!
  • I'm a catch you fool!
  • Hey car-jack mart! Hit the bitch!
  • Hey, let's frush these busters!
  • Why you gotta do that?
  • Say man, gimme all your moonlight now!
  • Get down man I see you. You can run but you can't hide!
  • Man, fuck that bitch warren!
  • Hey it's on now!
  • Hey good looking man!
  • Hey taxi! Slow up fool!
  • Hey taxi! I need some love!
  • Hey man this is a B-ride, you got a ticket?
  • You need to take that back on the other side now!
  • We is law abiding citizens!
  • Another wasted fool.
  • You still having fun, gangbanging homie?
  • Damn C.R.A.S.H. always around the hood.
  • Give me some real shit man. What's happening man?
  • You're too close. Give me 5 feet man.
  • I'm big when I'm sitting on my wallet.
  • OG coming through, OG coming through!
  • Kick rocks, punk bitch.

Fighting/Shooting

  • Don't let my stature fool you!
  • Get some you young trick!
  • Big balls is bad for your health!
  • There he is! Get him!
  • Imma tear you up!
  • Catch his ass Ballas!
  • C'mon, beeyatch!
  • C'mon fool, get'em up!
  • There he is! There he is!!
  • His tyres! Shoot his tyres!!
  • Fuck this shit, I'm a hero around this motherfucker!
  • Imma be a hero on this one, dog!
  • Watch out. Imma be the hero today!
  • I'm going in!
  • Everybody move in!
  • Hey yo, stop that fool!
  • Move forward, Ballas. Move forward!
  • We'll beat you with a few more!
  • Man, got a chicken up his ass!
  • Represent yourself chickenboy!
  • Cover me homie, I'm going in!
  • Somebody trip that motherfucker!
  • I've got them pinned down!
  • Imma rush in now, I've got this little bitch!
  • That's him right there!
  • I told you Grove Street was busters!
  • Run, motherfucker, Run!
  • Get back here and fight, bitch!
  • Show me that you're a man!
  • Blast 'em Grove Street punks!
  • What's up, Grove Street!?
  • That's Grove Street over there! Catch him!
  • I've got this mark, don't worry about it.
  • Slow down.
  • He can't move.
  • Hey where you going? I wanna be friends!
  • Hey where you going? Come back here!
  • Put some cover on me. Watch my back!
  • Come back here you lil' buster!
  • I love my hood!
  • Got this fool covered. Go ahead rush in!
  • Roll him up. I've got your back.
  • I've got you back. I'm dumpin' on this fool!
  • Ballas will get you!
  • Ballas and Grove. Let's go at it!
  • Cover my ass! Get that motherfucker!
  • Step on up, motherfucker!
  • Beat it!
  • Screw you!
  • Say bye-bye to your teeth!
  • Kill yo ass!
  • Imma remove your ugly face, fool!
  • Fuck you, beeyatch!
  • This is how I use to beat yo' mama!
  • Put 'em up. Put 'em up!
  • I'm gonna tank 'em!
  • I'm a motherfucking Balla OG!
  • Take that huh! Motherfucker!
  • You hit like a girl ni**a. I thought you had something!
  • Bring it on, dickweed!
  • Did you like your face?
  • Fool, you going home in a pinebox.
  • These youngsters think they tough!
  • You can't fade no Balla OG.
  • Can't hurt me, i'm a real Balla.

Seeing CJ on their turf

  • Grove Street Families suck ass!
  • Grove Street mamas suck my dick!
  • Grove wear snitch jacket!
  • Suck my dick Grove bitch!
  • Grove Street are slippin' man!
  • Look at those Grove Street fools!

Asking CJ

  • Hey, transformer?
  • State your clique!
  • What's your team?
  • What's your colors?
  • Where's your flag, man?
  • You got a clique?
  • You from around here?
  • Step up, lil' g?
  • Who you claimin'?
  • Who you kicked for?
  • Who you down with?
  • You bangin' fool?
  • Where you from, homie?
  • Where you from, fool?
  • Where you from, punk?
  • Where you from? Speak up!
  • Where you from? We're killers over here.
  • Where you from and be careful what you say!
  • What's your gang, homie?
  • Which set you claiming?
  • Which set you claiming, youngster?
  • Which set you from, fool?
  • Which hood you representing?
  • Oh you're from the backside?
  • You know, I've never seen you before?
  • Do I know you from somewhere, homeboy?
  • Hey fool, you bangin'?
  • Hey fool, do you gangbang or what?
  • Hey fool, where you from?
  • Hey witty, you bangin'?
  • Hey homie, where you from?
  • Hey hardman, where you from?
  • You look like a gangbanger homie?
  • It looked like you're bangin' to me?
  • I'm an OG Balla cuck?
  • I'm a Balla homie. Are you?
  • Hey man, we victorious!
  • What hood you ridin' for killah?
  • Say man, what hood you're from?
  • We're the notorious Ballas fool?
  • Yeah Balla 4 Life. What about you?
  • You're on the wrong side, homeboy?
  • Wrong color, wrong block?
  • Wrong hood?

San Fierro Triads

  • Fuckhead!
  • Muttonchops!
  • So Sorry.
  • Hey!
  • Don't get too close to big money.
  • Get away from me.

Driving

  • Do we have to torture you?
  • Did your brain just stop working?
  • You got brain freeze or something?
  • Out the way, mutton-head!
  • Off the road, idiot!

Fighting

  • Damn mutton-fool
  • Your children are going to miss you!
  • We're gonna cut you up!
  • We're gonna slice you up!
  • We're gonna slice your face off!
  • You goin' down, fuckhead.

Criticizing CJ's apparel

  • Have you got the red eye disease?

Shooting

  • Keep his damn head down!
  • Gimme a clip on this motherfucker!
  • Hope you liked your face!

Da Nang Boys

  • How's it goin'?
  • Watch it! (bumping into someone)
  • I need a hit of your shit.
  • Hello, fine lady! (to female pedestrians)
  • You like my noodle? (to female pedestrians)
  • Hello, sexy honey! (to female pedestrians)
  • Hello, like shopping? (to female pedestrians)
  • Oh yeah, baby! (to female pedestrians)
  • Gimme some more of that! (to female pedestrians)
  • Hey, dude.
  • Oh, shit now I hungry! (after smoking a joint)
  • You always drink good shit.
  • Hey, brother!
  • American girl talk too much.
  • I gonna go Canada.
  • Tastes good, remind me of prison.
  • This your wallet? (bumping into someone)
  • You want me to shoot you? (when stuck in traffic)
  • I studied astrology in prison.

Telling CJ to leave their turf

  • What is this shit, who are you?
  • Someone drop you off here, girlfriend?
  • You wanna be a gangsta?
  • You got to be from L.S.
  • L.S bastards smell like you!

Commenting on CJ's apparel

  • Nice pants, man.
  • Those are ugly shoes!
  • Where you get your super shoes?
  • Why you wear so funny shoes?
  • I shit on your car!
  • My dad had a cool shirt like that.
  • I want a car like that someday!
  • You need new clothes!
  • You look like homeless.

Fighting

  • No more playing!
  • Who taught you how to fight?
  • I gonna kill you!
  • Oh, I love fighting!
  • You dead now!
  • You wanna fight prison style?
  • You end up in my dinner, chicken!
  • Run while you can!
  • Cover me!

Main Characters

Sweet

When bumped into

  • I ignore that.
  • You got a problem?
  • Back off!
  • You wanna say something?
  • Don't push me!

When in a car affected by the 'Flying Cars' cheat

  • This shit don't impress me, CJ.
  • This shit don't help us son.
  • You're still pulling this shit?

When in an upside-down car

  • (You) pay for the bill, CJ.
  • Nice parking, dude.
  • I'll prefer the other way up.

When crashing the car

  • CJ, I warned you!

When sitting in a car (only if Carl stops the vehicle or drives at a fast speed, in missions featuring drive-by shootings)

  • Move it CJ!
  • Get outta here, CJ!
  • Let's roll!
  • Slow down, fool!

Big Smoke

When bumped into

  • Excuse me.
  • Look where you goin', fool.
  • Fool!
  • Hey, look out.
  • Damn fool!
  • Pay attention, moron!

When in a car affected by the 'Flying Cars' cheat

  • CJ!!!
  • Mom, I'm sorry!
  • Call me a lawyer!
  • Noooooo!!!
  • Help me!!!
  • Oh my god!
  • Look out!!!

Ryder

When bumped into

  • Who you think you touching, homeboy?
  • Don't block me, homie.
  • Get out of my face!
  • Move it, motherfucker!
  • Get out of my way!

When in a car affected by the 'Flying Cars' cheat

  • Ahh, man, no!
  • What'you doing?
  • This is too high, even for me!

Cesar Vialpando

When bumped into

  • Don't push me, man.
  • Wanna start something, eh?
  • Idiota.
  • Varrios Los Aztecas will never die!
  • Watch where you're going, eh?
  • Get out of my face!
  • Cabrón!

When in a car affected by the 'Flying Cars' cheat

  • There goes my burrito!
  • That's some trajectory!
  • This car won't take a landing!

T-Bone Mendez

When bumped into

  • Don't cross me!
  • Hey man, don't fuck with me dog!
  • Fuck off me!
  • Get out of the fucking way, man!
  • Don't touch me again!
  • Back off and give me fifty feet!

When in a car affected by the 'Flying Cars' cheat

Clerks

Ammu-Nation

  • Everything a patriot could want!
  • Ice your wife or stop a truck, I got what you need.
  • They all lost their serial numbers.
  • I don't do big military orders.
  • You hard yet?
  • Best not to mention where you got this, okay?
  • If the cops ask, you didn't get it here, ok?
  • I didn't sell you this, right?
  • Have fun!
  • Hope you kick some ass!
  • The choice of the professional.
  • All top-quality pieces!
  • See ya again soon!
  • All virtually legal and above board.
  • Don't you just love the smell of gun oil?
  • I can meet all your home defense needs.
  • I have a piece for every occasion.
  • Guns and ammo. All top-quality.
  • No ID required, friend.
  • Everything you need to get even!
  • I got everything a real patriot could want.
  • Ain't my business what you do with it.
  • You can legally own a gun.
  • It's all fresh outta the crates.
  • Works well in a crowded area.
  • The revolution is coming!
  • There are cultists everywhere, friend.
  • The wars are coming, you hear?

The Well Stacked Pizza Co.

