Our-own-reality.com



our-own-reality.com is a news website on the Internet in Grand Theft Auto IV, The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony.

Description
Our Own Reality is similar to the Liberty Tree and Weazel News websites, however its reporting is limited to celebrity news. The only articles that remotely effect Niko are the website's expose on Bryce Dawkins being gay, and a short ridicule aimed at Brucie Kibbutz.

The website is a parody of gossip news sources such as TMZ, and serves the purpose of being a satire on 2000s-era celebrity obsession. They parody the exploits of celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, Britney Spears and her 2007 breakdown, and Sean "Diddy" Combs among others. Elements are also taken from British (Kate Moss and the British royal family) and even Russian (billionaire Andrey Melnichenko and his marriage to model Aleksandra Kokotovic) tabloid culture.

Reports
During the course of the game, they specifically report on:

Beginning of GTA IV / Throughout The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony

 * Jill Von Crastenburg's sex tape.
 * Condemning JNV for having a small amount of cellulite.
 * A gardener of the British royal family claiming one of its members is a hermaphrodite (it's implied that the website paid him to lie).
 * Kirk Stapleton losing his tongue in a stage accident during the play "The Flying Whore".
 * Samantha Muldoon's twenty minute marriage to Kirk Simplex.
 * January Natasha Vasquez walking down the street.

After "Actions Speak Louder than Words"
Brucie Kibbutz will send Niko a link to the site, and tells him that as hard as he tries to get featured on the site, sending in workout photos and even sex tapes, they are only reporting on Tony McTony and Tyrone "Tower" Hancock)
 * Tony McTony planning to sue LC24 magazine for defamation, after they said he has a Napoleon complex. The article includes a short biography of him and his lifestyle.
 * Traci Wilson, once the MVP and 10-year captain of the American soccer team Liberty City Cocks, is now working at a Burger Shot in Los Santos.
 * Ernesto Asaltacunas having dinner with his mother.
 * Charles Martin, an Alderney Senator, is thought to have posed for a homoerotic "goatse" screensaver.
 * Crotch shots from the paparazzi becoming cliche.
 * The site trying to spread a rumor about an English gay celebrity couple, artists named Simon & Nigel. They presume Simon cheated on Nigel after a checkup from his dentist. They have also recently done art shows consisting of gruesome historical events, reenacted with themselves dressed as gorillas (they are separately mentioned in I'm Rich as having done murals in Jill Von Crastenburg's home).
 * Julian Glockwell, the co-star of the 1980s action show Angel and the Knight, quitting his poorly-received blog.
 * A streaker from a Liberty City Penetrators game issuing a press statement that it was a very cold day, referring to his penis size.

After "Tunnel of Death" - Brucie sends a second email

 * Kerry McIntosh crashing her car into a Wigwam Burger restaurant after checking out of rehab.
 * Furries debate over realism vs. better positions during sex. (image shown of a woman in a Cluckin' Bell Chicken uniform)
 * Tyrone "Tower" Hancock, a washed-up 1980s basketball star, French kissing a homeless man.
 * Cloe Parker and Jill Von Crastenburg fight and make up five times in a single evening at Maisonette 9, which included catfights and drunken bisexual behavior. One instigator was Crastenburg saying hello to Parker's ex-boyfriend, also at the club.
 * Katt Maguire pooping on the sidewalk outside a London nightclub (poop up for sale on Craplist.net for $300).
 * JNV beginning a crash diet (possibly anorexia) to better her career.
 * Kirk Simplex buying his 8th English castle.
 * Weazel News launching a new channel, Weazel War, showing what Our Own Reality calls "US troops kicking ass around the world" 24 hours a day.

After "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend"

 * Tyler Dixon requesting $3 million dowry from Cloe Parker. Other elements of their relationship are discussed; Cloe is the mother of a three-month old black baby which she normally lacks proper caution in caring for (reference to criticisms of Britney Spears' parenting skills, Dixon is also a parody of Spears' ex-husband Kevin Federline). Dixon claims the child is his, even though he is white and he met Cloe only two months before the baby was born. Cloe's billionaire father also stated that he sorely disapproves of Dixon.
 * Cherise McCormic, a 1980s celebrity featured on Waning With The Stars, may have faked being a drug addict to appear on the show.
 * Reality shows struggling to find "cranky" British judges, a reference to singing judge Simon Cowell.
 * Condemning Jill Von Crastenburg for a small amount of cellulite
 * In response to Brucie Kibbutz' persistence (see below), the staff of the website briefly mock him and demand he leave them alone.
 * Tony McTony being criticized for giving his newborn son Pete McTony "too normal a name".
 * Liberty Governor candidates John Hunter and Michael Graves participating in an immature online flame war to appeal to younger voters.
 * Samantha Muldoon switching religions 3 times in 1 week, eventually deciding on the Epsilon Program.

After the final mission

 * Bryce Dawkins exposed as being homosexual after a photo turns up of him kissing "a MALE fitness instructor". Dawkins aggressively denies that he is gay, but goes to a rehab clinic for reasons he would not elaborate on (strong rumors say the facility treats sex addictions). The photo does not feature Bryce's kiss, but only Bryce's image next to a gay-looking man who is not his boyfriend Bernie Crane. Though the text description matches Bernie (fitness instructor living in a lavish apartment), it is more than possible that Bryce had several boyfriends.
 * Samantha Muldoon adopting a 14th child.
 * Tyler Dixon getting his ponytail shortened slightly
 * Tony McTony severely beating a stripper from The Triangle Club during sexual intercourse. Several of McTony's girlfriends, defended McTony and said she "had it coming". McTony was only punished with 3 days of community service.
 * "Like" being voted word of the year, followed by "Whatever" and "Totally".
 * A very positive review of the dance film "Popping".
 * Kerry McIntosh chasing a paparazzi who peeped into her bathroom with a kitchen knife.

Our-own-reality.com Our Own Reality