Derek the Dodo
Derek the Dodo is a fictional dodo used by Ammu-Nation for advertising in the early 1980s in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories. Derek is used to entice children into using guns at Saturday Safety Fun and to shift blame to 'anti-gun zealots'. A likely reason for using the dodo as a mascot is that the bird is extinct, which pokes fun at firearms and hunting.
The gun safety ads featuring Derek can be heard on the radio station V-Rock.
Derek was voiced by "Club Soda Kenny".
Ads
The following are transcribed from radio ads from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories.
Ad 1
Male announcer: Hey, kids. Why spend Satuday watching boring cartoons about fighting aliens when you can help fight real, illegal aliens? Head to some real-life Saturday safety fun, at Ammu-Nation with Derek the Dodo!
Kids: Yay!
Derek: Hi, kids. I'm Derek the Dodo. Today, I'm gonna teach you all about gun safety. Doesn't that sound fun?
Kids: Yay!
Derek: Guns can be very dangerous, especially the little people who don't like hole shottin' 'em, or the birds on deserted islands, who thought the nice sailors only wanted to be friends. But that's another story.
Female announcer: Derek will teach the kids what to do when if they find a gun around the house!
Derek: What do we do first?
Kids: We pick it up!
Derek: Second?
Kids: Check it's loaded!
Derek: Right, 'cause we don't want any nasty accidents. So, look down the barrel, and...
Kids: Pull the trigger!
(A gunshot is heard, followed by the kids' disgusted reactions)
Derek: Yep, it's loaded, Henry, and you made a mess! Next, carefully file off the serial number, and conceal it quickly about your person.
Kids: Yeah!
Male announcer: Ammu-Nation and Derek the Dodo have been proudly bringing gun safety to your community for over 30 years! Ammu-Nation, protecting your kids' rights!
Kids: AMMU-NATION!
Ad 2
Male announcer: Hey, kids. Saturday mornings, skip the cartoons and head to some real-life Saturday safety fun, at Ammu-Nation with Derek the Dodo!
Derek: Hey, kids!
Kids: Yeah!
Derek: You see, kids, guns aren't the problem. You know what the problem is: anti-gun zealots.
Kid: Yeah, lefty scum!
Derek: Real men don't own a gun, they own five or more. Make sure your daddy's a real man.
Girl: Hi, Derek, I love you!
Derek: Aww, that's sweet. I love you too. What's your question?
Girl: Um, when I find a gun at home, did you say to look down the barrel and pull the trigger?
Derek: Sure, honey. Give it a go!
Girl: Like this?
(A gunshot is heard, followed by the kids' disgusted reactions)
Derek: You see? Girls are stupid. To heck if a gun is loaded, you should always point it away from you, at an immigrant, or a banker!
Kids: Yay!
Male announcer: Ammu-Nation and Derek the Dodo have been proudly bringing gun safety to your community for over 30 years! Ammu-Nation, protecting your kids' rights!
Kids: AMMU-NATION!
Trivia
- In Grand Theft Auto IV, on WKTT's The Richard Bastion Show, the host mentions that people should look up to and can learn a lot from mascots such as Derek the Dodo. This proves that Derek the Dodo is still Ammu-Nation's mascot in 2008.
- Derek the Dodo is a parody of Eddie Eagle, an NRA mascot that teaches kids about gun safety.