  • What do you want?
  • Chewy crust or sweaty crust, your choice sir!
  • Oh? Uh, what would you like?
  • What would sir like?
  • Everything's well stacked, sir.
  • Choose a blend of cheese and fat, sir.
  • Here you go, enjoy!
  • We're out of napkins.
  • We stack 'em high, sir!
  • Here! Next!
  • Nice n' cheesy does it!
  • Enjoy your meal, sir!
  • Have a nice, cheesy day!
  • Have a well stacked day!
  • Watch it, it's hot!
  • Kifflom gets a discount here.
  • Come on, just pick something!
  • What would you like, sir?
  • You want a pizza or what?
  • That's a nice slice of Epsilon for you!
  • Fuck off, I ain't serving you!
  • I ain't serving you with that attitude!
  • You're joking, right? Get outta here! (When CJ is throwing up or when he doesn't have enough money)

Cluckin' Bell

  • Yummy doodle-doo, how may I serve you?
  • Cock-a-doodle-cluck, welcome.
  • Cock-a-doodle-doo, what do you want?
  • Cock-a-cluckle-doo, please place an order.
  • Cluck, cluck, how may I serve you?
  • Enjoy a-doodle-doo!
  • Cluckity fuck, please place an order.
  • It's all processed chicken ass.
  • How may I further degrade myself sir?
  • Well, aloh-a-doodle-doo.
  • Don't choke on the bone fragments.
  • Hope you choke a doodle-doo!
  • The chewy bits aren't harmful, sir.
  • You might be lucky to find a feather.
  • If you come back; you're a moron.
  • Get out of here, you're embarassing yourself!
  • Get outta here! (When CJ is throwing up or when he doesn't have enough money)
  • Believe me, you've got better shit to do! (When CJ is throwing up or when he doesn't have enough money)

Burger Shot

  • What does sir desire?
  • I'm proud to welcome you to Burger Shot!
  • What would you like sir?
  • Which delicious meal would sir like?
  • How may I serve you?
  • I enjoy serving you sir.

Serving food

  • Please enjoy your meal.
  • Hope we see you again, sir!
  • Slurp my burger, sir!
  • I have enjoyed serving you, sir!
  • Munch your way to bliss, sir!
  • Have a wonderful day!
  • Do come back again!
  • Please enjoy your meal!

When freaked out

  • We cannot serve the mentally-deficient, sir!
  • Get professional help, sir!
  • Have some sense and go home!
  • I hope you're being self-conspicuous of yourself, sir!
  • Please consider leaving, sir!
  • Sir, I can't serve you.
  • What did I do?!
  • Please, no!
  • Maniac!
  • Don't orphan my kids!
  • You monster!
  • Oh god, my face!
  • My eyes, agh, my eyes!

Clothing shops

Female

  • Try our clothes in the changing room!
When CJ enters the shop
  • It's exhillerating to have you here, sir.
  • Welcome to my humble shop!
  • Ooh! A customer!
  • Come in, come in!
  • Hello!
  • Hey, hi, welcome!
  • Hi there!
  • Welcome, sir, welcome!
After CJ purchases a product
  • Thank you, sir!
  • Good choice, sir!
  • Always the pleasure, sir!
  • Try on anything you want, sir!
If CJ attacks or aims a weapon at the cashier
  • I'm calling the police!
  • Get out of here, you maniac!
When CJ leaves the shop
  • Have a nice day, sir!

Male

  • Well hello, gorgeous!
  • Have a nice day, honeybum!
  • It looks great on you.
  • We also have a wide selection of thongs.

Trainers and masters

Los Santos boxing trainer

  • Yo, you wanna learn some new moves?
  • Man you're an embarassment! Get yourself some muscles first! (when CJ has low muscle or is skinny.)
  • Fine man, but the streets are mean dude!
  • Alright, but I'll know you'll be back!
  • Hey, you wanna go on a round with me?
  • You charge at him and batter your opponent!
  • (to the boxers) That's right, keep breathing!
  • Don't give the opponent the time to recover.

San Fierro kung fu master

  • So, you wish to become a warrior!
  • You are weak like flat weed! Get yourself some strength! (when CJ has low muscle or is skinny.)
  • Observe with the eyes, young student, and you will learn!
  • The warrior's path shall bring you back!
  • Would you like to spar with your master?

Las Venturas streetfighting teacher

  • You want to see some new moves?
  • Come back if you change your mind, man!
  • Alright man, pay attention!
  • Want to have another round with me?

Pedestrians

Indian pedestrian

  • (farts) My ass is stinking!
  • Shit cock bastard head!
  • Smell my fingers!
  • You fucking shitface!
  • Aeyyy!
  • I kill you!
  • Dumb bastard!
  • You shit!
  • I'll get you!
  • Take this, you dick!
  • You want some of this?
  • I studied martial arts in Kathmandu!

Croupier

  • Place your bets!
  • Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen!
  • An offer of credit has been made, Sir.
  • The house is prepared to offer you credit, Sir.
  • The house regonizes _ credit rating.
  • Sorry, Sir, you don't have enough funds.
  • No more bets, please!
  • No more bets, ladies and gentlemen, please.
  • No more bets, people.
  • You win!
  • You win, Sir, well done.
  • Congratulations, Sir.
  • Thank you, Sir, have a nice day.
  • Thank you for playing, Sir.
  • Jackpot!
  • Another win for Sir!
  • Blackjack!
  • Blackjack! House Exclusive!

Samoan pedestrian

  • Get out of the way!
  • Move that piece of shit!
  • Komo. (Asshole)
  • Shit! I'll kill you!
  • Ufa. (Fuck you)
  • You better move!
  • Shit! Come on, watch it!
  • Polo (Balls). Kae (Shit). Komo (Asshole).
  • Easy!
  • Stay back asshole!
  • What the...
  • You better not do that again.
  • Man, you crazy?
  • Watch out!
  • A last guy challenged me as a quadrapalegic.
  • Last time I arm wrestle someone, I ripped his arm off.
  • This fresh record from Verona Beach was still hoes!
  • Ain't no cops holding me down.
  • Cops are such pussies.
  • Momos (Shits) with guns. Anyone wants to take me out here, I can fight anybody anytime.
  • Man, where did you get your fit. The thrift store?
  • Man, you're asking for trouble with that outfit.
  • I wouldn't walk around looking like that man.
  • You better look out for the fashion popos.
  • Another working pillow for the hood.
  • Man you need to hit the gym.
  • Man you have to lay off the fast food.
  • Man don't you give a shit about yourself?
  • Shower's over this way komo (asshole).
  • Hey komo (asshole) take a shower.
  • Hey man take a shower, man you stink.
  • Hey don't walk away from me pukio (asshole), I'm talking to you.
  • What, you didn't answer? You didn't hear me?
  • Man you got some style, that's pussy mega style there.
  • Stylin' bro.
  • Looking good bro.
  • Hey homie, looking good.
  • Hey homie, you've been hitting the weights?
  • Hey man, you've been hitting iron?
  • Sweet colombus, that is fresh. Some dope ass clothe.
  • Where did you get that clothe? Is that Renegade you're wearin'?
  • Shit! No! Damn! My bike!
  • You better run now!
  • Polo lou Kama (Your father's balls), I'm gonna kick your ass for this!
  • Man, you're dead.
  • How are you going to pay for my car?!
  • Now you going to have to pay for my car!
  • Kae! (Shit!) Komo! (Asshole!) Ufa! (Fuck you!) You're dead!
  • Look out!
  • Damn! Oh shit!
  • Man, hook me up with a bag. Make it two bags, I'm under a lot of stress.
  • Holy moly, you're dead, komo (asshole!)!
  • You ain't got a chance!
  • You trying to check me on, pukio (asshole?)?
  • Game over, pukio! (asshole!)
  • Man, this is your funeral, pukio! (asshole!)
  • You like hospitals? You must like hospitals!

Purple 31 pedestrian

  • Fool are you on sherms?
  • You bitch-made busta!
  • I mess with girls and guys, so?
  • Im about to start trippin'!
  • Get yo stupid ass movin'!
  • I drink all your booze under the table!
  • Move, punk bitch!
  • Those fool oughta get blasted!
  • I gotta check this mark!
  • Who's this busta ass mark?!
  • Excuse me mark!
  • When I slap you, don't trip!
  • I love violence!
  • On our first date, we should go to Ammu-Nation!
  • Fool, I said raise up!
  • I love lip gloss! And break you off a tip!
  • Better you than me!
  • Well he say he's taking me to Ventura.
  • You up in here smell bangin'.
  • Jackin' bitches, that's yo M.O.?!
  • I'm startin' to feel a little faded.
  • A bitch ain't got time for this shit!
  • Tryin' to fill a bitch up?!
  • Man that's just triffling!
  • 'Gon bail in a wheelchair when I'm done!
  • Don't hold back me though, loc!
  • I done KO Meteor Man! (?)
  • I'm down for my hood!
  • You 'bout to get beat by a bitch!
  • Think a female can't squab, loc?
  • Get 'em up, you perpetrator!
  • Let's scrap, you old busta!
  • East Santos bitches can't see me!

Mexican porn fan

  • What comes with the aftertaste of pussy?
  • I buy a round for all the young boys!
  • Ándale!
  • Pendejadas!
  • Goddamn piss swimmer!
  • MOVE IT!
  • Let's go! Damn!
  • MOVE THAT PIECE OF SHIT!
  • Go park somewhere else!
  • Baboso!
  • Idiot!
  • Cabron!
  • Bolas!
  • Puto!
  • Shit on a shingle!
  • You want some of me, maricon?
  • Que paso loco.
  • Abusado!
  • Pussy is like porridge.
  • I love sexy cartoons.
  • I love the boys in Thailand.
  • I had porn for breakfast.
  • I hope they don't find the bodies...
  • Take a shower ese.
  • You smell like basura man!
  • Sucio!
  • You smell like my ass man!
  • You need a better skin artist, vato.
  • I could do better with a magic marker!
  • Holy macaroni!
  • Big gun pencil dick sabes!
  • Molest you later!
  • You smell as sweet as a schoolgirl.
  • The ladies like to rub the tatas on your tats moreno.
  • Nice ink!
  • I got tattoos too!
  • Nice tats, man!
  • You think you have the bolas for me borardo.
  • You drive like a mujer!
  • Bende hamas!
  • Carre I hate this weather.
  • You better not walk away from me, puto!
  • Ah! The boobies are out today!
  • Mi carro!
  • Pendejo (Berk), that was my car!
  • Chale!
  • Nice try, puto!
  • Dickhead!
  • Shit!
  • Ay, pinga!
  • GAHH!!
  • I need some smoke, I need to get whacked!
  • Have you got some whack-whack!
  • Game over, pendejo! (berk!)
  • Get off me pendejo! (berk!)
  • What you doing man?!
  • HEY! My porno's in there!!
  • You better hope I don't find you!!
  • Hey! Nobody takes away my porn!!
  • Hey! I want my money! That's for the big show!
  • Chale! No way!
  • Forget it man!
  • Hey there, chula!
  • Shit, I was gonna get some pussy!
  • Pussy's great for Ammu-Nation!
  • I love the cock. I love the Zebra bar.
  • Baboso cabbie!
  • Keep going man. I want that cabucha!
  • Carifa!
  • You got big bolas! Keep the change!
  • You like young girls too?!
  • Do you like Japanese school girls?
  • Do you like Bangkok?
  • You think you got the huevos (balls) for me?
  • You ready, joto? (faggot?)
  • You want some of me, maricon? (faggot?)
  • Mariposa! (Faggot!)
  • Aqui estoy (I'm here), shit muncher!
  • You gonna die now, pendejo! (punk!)
  • Time's up, amorcita! (faggot!)
  • You're going down, joto! (faggot!)
  • I'm gonna fill you up!

