Jill Von Crastenburg

"Did I grow up too last? ls 18 too young to retire? Why was I more of a sex symbol before I reached the age of consent? It's a fucked up world."

- Jill Von Crastenburg on Bleeter

Jill Von Crastenburg is a celebrity in the Grand Theft Auto series, who is mentioned in both Grand Theft Auto IV and Grand Theft Auto V.

Background and Events of GTA IV
Jill Von Crastenburg was born in Algonquin, Liberty City, into the Von Crastenburg Family, one of the richest families in the world. She is the best friend of Cloe Parker. Since her 11th birthday, she has been internationally famous for her extreme wealth and presence on the Liberty City party circuit, becoming one of the most photographed celebrities in the world. When she was 12, she was sent to 15 expensive private schools at the same time after she could walk again after her father gave her diamond miners for her 12th birthday.

She is frequently hounded by paparazzi - the most outlandish examples include her being told to re-enact a tantrum because cameramen were not at the scene, and media attention for her doing the most mundane activities (buying STD cream in a Downtown Los Santos supermarket). According to Our Own Reality, Jill is apparently one of the world's most photographed celebrities and suffers from an unspecified eating disorder. She is extremely spoiled and self-absorbed. Jill has suffered from a nervous breakdown (in which she was placed into a psych ward for observation, though it was speculated that this was just a publicity stunt for her upcoming reality show).

In early 2008, she began a three-week relationship with Cuban baseball player Ernesto Asaltacunas. At the beginning of GTA IV, she left him for a new boyfriend, and a sex tape was released of her cheating on him by giving oral sex to an Opium Nights valet, as her boyfriend paid the bar tab in the very next room. The tape quickly circulated on Electric Tit but was removed from the site.

Events of GTA V
Although not seen physically in the actual game, Jill Von Crastenburg makes her presence known on the website Bleeter. A reading of her Bleets reveals her thoughts on wondering if she has grown up too fast and if 18 is too early to retire. Her Bleeter picture humorously shows that she has aged rather drastically.

There are six hotels in Los Santos called "Von Crastenburg Hotel", however it is not confirmed if she and her family own it. Her name appears on one of the many stars on the sidewalk in Downtown Vinewood.

During the Vinewood Star Tours, the tour guide says that Jill made some sex videos with a Romanian shot up team in the streets of Los Santos.

During Vinewood Souvenirs - Mark, Nigel says he has Jill's pregnancy test on his wall.

Age
By most sources, she is only 13 years old during GTA IV, though her sexual activity, popularity among the internet porn crowd and admittance to bars causes some to question this, while in GTA V, she is 18 years old.

According to Our Own Reality, she is a college dropout, but they confirm that she is still in her teens. Her entry in the LCPD Database listing her age as 13 makes it highly unlikely that she is older. Curiously, she is the only minor listed in the database.

Assuming that she is 13, she is most likely a caricature of modern children (especially wealthy and famous) growing up too fast.

Fame and wealth
The Von Crastenburg Family own many large homes. One of the many residences is a 45 bedroom mansion along in Westdyke, Alderney. It is on Owl Creek Avenue, next door to Jill's best friend Cloe Parker.

Jill's own bedroom features murals of erotic fairy tales (i.e. "Robin Hood taking it in the can from the big bad wolf") painted by celebrity artists Simon & Nigel, and she owns a flying rabbit as a pet. Despite amassing one of the largest fortunes in the world, the Von Crastenburgs do not pay taxes by claiming to practice their religion inside their house, according to I'm Rich.

Jill is also set to host a new reality TV show titled America's Sexiest Terrorist.

Influence
Jill Von Crastenburg is based on Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie (as a teenager). Both of them have an extreme party life style and, in the case of Paris Hilton, they also have a family well known for their hotel chain.

The scenario is also likely meant to poke fun at the unhealthy sexual images of Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus and the Olsen Twins, while they were still under 18. Pedophilia is a topic discussed in the game.

Trivia

 * Jill can be seen on the right-side of the I'm Rich billboard in Star Junction.
 * She attended Bullworth Academy at some point in her life.
 * Jill shares her model in GTA IV with rich female pedestrians found around Rotterdam Hill and inner-city Algonquin.
 * Jill is one of two minors whose ages appear clearly and have appearances in the GTA series, the other being Mary-Beth Williams.

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