Weazel News

"Weazel News, Confirming your prejudices!"

- Tagline, circa 2013.

Weazel News Television is the news branch of Weazel that appears in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, Grand Theft Auto IV, Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars, Grand Theft Auto V and Grand Theft Auto Online.

Description
The Weazel News name was first mentioned briefly in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, as an insult by host Richard Goblin during a closing dialog in "Coq 'O' Vin" in LCFR. It is in Grand Theft Auto IV, however, when its prominence was elevated, reporting events of Liberty City and the exploits of the player.

In the HD Universe, Weazel News is a massive news network with three news divisions including Weazel Sports. In GTA IV, Niko can visit the website, watch it on television, or most commonly, listen to it on the radio. Weazel News also operates a program known as The Weazel News Morning Show, most likely a parody of Fox &amp; Friends. In GTA V, the main broadcasting building for the network can be found in Little Seoul and its corporate headquarters, based on the Fox Plaza, is located in Rockford Hills. Weazel News also owns their own set of custom Rumpo news vans.

Reporters

 * Alison Maybury, radio reporter
 * Artie Schneider, meteorologist
 * Bryan Wilkinson, radio reporter
 * Callista Brown, radio reporter
 * Charles Justice, anchor.
 * Cindy Shiny, anchor
 * Eric House, radio street reporter
 * Eugene White, website writer
 * Jenny Acorn, radio street reporter
 * Jim Harrison, main radio/TV reporter
 * John Chesapeake, website writer
 * John Rios, website writer
 * Karl Kelly, finance reporter
 * Kenny Lapolano, sports
 * Lori Diangelo-Stockton, TV/radio rep
 * Leslie Mitchell, website writer
 * Malcolm Forthright, news reporter
 * Malinda Manchester, news reporter
 * Mike Whitley, main radio street reporter
 * Rick Simpson, website writer
 * Sheila Hall, news reporter
 * Lazlow Jones street reporter
 * Sheila Hitano, street reporter
 * Trip Michaels, weather reporter
 * Julia Mccaffrey, weather reporter

Radio stories
The news on the radio will update itself as the player progresses through the story.

Grand Theft Auto IV

 * Bridge closings, Mayor Ochoa weapons ban
 * Cluckin' Bell claim to have eliminated pigeons in Liberty City, Samantha Muldoon child adoption
 * Jingoism Act renewed, the rise of crime in Hove Beach, The Horn deodorant, dead Platypus captain
 * Plan to outlaw online poker, Manny Escuela, Lazlow returns
 * Tom Goldberg, Yusuf Amir's new apartment complex
 * Police brutality, hybrid cars, traffic report of Broker and Dukes, new taxi fare agreement, meth
 * Rise in crime with the police blaming the Eastern Europeans, hybrid cars popularity, protest over bridge closures
 * BAWSAQ pummels, Congress passes the Jingoism Act, Michael Graves and John Hunter campaigns, Alderney mob gaining prominence
 * Francis McReary, meth, Bryce Dawkins's homophobic rant
 * Bryce Dawkins's apology, new border security bill, Europe underperforming
 * War on Terror, global warming denials, beheaded victim found in river
 * Explosion in Bohan, phone market saturated in cheap phones
 * Violent shootout in a cabaret in Hove Beach, dealing with rise in Russian organized crime, the Swingers wanting a new stadium
 * Littlelacysurprisepageant.com, The Angels of Death and The Lost MC war, online dating sites, Lazlow returns after six years of absence and announcement of Integrity
 * Pressure on Ochoa to open bridges, another decapitated and mutilated jogger in Alderney, online dating caution
 * Ochoa reopens bridges over Humboldt River, link between drug rings and terrorism, Lazlow launches Integrity 2.0, BAWSAQ
 * Illegal street races on the rise, same-sex marriage battle, series of violent beatings in Middle Park
 * Biker Jason Michaels found dead, biker war, BAWSAQ closes down, two fires started by arson with Molotov Cocktails in Hove Beach
 * Pavano capo testifies in court, Bryce Dawkins pushes city ordinance banning gays at fire stations
 * Tom Rivas killed, high prices of meds led to influx of cloned meds, Web 2.0
 * Deadly helicopter and powerboat racing, BAWSAQ news, Excelsior Extreme 9 promoted in Republican Space Rangers
 * Tom Goldberg killed, serial killer strikes man in Dukes, has limbs stolen, barroom shootout between Angels of Death and Liberty City Triads
 * Killing in Chinatown in front of arcade, newborn murdered father to marry mother, renovation of Libertonian Museum
 * Increase police presence in potential terrorist targets, violent shootout at construction site, libraries nationwide shutting
 * Shootout at The Triangle Club, Joshua Hampton wanted, Dave Bosoy found dead
 * Counterfeit bills, serial killer terrorizing city, deadly shootout in Fishmarket
 * Aiden O'Malley murdered, NOOSE seizes cocaine shipment, video games may cause impotence
 * Schlongberg Sachs employees test positive for drugs, BitterSweet Email Device popularity
 * Sam Flowers is a Liberty City politician, who, during a celebration, accidentally ate a used urinal cake (believing it was a confectionery cake) and immediately blamed minorities and/or homosexuals for an attempt on his life.