Refined pedestrian

  • I can't believe my nose!
  • Did someone pass gas?
  • You smell like shit sir.
  • Who cut the cheese?
  • You smell like Copenhagen.
  • My old tailor is in a box at home.
  • Whoopsie daisy!
  • Might I sniff you again, sir?
  • Excuse me, sir!
  • Your vehicle appears to be in the way!
  • You are creating an incident!
  • You are not moving when you should be!
  • Please forgive me!
  • No broken bones!
  • Quality tailoring makes the man!
  • Trust funds for everyone!
  • This weather is dissapointing.
  • I love to travel! France is so lovely!
  • A tattoo is for heathens.
  • You smell exquisite.
  • You remind me of spring!
  • Tattoos remind me of my service days.
  • What do you think you're doing?!
  • I'm on my way to the symphony!
  • Maniac!
  • Menace!
  • You're sick! You're dangerous!
  • I need something to keep me polite.
  • Your devotion to fitness is admirable.
  • I would like to get stoned.
  • Oh my! Please be more gentle!
  • Take more money for petrol!
  • I'll call the constable!
  • This property isn't yours!
  • You want a donation?
  • You fool!
  • Greetings sir, how do you do sir?
  • Do you enjoy the programme "law"?
  • I find Ammu-Nation supplies me well.
  • You are a gentleman and a scholar.
  • Perhaps in another colour, this supports my purposes.
  • Chauffeur! Taxi!
  • Let's hit the road!
  • With haste, young man!
  • Now hurry, and off the way we go!
  • The stickiest of the icky please.
  • My motorised penny farthing!
  • Oh dear.
  • Poor swine!
  • Your finest narcotics please.
  • That's the way the cookie crumbles!
  • If you excuse me: I must ask for my vehicle back!
  • Yes! Truly unfortunate!
  • Absolutely not!
  • How do you madam?
  • Enjoy yourself sir!
  • Sprunk taste like dirt.
  • Oh my word, no.
  • Public transportation is rubbish!
  • You sir are a menace!
  • I regret stepping into this contrivance!
  • My blind wolfhound drives better than you!
  • Oh my goodness!
  • Did you notice that person?!
  • You've killed the poor person!
  • My solicitor has been informed! I shall alert the authorities!
  • Violence is a last resort.
  • You have forced me into action!
  • Regrettable, but necessary.
  • Reason, obviously won't work here.
  • There's only one way to solve this.
  • I am prepared to fillet you!
  • You have forfeited the rules of fair play.
  • I can scrap!

DJ

  • Everyone is tryin' to rip me off.
  • Come on man!
  • Let's go, let's go!
  • I got places I wanna be!
  • No way homie, I'm on to you.
  • Nice to meet you.
  • Hey when you back up, the people say beep!
  • My two-wheeled baby!
  • When they set up a needle, you set up a production sequel.
  • I should get big muscles like yours!
  • Pencil dick asshole!
  • Corporate gangsta!
  • Oh you can take it, I need all the the insurance money.
  • Stop rhymin' and start runnin'!
  • What?! Stop what are you doing?! My recs are in there!
  • I'm a kill you now!
  • Yeah, you be sorry now!
  • Holy remix!
  • Bless my diamond stylus!
  • Street means body armour!
  • Hey! Hey! This car is also my home!
  • Homey, I ain't afraid of your major label bullshit.
  • Great spinnin' 2 inches!
  • These city streets ain't safe!
  • Stop! That's my house! Uh, I mean my car!
  • When I get famous, you'll be sorry!
  • Didn't you realise I'm the prince of the dicks?
  • Pick it up baby bop, come on!
  • Aw, you got some nice moves there!
  • No homie, you can keep the change!
  • Oh no! My house! I mean my car!
  • Be careful, this car is also my home.
  • Gon' get my music over my dead body! (?)
  • Nobody tries to steal my music!
  • Oh, you wanna die? Sure!
  • My fists are as strong as my beats!
  • You want beats? I give you beats!
  • Yeah, you got one foot in the grave already!
  • Give it up, shithead!

Old bathroom pedestrian/hotdog vendor

  • World of Cog has the best toilet paper!
  • AH! MY LAWN! MY HEART! MY EYES!
  • Come on! I gotta take a leak!
  • Get off the road, I wanna take a piss!
  • Not now! I wanna take a dump!
  • GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
  • GET THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE OUTTA HERE!
  • MOVE! You're between me and the john!
  • All I want to do today is sit on the john.
  • Your girl's got no nose!
  • You gotta wipe your ass too, youngster!
  • SHIT ON A STICK!!
  • Show some respect dummy!
  • Uuuugh... my heart!
  • This street is too small!
  • What?! Yo shit don't stink.
  • Crack my head, crack yo head!
  • You be careful now.
  • What in damnation is going on?!
  • Ain't cha got self control?!
  • I soiled myself because of you!
  • That car will be your coffin!!!
  • I took a good dump this morning!
  • You ain't gettin' away dummy!
  • Hey! I'm an old man!
  • Underwear is overated man!
  • You thieving dummy!
  • You goddamn dummy!
  • Man, I need some tits to squeeze.
  • Is your aftershave made from faeces?! (belches)
  • Your cologne is very sophisticated!
  • MOVE THAT BUCKET!
  • The urinals in this joint smell good!
  • OW! What the...
  • I've been to every public bathroom in the city.
  • Your tattoos are giving me the runs!
  • Man this weather SUCKS!
  • Careful dummy!
  • Cool it meathead!
  • This is bullshit!!
  • Shit!!!
  • LOOK OUT!! WATCH OUT!!
  • AHHHHH!!! Not my time!
  • I need something extra special!
  • Feet don't fail me now!
  • Look out! I've got a heart condition!
  • Shiiiiit!
  • GET BACK HERE YA THIEVING DUMMY!!
  • You can't take a coffin from a old man!!
  • You gotta be faster than that boy!!
  • This is supposed to be a nice city!
  • How's it hangin' bro?
  • My ass still hurts in that Indian food.
  • I love Cluckin' Bell on Tuesdays.
  • Burger Shot has some quality meat.
  • Damn no respect kids!!
  • Let me outta here already!!
  • Have you been to Rusty Brown's?
  • You've reached the end of days!
  • Get ready for an ass whoopin'!
  • I'll eat you and spit you out!
  • I'll show you how it's done!
  • No tomorrow for you!
  • I eat dummies for breakfast!
  • You ain't even gonna have an ass to kick!
  • I'm still young enough to whoop ya!
  • Your time here is up!

