Commercials in GTA 2

GTA 2 was the first game in the Grand Theft Auto series where commercials were featured in the game's radios. These fictional ads use well known tropes and clichés employed in real life commercials, albeit in humorous and eccentric ways.


 * Jizz Drive: a graphics driver marketed to owners of poor-resolution PCs that have manual entertainment needs.
 * Perk Up: a viagra-injection product by Sex & Reproducting Systems, because "It looks so easy in the movies, but keeping it up can be a real problem!".
 * Endurodom: a condom marketed to regular clients of prostitutes, "because when you are on the game not all profilactics are the same".
 * Pizza Cake: a bizzarre food mixing pizza and cake, advertized by an Italian chef.
 * 3rd World Bank: "is your future safe? Life savings invested in a secure, growing market? What about your children? You might be surprised to hear that 93% of bank investments are ethical, legal friendly, and wide open to market collapse. 3rd World Bank promotes the potential of underdeveloped countries through defence, tobacco and pharmaceutical investments."
 * DNA Food: "Doesn't Need Anything is the new Zaibatsu developed baby food, because early entry into the Zaibatsu food program builts a better youth. DNA Food, shaping tomorrow's adults".
 * Silky Milky: a French couple in passion, the man tries his luck touching the woman's breasts, only to find that "these implants are not Silky Milky! Only Silky Milky implants by Zaibatsu feel and taste like the real thing".
 * Flipper Dolphin: a product to fish dolphins, but if it catches "a little tuna, it goes back into the big blue yonder".
 * Orgasmo Bars: a chocolate bar advertized in a highly sexualized way; "-Mmm... cold hard chocolate... -Surge after surge of creamy caramel... -Melts in your mouth... -And in your hand".
 * Genie: "stress and strain of everyday life grinding you down? Genie, a new herbal medicine from Krishna Medicine designed to aid you through everyday life."
 * Zoom Zoom: "the legal wake up to last all day. Zoom Zoom, a recently legalized aid for people in need of a wake up call, developed exclusively by the Zaibatsu corporation with South American plant extracts."
 * Lad Rover: a pick-up advertized as having more pulling power than any other truck in its class, and that makes its owner become a "fanny magnet" (this term would become the cheat for attracting female pedestrians in GTA Vice City).
 * S-Uzi: an advertisement for the game's Machine Gun showcasing situations where a vulnerable person would need it (i.e. a granny and a clerk).
 * Crazy CJ's: calorie fat, juicy and delicious "Mad Burgers", "you'd be insane to miss them!"
 * Super Lead Gasoline: "this ain't regular gas, it's rocket fuel", it isn't safe for the environment, but "it tastes better already", a sweet gasoline that will put hair on your chest.
 * Cerama-teeth/Cocoa Fizz: Zaibatsu presents Cerama-teeth, a product that lets the family continue enjoying Cocoa Fizz, which is a drink that rots teeth.
 * Credex Gold: a credit card with distinction, when you are placing bets and end up in a tight spot you need a card that can squeeze you out. Credex Gold, "the premier choice of lounge lizards and game developers all around the world".
 * Hush: "does the modern world moves too fast? Noise, stress? You need a break. You deserve a break. You need Hush, the new sedative from Zaibatsu. Hush, when you don't need to rush. -Do not use Hush while driving. Hush users becomes medically dependent after 28 days".