User:Mortsnarg

"So I like this girl but she's ignoring me. I think she's playing hard to get because she got a restraining order Idk. We hang out a lot, well I hang in her tree and watch her undress through her window. Once she caught me peeking and called the police. I shot a few policemen and so it was really awkward when I saw her in school. Also she's in grade 3 and I'm in grade 10 so it's a bit awkward. But please tell me what to do!"

- Some cheeky scrub on Youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aowSGxim_O8&list=FLWBT6t5UBtzSuzbtaMZp6Gw&index=25

Mary Jane's Last Dance - Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers

Hello! My name is Mr Mortsnarg and this is my profile! I'm an enormous fan of the ''GTA games. ''I hope to become a writer as a professional career, and create content inspired by the games I have an immeasurable amount of fun in. Please enjoy this wiki and my profile!

My Favorite GTA items

 * Favorite GTA game: My favorite game in the series would be The Ballad of Gay Tony and in for a second choice, Grand Theft Auto V. My reason for having TBOGT as my favorite game is because (among other things) of the atmosphere and tone of Liberty City in it. I felt that in Grand Theft Auto IV, there was always this kind of emptiness and smallness to the world even if it wasn't really there. It did what it wanted to do which is illustrate what it's like to live in the worst city in America but it did it in a way that made you always feel like you're at the bottom of the food chain even when you've gotten a penthouse in Algonquin and 500,000+ dollars, it just didn't feel like what the game wanted me to feel like. In TBOGT it had a certain open-ness to it that brought it to a feeling that was even more than what GTA IV had hoped to accomplish. Another reason TBOGT is a good game in my opinion is because of the the theme. The theme of trying to keep your friends close when the enemies are coming in closer is an interesting one and a theme I can't recall being in another GTA game.
 * Favorite GTA protagonist: While I like TBOGT more than GTA IV I still like Niko Bellic more than Luis Lopez. Niko has an excellent blend of remorse, guilt and even insanity that works well for a playable character in a GTA game.
 * Favorite radio station: K-DST. K-DST had some of the best tunes that the GTA games had to offer with Free Bird, Young Turks and Running Down a Dream as highlights.
 * Favorite missions: Black Project from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Three Leaf Clover from GTA IV. Black Project managed to have several different types of great things and made it all work in balance. There's action, mystery and even humor in the background and context of the mission and coincidentally those three things are what would describe GTA: San Andreas as a game. In the case of Three Leaf Clover there's just level of fun that's to be had. The payout in the case of both missions is excellent and brings a lasting effect to both of them in the game-world and in with Three Leaf Clove the events are mentioned in almost all of the following games to come.
 * Favorite vehicles
 * Favorite cars: Picador, Warrener and Tampa. I'm a fan of classic cars and these are some of the best in my opinion. The Picador is reasonably fast and has good handling and looks  pristine.  The Warrener is a well designed 4-door drift-car that has some of the fastest speeds of any of the sedans in the series. The Tampa can easily be mistaken for a Sabre Turbo but once get up to driving it you'll realize otherwise and be dodging cops all the way from the bank.
 * Favorite boats: The Speeder and the Marquis. The Speeder is an excellent boat for making a quick getaway and has that 1960's design that I'm always a sucker for. The Marquis while being painfully slow and more keen towards a tropical getaway is still a beautiful boat and is good for venturing out on the open sea.
 * Favorite helicopters: Swift and Cargobob. The Swift is a great helicopter for a parachute jump or for getting somewhere quick and landing with precision, due to its wheels that detract and retract similar to a planes landing gear. The Cargobob is the funnest vehicle in all the GTA series because of the ability to lift cars and boats off of the ground or out of the water and it's large carrying capacity which makes it an ideal crew helicopter for GTA Online.
 * Favorite planes: The Skimmer/ Dodo Seaplane and the Besra. The Skimmer was the best plane in GTA: San Andreas in my opinion. I could land in the water of the San Fierro Bay without destroying my plane and it looked fantastic when I put the camera in cinematic mode. The Besra is always fun as it's the fastest vehicle in all of the GTA games and looks damn fine with the Flight Suit equipped and flying above the desert at high noon.DodoSeaplane-Mortsnarg-GTAV.jpg

