- "When you've followed the trail to that thieving SPANK-head, waste him!"
- ―El Burro.
Claude goes to the payphone in Hepburn Heights, which is ringing. El Burro instructs Claude to follow a SPANKED-up thief who has stolen the latest copy of Donkey Does Dallas and collect the copies as they fly out of the back of a van. After collecting all the magazines, Claude kills the thief and then returns the magazines to XXXMags in the Red Light District.
In order to complete the mission the player must:
- Get in the van
- Collect the copies of the magazine and follow the trail to the thief
- Whack the thief
- Take the van to the back of XXX Mags
The reward for completion of the mission is $20,000 and the unlocking of the Turismo race, El Burro's first mission. If you collect all the magazines you will get $10,000 bonus. The Portland safehouse will also be seen with stacks of pornographic magazines thereafter.
- The mission name may be a reference to an erect penis.
- El Burro mentioned that Donkey Does Dallas Vol 1, 2, 3 are flying off the back of the van. Instead, It was the Mutt of the Mule magazines.
- It is possible to save a few seconds, a video of this can be seen here.
- Somewhere along the Head Radio Building, while collecting magazines, a police radio will report "donkey porn being dropped along the Portland area."
- This mission is hard if the player has never driven a Rumpo. The player must slow a little but also go fast because there are seconds to fail this mission. The biggest tip however, is to never handbrake turn in a Rumpo. This is because the Rumpo is extremely tail heavy and tends to fish tail violently in a handbrake turn, especially at higher speeds. Slow down normally if there ever is a need to turn.
- The mobile version made this mission easier, starting the player with 45 seconds at the start instead of 25.
- At the end of the mission, some rare pedestrians will appear near XXXMags, these pedestrians never appear on the streets. This can be seen here.
- They were replaced by pimps on the mobile version.