Dialogues in GTA V



This page lists all protagonist, pedestrian, and law enforcement dialogue in Grand Theft Auto V.

Protagonists

 * Note* These are dialogues used outside of missions.

When greeting a pedestrian

 * Hello, sweetheart!
 * Buddy! What's up?
 * What's going on?
 * What's up, amigo?
 * Peace, brother.
 * Hey, what's up?
 * Yeah, how are you? (If they reply kindly)
 * Hello, and how are ya?
 * Hey, pal.

While greeting Jimmy after they have been reunited

 * Jimbo!
 * James.
 * I love you, son.
 * Hey, Jimmy.
 * Hey, son.

While greeting Amanda after they have been reunited

 * Hello, my darling wife!
 * Do you forgive me, Amanda? For all I've done?
 * Are we going to be OK, Amanda?
 * How you doing?

While greeting Tracey

 * Tracey!
 * What's going on, Trace?
 * I love you, Trace!

While greeting Eva

 * Hey, Eva. Keep doing what you're doing!
 * Hey, Eva. Keep working hard. I love it!
 * Hey, Eva.

While greeting Carlos

 * Carlos! My man!
 * Hey, Carlos!
 * Keep working hard, Carlos!

When greeting a police officer

 * Hi, officer.
 * Hey, officer.
 * Well... hello, officer.
 * Hello, sir... I mean madam... I mean... whatever. (If the officer is female)

After a pedestrian tells a story

 * Well, that's America for ya.
 * You must really worry your family.
 * No, no, really, that's fascinating.

While taking a girl home

 * Well, aren't you a nice girl?
 * You seem like a nice girl!

While threatening, fighting or insulting a pedestrian

 * You're fucking dead!
 * Hit me, then!
 * Let's roll, fuckhead!
 * It's on!
 * Remember, I'm a bad person!
 * Come on, then!
 * Run away from me!
 * You know what? You should see a doctor for that shit.
 * You're really making my skin crawl!
 * YOU MAKE MY SKIN CRAWL!
 * You know what? You are one nasty fuck!
 * You know something, YOU'RE FUCKIN' PATHETIC!
 * You should get some help with that personality of yours!
 * Why do you exist?!
 * Hey, you! Really?!
 * Why don't you go fuck off?!
 * Yeah, you! Fuck off! Now!
 * You define everything that's wrong with this place!
 * When I say you suck, I mean you really suck.
 * Hey, you! Really?!
 * What exactly is wrong with you?
 * THERE IS NO FUCKING POINT TO YOU!
 * Why are you still breathing?!
 * How the fuck are you alive?!
 * This outta be interesting!
 * Go fuck yourself!
 * I just hope you have proper hatred for yourself!
 * Fuck you!
 * Oh... Fuck off!
 * Hit me then!

While stealing a car

 * Keep cool-io, baby! It's just a car!
 * Ah, it's insured! Don't be a dick!
 * Vamos the car, amigo!
 * I need to borrow your car, lady!
 * I'm gonna be using your car!
 * Out! Get out!
 * Get the fuck out of here!
 * Sorry... but I need this!
 * Alright, don't try to be a fuckin' hero. Get out, now!
 * Don't act like a tough guy!
 * Alright, let's go!
 * Forgive me, sweetheart!
 * Come on, lady! Don't fight it!
 * Alright, come on, come on, out!
 * Let's go! now!
 * Move! Move! Let's move!
 * Sorry, lady! Nothing personal.
 * Excuse me!
 * Get out of there, bitch!
 * Oh, stay cool, pal!

While stealing a motorcycle

 * Gimme that fucking bike!
 * I need that bike!
 * Get off that thing!
 * Say, can I borrow your bike for a minute? Or six?

Stealing a vehicle with a dead person inside

 * I hate to do this...
 * I hope you didn't shit yourself.
 * The dead don't drive.
 * Sorry, pal.
 * Very sorry!
 * Excuse me!

When shooting a person

 * Yeah? Yeah?!
 * Come on, kill me! I need something to talk to my shrink about!
 * SO KILL ME!
 * I guess I'm not having a very good day!
 * I guess this is how the fuck it is!
 * I know, I know, it ain't fuckin' cool!
 * Yeah, I'm an old fatass fucker with a gun!
 * Hey! You want me? Kill me!
 * Fuck all you fucking fucks!
 * Uh huh?! What?! YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?!
 * Yeah... I guess that settles that, MOTHERFUCKER!
 * Ain't this nice?
 * Yeah? Fucking yeah?!

If another protagonist spooks him

 * You are out of control!

After getting a coffee

 * Ohh, I need an upper.
 * Ohh, everything hurts.

After a car crash

 * You... fool!
 * Hey, you selfish prick!
 * You know how much this car costs?!
 * You entitled piece of shit!
 * I've seen some bad drivers, but you... whoa-ho-ho!
 * I like this car!
 * This, was a nice car!
 * I ain't got time to swap details, asshole! (If wanted)
 * Look the fuck out, will ya?!

If Angered

 * What is this bullshit?!
 * Aw, the fuck?!
 * Ahh, crap!
 * Ahh, shit!

After having lunch with Solomon

 * See you later, Solly!

After killing a person

 * Well, that's that!
 * Next time you'll listen. Well, you know what I mean!
 * Now maybe you'll shut up and listen!
 * Oh, sorry about that!
 * Sorry!
 * And now you're history!

Getting up after falling

 * Arrgh, Jesus!
 * Ow, man, that... Wow!


 * What is this bullshit?!
 * Aw, man... Ouch!

If Franklin follows him

 * Are you following me, kid?
 * What is this a joke, kid?
 * Hey. Back off, kid.
 * Will you fuck off?
 * Seriously, stop the stalking.
 * Hey, I'm serious. Get lost.

If Trevor follows him

 * T, give me a break.
 * Come on T, knock it off.
 * Will you fuck off, T?

Before knocking out the player character after following at a long duration

 * Okay, your choice funny guy.
 * Alright, alright. You win.
 * Alright then, come on!

If the player points a firearm at Michael

 * Ohhhh, I got one too!
 * Holster it!
 * Put it away!
 * Pull it on!