Orange 12 pedestrian

  • Come on fool. Kick me a Logger.
  • I ain't no alcoholic, I'm a weed head.
  • Steal one drink and a bartender starts trippin'.
  • I ain't nursin' no drunk.
  • Do Loggers come in a 40 ounce?
  • I prefer Chronic.
  • Man, stop playin' with me!
  • Don't you know what road rage is?
  • Honk means get the hell on, man!
  • Is you high?
  • You're like my asshole, always holdin' up shit.
  • Move bitch!
  • I'm too high for this shit, move!
  • You playin' with me? Stop playin'.
  • Don't push me.
  • I've come to the edge, man.
  • Man, don't be runnin' up on me.
  • Raise up, mark.
  • Can't you see I'm busy bein' high?
  • All that aggression.
  • You on sherms, too?
  • Go smoke some cheeba.
  • You're Madd Doggin' me, man.
  • Get your hands out my pockets!
  • I'm a get me a Happy Farmer Kit.
  • That esse put dust in my weed.
  • I smoke cause it gives me peace of mind.
  • Them white boys had me on Crystal Meth.
  • Weed, money, same difference.
  • Gonna shoot me over $200, man?
  • I smoke cause it gives me knowledge.
  • You still wearin' prison issue, man?
  • You spend clothes money on crack, huh?
  • It's laundry day, huh?
  • You so fat, you jumped in the air and you got stuck.
  • Back of your neck look like a pack of hot dogs.
  • Did someone die in your mouth?
  • Do you shower in do-do?
  • Man, you stink.
  • Why you got to be like that?
  • Man, why you tryin' to fade me?
  • Nice outfit, high roller.
  • Came up on some nice clothes, boy.
  • Can't find them threads at no swap meet.
  • You swollen as shit man.
  • You lift weights? I lift joints.
  • Smells good, boy.
  • Where can I buy your smell?
  • Ya smell good, man.
  • Now I got to steal another bike.
  • Gimme drugs! I'll forget about the bike.
  • Stolen bikes don't have no insurance.
  • I'm the one supposed to drive high, not you.
  • Now I got to steal another car.
  • I would call the po-po.
  • You got enough weed to fix this?
  • I'm too high for this shit.
  • Damn!
  • What the hell?
  • I'm movin'!
  • Aw, you trippin'.
  • Stay off the crack, man.
  • You on one.
  • Scandalous!
  • Say, man, what's on special?
  • I don't smoke all the time.
  • I need the good shit, man! The good shit!
  • Gimme the proper, man.
  • I'm a lick you like Mr. Whoopee.
  • I'm a soak you up like a biscuit.
  • You, me, weed - what a threesome.
  • Stoned with a stone cold jab.
  • My heart don't pump no Sprunk.
  • I'm a beat ya like you stole somethin'.
  • Knockin' you out, and smokin' your money.
  • I hate getting stole on.
  • Another one, damn it.
  • I can't loose man, hit me!
  • I feel my card comin', hit me!
  • Feelin' lucky, hit me!
  • Come one, dealer!
  • Gimme another one!
  • Hit me!
  • Bitch!
  • Dealer, you cheatin'!
  • I ain't got enough left for a sack.
  • That ain't count.
  • I said "Stay", not "Hit".
  • Man, I'm cool, no more cards.
  • This hand is righteous.
  • No more, I'll ride with this hear.
  • No more, dealer.
  • I'll stay.
  • No, I'll stay.
  • Yes!
  • We dealers stick together, you know.
  • Man, I can't be faded, man.
  • Did you think you could beat me?
  • All praise due to the weed!
  • Santos fools runnin' the casino, man.
  • Do it again.
  • I let you win that time, man.
  • Hell yeah, let's go smoke and celebrate.
  • Spend yo winnin's on a sack.
  • We played Russian roulette.
  • My P.O. don't know I left Los Santos.
  • Hey, lemme borrow some of ya chips.
  • Let me borrow some of ya chips.
  • I got all ya'lls money!
  • Did it on one coin too!
  • The slots love me!
  • One yank, made all that bank.
  • Man, I was just playin' with ya.
  • Man, stop playin', the po-po watchin'.
  • Calm yo ass down.
  • How you gonna draw down on your homie?
  • I thought we was homies?
  • This fool is trippin'!
  • Man, I stole this first!
  • Damn, I'm slippin'.
  • Come on, man. Ain't we the same set?
  • Man, you on one.
  • Wait, man, the rollers is watchin'.
  • I'm a civilian, man.
  • How you gonna run up on me?
  • Damn, you scandalous!
  • Oh, busta!
  • Stupid ass mark!
  • My homies gonna find you!
  • Bitch!
  • You ain't a G!
  • You know we enemies now, right?
  • Yeah, boy, you better bail!
  • I just got to steal another one. Shit.
  • Why you drive off, mark!
  • Man, I will kick your ass! You hear me?
  • Forget you! I'm a go smoke.
  • Fine!
  • Fine! You can't have none of my endo.
  • Why you trippin', man?
  • I just stole this money from ya mamma!
  • You just gonna smoke it up.
  • Hold up, man, the rollers is watchin'.
  • Yeah, but I can't fade it, man.
  • Fo sho.
  • That's some mark ass shit.
  • The bomb, man.
  • Oh, that's right!
  • And it's tight, man!
  • Nah, but it's crackin' though, huh?
  • Not yet, man
  • Nah, man, nah.
  • Oh, no.
  • Man, you blowin' my high.
  • Get out my face, trick.
  • Hey little mamma.
  • What's poppin'.
  • Hey, baby, you don't remember me, do you?
  • Hey, man, where the weed at?
  • What's happenin', homeboy?
  • What's up dog?
  • Call me with some Chronic, aight?
  • Later!
  • I gotta bail, in a minute.
  • Later homie.
  • Lemme go find some Chronic. Later.
  • You know about that Happy Farmer Kit?
  • You been to Sha-La's yet?
  • Ever smoke weed from San Fierro?
  • You tried that grub at Cluckin' Bell yet?
  • Hey, you visit that Blotto shop?
  • Some fat sherm is makin' me tweak.
  • Weed spot is dry as hell man.
  • Man, I've got some Northern Lights, straight from Canada.
  • Got me nice and sprung!
  • I ain't feelin' nothin'.
  • A second chance at life?
  • That shit look painful.
  • Do it hurt?
  • Walk it off!
  • Well your draws don't smell too bad.
  • I dun spent all my duckets on weed.
  • Damn! This is the bomb!
  • Should I buy a dub, or should I buy this?
  • I can't fade this, man.
  • How much is this shit again?
  • Can I pay for this with bud?
  • I can refund this tomorrow, right?
  • Yeah, my money smell like weed, so!?
  • You know I'm about to kick your ass, right?
  • Come on fool, get off!
  • Stop that shit!
  • You're ruinin' my high, man!
  • I ain't got no money!
  • How about I pay you Saturday mornin'?
  • You drive like you on drugs.
  • I know you can see me!
  • Taxi!
  • You got ran the hell over!
  • Scrooch over, let me hit someone too.
  • Forget drive-by's. You drive over!
  • Take me to the drugs, pronto!
  • I got to pay you in bud.
  • Drive! I'm clockin' here!
  • Thanks, man!
  • I'm a go get high now.
  • Righteous!
  • If I ever need speed for weed, you the one.
  • Here's some extra, go on, get high.
  • Extra chump change for some Cheeba.
  • Am I high, or did we switch drivers?
  • That's my dealer you jacked, man!
  • Say, drop me off at the weed spot.
  • That Chronic got me, man.
  • Man, why you want to steal this bucket anyway?
  • Now how will my dealer do the drop off?

Quantum Man

  • When will you villains learn?
  • Taste the sweet anvils that are my fists.
  • If you give me money, I'll give a super blowjob.
  • I forgot to sew pockets on my tights.
  • Quantum Man can be your drinking buddy!
  • My superhearing has detected an emergency!
  • You villains never learn!
  • Oh! That tickles! Taste my wrath!
  • You dare to aim at citizens?!
  • Quantum Man never shrinks from battle!
  • Must...catch...bullets!
  • Stop! In the name of justice!
  • I have no choice but to agree.
  • Agreed, good citizen!
  • SILENCE! Evil one! Your deeds has come to an end!
  • Be vigilant!
  • Why thank you good citizen!
  • I only use my powers against supervillains.
  • Hello good citizen!
  • You are risking everything in combat!
  • I have powerful thighs.
  • My super-speed is no match for you!
  • You dare aim at Quantum Man?!
  • Panic not good citizens! FLEE!
  • I dare you to immobilize that firearm!
  • This planet is insane!
  • I am Quantum Man, I have come to the universe to protect the innocent!
  • Hello female citizen!
  • Hello sir!
  • Have you seen the regular reaction?
  • Glory thee to this powerful moment!
  • In the name of subnotomic!
  • On my world, I was known as a bum.
  • STOP! In the name of justice!
  • There is no reasoning with people!
  • I must agree with the gravity of this universe.
  • My compliments good lady.
  • Please excuse me citizen.
  • I must return to crime patrol. My duty calls.
  • Hello there sir!
  • Dark forces are gathering here.
  • Your timing was inplecible.
  • Do you know what you've done?!

African-American hippie

  • Fight the power, brother!
  • Let's be peaceful, brother!
  • They don't want us expanding our minds.
  • Relax! I'm only pulling out my wallet!
  • Brother I have no beef with you.
  • You see a black man trying to drive?
  • I believe I have a right to self-defence.
  • I know who you are pig!
  • I'm gonna beat the Uncle Tom outta you!
  • You gonna do drive by Uncle Tom?
  • Always a sellout pulling a trigger!
  • I'm late for Dr.Ackbar's knowledge.
  • Stop harassing me 5-0!
  • Get a good life snitch!
  • I like message reps!
  • Jack Howardson making pigs look cool!
  • Don't eat to die brother! EAT TO LIVE!
  • Clean the lies from your lives!
  • The revolution needs brothers like you!
  • Capitalism breeds accidents!
  • Capitalism breeds car crashes!
  • Legalise it and we'll advertise it!
  • My people love it.
  • You need to be corrected brother!
  • Please brother! Stop the violence!
  • Unhand me you sellout!
  • Thieving Uncle Tom!
  • Brainwashed bastard!
  • Of course but I won't discuss it openly!
  • Kiss my ass snitch!
  • Traitor!
  • Beware the beast sister!
  • Beware the beast brother!
  • Crack dealers destroy our community!
  • The New World Order has enslaved our people!
  • My fine African garments!
  • Your driving lacks street knowledge!
  • Stay in the driving seat brother!
  • Now we're both victims of capitalism!
  • Those garments are attrocious brother.
  • Look at that strong black brother, now that's an fine African warrior!
  • Brothers in the drivers seats intimidate you?!
  • You're acting kinda strange.
  • Violence breeds more violence fool!
  • You're too old for the man!
  • Rejecting messager, but consisting the message.
  • No more crime please uncle brother!
  • I only deal with revolutionaries.
  • Heard much about the New World Order?
  • Capitalism breeds violent deaths!
  • You know anything about the crack conspiracy?
  • Too strong and too black to die!
  • Look at that! They're hatin' me!
  • The revolution is coming, I'm wearing my best African garments.
  • The ancestors sent me back!
  • San Fierro is waking up to the truth!
  • TAXI!
  • You're not a government agent are you?
  • Jacking cars is what they want you to do!

Kifflom backpacker

  • Kifflom, brother uncle!
  • Are you looking for spiritual answers?
  • Kifflom! Kifflom!
  • Can I interest you in religion?
  • Dinosaurs are a lie! FACT!
  • Cris Formage saved my life!
  • Epsilon protect me!!
  • Put me up brother uncle!
  • Something big is happening in American religion.
  • You should read our literature!
  • Can I talk to you about religion?
  • Kifflom! Kifflom be praised!!
  • Don't corrupt me! I'm saved!
  • Kifflom and Krant!
  • Before I read the tract, I was lost.
  • Careful, brother uncle.
  • Careful, careful.
  • Do you need spiritual guidance?
  • Find out!
  • Have you ever taken a karate lesson for free?
  • Have you thought about the answers to the universe?
  • I bring a message of peace.
  • I haven't been with my parents since I've joined the fellowship.
  • I haven't spoke to my parents since...
  • I lie with nine of my sisters every week.
  • Join our fellowship.
  • No, it's a terrible lie.
  • Kifflom! Krant! Help!
  • Have you ever seen asperm? It’s a lie!
  • On the road take care in the woods of darkness.
  • Partner sharing is a integrated part of Cris's vision.
  • The world's beautiful, and so are you.
  • Yes, it's all thanks to epsilonism.
  • They should all read the Epsilon tract.
  • Kifflom, sister aunt!
  • Have you read the Epsilon tract?
  • Biology is a LIE!
  • I love the sexual side of Epsilonism!
  • Epsilonism doesn't allow this!!

