The Fandom Menace

The Fandom Menace is a mission in Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars given to protagonist Huang Lee by Zhou Ming.

Script
(At Zhou's Residence)

Zhou: Ah, my little friend. Isn't it wonderful? While other Triads grow in infamy, I grow in fame. While they're wanted by the Feds, I'm pursued only by the press, to whom I'm a civic benefactor. A man of outstanding skill and great spiritual power. A modern hero.

Huang: At a time like this, you're courting publicity?

Zhou: I didn't ask for the burden of greatness, nor the paparazzi's prying cameras. But, in the long term, it could be very beneficial especially when it comes to picking up women, not that I need any help, of course. While I attend to my business, you must see to it that the press get no photos of me. The public's faith in me must be preserved.

(Picking up Chun Chun Fung)

Zhou: Wait here, Huang. Chun Chun Fung will be joining us. He's a very uptight man, and not the swiftest walker... Ah, Chun Chun! Climb in my friend. How are your hemorrhoids today? Huang, let's go.

(Picking up Chow)

Zhou: Chou Chin is meeting us here. He's wanted for arson in 49 states or so he claims. I doubt he even knows where half of them are. So glad you could join us Chow. Drive on, Huang.

(At Zhou's Residence)

Zhou: Huang, we must decide who are to be the powerful Triad headmen once I'm the new boss so it's time you left, and let us get on with our discussion. Run along.

Huang: Patronizing dick.

Zhou: I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Let me see... um... please, do me a little favor, and get the fuck out of here. Thank you.