General Insulting to everyone

 * You're a waste of space on this earth!
 * You look like you struggle with simple tasks.
 * You make me want a lobotomy.
 * You make me wanna immigrate.
 * You're a total moron.
 * You dumbass!
 * Oh, please, go and hurt yourself!
 * You are utterly ridiculous!
 * You are an annoying shit!
 * You are an asshole!
 * Brainless fool!
 * Fuck you, charming, fuck you!
 * I've trodden shit with more brains.
 * Go and fuck yourself.
 * Listen, nobody likes you.
 * Listen, even your parents can't stand you.
 * HOW are you allowed to walk the streets, moron?
 * Did you lose a very big bet?
 * Why hasn't someone sensible shot you yet?
 * Why, oh, why do you exist?
 * You puddle of vomit!
 * YOU PILE OF SICK!
 * TWAT!
 * Why, oh, why weren't you drowned at birth?
 * Why, oh, why do you exist?
 * Oh, you give me highs!
 * You are an annoying shit!
 * Fool!
 * Idiot!

If Threatened

 * OK, sugar, hit me.
 * Come on! Punish me!
 * Come on, make me cry! Make me cry!
 * Come on, make me suffer!
 * Let's see what ya got!
 * You're dead!
 * Let's go, cupcake!
 * Fucking asshole!

Assaulting a pedestrian

 * Get up!
 * Did that hurt a little?!
 * Oh, sorry I hurt you!
 * You should have run away!

Hailing down a cab

 * TAXI!
 * Taximan!
 * Stop your fucking car!

Insulting Cops

 * You, my friend have found your level in life. ...You've joined a society of morons called the police force!
 * Nice name badge! ...But they misspelt 'dick'.
 * Let's be clear. Only an idiot joins the cops! ...See ? You don't even understand simple sentences!
 * You look so..... tough, officer! ...I know you were bullied in school.
 * Aren't you just a great example to us all? ...Living proof that the shit could talk!
 * Hey......Aren't you cool? ...I was being sarcastic. You look like a twat.
 * Does parking orders get you excited? ...Or do you prefer beating up suspects?
 * I bet you love giving orders? ...And arresting jaywalkers and tourists.
 * What exactly are you looking at? ...Because I'm looking at a turd.
 * Nice uniform! ...But you should be working in Burger Shot!
 * The police force. ...Now that's a bad joke ! ...Police "farts" would be a better name.
 * You look ridiculous in that uniform. But you're probably used to looking ridiculous.
 * How did you get in the police force? ...You look like you belong in a mental hall.

Insulting the Overweight or Obese

 * What's your problem, fatso? ...I SAID... "What's your problem, fatso?!" ...Oh, come on! Where's your sense of humor? DID YA EAT IT?!
 * Come on, sell yourself out! ...FOR FUCK'S SAKE, make some changes!...It's not me, you are running away FROM YOURSELF!!!
 * Ever tried to exercise, pork chop?... And I don't mean just your arm. (If the NPC starts to run) OH, there you go !!! SEE? NOT SO BAD!!!!!!
 * You are... LARGE, my friend. ...I mean, LARGE. LIKE A BIG THING!
 * Hey, Pork Chop! How's it going? ...I SAID... "How's it going?!" PORK CHOP!
 * So, uh... Do chubby chasers seek you out? ...I mean, I can see it being fun having a BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCY!
 * You are a hump lover, aren't you?
 * Wow... you are BIG! ...I mean, you're the size of a house!
 * Have you tried exercising pork chop? ...And I don't mean just your arms.
 * Food is drug, man. You are addicted. ...For some is junk but for you is CHEEEEEEEESE CAKE!

Insulting Hipsters

 * You're about as alternative... as a dog turd!
 * I bet you have a vagina! (Insulting male hipster)
 * (Singing)Hipster, hipster, hiiiiiipsters!!!!!!

Insulting the homeless

 * You stink. ...I mean, you really stink. It's revolting. ...Its not an insult, you really really stink!
 * You are so.....miserable. ...I mean, come on, SMILE!!!!!... I am just being friendly!
 * Oh please, just take a bath, will you? ...And stop acting all huh~HHH~HHHH!!!!!!
 * I feel bad for you.
 * Hey, we all love drinks and drugs, pal. ...But I pay for mine. ...Oh yeah, run away you leech!
 * Get some help my friend.
 * You depressed me friend. ...So......DEPRESSING!!!!!!!!!!!! ...You even run in a depressing way!
 * Oh great, a stinky crazy person. ...How very original.
 * You're a big punk lover, aren't you?...
 * You are not crazy......You are lazy. ...There's a difference, you're a faker.
 * You have to do some changing.....(If the NPC starts to running away) Okay, first step : JOGGINNNNNNG!!!
 * You are just running away from your problems!
 * Poor people are all the same..... ...Complain...... complain......COMPLAIN!!!!!!
 * You are lost, my friend. ...Awful, with the aliens!
 * Stop pretending to be crazy...... I mean, it's not fooling anyone! You are just a liar fooling everyone!!!!!!
 * What's it like on your planet? ...I mean, it don't look like a lot of fun ! ...You'll be happier after back on earth!

Insulting gang members

 * Is it true you share girls around? ...Because I find that kind of creepy.
 * I've met tougher boy scouts. ...In fact I've met tougher girl guides.
 * Hey hardman..... FUCK YOU!!!!!! ...Yeah, I said, FUCK YOU!!!!!!
 * Hey tough guy! Yeah, YOU! ...You and your friends want to fight?
 * Are you boys for real? ...Or are you off to a fancy dress party?
 * I have confuse thoughts about other men! ...So I stick in a gang with guys, just like me!
 * Is the circle jerking stuff as much fun as it sounds? ...And can I join in pal, pretty please?
 * Hi, I'm a real individual. ...So I joined a gang.
 * For my mind aren't we all very tough?...Oh...So scare here.....Hang your tail!
 * Hey buddy, come out of the closet! ...Its not a good look anymore!
 * You look like an ugly woman. ...Having a really bad menstrual cycle.
 * You look real tough? WOOOOOO!!!! So friend, please don't scout at me!
 * Hey, come out from the closet, buddy!
 * I am a gay, so I join a gang!
 * You only act tough in your little gang!
 * I am in a gang. Uh! I am really tough! ...So well, it's OK when I jerk off my buddies!
 * You and your friends seem really sad! ...Like you watch too many silly movies!
 * Hey buddy, come out of the closet! ...Not a good look anymore!