Construction worker

  • Out of the way, man!
  • Hurry up, I gotta get to the site!
  • Come on, I got work to do!
  • Move it, asshole!
  • Buy American, you piece of shit!
  • I don't got all day here!
  • Move it or lose it, moron!
  • This ain't a parking lot, asshole!
  • I'm gonna be late for my bowling league!
  • What's your problem, pal?
  • Got some sort of disorder, buddy?
  • Tourettes, huh?
  • Watch where you're walking, moron!
  • You want me to shoot you with my nailgun?
  • Yeah, just try that again.
  • Do you want a black eye?
  • Easy!
  • Hey!
  • Watch it!
  • You in a rush?
  • You pushin' me, buddy?
  • What's your problem, buddy?
  • My bowling team's in first place.
  • Foreman takes all the credit.
  • Got this new table saw.
  • Bowling is such an intellectual game.
  • Fell off the scaffolding last week.
  • I wouldn't even wear that on the site!
  • You look like shit!
  • What the hell are you wearing?
  • Who paid you to wear those clothes?
  • Woah, fatty!
  • You're gonna give yourself a heart attack!
  • My god, you sure are fat!
  • You are a fat bastard!
  • Dude! Take a shower!
  • Try some deodorant, buddy!
  • And I thought I smelled bad!
  • My god, you stink!
  • Very flashy!
  • You sure know how to dress!
  • I like those clothes!
  • You must be in construction too, huh!
  • Gee, I wouldn't mess with you!
  • You a trainer or something?
  • Nice cologne, bro!
  • Bet you get a lot of ladies with that cologne!
  • Maybe I should try that cologne!
  • I wish I smelled that good!
  • You been to that new 24/7?
  • You tried using a belt cinder?
  • You ever do it yourself?
  • Have you checked out that new Willard dealership?
  • Have you ever tried bowling?
  • I oughta kick your ass!
  • Bring it on, buddy!
  • Yeah, this's gonna be fun!
  • I'm gonna mess you up!
  • I needed a release all day!
  • Come on, asshole!
  • Let's see what you got, douchebag!
  • Go ahead, make me hurt!

Ex-convict thug

  • Why you touchin' my beer?
  • Don't make me get outta my seat!
  • Raise up little bitch!
  • Get outta road, punk!
  • Move, chump, before I get upset!
  • Don't make me kick your ass!
  • You know where you at, fool?
  • Don't make me repeat myself. Move!
  • Get outta way, li'l bitch!
  • You can take me - I like it better in jail anyway(!)
  • You know who I am, chump?
  • I'm 'bout to nut up, punk.
  • I'll break your neck, punk.
  • Raise up little bitch.
  • Lookin' for problems? Keep trippin'.
  • I should slap yo' bitch ass.
  • You wanna die little bitch?
  • Lovin' another 187, punk.
  • Lookin' to get beat down, chump?
  • You're looking half-dead, fool.
  • Get outta my way.
  • You're askin' for it, fool.
  • In the pen, we play strip football.
  • I'm a Rusty Brown doughnut eatin' gangsta!
  • Nice wheels for a chump.
  • That's my ride, little punk!
  • You drive like a little bitch!
  • I'm taking bike repairs out your ass!
  • I'm taking car repairs out your ass!
  • I'm taking repairs out your ass!
  • I'm too big for little sales, sir!
  • Watch out, punk!
  • Stupid mark!
  • This shit better be good, punk.
  • In jail, being on top ain't gay.
  • You're a sissy with a silly ass car.
  • Nice car asshole!
  • Is that yo mama's car?
  • That is one ugly ass car!
  • I made a fool drink piss.
  • Steroids make your dick do WHAT?
  • I just stole that bike too!
  • I just stole that car too!
  • I just stole this thing too, I hope yo mama's a mechanic!
  • I like that car little bitch.
  • Please sir! I'll be a good little thug!
  • Who pulls me out of my car?!
  • You sneaky punk! It's your funeral!
  • This is my vehicle, punk!
  • Run if you want to live mark!
  • Show some respect, punk!
  • Jackin' my homie? I should jack you!
  • Taxi! Bring yo ass over here!
  • Bail before I make your heart fail.
  • I'm a give that fat ass a spanky!
  • Smoke, sterm, steroids give it here.
  • This shit better be good punk, any bad trips I'll kill you.
  • Damn I missed out on all the fun!
  • Another 187 haha!
  • This murder put me in the mood!
  • I like seeing blood. LOVE it!
  • That dead body made my day.
  • It's on now, li'l man!
  • I love squabblin'!
  • It's lights out for you, chump!
  • I'ma make you wash my drawers!
  • You must wanna die, li'l man!
  • I kill you wit' my bare hands!
  • Come get knocked out like yo' mama!
  • You wanna scrap wit' a killa', fool?
  • You boxin' wit' a booty bandit, punk!
  • Let's work up a sweat, li'l man!
  • Yeah, let's go head up!
  • Time for a donation, chump.
  • This is a G ride you jackin', chump!
  • Fool, you jackin' a straight killa!
  • I'ma snap yo' neck like a pencil!
  • Li'l sneaky bitch!
  • It's your funeral, chump!
  • Better leave Los Santos!
  • I'll find you, bitch!
  • It's on now!
  • 187 li'l man!
  • Big mistake, bitch!
  • Next time, sissy!

Bikini woman

  • Get your fat body off the beach.
  • You smell like shit.
  • I'm special, asshole!
  • Wow, you smell hot!
  • My thong, asshole!
  • Go pick somebody fat instead!
  • Look at that guy!
  • Hey you, you looking good!
  • Nooooo! My hair!!
  • You can't shoot me!! I'm American!!
  • Hey fatty!
  • Hey porky!
  • Hey lardy!
  • I'm fighting the war on fat.
  • Get the hell out of my shadow.
  • Good luck losing the weight.
  • Stop staring at me!!
  • I'm not broken, am I?
  • Stop it you asshole!
  • Go hit a fat person!
  • Screw you dick!
  • I thank God for not making me fat.
  • Stop molesting me!
  • You are disgustingly fat!!

Mohawk punk

  • He got nothing on me!
  • Hey this is bullshit! Where are the charges?
  • Man, get out of the way!
  • OUT OF THE WAY!
  • Something's gonna be very wrong with you!
  • Everyone knows me at the casinos!
  • You call that a car?
  • Yo, yo, yo, yo!
  • That tattoo is FIERCE!!
  • OPEN YOUR EYES MAN!!
  • Man, I got this detailed!
  • Damn idiot!
  • Nooooooooo!!
  • What are you retarded?!
  • Can we just talk this out!
  • WA-HA-HO!!!
  • AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
  • I was done dealin' with diapers, I'm gonna kick your ass!
  • Oh what do you think you're doing?!
  • Oh this is not cool man!
  • You got no witnesses?
  • You wanna see a trick pal?
  • What are you, some kind of joker?
  • Hey watch your shoes man!
  • Man I just invented this trick!
  • You wanna bet on that?
  • What's the matter with you?
  • Unlike you I got somewhere to be!
  • Man some people...!
  • Come on man, let's beat the phones!
  • Ho ho, I'm feelin' lucky today!
  • Man, that is a rolling disaster!
  • Nice car pal!
  • Now that car is cool!
  • BLIND OR SOMETHING?!!
  • Hey LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY BIKE!!
  • Oh you're blind as a bat!
  • Oh what did you do?!
  • OOOHH!!!
  • You call that driving?!
  • AAAHHH!!!
  • You better not screw me man, I need some of that stuff.
  • Man, I hope you like knuckle sandwiches!
  • Oh watch where you point that!
  • Oh this is not working out!
  • I won't have any insurance!!!
  • MAN I JUST STOLE THAT CAR BACK!!!
  • GIMME THAT!!
  • I need this more than you do!
  • Awesome!
  • N.O.!
  • Go fly a kite!
  • Forget you!
  • Have you played craps?
  • Yo, the police are hassling me all the time!
  • I don't believe this!
  • Look at the tag on that!
  • Hey TAXI!!!
  • HEY WATCH OUT MAN!!! OH GOD!!!!
  • HEY THIS AIN'T DRIVING MAN!! THIS IS HUNTING!!
  • Have you driven a Hustler?
  • I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!
  • I'm gonna crush your skull man!
  • You ever gamble!
  • Man, I'm banned from three casinos!
  • Man looks better on the windows!
  • UH!! I'M GONNA DIE MAN!!!
  • Playin' cards are gonna make me a millionairre!

"Old Cletus" vagrant

  • What do you mean I can't use the bathroom? I gotta take my personal business somewhere.
  • Hey, you need a bodyguard player. I can protect anyone around here.
  • Hey! Pardner...
  • A...am I invisible?
  • I'm not gonna be pushed around, son!
  • You want something?
  • Now you got the cooties, jackass!
  • Excusez moi, asshole!
  • Tag! You're it! Ha-ha-ha...
  • That was kind of nice, do it again!
  • Slow down, youngblood!
  • That's just plain rude.
  • You've heard of personal space?
  • Watch it, pardner!
  • Something died in my underpants.
  • Has anyone seen my lizard?
  • I can't even masturbate anymore...
  • I had crabs the size of a baseball.
  • The liverwurst was green, but I ate it anyway.
  • I once had a dream, but it died in San Andreas.
  • When I find that chihuahua, I'm gonna kill it!
  • My stomach is rumbling...
  • I shouldn't have eaten that taco...
  • Have you ever been to that Glory Hole Theme Park?
  • You ever suck the fudge of a Rusty Brown's ring doughnut?
  • I hate this place.
  • Woof! Woof!
  • I was a welterweight champion in '68.
  • I've got nothing to lose!
  • I'll kill you!
  • Don't mess with the Big Dog!
  • A...am I supposed to be scared?
  • You ain't got the guts!
  • I'm already saved, are you?
  • Go ahead, shoot!
  • That'll get me to heaven.
  • Two words for your gun: "Screw" and "you"!
  • Mercy on a paroled man!
  • I've got so much to live for!
  • I can dodge your damn bullets, you jackass!
  • When will I find true love...
  • Jumping Jehosophat! I'm not ready to die!
  • OK, OK, I'll shut up.
  • You mugging me? Do I look like your daddy to you?
  • Hello there missy!
  • Good day, sweetheart!
  • Have you sniffed that icky-icky?
  • Burger Shot burgers are tasty, even in the dumpster!

