A new planet found in space. Is it really a planet or a decoy put up to confuse us? Ghosts, time travel and the flushing toilet. Which way did Newton's toilet spiral? And finally, are women made from sand? We explore deeper and get to the truth. I'm Marvin Trill, this is Area 53.
Yeah, hi. I'm a truck driver and listen to your show all the time. I see a lot of unexplained phenomena out there, especially in rest rooms. I agree with you about the moon. We never landed on the moon. It's such a good fake.
Hey man, love the show, but when are you guys gonna start seeing the bigger picture? We're being lied to man and guys like you don't help much, you know, you're virtually one of them. Soon you'll know what I'm talking about.
If people could please just attempt to make sense, that's all I'm asking. Last night, as I was laying in my pod meditating, and it occurred to me, why are you even listening to me?! Turn off all electrical devices including your radio.
Did the government recruit school children to beat you up in school? Are goldfish really communist spies? I'm Marvin Trill, this is Area 53. I'm broadcasting live from my mobile home in the desert, I'm telling you, it's hot like alien balls in here.
Hi, my name is Adam First. I've been doing some much needed surveillance in the desert while hang gliding. I've noticed a peculiar trailer compound where a man is running around in his spacesuit conducting weird rituals with Domestobots.
Yeah, come on man. Tell the people about the desert. How come there's something missing, huh? A map with things missing ain't a real map and that's what they feed us, well, that, and female hormones in our water supply.
Alright, let's get to the real meat and potatoes. News men lying to our face about weather balloons. Historians ignoring my proof that WW2 didn't happen. The FDA infiltrated by the very device they're supposed to regulate; the plug. Mind control devices. But we'll have to leave that for now, you're leaving Area 53, you've been abducted. Until next time, stay alert, they're after you.
Is your child really an alien? Has the future already happened somewhere else? And finally, is cheese the latest weapon in the battle against communism? We explore deeper, much deeper. I'm Marvin Trill, this is Area 53, prepare to be appalled.
Listen again Marvin am I lisping here? Mas-ti-cat-ting. Vigorously. To really cleanse, you're gonna have to do some yoga. The cleansing properties of doing yoga with a garden hose up your ass cannot be exaggerated. Marvin, it's time for your down dog to really have a tail.
I think everyone out there will agree that the Russians are in charge now. Foreigners are behind that EXsorbeo handheld gaming device to decrease our productivity and make our thumbs useless so our kids can't fire machine guns.
I've been inside, inside everything, seen everything. Remember the first time you did mushrooms? There are aliens living in the state. Aliens. And I've held them in my own hands. Everybody, go to the desert, beg their forgiveness.
All the missiles are under my control, not the government's control. Why do you think they put me in solitary confinement for 8 months, because I can launch nuclear missiles by just whistling into a phone!
Ah look, this isn't a cartoon or TV show, let's get real for a second. The problem with people like you who have super powers is that you really don't use them for good! If I had super powers everyone would be naked and women signing autographs at conventions couldn't resist me.
That'll be really cool, I thought you were a DJ. You should talk more about killing people with helicopters. I prefer electric cable, tightly wound around people's throats, watching them go blue in the face.
Inside, I feel like it's time to close the pod bay door and take a rest. Until next time, reset your memory chip and don't believe what they tell you. This is Marvin Trill, you're leaving Area 53, Kifflom! Be careful.
One of the callers is named Kevin, a reference to the hacker Kevin Mitnick. He states he can launch nuclear missiles by just whistling into a phone. Mitnick also voices the character, though he is uncredited.