Greeting/insulting Amanda

 * How have you beeeeeeeeeen, Amanda?
 * I missed you all days, good time : watching you shaking.

Greeting/insulting Tracey

 * My GOD! You used to be a nice girl!
 * You're an embarrassment even to your loser of a father!
 * Get a job, you lazy twat!

Greeting/insulting Jimmy

 * Oh, Jimmy! You are every thing that's wrong with the future!
 * Oh, you really are a sad bastard!

After bumping into an NPC or running over one

 * Would you open your fucking eyes?!
 * Oh, by the way, that was entirely your fault!
 * Look the fuck out!
 * Would you... MOVE?!
 * Oh, I got to get my eyes checked!
 * Stop annoying me!
 * FUCKING MOVE!

Getting a Wanted Level

 * Great, police.
 * Wonderful, and my tax dollars hard at work!
 * Shit! Cops.

While activating his special ability

 * It's T-revor time!
 * LETS PARTY, GENTELMEN!
 * Hellooooooo!? Who want's some now!?
 * My name's Trevor! What's your name!?
 * Oh God give me the strength!
 * Somebody please!
 * Is there anybody here to goddamn kill!?
 * WHERE ARE YOU ASSHOLES HIDING?!
 * WHERE ARE YOU PRICKS?!
 * COME HERE! SOMEBODY COME, HERE!
 * OHH, LORD HELP ME!!!
 * AWHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

During a shootout

 * Havin' fun cunts?
 * YEAH?!
 * Trevor-motherfucking-Philips! That's me!
 * Trevor Philips. REMEMBER THAT.
 * I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCK WITH ME!

If all armed enemies are killed

 * Is that it? Is that the lot of you?! Fuckin' pathetic!
 * You lot really were pathetic!

After killing someone

 * GOODBYE!!!!!! From me
 * Bye bye.
 * Trevor. Phillips. Remember that.
 * That'll teach ya...something or other.
 * I told you not to fuck with me!
 * You deserved that you idiot!
 * Sorry, pal!
 * Feel better now ?
 * Stay down!
 * You don't look cool, kid.
 * Now you are as dumb as you look!

Hijacking a car with a dead person inside

 * I'll see this put to use!
 * Excuse me!
 * Well, YOU DON'T NEED IT!

If Angered

 * Shit, shit, SHIT!
 * Well, I'll be fucked!
 * Crap!
 * For fuck's sake!
 * Good Lord above!
 * Lord give me strength!

If a vehicle engine won't start

 * Come on.... start, you piece a shit!
 * Start, you turd!

Running over an animal

 * 10 points!
 * Squish!
 * Top of the food chain!
 * You'll never win that one, little guy.
 * Guess it's coyote for dinner.
 * Mmm, smells like coyote guts.
 * That was a coyote, that was definitely a coyote.

Falling down or getting run over

 * Ow, ow, OW!
 * Bullshit!
 * Oh... give me a break.
 * Whew, baby, that hurt so good!

If the player points a firearm at Trevor

 * You getting off on this little man?
 * This a power thing, buddy?
 * Come on then, do it!
 * Come on, pull the trigger!

Harassing another Faggio rider (Special Switch Scene)

 * We are scooter brothers......SCOOTER BROTHERSSSS!!!!!!!!
 * Come on, scooter brother! Let's go, scooter brother!
 * We are brothers on scooters!
 * Scooter brother!
 * Where are we going today, scooter brother?
 * We will go on a journey, a journey of scooters!
 * Oh, slow down, scooter brother!
 * (If "scooter brother" dies within Trevor's sight) My brother, my scooter brother!

Greeting a pedestrian

 * Eh, babe!
 * Eh, dude!
 * Eh, what up my nig?
 * What it do?
 * Yeah, how are you?

Greeting a homeless person

 * Eh, dawg, it's gonna get better. Trust me.
 * Eh, you keep on going dawg, you hear me?

Insulting someone

 * Man, you need help! A lot of help!
 * Motherfucker!
 * Lame ass bitch!
 * Punk!
 * Bitch!
 * Man, you suck!
 * And people say I'm a disgrace to society?
 * Man, you pathetic, fool.
 * Would you fuck off?!
 * Go on, fuck off!
 * Man, you a genetic experiment gone wrong, dawg!
 * Man, you ain't nothing but a punk!
 * Eh, you lame, dog!

Insulting gangsters

 * Damn, you popo shit!

Assaulting someone

 * Yeah... still think you hard?
 * OH, YOU WANT TO GET UP?!
 * Oh, you still got scraps, huh?!

If threatened

 * Eh, let's go fool!
 * Eh, fight fool!
 * So you hard, huh?!
 * So you real mean, huh?!

While shooting

 * You want me, huh?!
 * I knew you was punks!
 * You punk-ass bitches is done, now!
 * Fuck all you punks!
 * Fuck you!
 * Oh, you trying to roll on me, fool?!
 * Bitch-ass punk!
 * Eh, fuck you, fool!
 * Let's see what you got!
 * I don't give a fuck, asshole!
 * Let's do this, motherfucker!
 * It's on now, motherfucker!

After killing someone

 * Goodnight, old friend...
 * See you!
 * Well, that's that then!
 * I guess that settles that.
 * YOU STILL HARD, huh?

In a car crash

 * Eh, my whip!
 * My car, you damn moron!
 * Eh, you an asshole driver,
 * Eh, I'm driving here!
 * Eh, you just turned this into a bucket!
 * Slick wheel work!

If a Vehicle engine won't start

 * Start, you piece of shit!
 * Start, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
 * Would you come on?! Damn!

Merryweather

 * You are mine!
 * You're going down!
 * Visual contact lost!
 * Go to hell!
 * Eat shit, bastard!
 * Put the weapon down!
 * Say goodnight!
 * Drop the weapon!
 * You're gonna die, bitch! (can also be heard from Trevor)
 * You fucking pussy!
 * Bend over, here I come!
 * Nobody's going to find your body!
 * Death embraces you!