To-Do List

 * Make a page
 * Make another page
 * Make another page
 * Make one other swag page
 * Do 1 edit
 * Do 50 edits
 * Do 100 edits
 * Do 500 edits
 * Do 1,000 edits
 * Do 5,000 edits
 * Do 10,000 edits
 * Do 50,000 edits
 * Do 100,000 edits
 * Do 500,000 edits
 * Do 1,000,000 edits
 * Do 50,000,000 edits
 * Do 100,000,000 edits
 * Do 500,000,000 edits
 * Do 1,000,000,000 edits
 * Get a life
 * Be the first to make a page on a game or DLC from Rockstar
 * Watch through all of My Name is Earl (done!)
 * Watch through all of Breaking B ad (done!)
 * W atch through all of Miami Vice
 * Wa tch through all of The Office (American Version)
 * Watch Full Metal Jacket (done!)
 * Watch Pulp Fiction (done!)
 * Watch Michael Mann's Heat
 * Remove all the pointless, stupid content that plagues this wiki
 * Add speculation.
 * Get a girlyfriend

Actual To-Do List

 * Integrate current trivia facts into articles
 * Record every mask ever featured in the GTA games on the Masks page.

Random Folks

 * Ralph Sepe Jr. - A rad 18-19 year old filmmaker and reviewer who will makes some of the best films I've seen made on the internet
 * YMS - Hilarious movie reviewer and musician
 * Red Letter Media - Another movie review channel, except they're bigger than the former and latter

GTA Folks

 * GTASeriesVideos - Most have heard of them. They're one of the best GTA-related Youtube channels
 * 8-Bit Bastard - Makes damn fine GTA machinimas
 * Angros Creations - Makes other damn fine GTA machinimas
 * Liberty Lunatic - The thinking man's DomisLive

GTA III C+
This game is OK as wine, from what I've played of it. I can see why people say that it's the best game in the series, it was the first of its kind and can be very good in an innovation and nostalgic sense. That's great and all, but I played after playing GTA IV and GTA V, so the innovation part of it lost me. The game had neither of those effects on me, so it just seemed like a lesser version of the GTA's I have played. It's alright and I'll give credit for being the first game of its kind, but it's still pretty ghetto in the gameplay, graphics, music, story, etc.

GTA: Vice City B-
This is actually the first GTA game I played as well as the first "violent" video game I played. I remember playing it back in 2008 when I was just in 2nd grade. It was so much fun to me, to be able to roam around the map without an invisible barrier. It was then that I gained an interest in the open world genre of games. I don't remember very much about the game itself, but what I do remember is that it was a hell of a lot of fun and it was amazing to be able to cruise down the Vice Beach. It's score is mostly nostalgia based.

GTA: San Andreas B+
I didn't play this game the years after came out, unlike most fans of it. It wasn't until 2014 when I got the chance to play it when I put it on my laptop. My first experience wasn't what I expected it to be on PC, this was because the controls were terrible on it and I could barely play it properly. I was really disappointed and I didn't play it for several months. Then some kid at school said that was selling his PS2 to make room for his PS3. He said that one of the games he was selling was San Andreas and I immediately jumped on the deal. I played all the way through the game up until on of the Zero missions, where I rage-quat. This was right around the time when Rockstar released San Andreas for the Xbox for 4 dollars and that time, I played through it all the way. I had an amazing time playing it and I intend to do so again. The characters, map, weapons, vehicles and music were all perfect in immersing me in the State of San Andreas.

GTA IV B+
I like GTA IV a lot more than other gamers or even fans of the series do. It has a nostalgic element to me and I remember those memories of sitting in my cozy chair and drive around Hove Beach, listening to 1972 by the Smashing Pumpkins. Or after constantly failing the mission, managing to succeed and get Little Jacob home and pick up a terrified Roman a mission later. The excellent memories of this game are near-infinite. It's a game that goes close to heart to me and the New York City-esque landscape of Liberty City is, and always will be, one of the greatest cities in any work of fiction. Now you may be wondering why I gave it a B+ instead of the A+ I've been hyping it up to be. The reason is because the story and the gameplay mechanics are mostly horrible. The story, while having a good moral, is overused and boring that can be seen from a mile away while taking itself way''' too seriously. '''The gameplay mechanics don't help with the shooting and driving being very slow and uncomfortable. I think the map, music, characters and nostalgia are excellent while the story and the gameplay, aren't.