The Lost and Damned
The Lost and Damned feature stories unique to Johnny Klebitz's storyline but also includes references events from the GTA IV storyline:


 * Arthur Stubbs killed in terrorist attack, several prominent stockbrokers arrested for insider trading, Michael Graves illegitimate child
 * Stockbrokers freed from prison, Angels of Death and Uptown Riders motorcycle gangs sell merchandise

The Ballad of Gay Tony
The Ballad of Gay Tony features stories unique to Luis Fernando Lopez' storyline, but references events in the other plots as well.


 * Evan Moss murder
 * Annihilators exploding near Rotterdam Tower
 * Bobby Jefferson gives a speech after an attempted assassination. (GTA IV story)
 * Mayor Ochoa proposes plan to flood subways to fight rodent infestation and the bad smell of pee from the homeless.
 * A British Government official loses laptop containing private information. The Home Office says, "Nothing to worry" and "Don't panic," but images for the Ministry of Defence's Christmas party has been found on the Internet.
 * President Lawton involved in a texting/email scandal with the Italian Prime Minister
 * A MyRoom user sets fire to a neighbor's house after being unfriended by the neighbor.

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars features only one news segment from Weazel News during the credits of the game as part of the "Chinatown Wars (Remix)" song, making reference to some of Wade and Hsin’s missions and references to the final mission of the game.


 * One man shot to death and another wounded.
 * Gang violence in Chinatown, Algonquin.
 * The Triads are considered the most dangerous crimes syndicate in the city.
 * Three more found dead in Chinatown.
 * Assassinated in broad daylight
 * Three more found dead in Chinatown (Repeated)

Grand Theft Auto V

 * Devin Weston profits from Congress's decision to allow Merryweather to expand domestic operations, gang crime on the rise, funding war between security agencies (FIB and IAA) rages in the Capitol, Epsilonism declared not a cult, historic Vinewood movie studio closed down, Bawsaq in wild swings again as stocks drop.
 * Gang shootout in Puerto Del Sol, excitement building for Lifeinvader's new product launch, breakthrough in the notorious Leonora Johnson case, arms trafficking in The Senora Desert, local paparazzi union says that high-resolution camera phones are putting them out of business.
 * Car dealership in Pillbox Hill destroyed (Complications), upsurge in armed ATM robberies, Devin Weston buys stake in Richards Majestic, EyeFind sending cars with sophisticated cameras to take pictures of every street and house in America, including images of the inside of your home.
 * High-speed gun battle on a Los Santos freeway (Father/Son), members from Chinese criminal organizations entering the U.S. illegally, Epsilonism still growing, Los Santos Transit Authority announces funding for a new streetcar project of $16 billion, a '60s art house classic returns to cinemas.
 * A house collapses in Vinewood Hills (Marriage Counseling), vigilantes getting tough on illegal immigration, new movies Meltdown and Deep Inside going green screen; what kind of person waits in line for a phone?
 * A drug deal turns into a shootout (The Long Stretch), Mexican gang Varrios Los Aztecas now active in the Alamo Sea region of San Andreas, a rally of sick patients to legalize medical cocaine turns violent, Peter Dreyfuss rumoured to be directing another movie.
 * Jay Norris' head is blown off on live TV, The Lost MC terrorizing the community of The Alamo Sea, Merryweather enters the postal service.
 * Rockford Hills jewelry store robbery (Smart Approach), Fame or Shame is back, MC Clip proclaims himself a genius, Mirror Park hipsters are invading the Alamo Sea.
 * Rockford Hills jewelry store robbery (Loud Approach), Fame or Shame is back, MC Clip proclaims himself a genius, Mirror Park hipsters are invading the Alamo Sea.
 * Deadly shootout at airport in Blaine County, Don Percival says Merryweather is not in the Port of Los Santos yet, police confused about hitchhikers going missing in Western Blaine County, neighborhoods telling Farmer's markets that enough is enough.
 * Bloody shootout at a Meth lab in Sandy Shores, Facade hit with a data mining scandal, wealthy residents protest against a planned extension of the Los Santos Metro, erection pill wars rage on.
 * Police requesting increased resources from the state to deal with escalating drug wars in the Alamo Sea, the race for governor heats up to a boil, The Loneliest Robot in Great Britain is the top film in America and has parents voicing concern of its material, protesters outside of the Weazel News Building are upset about the new Republican Space Rangers, actor Gordon Henderson files lawsuit against Vinewood Star Tours.
 * Killing and subsequent burning of the O'Neil Brothers' house.
 * A homeless guy (who is actually Trevor) chases Kerry McIntosh's dog.
 * Al Di Napoli survives or is killed by stalkers.

Grand Theft Auto Online
In Grand Theft Auto Online, the player can watch a dedicated Weazel News channel constantly showing Police Maverick and cinematic footage of other random players in the Free Mode lobby, prioritizing those players with wanted levels. The channel is only available when other players are in the Free Mode lobby.

Influence

 * Weazel News is a parody of Fox News, as both weasels and foxes are mammals native to North America. "Weasel" is an insult that is synonymous with an untrustworthy person, as well as a euphemism for a penis.
 * In GTA IV, Weazel News on the Radio is similar to real-life radio station 1010 WINS (a CBS All-News Radio Station). Mike Whitley, one of the reporters of Weazel News, is also voiced by an actual reporter of the aforementioned station.
 * Also, the graphic seen in the mission Legal Trouble, is similar to the CNN graphic.
 * The company's previous slogan, "reporting the right news," is a reference to the long-running accusations of Fox News' right-wing biased reporting.
 * Despite this, Weazel News seems to be slightly more left-wing compared to real-life Fox News, and seems to take some aspects from both and.

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