After hanging around the entrance

 * Sir, leave the area now! This is for authorised personnel only.
 * I'm not going to say this again. Leave now.

In combat

 * I'm a fucking Marine!
 * Inbred moron!
 * Die, fucker! Ahhh!
 * Fuckin' hell! ARRRGGHH!
 * EHHH - AARRRGGGHHH!
 * Don't fuck with me!
 * You wanna play with me?
 * You've fucked with the wrong soldier!
 * Mangolez is shot! Mangolez has been fuckin' shot!
 * Semper Fi, motherfucker!
 * Dick!
 * You motherfucking cocksucker!
 * You piece of shit!
 * You scumbag!
 * Cocksucker!
 * You dick!
 * I'm gonna kill you!
 * Hit the dirt!
 * Suck my leg!
 * DIEEEEEEE!!!!!!
 * Fuck you!
 * You cocksucker!
 * Surrender!
 * I'm not afraid to use this!
 * Fucking bum!
 * You're done!
 * You fucking moron!
 * Motherfuckeeeer!!!!!!

If an explosion is imminent

 * Hit the deck!

After being kicked or punched

 * U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!

Air Traffic Controllers

 * You are in a restricted air space! Divert the course or you will be shot down!
 * This is a no fly zone! Divert your course!
 * You are on Fort Zancudo air space, divert immediately.
 * Attention aircraft, this air space is prohibited! Divert course now!
 * You are in the Fort Zancudo no fly zone, divert your course.
 * This is U.S. military airspace. Divert now, or face the consequences.

After seeing the corpse

 * There it is!

While trying to resuscitate the person

 * Don't die on me!
 * Any signs of life?
 * There's still hope!

When failing to save the dead person

 * We were too late!
 * 'City of saints'? More like 'city of death'!
 * We tried our best!
 * This is why I drink.
 * Might as well get the body bag, bro.
 * Why did we even come here?

When angered or insulted

 * I'll get you!
 * Asshole!
 * Piece of shit!
 * Oh, you're going to be sorry!

Pedestrians
Grand Theft Auto V is the first game that allows the player to greet pedestrians by pressing right on the D-Pad on consoles or the 'E' button on the PC version. However, when playing as Trevor, the player cannot greet pedestrians; instead, by pressing this button near one will cause him directly insulting them. Also greeting the same pedestrian three times will also cause other protagonists to insult them, due to their lack of responses. A pedestrian will either run away, call the police, or pick a fight with the player after being threatened. Threatening a law enforcement officer, will obviously give the player a one star. Some pedestrians will form conversations with the player on rare occasions such as telling the player (except Trevor) about their stories; if the protagonist replies to this pedestrian he will either respond politely or sarcastically. If the protagonist is driving a supercar or expensive car, pedestrians will comment positively on it and take pictures as well. Strangely, this does not work with the Infernus, Comet, Bullet, Zentorno or Turismo R. It is to note that Pedestrians can occasionally call the police if they witness a crime as well. In some situation, some pedestrians may ignore the player's insulting despite how many times the player insults them. (For example, when Trevor sobered up at beach, he may see an obese woman. No matter how many times Trevor insults her, she won't respond to Trevor's trash words.)

If the player steals his vehicle

 * I'ma stand my ground!
 * You're just an asshole!
 * I am not putting up with any of this nonsense!

While looking for customers

 * Hey baby! Looking for a date?
 * Hey sugar.
 * You look like you've had a rough night. Want some company?

If rejected

 * Come back when you changed your mind.

During oral sex

 * Oh, I'm gonna swallow all of your cum!
 * I want it, I want it!
 * Mmmm, it tastes so good!
 * Ohh, yeah... That's a big one!
 * Mmm, your cock tastes so good!

If threatened

 * Quatre madre!
 * Fuck off!
 * Fuck me in the ass!
 * We're all going to hell!

If the player is run over

 * Hey, I'm sorry that I messed you up, huh?! G'day!

If threatened

 * I am in no fucking mood... for this!
 * Look, I'm having a bad day, okay?! Sorry!
 * Probably an idiot liberal.
 * Probably flunked out of school.
 * What's wrong with world?!
 * What a fucking asshole!
 * You REALLY want to mess... with me?!

If insulted by Michael

 * Old-ass motherfucker!

If insulted by Trevor

 * Fucking immigrate!

If annoyed

 * Fool, I've been through the struggle!

If the player is wanted

 * I see him!
 * That's him!
 * Drop that weapon!

If threatened

 * Are you questioning my authority?
 * Security, one. Asshole, zero.

If greeted

 * Hey, man.

If stared at

 * What do you want?
 * What the fuck do you want?
 * Fuck off!

Ammu-Nation

 * Ammu-Nation: protecting your second amendment.
 * Aw, look at you two together, what a lovely fucking couple! (when buying a gun or piece of armor)
 * I bet you'll want to use that the second you get out the door. (when buying a gun or piece of armor)
 * Holy shit! I could smell you before I could even see you, dude! (When entering the store as Trevor)
 * Now, you're the apocalypse I worry about, friend! (When entering the store as Trevor)
 * Here's a man I trust with firearms! (when entering the store as any character)
 * That's good for family events! (when buying ammo)
 * Now that is quality right there! (when buying ammo)
 * You need receipt? For taxes? (when buying ammo or firearms)
 * I can't have you in here with a police escort! (when entering with a wanted level)
 * This is your fight, friend! (when entering with a wanted level)
 * I can't have police in here. Scram! (when entering with a wanted level)

