Cluckin' Bell

Cluckin' Bell is a fast food restaurant chain specialized in chicken-based food products that appears in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, Grand Theft Auto IV and Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars.

Its name is probably a euphemism of fucking hell. Cluckin' Bell is most likely based on Taco Bell and KFC. Taco Bell uses a bell logo, KFC serves fried chicken, and both companies are owned by the same parent corporation. KFC has several (untrue) urban legends attributed to it, including serving someone fried rat and growing mutant chickens with multiple sets of body parts. The company has also been the target of animal rights protesters over their use of factory farming and mistreatment of their chickens before slaughter.

GTA San Andreas — GTA Liberty City Stories


In the GTA III's continuity, Cluckin' Bell was established in 1982. In 1992 (the setting of GTA San Andreas) the company ran two advertisements on local media. The first commercial states that Cluckin' Bell breed chickens with "Six wings, forty breasts" quickly before gassing them. Their stock prices fell when they denied using factory farms, although the song suggests that their stock price has risen again. The second thumbs its nose at protesters and suggests that Cluckin' Bell previously served rats along with the chicken but was no longer doing so. It also implies they use chemicals that result in breast swelling in humans.

In 1994, Cluckin' Bell was taken to court in Ohio, winning the case after no link could be found between Cluckin' Bell meals and mammary gland swelling. The Cluckin' Bell website also says that the company takes no responsibility for erectile dysfunction, hair loss, heart disease, brain shrinkage, obesity, stomach ulcers, blindness or teenage acne. The website also documents how a "recent" case against the company ended after the judge in Mexico City was killed.

Cluckin' Bell sponsors the Beat The Cock Challenge, two triathlons in GTA San Andreas which take place at Santa Maria Beach, Los Santos and Palomino Creek, Red County. Posters for the challenge are located at various points around San Andreas, including the Cobra Marital Arts Gym.

In GTA Liberty City Stories, a billboard advertises Cluckin' Bell's "Fowl Wrap" (foul crap), which sells for 99 cents.

Menu
Cluckin' Bell, like other fast food outlets in GTA San Andreas, offer the player four meals, each with different quantities of fats, with one meal, the Salad Meal, lacking any fats. In Las Venturas, the pricing of the Cluckin' Big Meal, Cluckin' Huge Meal and Salad Meal are 20% higher than in the rest of the state.

Locations
Like other fast food outlets in GTA San Andreas, Cluckin' Bell in present in all major cities in San Andreas. Within rural San Andreas, the chain has only one outlet within town limits (Angel Pine), and two outlets at intersections outside towns in Tierra Robada and Bone County.

GTA IV — GTA Chinatown Wars


Menu

Cluckin' Bell is reintroduced in GTA IV as a place for the player to regain health. However, the players are only limited to buying a $1 chicken burger (dubbed the "Fowl Burger"), which will restore the player's health in full. Cluckin' Bell also advertises a new non-interactive product, the Stuffed Pollo Todo Frito, which is a whole deep fried chicken stuffed with mashed potatoes, gravy and corn, a parody of KFC's "Famous Bowl".

In addition, the player in GTA IV can download a Cluckin' Bell theme for their upgraded phone via the website www.vipluxuryringtones.com. Cluckin' Bell is also a favorite eating spot for Little Jacob and Dwayne Forge. Other minor details include certain Benson trucks that feature Cluckin' Bell's signage, as well as an interesting addition of accessible toilets in Cluckin' Bell outlets separated for both men and women (labeled "Cocks" and "Chicks", respectively).

Cluckin' Bell in GTA Chinatown Wars is even less significant, appearing only as a non-interactive and inaccessible part of the cityscape. Yankee trucks in the game may also bear Cluckin' Bell liveries, appearing in yellow and bearing the Cluckin' Bell logo on its sides.

Locations
Unlike Cluckin' Bell in GTA San Andreas and its indirect competition in GTA IV, Burger Shot, which offers 10 outlets, Cluckin' Bell's presence in the game is far more limited, with only four outlets throughout Liberty City, in Cerveza Heights in Dukes, Northwood in Algonquin (closed), The Triangle in Algonquin, and Berchem in Alderney (closed).

While GTA Chinatown Wars features the same outlets existing at the same locations in Dukes and Algonquin, the Berchem outlet is absent as Alderney is not include in the game's setting.

Theme song
In GTA San Andreas, the companies two theme songs used in their somewhat odd radio advertisements are below. The first is as follows:

Cock a doodle doo it's time for chicken! Cock a doodle doo it's time for a feast!

Eat a 90 piece bucket you can tell.... he's been to cluckin bell!

The chicken is a bird with a tiny brain, So we assume he doesn't feel any pain

We shrink their heads and we breed 'em fast, six wings, forty breasts, then they're gassed,

Cock a doodle doo we're psychotic crazies, Cock a doodle doo factory farming's insane,

We denied it all before our stock price fell, Come down to cluckin bell! Cluckin' Bell: If you enjoyed it, the chicken didn't die in vain!

And the second:

Cock-a-doodle-do, we're a huge corporation, Cock-a-doodle-do, and we can't be stopped, All you protesters can go to hell, It's time for Cluckin Bell!

From the factory farmer to your plate, The chicken's life is a sorry state, It's pumped full of chemicals, but what the hell, They even make my breasts swell!

Filled full of hormones, so they get fat, At least we no longer slip in a rat, I love chicken with a shitty smell, And that's why I love Cluckin Bell!

Cluckin' Bell: Suffering never tasted so good!

Trivia

 * In certain Cluckin' Bell restaurants in GTA San Andreas, cups with the Burger Shot logo can be seen on cup dispensers.
 * The music heard in GTA IV Cluckin' Bell's comes from Liberty Rock Radio 97.8 and Radio Broker