The Lost and Damned   B
Everything regarding motorbikes in GTA IV has been improved. The problem with this is that there was very little actually about motorbikes in GTA IV to begin with. Johnny Klebitz is interesting enough as a protagonist and he walks the line of being threating and likable pretty well. The side characters are pretty cool too, but they aren't as memorable as the ones featured in GTA IV. Motorbike physics have thankfully been fixed and made actually drivable, as it would be a bit of a problem if that sensitive kind of thing was kept. The filter that they added was really horrible and while immersing you somewhat in the game, it made everything look ugly. My final verdict is that it's alright.

The Ballad of Gay Tony A
You already know what I think about this if you read my "favorite" list. Not much has changed.

GTA V A
My god, what a game. It's very rare when you find a game that you can play over and over again for a SUPER long time. The car mechanics have been tweaked so that they don't handle like complete shit like they did in GTA IV, having less weight and having more of an arcade style feel to them (as well as the cars and vehicles themselves having more variety.) The on-foot handling has been improved so that you have the feeling of truly, going anywhere (instead of having a more linear way of walking in line like Niko in GTA IV) The sheer mission variety also brings GTA V into a realm entirely different from the kind of thing that was going in in GTA IV, by having insane and totally unrealistic style to them that made you WANT to play them. There is downsides though, the missions may be fun but the story itself is pretty damn boring. The first act is pretty interesting and all is going pretty good until Trevor actually comes to Los Santos, then it gets extremely stupid and nothing seems to have a point. It picks up briefly in the last third with all the revelations about Brad and Michael and Dave. Franklin seems to be overlooked in the terms of the main story and he did literally nothing to the plot until the last mission, despite being what most would call the "main character". The Radio Stations in the original release have about 10 out 150 songs that I actually give a flying shit about while the next gen release has an upgrade of about 15. Beautiful. Despite me ripping a lot on this, I did enjoy it and it's my second favorite game in the series and my 4th favorite of all time. It's DLC's have also had a similarly checkered rating for me......

Beach Bum Update C+
This update was the first content pack for GTA V and was pretty good for being the first of its kind. A lot of people rip on this one for having weak weapons, and while I can agree with that, they were unique weapons and I still use them regularly. The vehicles were also pretty fun with the Paradise being good for a van, the Kalahari being the black sheep of the three, but still having a cool design, and the Bifta being my favorite for its handling, vintage look and modifications. I also use the Surfer haircut for my character and it really gives it my own look. I didn't play the jobs or get the tattoos so I can't say much on that.

Holiday Gifts D+
God, this was bad. The only positive was the snow, and even THAT was cut short. No new vehicles, no new weapons and minimal clothing that kinda sucked in my opinion. The worst part about this update was that it was the last "DLC" for a month and a half. I hope this never gets repeated.

Valentine's Day Massacre Special B+
What an improvement over the latter. By the basic format of the DLC, I would hate this. One car that's WAY too overpriced, one weapon with average damage and only a few pieces of clothing and a new action. The thing that makes me genuinely enjoy the DLC though, is the theme. I love vintage cars, no matter how many there are, so the Roosevelt was excellent. I like a lot of weapons for their novelty, so the Gusenberg Sweeper had a great feel to me. I often dress my character up to famous characters from Pop Culture and Real-Life so the Mobster clothing options were great. It was an excellent DLC to start off 2014 and something I hope becomes an annual thing.

The Business Update B
Taking Care of Business! This DLC caught me offguard. I figured that after the Valentines Day Massacre Special, there wouldn't be enough time both for Rockstar to make and the public to genuinely want another DLC. Overall, it was alright. The two weapons were alright, with a Heavy Pistol making a good substitute for the Pistol .50 that I (along with many other fans) couldn't get, and the Special Carbine being excellent as a pair to a regular Carbine. The three vehicles are good, with two of them being brought back in a new form and the Alpha being brand-new (though I wish it was a luxury sedan, with its longer body). The new clothing was pretty cool and had some of the best clothing in the GTA Series of a whole in my opinion. An example and model of the kind of "typical" DLC that should be released.

Capture Creator N/A
I don't consider this a proper DLC. You may be wondering why I left the original Capture Update out and the Creator, I don't consider these updates. Those and this have very little that constitutes it as a proper GTA V DLC. The creator is just OK to me, I rarely use it anymore. I don't hate it, I just don't think anything of it.