24/7/Rob's Liquor/LTD

 * Hello, welcome to my store! (Indian clerks, when entering)
 * Hello, you are my first customer. (Indian clerks, when entering)
 * Shoplifters will be prosecuted! (Indian clerks, while shoplifting)
 * No stealing! Not in my store! (Indian clerks, while shoplifting)
 * Why, hello. (Indian clerks, when entering)
 * I'm watching you! (Chinese clerks, when entering)
 * Ah, welcome. (Chinese clerks, when entering)
 * Ah, good choice! (Chinese clerks, after buying something)
 * Ah, there you go! (Chinese clerks, after buying something)
 * Another happy customer! (after buying something)
 * Okay, okay, I get the drill! (Chinese clerks, during a robbery)
 * Take it easy, I'm doing it! (Chinese clerks, during a robbery)
 * I can't go any faster, please! (Chinese clerks, when intimidated)
 * Okay, okay, I'm putting money in the bag! (Indian clerks, during a robbery)
 * There goes the family vacation! (Indian clerks, after being robbed)
 * I really need to get insurance! (Indian clerks, after being robbed)
 * Now please, just go! (Chinese clerks, after being robbed)
 * I hope you sleep well tonight! (Chinese clerks, after being robbed)
 * I assure you this happens at least once a week! (Chinese clerks, after being robbed)
 * This store is not your personal piggy bank! (When re-entering a previously robbed store in story mode)
 * No! I remember you! You cause trouble! Get out! (When re-entering a previously robbed store in story mode)
 * That gun in my face is not helping (American clerks, while being intimidated)
 * If I see your face in here again... (American clerks, after being robbed)
 * Take it easy! (American clerks, while being intimidated)

Herr Kutz Barber/O'Sheas Barbers Shop/Beach Combover Barber

 * Why hello there! Have a seat!
 * What do you have in mind?
 * These are some of my best ones yet!
 * Now where are my glasses? Oh, haha, it doesn't matter.
 * Come back anytime!
 * Oh God!
 * What the hell?!
 * What the?!
 * Please no!
 * No!!
 * What?! Don't shoot!
 * Oh my God!

Bob Mulét

 * Bye bye, beautiful! (after cutting hair)
 * I love the outfit you have on today. Gorgeous! (when cutting hair)
 * Come in, have a seat.

Tattoo Parlors

 * Asshole! (when causing trouble inside the store)
 * I'm using this money for drugs!
 * Thanks. I need the cash.
 * I do gang stuff too if you need it!
 * That's art, right there.

Suburban

 * Why does someone always come in as soon as I was about to take a break? (when entering the store)
 * There you are, go crazy (when buying an item from the shop)
 * Hope you don't regret it (when buying an item from the shop)
 * Maybe it will suit you one day (when buying an item from the shop)

Ponsonbys

 * Are you going to buy anything? (when staying inside the shop for too long)
 * Either buy something, or leave! (when staying inside the shop for too long)
 * We... don't have a returns policy.
 * We appreciate your business.

Strip Club Bouncer

 * Michael, man! Good to see you! (when greeting Michael)
 * My boy Franklin! Good to see you! (when greeting Franklin)
 * What's up, Mr. C? (when greeting Franklin)
 * Hey boss! (when greeting Trevor after the mission Hang Ten)
 * Mr. Philips! Hope all is well sir! (when greeting Trevor after the mission Hang Ten)
 * No guns allowed! (if the protagonist brandishes a gun)
 * Hey, hey, hey; no firearms. (if the protagonist brandishes a gun)
 * Hey, you enjoy yourself; alright?

Liz Macallen

 * Will Santa let me open one gift early? (when giving the player a blowjob during taking home events)

Juliet

 * I'm going to blow your mind! (while giving the player a blowjob during taking home events)
 * Sure! Swing by the back, and I'll be there! (after accepting to the Protagonist's request to take her home)
 * Hey sexy! (when greeting the player, only during taking home events)
 * Follow me honey! (when at her house)
 * This way sexy! (when at her house)
 * Wanna go private honey? (when suggesting a private dance)
 * Let's go somewhere with a little more privacy, sugar.
 * Hey Frankie, wanna dance with me? (when asking Franklin for a private dance)
 * Frankin, honey! I missed you. Let's go dance. (when asking Franklin for a private dance)
 * Loser! (after the player refuses a private dance)
 * Dipshit! (after the player refuses a private dance)

Infernus

 * You like this fat ass? (during a private dance)
 * I'll give you whatever you want! (when taking her home)
 * I know you want it! (during a private dance)
 * You know you want it! (during a private dance)
 * You're making me so hot! (during a private dance)
 * Let's go to the back room baby. (when suggesting a private dance to the protagonist)
 * Follow Infernus. I will take care of you! (after the protagonist agrees to have a private dance)
 * Am I getting you hard baby? (during a private dance)
 * Oh yeah that's my song! (during a private dance)
 * Just one more dance? You know you want it! (when asking for another private dance)

Cheetah

 * I feel so hot! (during a private dance)
 * You want a special dance, just for you?
 * Right this way baby! (after the protagonist agrees to have a private dance)
 * You like this, don't you baby? (during a private dance)
 * Mmm, I feel all sweaty! (during a private dance)
 * Oh god! This makes me horny as hell! (during a private dance)
 * You man enough for another? (when asking for another private dance)

Chastity

 * You want a private dance or what? (when asking for a private dance)

Nikki

 * You want a private dance? (when asking for a private dance)
 * You wanna go in the back sugar? (when asking for a private dance)
 * Oh yea baby! (during a private dance)
 * Just follow me, sugar. (after the protagonist agrees to have a private dance)
 * You like this sugar? (during a private dance)
 * I think I'd like to hang out with you later! (during a private dance)
 * You feeling it? (during a private dance)
 * That feel good? (during a private dance)
 * Why don't we take this show back to my place? (after a private dance and suggesting the protagonist to take her home)
 * Hi there lover! (after the protagonist picks her up to take her home)
 * You're gonna enjoy this! (while taking her home)
 * Just keep your eyes on this ass and follow me! (when at her house)

Fufu

 * Want a dance in the back? (when suggesting a private dance)
 * You look like you need a dance honey. (when suggesting a private dance)
 * So rude! (after the player refuses a private dance)

Sapphire

 * We should go to the back! What do you say? (when suggesting a private dance)
 * Wanna head to the back? (when suggesting a private dance)
 * Ok, you know where I am. (after the player refuses a private dance)