Rich hispanic woman

  • Please tell me you'd be moving soon!
  • Ándale!
  • I swear to God you'd better move!
  • Hijo de la chingada, I ain't got time for this!
  • You'd better just move along!
  • Move! Your! Ass!
  • Carajo!
  • This is so wrong...
  • Hello? I'm late!
  • You're going to hold me up?!
  • I know you didn't just hit me!
  • Get your ass back here now!
  • Excuse me!?
  • That's as far as you get with me.
  • Don't tell me you just didn't see me!
  • I'm expecting an apology!
  • Do I look cheap to you?
  • You're lucky my man isn't here, cabron.
  • Did I say you could touch me?
  • You better say you're sorry.
  • Uh-huh. I don't stand for cheating.
  • These shoes are so expensive...
  • Thinking I'm smarter than everybody I know.
  • Everybody wants to be like me.
  • It's so great to be rich and beautiful...
  • That's a car, right?
  • You're gonna make me look at that piece of shit?!
  • Your car sucks!
  • That's an ugly car!
  • This area has a dress code, you know.
  • You buy that at Binco's?
  • Did you buy your shirt at Binco's?
  • You look like a slob!
  • That hair is nappy...
  • Honey, who lied to you?
  • Did your mama cut your hair?
  • That's a terrible haircut.
  • I know you heard me!
  • Cabron, I know you've didn't just ignore me!
  • I'd ride in that car anytime!
  • That's a hot car!
  • That's a fine ride!
  • Finally, a man who dresses like one.
  • I wouldn't mind being seen with you!
  • You always dress as good?
  • I like a man who's not afraid to shop.
  • Where did you get that cut!?
  • What salon do you go to?
  • Nice looks, baby!
  • Oooh, I like your hair!
  • AH! Carajo, get off me!
  • Take your ghetto shit back to Ganton!
  • You best just to step off!
  • Get him off me!
  • I will not stand for this shit!
  • My foot!
  • You're not worth it.
  • It's the bestest!
  • It's the worst!
  • Ever been to the block where I grew up?
  • This area is really coming up!
  • Have you ever driven a Pfister?
  • That chihuahua shit is nasty!
  • I ain't interested in Herr Gruber's Spa.
  • Hey chica!
  • Hi cutie!
  • Hey baby!
  • Hey chico!
  • It sucks!
  • It's terrible!
  • It's the worst!
  • Bye bye, girlfriend!
  • Isn't my dress cute?
  • Hey! Taxi!
  • Right here's good.
  • Watch where you're going!
  • Gaah!
  • Diva!
  • Watch it!
  • Whatcha!?
  • That's it!
  • What the---!?

Depressed black woman

  • I'm having a breakdown in here!
  • This is just like Inversion Therapy!
  • I'm CRACKING up in here!
  • These things are sent to TEST us!
  • You gotta get outta my way!
  • MOVE!
  • Please, move!
  • Come on, I'm late for therapy!
  • Hey, look out!
  • Excuse you.
  • Push a girl? Very clever.
  • Do I look invisible?!
  • I've got enough problems without you pushing me!
  • Pushing a woman around?
  • How impressive!
  • Look where you're going, bully!
  • The world is a terrible, terrible place.
  • Guilt has ruined my life.
  • Wealth has so many responsibilities.
  • I just want to help people, and myself.
  • Oh, I know how it is to suffer.
  • The world hates people like me!
  • Mr. Fontaine is a genius!
  • I like shopping, and designer clothes...
  • Shopping really helps my self worth!
  • I blame my father...
  • Those shoes... they're wonderful!
  • Love the hair, m'brother.
  • Those shoes are out, Mister!
  • You must hate yourself in shoes like that!
  • SICK bastard!
  • FILTHY bastard!
  • He wrecked my car! He hates me!
  • Why does this always happen to me!?
  • He's trying to kill me!
  • Call my therapists! Any of them!
  • I'm moving to Ohio!

White young businesswoman

  • Yeah, It's just a temporary job.
  • I've got plans for my life.
  • I'm gonna travel the world one day.
  • Meet me a rich guy and live in Barbados.
  • And kids. I'd love more kids.
  • Sure I slept with my boss...
  • What's the holdup?!
  • Come on, I've got kids to feed!
  • I gotta be someplace soon!
  • My kids are home alone!
  • Get outta the way!
  • Should have taken the freeway!
  • Darn it, I'm gonna be late!
  • What's the problem?
  • Hey, watch out, sugar.
  • Flowers would be nice.
  • Watch the lady!
  • You're no gentleman!
  • You're trying to fill me up?
  • Heads up, sugar.
  • Oh, don't mind me...
  • Well excuse me!
  • Do I get an apology?
  • I'm sorry. Am I invisible?
  • I got kids you know!
  • My ex is behind on his child support again.
  • Five kids - and I've kept my figure. Look at me!
  • Why do I get sent out for food?
  • I refuse to blow my way to the top.
  • Robert thinks he can fool around with me?
  • My whole life's spent in the damn office.
  • Me and the girls need a night out.
  • I am not the office gopher.
  • Damn heels are killing me!
  • Need a good rich man to whisk me away.
  • What a pile of junk!
  • I prefer a quality car myself.
  • What a heap of shit!
  • Check out the raggedy man!
  • Bumps everywhere these days...
  • Nice look... for last year!
  • Try working out a little.
  • You are so fat!
  • You're revolting being that size!
  • Everybody's too busy these days...
  • Suit yourself!
  • You're lost, sugar.
  • What a great color!
  • Hey, buster! I love that car!
  • Wow, checkin' you out!
  • You're walking style, sugar!
  • I love your clothes, buster.
  • Mind if I get a squeeze?
  • Mmm... beefcake.
  • Ooh, baby, you're just what a woman needs!
  • I can't afford to buy another car!
  • My manicure!
  • Well that puts a cherry on the shitcake!
  • My car!...
  • Holy hairspray!
  • Oh you hit me!
  • Screw you!
  • My boss is gonna kill me!
  • One word for you: compensation!
  • Take this down. Screw you!
  • I've got a good lawyer!
  • Idiot!
  • Dumbass!
  • Get his number!
  • Police!
  • Holy crap!
  • Sick bastard!
  • Blind asshole!
  • Freaking freak!
  • Watch it!
  • You've picked the wrong secretary!
  • I'm sick of dictation!
  • I'm gonna enjoy this!
  • You think you can get away with this?!
  • Bring it on, mister!
  • I've had enough for one day!
  • I am one angry bitch!
  • Come on, asshole! I'm a working mom!
  • You're lucky I'm not packing!

Black young businesswoman

  • You hit like a bitch!
  • Females have got squabbles too, sucker!
  • Excuse me...
  • Beating up girls, right!? (if provoked)
  • I firm with stunt doubles, asshole!
  • You stepped on my Shodi! (bumped into)
  • The studio might give me a promotion! (talking to pedestrians)

"Ninja Wannabe" tourist

  • Hey, move over, punk-ass!
  • What are you, retarded?
  • What is this shit?
  • The hell? Move!
  • Hey, you think this is funny?
  • Get outta the way, shithead!
  • Are you screwing with me?
  • Move your shit outta my way!
  • Move over, dude!
  • You don't wanna make me mad, bro!
  • Hey, watch it.
  • Watch where you going.
  • You messing with me?
  • What the hell?
  • What's your problem?
  • What are you, blind?
  • Careful, shithead!
  • Buzz off.
  • What was that for?
  • Get away from me!
  • Watch it, pighead!
  • Get off, dick!
  • I've got the body of a ninja.
  • I'll eat your dog.
  • And they say eyes are small.
  • I was a badass in a former life too.
  • Have you dated an American?
  • Yeah, I really like french fries.
  • Both my parents are dead.
  • I told the cop: "Hey, don't molest me!".
  • Ladies love me... I think.
  • I've shaved downstairs this morning.
  • I've slept with Scotsman last night.
  • And I thought I have no taste...
  • Are you wanna play... what the hell are you wearing?
  • Dude, are you wearing curtains?
  • Does your mom dress you?
  • God, you're a whale!
  • You go to a sumo school?
  • Hey, fatass!
  • Yeah, it was sunny a second ago!
  • Your tits are enormous!
  • Are you wearing a diaper?
  • What is up with that smell?
  • You smell like you're from England!
  • Blind man walking!
  • What are you, shitting in your pants?
  • Hey, I'm talking to you, jerk!
  • You think you're tough, huh?
  • Nice gear, man!
  • Damn, you look money!
  • Hey, we're about the same size, are we?
  • Those are some great threads!
  • How often you work out, bro?
  • Damn, you look good!
  • Wish I had big muscles!
  • Man, you're ripped!
  • Is that Bouche Cologne?
  • Careful near my sister with that smell!
  • I bet the girls are all over you.
  • That cologne smells smooth.
  • Watch it, moron!
  • Are you trying to kill me?!
  • This is gonna cost you, dickhead!
  • You don't mess with my car, you just don't!
  • You better be loaded!
  • Look at that shit!
  • I'm gonna kill you!
  • My freaking car!
  • Asshole!
  • You trying to kill me?!
  • Hey, shithead!
  • Watch it!
  • You almost ran me over!
  • That was freaking close!
  • You freaking jerk!
  • You stupid idiot!
  • What the...?!
  • Why, you're lucky I saw you!
  • This is better be no Chinese food.
  • You better not be giving me crap.
  • Quality, man, I want quality!
  • Looks good, smells good!
  • This is shit, I want a refund!
  • Give me some good smoke!
  • This better get me whacked!
  • What do we have here?
  • Check that out!
  • Wow!
  • Happy New Year to you too!
  • Show me what you got, bitch!
  • Come on, baby!
  • Take it easy, grandma!
  • I'm gonna enjoy hurting you!
  • Let's see what you got, asshole!
  • Come and get me, punk!
  • I could kill you with one hand, shithead!
  • Give to me, come on!
  • You sure you're ready for this?
  • I hope you like hospitals!
  • Asshole's got a gun!..
  • I don't need this shit!
  • ...Shit, I don't wanna get shot!
  • A psycho has a gun!
  • That's a real gun, man?!
  • Hey, wait a minute!
  • Don't even think about it, punk!
  • You're not gonna get away with this shit!
  • Hey, no way!
  • You're gonna regret this!
  • Don't make me beat you up!
  • You've got exactly three seconds to get lost!
  • Do I look like a jerk to you?!
  • You don't have the balls for it!
  • No way in hell!
  • Get your freaking hands off me!
  • Hey, stop!
  • You're so much shit!
  • You're gonna pay for this!
  • Nobody touches my car!
  • You're DEAD!
  • I'll find you!
  • You stinking piece of shit!
  • I know your face!
  • I don't believe this!
  • That's my car, dick!
  • I'm coming after you!
  • What's your problem?
  • Love you too, asshole!
  • ...Was I talking to you?
  • Yeah, that's cool, that's cool.
  • What's up your ass?
  • Somebody forgot to take his medication today?
  • Chill out, bro.
  • Whatever. Go to hell!
  • Come back here, shithead!
  • That's mine, asshole!
  • Hey, I need that!
  • Give it back!
  • That shit is messed up.
  • Yeah, that's bad news, bro.
  • It sucks, man, for real!
  • That's some bullshit.
  • Sure, man!
  • Oh... yeah!
  • Damn right!
  • For sure, bro.
  • No freaking way!
  • I don't think so, doofus.
  • You think I'm stupid? No.
  • Buzz off, TV head!
  • Get your ass outta here, bozo!
  • Get lost, loser!
  • Eat my shoe!
  • Hi, sweetheart.
  • Hello, baby.
  • Hey, beautiful!
  • Hey, what's up?
  • What's going on?
  • Later, sweetheart.
  • You're gonna miss me!
  • Love you too!
  • Take it easy, bro!
  • See you 'round, man!
  • Smooth ride, dude!
  • Did you lose your brains?
  • Have you ever had octopus for breakfast?
  • Have you ever driven a '79 Maibatsu?
  • Have you ever taken a karate lesson for free?
  • Have you ever been to Glory Hole Theme Park?
  • You've ever had a pearl necklace?
  • I hate those cars, and I'm not Japanese.
  • Cluckin' Bell is shit!
  • This is the greatest city in the world, man!
  • Yeah, there are hot chicks everywhere!
  • My car is so fast, it totally rocks!
  • I love Pfister, man, that's my dream car!
  • Wow... where have I been?
  • You saved me!
  • Thank you so much!
  • Jesus Christmas!
  • Damn... what the...?
  • Un-freaking-believable!
  • Whoo, I like that!
  • That's got my name all over it, man.
  • Nice!
  • You are mine.
  • Damn, that looks good!
  • I gotta have that!
  • Can I get that?
  • If I pay cash, can you cut me a deal?
  • Can I get two of those and get a discount?
  • Ring this up, shithead.
  • This one's damaged, give me a discount.
  • Hey, what'd you do that for?!
  • Hey, you ruined my brand new Kevin Clone!
  • Shit, look at this, LOOK AT THIS!
  • I wanna get you back, you paint freak!
  • You are a freak, come outta here!
  • Screw this, I want to leave!
  • I don't need this shit, you're crazy!
  • You're a maniac, you know that?
  • Yo, taxi!
  • Hey, over here!
  • Holy shit, you just hit somebody!
  • Hey, psycho, did you even see that?
  • Try driving with eyes open!
  • Oh my God!
  • Let's go!
  • Come on, get going!
  • Let's not take all day, a'ight?
  • Step on it!
  • Thanks for the ride!
  • All right!
  • Nice work!
  • Hallelujah!
  • There's a little arigato money!
  • That's for you!
  • Here's your tip!
  • What the hell are you doing?
  • Take it easy!
  • Slow down!
  • Come on, you gotta let me out!
  • What kind of shit is this?!
  • This is bullshit!
  • The hell did you do to her?
  • You're gonna pay for this!
  • What the hell happened to my car?
  • You better have a rich uncle or something!
  • You stupid bitch!
  • Thanks for taking care of my lady.
  • Thanks, she's looking good!
  • Thanks!
  • Am I glad to see her!
  • Thanks for keeping my baby safe.
  • I'd screw this car if I could.
  • I've had sex with this car.
  • You'd better take care of my baby.
  • Keep her nice and warm!
  • Give her a special place, will ya?
  • Now she's mine, got it?
  • Be careful with it.
  • Don't screw this up!