The High Life Update F
Misleading, poorly executed and released at the worst possible time: Welcome to the High Life. Let me start on the misleading part, they promised a hell of a lot more about apartments than was given. I'll give them credit and say that me (along with the rest of the community) thought that there was going to be new apartments in new locations, with new, customizable interiors. There was NOTHING but new interiors that cost $100,000 dollars more than the other ones. The new weapon was boring. It has no originality to it as its name borrows from the Bullpup Shotgun, it's design borrows from the Advanced Rifle and its status as a DLC weapon as well as its assets, are borrowed from the Special Carbine. The clothing is cheesy with the sharp, black suit being the only one I actually wear. Despite the artwork that shows a woman, I hear that there wasn't any clothing for the female protagonist. Out-fucking-standing. The only positive to any of the DLC was the vehicles, in which the Huntley S and Zentorno were actually bearable. A horrible update in the overall selection of updates. DomisLive (and his banned channel) along with iCrazyTeddy can go eat big one when they say that "this was the bestest of all of them, because of the Zentorno and all the content we could release videos (that are just lining their pockets with the stupid ads) on."

I'm Not a Hipster Update B+
Much like the Valentines Day Massacre Update, this took a pile of shit that was the "recent DLC" and brought it back up to a damn fine standard. I love cars, there was seven of them. I like clothing and making my character look like a famous figure in pop culture, there was a hundred something new t-shirts, suits, tank tops, jeans, canvas shoes, dresses, off-shoulder T's and glasses available for both men and women. I like classic weapons, there was a pirate dagger and an early to mid 1900's style pistol. The reason I won't give it a perfect "A" is because of the time it took them to make it (but Rome wasn't built in a day so...) and the lack of a "special vehicle" like a boat, plane or even bike. Come on, it's '''hipsters. They're the biggest consumers and riders of bikes in the world and they couldn't even put one''' in there? Whatever, it's a good DLC and I'll be enjoying the benefits that it gave us for years to come.

Independence Day Special B+
Two DLC's in two weeks, Jesus! The best part about this was that they didn't suck! Everything about this update (as far as what's in it) was out of the norm. A monster truck, defunct police bike, musket and firework launcher. Man o' man did it deliver as far as vehicles and weapons. The clothing was OK but it gave me that patriotic vibe that you gotta appreciate. One of my favorite new features with the DLC was the properties they introduced. Sure, they were pretty much copy and pasted from the medium to low end apartments (with WCTR being the only talk station available) but as everybody knows, it's all about the location. My favorite one by far, is the medium apartment in Paleto Bay (as my bio dictates). Overall, pretty cool DLC and I hope it becomes a tradition.

The San Andreas Flight School Update C+
It's OK. It isn't what I was expecting since it was a month and a half after the last update and it would be a month and a half for the next one. Their was no weapons (disappointing) and the only vehicle I really liked was the Besra (as stated before). The flight school was short and easy (for me and my friends). The parachute bags and the outfit were cool and I liked them enough. An all around okay DLC. Nothing especially bad, nothing especially good.

The Last Team Standing Update B-
Right out of nowhere! I honestly wasn't expecting this at all and it was kind of weird getting a DLC after so long, I wasn't used to the feeling. The weapons in the DLC were alright with (yeah, call me a noob and/ or asshole) the Heavy Shotgun being my favorite. The vehicles were okay but forgettable. I liked the Innovation the most out of all of them. The clothing in the update was the great part about it, though. I loved the tactical kind of look for all of them and it really brought out that dream (that most little kids have) of being a spy or secret agent in bad-ass clothing. A little less mediocre than the Flight School Update, but still not quite there.

Festive Surprise B
It's a pretty sick DLC. It was a HUGE improvement over the previous years Holiday Special and it made me happy to see the sheer amount of details crammed into the game. The two weapons (while kinda unnecessary) were out of the box and cool none the less. I liked the vehicles and the clean variant of the Rat-Loader was my favorite vehicle out of all of them and I wish they did it with other ones. The clothing was alright and reflected the season well and the snow was excellent. I loved the addition of snow to the game and I wish I took the opportunity to take pictures for the wiki. It was a good DLC for the holiday season and a good hold-over while Rockstar was working on Heists.