Police Scanner

 * In errrr [location]
 * In [location]
 * FIB Team dispatched to/from [location]
 * Dispatch air unit from [location]
 * Dispatching SWAT units from [location]
 * Suspect is err [description]
 * Early [early age]
 * Late [late age]
 * Mid [mid age]
 * Young
 * Elderly
 * Air support seek fire on suspect
 * Air support hold your fire
 * Air support move in and immobilize suspect
 * Air support hold fire
 * [district within Los Santos]
 * [district within Blaine County]
 * [name of popular/main streets, eg: Power Street, Portola Drive]
 * Dispatch any unit too [location]
 * Dispatch air unit too [location]
 * A possible [code of crime]
 * A [code of crime]
 * Citizens report a [name/code of crime]
 * A Grand Theft Auto
 * Attack on civillian
 * Attack on Citizen
 * Attack on species
 * Attack on protected species
 * Attack on a NOOSE officer
 * Attack on an officer
 * Shots fired
 * Attack on a vehicle
 * An attack on a vehicle
 * A Bank robbery
 * A motor vehicle accident
 * Suspect has crashed
 * A person [crime]
 * A stolen police vehicle
 * A stolen armored vehicle
 * A stolen plane
 * A stolen helicopter
 * Suspect is in a [color/livery of [vehicle name]]
 * Suspect is in a [color of [type of vehicle]]
 * Suspect last seen in a... [type of vehicle]
 * Suspect doing [speed] miles per hour in... [location]
 * A possible stolen vehicle
 * A structure on fire
 * A vehicle on fire
 * A citizen injured
 * A citizen on fire
 * A citizen killed
 * A deceased person
 * A dead body
 * A burnt dead body
 * A disturbance
 * A possible disturbance
 * A 2-45
 * An officer struck by a vehicle
 * An officer down
 * An officer shot
 * An officer assaulted
 * An officer being threatened with a firearm
 * An officer harassed
 * An officer requiring back-up
 * An officer requiring immediate assistance
 * An officer requires immediate help
 * A helicopter down
 * An air unit down
 * An air squad down
 * A station emergency
 * Possession of drugs
 * A possession of drugs for sale
 * A possession of drugs for sale incident
 * A threatening phone call
 * An explosion
 * An aircraft crash
 * Officers have neutralized suspect
 * Attention, all units; threat has been neutralized.

When giving orders to other officers

 * Let's go! Move!
 * Let's get in there!
 * Aw, hell! Fall back!
 * Wow, hold up!
 * Cover me!
 * You better cover me!
 * Aim well!
 * You don't wanna miss and make me come after you!


 * Everyone with me?!
 * Get this moron!
 * Open fire!
 * Everybody ready?!
 * I got you covered! (when responding)
 * I was born ready! (when responding)
 * This loser's all mine! (when responding)
 * Damn! GET THIS SCUMBAG!
 * Cover me, all right?!
 * Shoot, dammit! SHOOT!

When a firearm is equipped

 * Oh, shit... A GUN!
 * Look out!

When insulted

 * Fucker!
 * Son of bitch!
 * Pussy!
 * Get ready to be hurt!
 * Stupid ass!
 * Let's keep it nice and calm, right?
 * I'mma teach you a lesson!
 * Whatever!
 * You little dick!
 * If you fuckin' know it!
 * I'm gonna hurt you good, then kill you!
 * What the hell's your problem?
 * You don't want to make me mad. Got it?
 * Calm down!

When speaking on a Harbour Patrol boat megaphone

 * This is the Harbour Patrol! Stop your boat, NOW!
 * Kill the engine and stop your boat, NOW!
 * Los Santos Harbour Patrol! Stop your boat, NOW!

On car megaphone to criminals or protagonists

 * Driver! Stop your vehicle!
 * This is the LSPD! Pull over now!
 * Driver! This is the LSPD! Stop your car now!
 * Stop the car, you FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
 * Slow down!
 * Hit the brakes!
 * Driver, pull over now! LSPD!
 * Stop your vehicle right fucking now, or I swear I am going to kill ya!
 * We see you! You are finished!
 * Driver, this is the LSPD! Stop your fucking car NOW!
 * Driver, this is the LSPD! Pull over immediately!
 * Driver, this is the LSPD! Stop your vehicle!
 * Driver, this is the LSPD! Come to a stop immediately!
 * Stop your car!
 * Kill this fucker... let's just shoot 'till he's stopped!*Kill this fucker... let's just shoot 'till he's stopped!
 * LSPD! Pull your fucking car over!
 * Oh for fuck's sake, somebody shoot the tires!
 * Let's end this fucking thing! Shoot the tires!

When recognising Trevor

 * Hey, jerkoff! What's up with ya?

When seeing the protagonist or arresting him

 * Stop! Police!
 * Moving south!
 * Yeah, I see him!
 * You're under arrest, you piece of crap!
 * There, gotcha!
 * LSPD! We've got you scumbag! Now freeze!
 * Police! Stop whatever the hell you're doing!
 * Stop, and don't use a muscle! Or you'll be shot by the LSPD!
 * Police! Let's see some hands up!
 * Stop right there, and don't make me do more work, asshole!
 * LSPD! YOU LOSE!
 * Police! Stop right there!
 * Don't be a dick, just get in the car!
 * Police, stop right there!
 * LSPD! Freeze!

When the protagonist gets away

 * Oh, shit we can't lose him! We'll find you asshole!
 * Where is he?!
 * I don't see him!
 * We're going to lose this asshole!
 * He's getting away!
 * WHO'S GOT EYES?!
 * You can't hide, boy! WE WILL TRACK YOU DOWN!

When car is on fire, or grenade is thrown

 * Oh, no! It's gonna blow!
 * Hit the deck!

When a Minigun is equipped

 * Jesus, he has a Minigun!
 * Dispatch, he's got a Minigun!

When a Rocket Launcher is equipped

 * He's got a Rocket Launcher!

When a Grenade Launcher is equipped

 * Shit! A Grenade Launcher!

While being stared at

 * You better STOP looking at me!

When NPC's are in the way

 * I'm trapped here! Move!
 * Move out of the way! This is police business!
 * Move it people, this is an emergency!
 * This is the LSPD! Clear the area! Now!
 * This is the LSPD! This is a warning! Clear this area!
 * You can't be here!
 * Move it, folks. NOW.
 * This is the LSPD. Disperse while you can!
 * This is a warning from the LSPD! GET OUT OF HERE!
 * Move it!
 * This is the LSPD. GO AWAY, NOW... OR THERE WILL BE TROUBLE.
 * You shouldn't be here, moron.

When reloading

 * Crap, I'm reloading!