San Fierro street girl

  • Dude, get out of the way!
  • You're like totally blocking the road!
  • Are you mental? Move it!
  • Put it in drive, dude!
  • You just like bumped into me!
  • Are you blind or retarded?
  • Move it, a-hole!
  • Practicing my ollies off the roof yesterday
  • Check out this scrape on my knee!
  • He's building a killer half-pipe in the backyard
  • Sometimes, I wish I were a boy...
  • My dream is to be a professional athlete
  • Got some gnarly road rash yesterday
  • Can't help it. I just wanna skate all the time.
  • Did you get dressed in the dark?
  • Did your Mommy dress you?
  • Get away, fatty!
  • You'd better get back to the barn!
  • Man, you smell nasty!
  • Try some deodorant!
  • You have totally great style!
  • Nice outfit, dude.
  • Nice muscles.
  • Damn, you look fine!
  • You smell so good!
  • My dad just bought me that bike!
  • That's my favorite ride!
  • Oh, road rash!
  • Watch it, asshole!
  • You're totally gonna pay for that!
  • You just totally mangled my car!
  • Eat it, retard!
  • Got any pot?
  • Dude, hit me up!
  • I'm bored, need some blow.
  • I'm dying for a smoke!
  • Hey babe, you wanna go skating sometime?
  • I'm not afraid of you!
  • Oh yeah baby, let's brawl!
  • You think cause I'm a girl I can't fight?!
  • Dude, I'm gonna kick your ass!
  • I'm gonna call my brothers!
  • Hit the deck! He's psycho!
  • No way! My car!
  • Somebody stop him! He's got my car!
  • My parents are gonna kill me!
  • I was just trying to be nice!
  • Whatever, jerky!
  • Dude, not my money!
  • I need that to buy new skate trucks!
  • See ya, loser!
  • Hi, babe!
  • Hey, girl!
  • What's happenin', sugar?
  • Hey, man!
  • Hi, handsome!
  • See ya, babe.
  • Peace out, bitch!
  • Later!
  • See ya, bro!
  • Check ya later!
  • Catch ya on the flipside!
  • Have you ever done ollies off your roof?
  • Have you tried whomping?
  • Have you bought stuff at Mercury?
  • So totally over San Fierro...
  • Hate fancy shit like Didier Sachs
  • Eris makes the worst shoes!
  • I never buy clothes at Zip. What a shit hole!
  • I love skating!
  • This is my favorite neighborhood
  • I love to skate streets
  • Streets are so much better than ramp
  • Screw this, I'm gonna skate!

Drug dealers

Mexican

  • I've seen your face officer!
  • Fuck you holmes! Keep your damn hood!
  • Junkies are pussies.
  • These Junkies, Their pathetic!
  • I sell drugs to children.
  • I've been with your wife officer.
  • Holmes, you need some rich man's eye? I got what you need.
  • I ain't a drug dealer! I got a wife and 13 children!
  • Don't look at me asshole!
  • What are you looking at puto?
  • I do with your wife officer!
  • Who d'you think you're messing with?
  • You want a little pick-me-up?
  • You know this beer makes me want to piss.
  • You push me, you want to die?!
  • I love making junk things bad!
  • Please officer! This is discrimination!
  • Come back here puto!
  • ASSHOLE!
  • Come back and fight ese!
  • I'll be back asshole!
  • Who the fuck do you think you are ese?!
  • I heard you the first time, fuck off!
  • You're too proud ese!
  • You're a pathetic junkie!
  • Look at that asshole!
  • I live the American Dream!
  • I ain't a drug dealer! I'm a war veteran!
  • I remember you! I know who you are!
  • Oh no! That's real bad news!
  • This is gonna be bad for business!
  • If you have it, I'm gonna be your priest!
  • I need some better customers.
  • I know who you are, drug fiend!
  • I'll see you in half an hour I guess.
  • Customers are such losers.
  • Have you ever heard of inflation?!

Black

  • I gotta call my lawyer!
  • Got that sticky-icky-icky homie!
  • No pocus, no dirt!
  • Sherm! Sherm! Got that sherm!
  • So this is the best shit man! Government issue!
  • Ay, I rather slang than bang homie.
  • Yo man! Why you stressin' me!
  • Man! Damn! My ProLaps!
  • Hey man, I'll be back bitch ass punk!
  • Hey man, wait till I get my homeboys!
  • Man, you should've smoked me CJ!
  • Hey bitch made punk, you dead!
  • Man you can't stop my sherm, mark!
  • Man, watch your back, buster!
  • Hey man, watch your back, you buster!
  • Man, it's my block now CJ!
  • Hey man, we coming back dumpin', chump!
  • Your time is over homeboy!
  • Man, this ain't your hood for long CJ!
  • Man, you half dead homie!
  • Nothing stopping me from coming up!
  • Hey man, you tryin' to check me punk?!
  • Now what's up bitch!
  • CJ I'm gone! I'm gone!
  • Hey, I didn't know this was your hood homie!
  • Hey I don't want no problems Big CJ, haha.
  • Man, fool, I don't know you.
  • Man you pushing me up or something?
  • Hey man, see you later dawg. See ya later.
  • Man, I ain't the one homie!
  • I'm supposed to be dead dawg?!
  • I should turn my life around?
  • I ain't GOTS to do a damn thing!
  • What the hell you want mark?
  • What da hell?!

Caucasian

  • Excusez moi, asshole!
  • I'm gonna cut you a new smile!
  • This is shit man, and you know it!
  • I'm gonna mess your ghetto ass up!
  • This stuff is the shit!
  • ASSHOLE!!
  • Get a life!
  • Get a fucking life!
  • Come on man! Take the cash man! Let me go!
  • Gotta cut this shit with washing powder.
  • Gotta get my next shipment cut from San Fierro (3D Universe)
  • I hope I'm not watching my house.
  • Hey you got the wrong guy!
  • Man you're deluded!
  • Do you know who my dad is? I'm connected, ASSHOLE!
  • Whatever sport!
  • OK, I read you loud and clear.
  • Okay man chill!
  • Take it to someone who cares.
  • Go screw a raccoon.
  • This shit's weapon grade!
  • Watch this stuff, its rocket fuel man!
  • You want sliced?!
  • You think you're something huh?!
  • Oh you wanna do the "nasty dance" huh!
  • I can't believe this shit!!
  • I want my lawyer!