When involved in a collision

 * What the fuck did you do to my ride?!
 * You damaged my wheels...! I'm gonna damage YOU!

When partner is killed

 * This ain't happening!
 * Oh... god.
 * God damn!
 * I need some cover while I bring him to safety!
 * No! No fucking way!
 * Oh, FUCK!
 * Help!
 * Oh, fuck! NO!
 * What the hell?!
 * I need to get him to safety!
 * Officer down!
 * Aw, shit... OFFICER DOWN!

When protagonist gets wasted

 * Perp's down! The asshole's down!
 * Suspect is down, I repeat; suspect is down!
 * Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!

When a Grenade Launcher is equipped

 * Asshole's got a grenade launcher!
 * Is that a fucking grenade launcher?!

When in danger

 * We need some FUCKING BACKUP!
 * Can't we just drop a missile on this moron?!
 * Aw, goddammit! Fall back NOW!
 * Aw, Jesus!
 * Oh, boy!
 * Fall back!
 * I NEED BACKUP!
 * BACK! FALL BACK!
 * AW, HELL... I'M PINNED DOWN HERE!
 * I NEED HELP!
 * CALL IN NOOSE, NOW!

Insulting Criminals

 * Criminal scum!
 * Motherfucker!
 * Piece o' crap!
 * You peeing in your pants now?!
 * You stupid piece of crap!
 * You're done!
 * You scumbag!
 * Never mess with me!
 * Fucking jerk!
 * I never lose, moron!
 * DIE!
 * I'll kill you, you piece of garbage!
 * Piece of garbage!
 * I can just kill you and make up a reason later!
 * It's over!

When being followed

 * Quit following me!

When multiple protagonists are wanted simultaneously

 * I swear, I'll shoot you ONE BY ONE!
 * You are finished, dickheads! Stop! (in car chase)
 * Where'd they go?! (when sight is lost, but can be heard regardless in any situation)

When on the dispatch radio

 * Dispatch, this animal's behind the wheel!
 * Dispatch, suspect has entered the metro!
 * Dispatch, suspect has entered the freeway!
 * Dispatch, suspect is on foot! I repeat, suspect is on foot!
 * Dispatch, he's got a minigun!
 * This is air support; suspect is heading NORTH.
 * This is air support, we have a visual on the suspect.
 * Reporting 1183! (Police code for an accident)
 * Dispatch, suspect's vehicle in a collision!
 * The suspect is leaving the freeway!
 * Dispatch, suspect is leaving the freeway, now!
 * We're airborne and moving in. Over.
 * This is air support, we've lost the suspect.
 * Eagle 10 here. We have a visual on the ground?
 * We have a visual. Moving in.
 * This is air support, we have him heading east.
 * We got eyes, he's on foot. Over.
 * This is Eagle Three, we don't see the suspect!
 * Suspect is heading west, do you copy?
 * Suspect is heading EAST.
 * Dispatch, suspect is on foot.
 * Eye in the sky has no visual!
 * I got eyes on the suspect!

After nearly getting run over

 * Hey! Watch it!

When greeted
When chatting to other officers
 * Hey.
 * Yeah! (Chuckle)
 * Appreciate it.
 * I met this girl on a 459 call (police code for a burglary)... she's the victim's roommate. HOT AS HELL. I told her I may have to question her again.
 * No, shit.

Female officers

 * I've got your six!
 * What did ya think was going to happen?
 * We need backup!
 * LSPD, there's nowhere to go, stop the vehicle.
 * Move dammit, police in pursuit
 * I'm going in!
 * Give yourself up!
 * I need backup, now!
 * Let's keep it moving!
 * Don't lose him!
 * Police, you're only making this worse!
 * Please move to the side of the road!
 * I'm under heavy fire, need assistance!
 * Where do you think you're going?
 * Oh my god!!!
 * Assaulting an officer are we?!
 * We will shoot out your tires!
 * Suspect is down!
 * Stop, police!

Sheriff

 * Son of a bitch!
 * When I say go, shoot this asshole!
 * When I give the signal, shoot this asshole!
 * Throw your fucking keys out the window!
 * Keys out of the ignition, now!
 * You need to pull over now!
 * Police, stop your car.
 * You piss me off, stop!
 * Pull the hell over!
 * Please, stop the car!
 * Stop that vehicle right now!
 * I'm ordering you to stop!
 * Let's see those hands right now!
 * Don't make me kill you asshole!
 * Now, now!
 * Don't worry buddy!
 * Get in there!
 * I don't think so buddy!
 * Well look at you all slow and dumb.
 * Reach for the sky buddy!
 * Well, well look who it is.
 * Not on my watch!
 * We're gonna lose him!
 * Shit, we cannot lose this turd purd!
 * He's getting away!
 * Suspects on PCP we're losing him!
 * Asshole.
 * Dumb piece of shit.
 * You people never learn!
 * I'm warning you kill the engine!
 * Imma beat you when I catch you!
 * Watch my back!
 * I don't get payed enough for this shit!
 * Where's my cover?!
 * Police! Put her out!
 * We gotta fall back!
 * You asshole!
 * Get outta the dam way!
 * Don't make me turn you into a internet video, asshole.
 * You're surrounded.
 * You got me?!
 * Stop your vehicle!
 * Stop the vehicle now...
 * Shoot the tires out!
 * You dumb ass, put that away!
 * Hands in the air!
 * What a waste a' time!
 * Give me a break with that shit!
 * Do not take...another..step!
 * Nowhere to go!
 * Asshole is on [road/highway], turning [direction turned].
 * You 'ave pissed me off! Stop!
 * Turn off the engine in your vehicle.
 * Pull over to the side of the road.
 * Now we both know, that ain't a good idea!
 * Take him out!
 * Stop the fucking vehicle!
 * We need NOOSE down here now!
 * Stop the vehicle, we need to have a little chat!
 * Are you deaf? Stop the car!
 * I am not accustomed to repeating myself! Stop!
 * What part of stop don't you understand?
 * I've got an idea to end this for good!

NOOSE

 * Stop, right now!
 * Give us a sec' to reload!
 * Killing makes my dick hard!
 * Die! "screams while firing"
 * I'm the last thing you're ever gonna see!
 * Move in!
 * We're taking casualties.
 * Man down, I repeat, man down!
 * Man down, I repeat, M.O.S is down!
 * Somebody help me!
 * Son of a bitch.
 * I don't see him!
 * She's gonna blow!
 * For the love of god!
 * There's the bastard!
 * Cover yourself!
 * Who's got eyes??!!
 * Stop! And put your hands in the air!
 * You're going down!
 * Protect yourself, there's shrapnel everywhere!
 * The threat has been neutralised.
 * Holy shit!
 * Visual contact lost!
 * Drop your fucking weapon!
 * Kiss the dirt!
 * Fuckin' pussy!
 * I kill for a living!
 * Drop the gun, or I'll shoot!
 * I can, and will kill you!
 * I, will use deadly force!
 * Nobody's going to your funeral!
 * Kill him!

The Lost MC

 * You ain't got nowhere to go!
 * Piece of shit!
 * You ain't going nowhere!
 * I'm gonna kill you then go blaze!
 * The Almighty forgives, the Lost MC don't!
 * Oh shit, they got Charlie!
 * Fuck you, and your mama, too!

Ballas

 * You in the wrong hood!
 * Yeah, so where you from, bitch?
 * Just here keeping this Original Covenant shit Original, the ol' fashioned way. (reference to set)
 * Don't fuck with the Ballas, baby! We go out in a flame! (OC Ballas in a gunfight)
 * Ballas for life! (OC Ballas in a gunfight)
 * Man, you a piece of shit! (insulting or hostile South Side Ballas)
 * Man... the fuck you over here for? (When Franklin or Trevor enters the Ballas territory)
 * Me and you gonna need a doctor, buddy (fighting OC Balla)
 * You sorry-ass chump! (hostile OC Balla)
 * You's a stupid-ass bitch! (hostile OC Balla)
 * What? Are we having a fuckin' staring contest or something? (when the player watches an OC Balla too long)
 * You Families scouts are so obvious! We recognize you bitches. (When Franklin and Trevor enter the territory)
 * O.C.B.G, get 'em up, motherfucker (fighting Balla claiming his set)
 * Wow, look at this motherfucker! He's trippin'. (fighting OC Balla)
 * I'm gonna whip my motherfucking pistol out. (melee fighting South Side Balla ironically)
 * 1-5-2-7! (Balla in a gunfight claiming a number corresponding to his set?)
 * Mmm, I put the franchise tag on that ass! (Creepy pick-up line)
 * Ballas & dollaz, you get all four corners, girl. (Pick-up line)
 * Whoo! Fine as a motherfucka'! (Pick-up line)
 * Come put that lipstick on my dickstick, beyitch! (Creepy pick-up line)
 * Oh, I think I'm in love, player. Give me a smile, baby! (Pick-up line)

Vagos

 * LSV, fucking puto!
 * Ayuda! Man down, man down!
 * Puta Madre piece of shit!
 * That's it! Nowhere to escape now!
 * Brother's hit! Ayudale!
 * Ya te cargo la chingada, pendejo!
 * Amigos! Necesitamos ayuda!
 * Say adios, puto!
 * Die, motherfucker!
 * Vagos, bitch!

The Families

 * What's going on Frank? (to Franklin only)
 * Ey, that's my boy Frank, ey! (to Franklin only)
 * Old lame-ass motherfucker! (Carson Ave/Chamberlain Families fighting Michael or Trevor)
 * Ballas? They some pussy-ass bitches. (Carson Ave/Chamberlain Families in conversation)
 * Man, if my moms joins the Ballas... (Carson Ave/Chamberlain Families in conversation)
 * Your marks ain't shit. Davis gang, bitch. (hostile insulting Davis Neighborhood Families)
 * What kind of dressing do you like on your knuckle sandwich, 'cause I'm about to serve you up "nice"?! (fighting Davis Neighborhood Families)
 * FAMILIES! YEEEEAH! (Carson Ave/Chamberlain Families in gunfight)
 * Come get the Family beatdown! (fighting Families)
 * Wanna fuck with my Family? Huh?! (fighting Families)

Rednecks/O'Neils

 * Chester is down!
 * Looks like someone had a little too much incest last night.
 * Eat this!
 * Shit dick!
 * Piece of fucking welfare trash!
 * Oh, fuck you Ted, I ain't bothering you no more!
 * Call Jesse in the clinic! We got one hurt, bad!
 * You're fucking dead, dead, dead!
 * I need to reload!
 * Motherfucker!
 * Die!
 * I've had enough of you!
 * You're an ass-kisser!
 * Dumbass!
 * Hey, shit-for-brains!
 * Bullshit!
 * I'm gonna have me some fun with you!
 * Fucknut!
 * Go get fucked!
 * Screw you!

While at the  Vanilla Unicorn

 * I'd ask for your number, but they took my phone.
 * Can somebody get me a sandwich?
 * I don't know if it's day or night. I don't even know what month it is.
 * If it's possible I might be becoming immune to boobies.
 * What would really turn me on is you wearing clown face.
 * I lost count of how many boobies I seen.
 * Sometimes I miss the sunlight.
 * They only play, like, six songs here. It's kinda making me crazy.
 * Can you ask the DJ to play some horrorcore?
 * Whenever I try and leave, they give me another dance.
 * Do any of you ladies like wearing clownface?
 * Cousin Floyd says strip clubs objectify women. But you ain't objects, you're people.

To Franklin

 * Fancy seeing you here.
 * Hey. I know that guy. It's me. Wade.
 * Trevor's somewhere, I think.

To Trevor

 * Can we stop by Debra's place T?
 * You should get Ron to stop by, Trevor.
 * Hey Trevor, these girls are real hospitable.
 * Floyd's here right? For real this time?
 * The ladies are being real nice to me, Trevor.

Links
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM-MGiaP22U - Michael De Santas quotes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg2G2utnqJA - Trevor Phillips quotes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlO7n8knyXc&list=PLVQKICHbGREHeJqnDLLTnH7mU7uSC-n8g - Police and NOOSE quotes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2a4ZTkaqqU&index=4&list=PLVQKICHbGREHeJqnDLLTnH7mU7uSC-n8g - Sheriff quotes.