Rednecks

Bone County

  • How come they don't allow donkeys in this bar?
  • Adam and Eve was brother and sister.
  • I'm telling you, horse is the new pork.
  • I'm telling ya man cousins is legal, this is crazy!
  • Move you dumb retard!
  • So the donkey walks into a bar...
  • Hey! I ain't got all day!
  • You stinking piece of shit! MOVE!
  • Next time I punch your face.
  • You inbred or something, you can't see me?
  • What do you mean change my socks?
  • What a rustbucket!
  • What a piece of shit car!
  • I'm gonna get myself a monster truck!
  • HEY! You look out!
  • Hey! This is my pa's car!
  • You damn Yankee!
  • When d'you learn to drive?!
  • Come on, punch me!
  • He's got a gun!!
  • Who the hell do you think you are?!
  • HEY! Get off!
  • Hey get back here! Where do you think you're going?!
  • You've been messing with the wrong guy!
  • I was gonna introduce you to my sister.
  • Heck no. No.
  • Hey I ain't got all day buddy!
  • Pardon me!
  • Hey come on man! Look out!
  • What do you think of this here chrome shotgun?
  • Ma and pa were past cousins.
  • Donkey's afraid of a big fat man.
  • Whoa man, you sure is fat.
  • Oh you rude bastard.
  • NOT MY BIKE!
  • Oh geez! That was my favourite bike!
  • Hey! I just stole this car!
  • You're dead donkin' me buddy!
  • Oh come on asshole!
  • Out of my way!
  • Come on! Gimme your best shot!
  • Come on, I'm gonna break your nose!
  • HELP! I'm being shot at!
  • Beat it tough guy! I ain't afraid of ya!
  • Bastard jacked me!
  • Oh, ma's gonna be so mad!
  • Hey that varmint son'bitch stole my car! Oh how am I going to get home?
  • Oh pa's gonna whup me for this one!
  • This here car's mine! So out you go boy!
  • Watch your step on the way out! Hee hee!
  • Hey I was just bein' friendly!
  • You got something against donkeys?
  • Hey leave me alone!
  • Well hello there miss!
  • Hello donkey lips!
  • Have you ever lived in a trailer park?
  • Sprunk an' scotch is my favourite drink.
  • Cover your eyes donkey!
  • This store is fancy!
  • Oh I want me some of these!
  • Oh, I think I'm gonna puke...
  • Are you insane?!
  • Step on it buddy, I'm in a mood.
  • That was fast. Here's some change.
  • My cousins are gonna get you for this!
  • See ya later donkey hater!
  • I'm the victim in this here situation!
  • Now get the hell out!
  • I was tryin' to be nice!
  • Hey we was just talkin'!
  • These bar stools sure are squishy.
  • Hey let's get a move on!
  • I'm gonna get angry!
  • Pardon me.
  • Hey mister!
  • See ya later pretty lady!
  • Have you ever raised donkeys.
  • Dude, Burger Shot is disgusting.
  • Lordy Lordy!
  • I wonder if they got this in yellow?
  • Would you ring me for this?
  • Hey there!
  • Hey that was cool!
  • Sonny Jim, I'm in a rush!
  • Good job, here's the change.
  • Please mister, let me go!
  • I'll never see my donkey again!
  • You city folk are so rude.
  • Yeah it's the Devil, oh it's disgusting, I can't bear it.
  • I got no time for you man.
  • See you later.
  • Have you ever tried licking a Rusty Brown?
  • Incest is a beautiful thing!
  • I just love the countryside.
  • I think you just killed that person!
  • Howdy!
  • I just can't bear the city.
  • You seen my life! You've seen my donkey too?
  • There is no way I'm payin' for that!
  • Hey it's about time!
  • Somebody help me! Hey, this guy's touchin' me!
  • I'll let you touch me if you let me go!

Countryside

  • Wow son, you're a big boy.
  • Careful piggy!
  • Grandpa got caught in the pig pen, I love a squealer.
  • Why are you driving like that?
  • Ya hit my car! What did you do that for?!
  • Oh yeah! You're real funny kid!
  • Go screw your own pigs! You ain't having her!
  • Get away from my home!
  • Howdy, partner!
  • Hello she-male!
  • Have you ever shot a dog?
  • Inbreeding ain't so bad.
  • Did piggy make it?
  • This guy's insane! This must be judgement day!
  • Dude, can I get out of here?
  • Move it, numbnuts!
  • Move!
  • Move your ass!
  • Come on move!
  • Open your eyes, boy!
  • Mama and papa are close cousins.
  • Those little curly tails freak me out.
  • Some peope say swine is fat.
  • I love that car, is that real?
  • Don't shoot! I don't wanna die!
  • Keep yer dirty hands off me!
  • ARGH, off! Get off me!
  • You can't just carjack me!
  • You ain't robbin' me piggy!
  • Oh yeah?!
  • Have you liked pink pigs?
  • Have you shot a dog?
  • I have a fat hog.
  • What's money? Is that a gun? It's useless.
  • Woah, hey!
  • Watch it!
  • You're mine, piggy!
  • I cannot wait a minute!
  • My mama showed me how to fight!
  • I'm gonna make you real sorry!
  • You're gonna regret the day you came here!

Girlfriends

Katie Zhan

  • Hey Carl! (When starting a date)
  • Hey ya, CJ!
  • Hey CJ!
  • Those Epsilon nutjobs freak me out. (talking to CJ)
  • Necrophilia is too far, even for me.
  • OG Loc? "OG Joke" is more like it.
  • Madd Dogg is my favorite rapper.
  • You should come down to the dojo more often.
  • I love to work in the ER, it gives me a thrill.
  • I've been a nurse for three years now!
  • Oh yeah, wow! (When CJ crashes his car)
  • Shit that was good!
  • Man, this gets me so hot!
  • CJ, you're insane, I love you!
  • You're the worst driver ever, I love it!
  • You're mad, CJ, I love it!
  • That's it, CJ, push it, faster!
  • Come on CJ, push it!
  • Faster, you little wimp! Faster!
  • I'm so hot right now!
  • Oh baby, the car could blow up at the moment! (when car is on fire)
  • I love it, we're on fire!
  • Oh Carl, I hurt, but I love it!
  • So close to death yet so alive...
  • Use your eyes!
  • How rude! 
  • Hey!
  • Watch yourself! (bumped into)
  • Wake up!
  • Hey, look where you're going!

Denise Robinson

  • Wassup, Romeo? (when starting a date)
  • Hey there. (when starting a date)
  • I'm hungry, let's eat!
  • Good call on the meal!
  • Loved that food, Romeo.
  • Take me away from all of it.
  • Take me back to my crib.
  • I had three kids but i gave them away.
  • I wanna open a beauty shop one day.
  • Carl, i ain't just a cheap fling.
  • I ain't just some hood rat, CJ.
  • I've always been into gangbanging.
  • Cool around here!
  • Ain't it great around here, CJ?
  • Relax, you busta. (when crashing the car)
  • CJ, my nails! (when crashing the car)
  • I don't wanna die yet! (when crashing the car)
  • We should blast on some fools since we're here.
  • Let's go dump on some bustas, come on!
  • Can you take me home, baby?

Michelle Cannes

  • Cars are the only thing i care about, man.
  • My first car was a Perennial.
  • Started racing bikes when i was twelve.
  • CJ, you're a dream date.
  • I'm free falling for you!
  • Look at this place, it's a hole!
  • CJ, you're a maniac!
  • CJ, you're crazy!

Barbara Schternvart

  • Hello again, Mr. Johnson. (when starting a date)
  • Crime figures have shot up all over the state.
  • You don't get much drug-related crime out here in the desert.
  • This whole desert's crawling with CIA.
  • I could shoot you and no one would say a thing.
  • I got two kids and my job to hold down.
  • My husband called me a control freak.
  • Not that many men would go out with a female cop.
  • We had a plane crash over by The Big Ear.
  • See what happens when you push it? (when crashing the car)
  • You're breaking the law, slow down! (when driving too fast)
  • There, you see, you can behave well.

Helena Wankstein

  • Isn't it really spiritual around here?
  • I went to a private school, we're in a slum.
  • Is this where you take a nice girl?
  • In my own awful way, i love you.
  • Come on, a little quicker would be nice. (when driving too slow)
  • What are we waiting for? (when driving too slow)
  • Are you on drugs? (when driving too slow)
  • Take me home, baby.
  • I'm a very unhappy person.
  • Slow down! (when driving too fast)
  • I don't wanna die in a traffic accident! (when driving too fast)
  • I'm a lawyer, slow down! (when driving too fast)
  • Stop doing that or i'll shoot you in the head. (when crashing the car)
  • If i'm honest, Carl, i'm using you.
  • I've made so much money out of divorce.
  • Calm down, you asshole. (when crashing the car)

Other

Biker

  • You think I'm bad at knitting?!
  • Careful asshole!
  • Here I come! Ready or not!
  • Is that coff designer ink?
  • City tattoo artists are gettin' good!
  • I'm coming after you jerkoff!
  • Nobody touches my bike!
  • Oil cans make good flower pots.
  • What're you doing out here?
  • Eat my leather!
  • Hope you like the taste of black leather!
  • Violence isn't the answer man.
  • YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT!!!
  • I'm gonna find you!
  • That was a price for my old lady!
  • Forget it, no way man.
  • Hello, little lady.
  • Howdy partner!
  • Adiós, amigo!
  • You like the tits on those Venturas waitresses?
  • Burger Shot was made from roadkill.

Los Santos taxi driver

  • Why did I take this route?!
  • Green means "go"!
  • You're on with this car crash bullshit!
  • I got a nephew with LSPD.
  • Gun rhymes with run! You see? That's why I don't stop you little thugs!
  • I'm so sick of these Los Santos gang wars and it's so easy they turned it so bad.
  • These honks be honking in praise, you know?
  • Watch the road!
  • I just bought this taxi!!
  • I just collected a lot of sprunk cans for this car!
  • I'm pressing charges!
  • I'm gonna put my shoe up your poop shoot!
  • No liquor thanks, I'm on duty.
  • Sprunk on the rocks.
  • Gotta go! Gotta go! I don't feel too bulletproof! And then they go bangin' again!
  • Oh no! This is where I get off! Boy, this is not the wild west!
  • I feel shame for your mother!
  • HELP!! LSPD!! You demon bastard! My cab!
  • You revived me? Those gangbangers do this?! What the hell is going on here?
  • Get ready for an ass whoopin'!
  • You think this is a parade!
  • You blew your chance for friendship.
  • Bangers and jackers! The future of Los Santos!
  • I don't bang son, relax.
  • Mouth to mouth? Hey, don't look at me.
  • You got a glass jaw, baby gangsta!
  • Papa don't take no jive!
  • Come here, I wanna tell ya somethin'!
  • Gettin' served by an old man!
  • Turn the other cheek, boy!
  • The bones are brittle but the jab is stiff!
  • Knockin' you out and crackin' a Sprunk!

Specific pedestrian (not appearing normally)

This pedestrian appears in an Flat-top haircut with goatee, wearing a light blue hoodie, a pair of ivory pants and black low-tops. They won't appear on streets in normal occasions. He may also comment on Carl himself, but some strategies must be used to do so.

  • Come on, man, move!
  • Move, homie!
  • Ahh, this fool!...
  • Raise up dude!
  • Damn you ruin my ride!
  • Make it a step!
  • Ah, man...
  • C'mon, dammit!
  • Hey, chill out, homie! (when bumped into)
  • Easy, partner, watch out! (when bumped into)
  • Watch out fool! (when bumped into)

Trivia

  • Some central or main characters have quotes when Carl bumps into them or attacks them to make them retaliate, but they are not displayed on-screen. If they are in a flipped or incinerating vehicle, or the vehicle CJ is driving gets crashed or is controlled with a high speed, especially during a certain mission, they will shout out something. These characters at least include Sweet, Ryder, Big Smoke, Cesar Vialpando, The Truth, OG Loc, T-Bone Mendez, and some mission targets.
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